Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

How to Borrow Calm From Another Person's Nervous System

5 Jun 2026 · 1 min

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Your nervous system can borrow calm from someone else's. Mirror neurons and vagal tone let you absorb another person's regulated state just by being near them, which is why a calm flight attendant during turbulence actually helps, or why a parent's steadiness settles a child.

mirror neurons, vagal tone, and neurochemistry of felt safety play a role in this process. So for example, when there's turbulence on a plane and you look at the flight attendant and she's calm, your nervous system absorbs that and you calm down. You don't need her to explain the aerodynamics. You don't need to understand how turbulence forms in the atmosphere. All you need is her regulated presence. And that is co-regulation, and it works the same way between a parent and a child, or a leader and a team, or a mediator and two people in conflict.