The 3-Step Process to Calm Anyone Down in 90 Seconds

So how does this magical technique work? It's a 3-step process. Step number 1: Ignore the words. Whatever you're hearing, just don't even listen to it, because when you ignore them, you won't get triggered. Second, read the emotions. Let your brain do the work. It's hardwired to read other people's emotions from 2 million years of evolution. Just be silent in your brain. Don't think, don't analyze, don't try to guess. The emotions will flow into you, and you'll know what they're feeling. And then, very simply, you're going to use the magic phrase, 2 words: "You feel." "You feel angry," "You feel frustrated," "You feel upset." That's all you have to say. Do not use "I" statements. That makes all about you. We need to keep it on them. Keep it simple. Keep it about them. Don't ask questions, "Are you angry?" It doesn't work. It'll just make them upset.