Wilton Carraway Jr., senior minister of the Whitney Avenue Church of Christ, shares his experience with Doug Noll's de‑escalation course. He enrolled because his ministry frequently encounters people in high‑anxiety or conflict situations and he sought a systematic method to help them calm down before addressing deeper issues. The course, reinforced by Doug's book, taught him to listen to emotions rather than words, connect to the heart, and build relationships that facilitate healing. By applying these techniques, he bridges individuals from intense emotional states to rational problem‑solving, leading to exponential improvements in his relationships and ministry effectiveness. He emphasizes that genuine listening opens emotional floodgates, fostering trust and collaboration. Carraway praises Doug Noll as a caring mentor who took personal risks to support him, and he recommends the course to anyone seeking to enhance their peacemaking abilities, noting that there is nothing to lose and much to gain.
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My name is Wilton Kirway Jr. I am the senior minister of the Whitney Avenue Church of Christ, and I consider myself a peacemaker. What persuaded me to take Doug Noll's course on de-escalation was the simple process of I deal with a lot of people who are in high anxiety situations or in conflict with others. And so I was looking for a program or a method of de-escalating people or to just having people getting in touch with themselves before we look deeper into the issues that they have in their life. And reading his book gave me a method and a tool to really help people de-escalate and really look deeper into the problem within themselves and to be able to find now a solution once that they had calmed down with their emotions. So it was a great way to bridge a person from being highly emotional to now becoming rational where they can think through a process and find a reasonable solution to their problems. As a result of taking this course, my relationship with people has exponentially magnified. I find it so easy to relate to people because when I am listening to them and engaged and I actually tell them what they're feeling and I can relate with them on that personal and emotional level, the floodgates open. The words pour forth, the emotions come out, and they just feel a sense of somebody can hear them, somebody can understand them, and somebody is there for them. My biggest takeaway from what I learned from Doug Noll in this program is connection and relationship. That just by listening to people, you are connecting to the heart. And when you connect to the heart, you establish that relationship, and that relationship brings healing. And that's the biggest thing that de-escalating people and listening to them, listening to the emotion and not the words and identifying with emotions can do for a person. Let them feel like somebody cares about them. And when they know that you care about them, they're willing to work with you. So now we forge that relationship and we've been finding solutions. And I'm all about finding solutions. What I would say to anyone who was thinking about taking this course is, what do you have to lose? You have nothing to lose and you have everything to gain. And try everything step by step. Don't rush yourself. And you will see how it changes others' lives exponentially. And that will bring you a feeling of gratification knowing that you helped somebody's life get better. The kindest thing I can say about Doug Noll is that he's a caring individual, a person who will take a risk on somebody he doesn't know. He didn't know me, didn't have to call me back, didn't have to answer my email. But he did it and he poured his heart out to me and gave me everything that he has, and I'm a better peacemaker because of it. Since I've learned these skills, my life has really improved. It's about giving back. It's about receiving and giving what I've received. I've received love from this course and I've learned how to give love back just by listening and being there for people. And Doug was there for me to teach me these, these things. So again, I'm just grateful. I have a heart of gratitude toward this course and toward Doug Noll, um, that I can help change lives, and that's what it's all about.
