Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

Why "Giving Chances" Is Destroying Your Relationship!

9 Sept 2025 · 0 min

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0:27

Doug Noll argues that constantly threatening to leave destroys relationships. Instead, observe what your partner does right, praise it, and make suggestions without judgment. Threats of absence don't change behavior, but attention to the good does.

Your relationship is a mess because you keep giving your partner more chances. But have you ever asked yourself, what am I giving them more chances for? The truth is, you think you're giving them more chances to be better, but what you're actually doing is threatening them with your absence every time they disappoint you. So instead, you should give them a real chance. Observe them every day and praise them for anything they do right. Tell them how they can improve, but don't judge them. Say, next time you might consider doing this instead. Save this video so you never forget.