Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

The #1 Leadership Mistake With Emotional Employees

10 Jan 2026 · 1 min

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In this short coaching video, Doug Noll explains that leaders often view emotional employees as the problem, when the real issue is the leader’s lack of a clear response to displayed emotions. He describes the common instinct to correct or silence an upset employee, which only escalates tension and shuts down dialogue. Noll proposes a simple, actionable technique: directly name the emotion the employee is experiencing (e.g., “You are frustrated,” “I feel angry and disrespected”) without using “I” statements or passive language. By labeling the feeling, the emotion is acknowledged, the tension eases, and the conversation can return to productive work. The overall message is that mastering this emotional‑naming approach is essential for becoming a leader people want to work with.

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Most leaders think emotional employees are the problem, but in reality, the problem is not knowing what to do when these emotions show up. See, whenever an employee is frustrated or upset, their tone changes. Suddenly, the conversation stops being purely about work, and instinctively, leaders try to correct their behavior because they think, "This isn't professional." But that reaction creates more harm because it shuts people down, and that's not what a great leader does. So instead of shutting them up, name the emotions directly. You are frustrated, angry, I'm angry and feel disrespected. No I statements, no passive voice. You will see the emotion finally settling in front of you, and the conversation will become productive again. But if you want to become a leader people actually want to work with, make sure you follow