Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

Stop Listening to Their Words, Do This Instead to Never Get Triggered

12 Jun 2026 · 1 min

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Stop parsing what people say word-for-word. Instead, ignore the literal content and identify the emotion underneath: anger, frustration, rejection, fear. Name it back to them simply: "You feel angry." This de-escalates conflict and keeps you from getting triggered by their words.

They have nothing but neurological noise going inside of them. The skill? You have to learn how to ignore that noise. Ignore the words. Read the underlying emotion instead. What's actually happening in their brain right now? What are they feeling? Then, reflect back their emotion by naming what they're feeling using a simple declarative sentence. You feel angry. You feel frustrated. You feel disrespected. You feel abandoned, rejected, and betrayed. You're afraid this is not going to work.