How to Respond When a Joke Crosses the Line

How to respond when someone says, "I was just joking," after disrespecting you. Number 1: That wasn't funny, it was hurtful. When you say this calmly and directly, you're showing them that you won't let them hide behind the joke excuse. Number 2: Jokes don't hurt people's feelings. That was something else. This works because you're making a clear distinction between actual humor and what they just did. You're not arguing about whether it was a joke, you're simply stating that real jokes don't cause harm. And this puts them in the position of having to defend why their joke was hurtful. Number 3, simply say, "Okay," and then be quiet. This is powerful because your silence forces them to sit with what they just said. Most people will start explaining themselves when you meet them with this kind of calm, non-reactive response. Has someone ever used this on you?