Why You Lose Control Under Emotional Pressure

Just remember, you're never gonna rise to the level of your knowledge. You're only gonna fall to the level of your competency. And if you haven't practiced and trained in how to respond to intense emotion, you're gonna fall back to what you know, which is what you learned in childhood. That's why when we see 40-year-olds acting crazy, we say they're acting like 6-year-olds, because in that moment they are 6 years old. So control is a trained response, not a personality trait. So what we've all heard about fight or flight, but it's not just about physical danger. There are parts of our brain, particularly the amygdala, that cannot distinguish between a social threat and a physical threat. It fires off often micro-moments on anything: a dismissive comment, being talked over, condescension, being disrespected, being treated as if you're invisible. Their hijack is driving their behavior, and you are the nearest target, not the cause of it. But the problem is, the moment your amygdala fires, your prefrontal cortex loses capacity for calm, and it loses the capacity for the proper response.