Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

Why Explaining Never Calms an Angry Person

9 Jan 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:30

When someone is angry, explaining why they shouldn't be just makes them angrier. They're overwhelmed and hear your explanation as dismissal. Listen first, explain later. That's what actually helps.

Here's why explaining never calms an angry person. The thing is, when someone is upset, they're overwhelmed in that moment. So when you start explaining your side, all they hear is, "You're not getting how I feel," even if your explanation makes total sense. And that's why they don't calm down. However, you should know you're not wrong. It's just explaining too early feels like dismissal, and that's what makes things worse. If you want to learn what actually calms people down, comment "listen" and I'll share how to listen to people effectively.