Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

Why Some Conversations Drain You

12 Jan 2026 · 1 min

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Some conversations exhaust you because you're doing double emotional labor: managing your own feelings while also managing the other person's. You're choosing words carefully, reading their tone, holding back reactions. That exhaustion is real work, not weakness.

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Ever notice how some conversations leave you completely drained? Here's what's really happening. In that conversation, you weren't just managing your emotions, you were managing the other person's emotions too. You were choosing your words carefully while reading their tone and holding back your reactions while the other person just spoke. That's double emotional labor, and anyone would feel exhausted doing that. It's not that you're weak or overly sensitive. You were just doing more work than you realized. And once you see that, the exhaustion finally makes sense. Save this as a reminder you need before having that one conversation.