Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

Gottman Predicted Divorce With 90% Accuracy — Here's the #1 Trait He Found

17 Apr 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:53

In this relationship‑advice video, the presenter explains Dr. John Gottman's research that identified four chronic conflict behaviors—defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stonewalling—that together predict divorce with 90% accuracy. The focus is on stonewalling, defined as a partner’s complete withdrawal from communication during conflict. The speaker describes its observable signs: silence, flat affect, avoidance, phone distraction, and repetitive “I dunno” answers. By clarifying what stonewalling looks like, the video sets up the importance of recognizing it and hints at how partners should respond, positioning stonewalling as the most critical trait for predicting marital breakdown.

Chapters

In this video, I want to show you why your partner is stonewalling you during conflict and how you should respond when it happens. Dr. John Gottman has studied thousands of couples, and he was able to predict divorce with 90% accuracy based on the chronic presence of 4 traits during conflict, which are defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and last but not least, stonewalling. So this is really a big deal. But first, let's go over what stonewalling is. Stonewalling is when one person decides not to communicate during a conflict. They get quiet, they become avoidant, they don't communicate in any way, and they don't signal anything. Their whole demeanor changes, and they develop what's known as a flat affect. In other words, they don't show any emotion whatsoever. They might pull out their phone and act like they don't care anymore, and it doesn't matter what you do or say. They completely ignore you. They just go silent on you, and they answer every question with "I dunno" over and over again.