Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

How to Calm Anyone Down in 30 Seconds

19 May 2026 · 1 min

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Doug Noll shows how naming someone's emotions can defuse tension in seconds. At an airport, he told an angry TSA officer, "You're really frustrated and annoyed. You don't feel heard." The officer apologized immediately. The technique works by shifting their brain from reactive to rational mode.

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I'm going to show you a real situation where this worked, and no, it wasn't a therapy room or a negotiation table. It was at an airport, and the exact question that turned it around in 30 seconds. So, I was going through TSA security on a trip recently, and a TSA person made some kind of condescending comment to me. I don't know why. They were having a bad day. But instead of reacting, I took a deep breath, breathed it out, and then I looked at the agent and said, "You're really frustrated and annoyed. You don't feel listened to. You don't feel heard." You know what happened? The agent immediately apologized and became helpful. That worked because I redirected the agent from non-reactive behavior to emotional reflection and a regulated emotional state. I forced that agent's prefrontal cortex back online.