In this talk, Doug Noll, a former trial lawyer turned peacemaking and conflict‑studies scholar, outlines his career shift and the development of a neuroscience‑grounded, counterintuitive technique for building deep emotional connections, de‑escalating conflict, and dramatically increasing emotional intelligence. He explains that most people are unaware of how everyday emotional interactions can become abusive because they lack education on the brain’s construction of emotions and the Six Needs of Victims. Drawing on over 20 years of experience, Noll describes how his method—based on how the brain processes emotional information—has been taught to thousands of mediators, coaches, pastors, therapists, and even a maximum‑security inmate, producing measurable outcomes such as stronger parent‑child bonds, reduced fear of conflict, higher client gratitude, and increased professional revenue. He concludes with an invitation to join his training program, emphasizing that the skills are teachable, effective, and rooted in 21st‑century neuroscience rather than outdated myths.
Chapters
I'm Doug Noll. Professionally, I was a trial lawyer for 22 years before I decided that litigation was not a good way for people to resolve conflicts. So I went back to school and earned my master's degree in peacemaking and conflict studies, and that led me into the neuroscience of peace and conflict. In fact, I was one of the first people to ever write about the psychology, the neuropsychology of peace and conflict. Since that time over 20 years ago, I have trained thousands of people in a counterintuitive and radical technique I've developed that helps people build deep emotional connections with other people, de-escalate conflict, and drive emotional intelligence through the roof. People that don't know about these skill sets are really in ignorance, and they don't know that they engage in emotional abuse every day. They don't know that there's a way to be present with people of all ages, from a 2-year-old to a 102-year-old, in a way that makes that person feel deeply validated. They don't know about the Six Needs of Victims. They don't know about emotions or how emotions are constructed in the brain. And it's not their fault, because it's not being taught anywhere in schools or undergraduate level or graduate level. Graduate level. This is all brand new knowledge based on brand new neuroscience. It's powerful, it's effective, it's teachable, and it works. Most are shocked when they learn that their natural responses to emotional clients actually causes harm instead of good. The mediators, coaches, pastors, therapists, and counselors that I've trained over the years tell me that they can't imagine what their lives would be like without the skills that I have taught them. They are so relieved that they no longer have the stress of not knowing how to respond to people who are emotionally distraught or angry or upset. Now they have the tools that really work because it's based on how the brain processes emotional information. The letters and emails of gratitude I get from these people every week absolutely attests to the power of what they have learned. So one inmate told me a story that profoundly affected me. He talked about how when he would have one 15-minute call a week with his family, he would talk to his 7-year-old daughter for about 30 seconds. After he took my training and mastered my skills, he tried working with his daughter in a completely different way using the skills that I had taught him, and he reported to me the most amazing thing. After the call, his daughter went to her mother and said, "Mommy, I want my own 15 minutes with Daddy every week. Nobody else can have him but me for that phone call." And ever since that time, my inmate and his 7-year-old daughter, now 8 years old, have had their own personal conversation for 15 minutes every week. And all he does is use these skills on her. And he says, "I've never felt more connected." I've never been able to influence her more powerfully, and I've never gotten to know her as a human being as deeply as I have in these last 6 months. So if a guy who's locked up in a maximum security prison can influence his 8-year-old daughter 15 minutes a week, think about what you could do with these skills. People actually report that they're no longer afraid of conflict or arguments or strong emotions. And what's even more amazing is that they report that their clients have deep gratitude and thank them profusely for being present in a new and powerful way. The people I train are retaining and attracting new clients, and they're even charging more because they're getting effective results, and word of mouth grows their practices in ways they could not even imagine. If this looks like it would be something of interest to you, I'd really like to work with you to train you in these counterintuitive skills that are based on 21st century neuroscience, not 20th century myths. So check out the rest of the page, and if it resonates with you, I'll see you in class.
