Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

Why Emotional Invalidation Is About Them (Not You)

5 May 2026 · 1 min

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When someone says you're overreacting, they're reacting to their own discomfort, not assessing you fairly. People invalidate others because they were invalidated themselves. Logic won't work on someone in threat mode; it makes them dig in harder.

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is not a statement about you. It's an unconscious response to the discomfort the other person feels being in your presence when you're emotional. We invalidate others because we were invalidated ourselves, and it has become habitual. When someone says you're overreacting, they're not analyzing you. They're reacting to something in your emotion that's triggering them. Here's the thing: feelings are facts, even if they are fleeting. But trying to address someone's emotional state with logic confuses them, saddens them, or makes them even angrier. The more you argue for the right to feel what you feel, the more entrenched they become. You cannot outlogic somebody whose brain is in threat mode.