Porn Addiction: What It's Doing to Your Brain

Do you know that porn can rewire your brain? Stay tuned and find out how. Well, hello there. I am here today with Dr. Bumi Asana. She is from Houston, Texas. She is a psychiatrist specializing in general and addiction. Psychiatrist. And I'm having her here because we are going to talk about addiction and what is addiction? And particularly on porn addiction. How is that different or maybe the same with other addictions? So we're going to dive deep today into that topic because it is an important topic that sometimes we don't really understand very well. And I wanted to make sure that you come out of this with at least a general understanding. What is addiction? So welcome, Dr. Asana. Thank you for being here with me today.

Thank you very much for having me here. I'm very excited to have this discussion with you on this very important topic. So thank you.

Yes. And I know that you're the expert on it, and that's why I have you here. But let's first I'll start with what is addiction? How do you define addiction?

Addiction is basically a compulsive use of either a substance or the presence of a behavior that. That happens repeatedly despite its harmful effect on the person or on their functioning. So it's also a primary chronic disease. You may have heard addiction talked about it being a disease because it's a disease of the brain, of the brain reward system. It affects motivation, affects memory. It affects those circuits that are part of it.

Okay, so the brain reward system. Let's backtrack on that. So in a simple term, how do you know you have an addiction?

So there are certain things to look for when it comes to an addiction, because not everyone who engages in a certain behavior, whether it's gambling or porn or even using a substance, is going to have an addiction. Lots of people drink alcohol, not addicted to alcohol. So just because you're engaging with that doesn't mean you have an addiction to. So where it actually becomes an addiction is when there are certain things to look out for. There's the compulsive behavior. That's a big one. There's also loss of control. So when a person has a plan, oh, you know, I'm only going to use this quantity or this frequency or this amount. They set out that way, but then they're not able to keep it within the parameters that they have decided to. There's a loss of control. So they're using more than they intended. They're using more frequently than they intended or over a longer period of time. And then the third part of that is that there has to be consequences, negative consequences that are happening in their life. And so they are using up or continuing to engage in that behavior despite the negative consequences that they're experiencing. So they. So that's when you know that there's a problem because there's loss of control and then there's that compulsivity in addition to negative consequences.

How do you define compulsivity?

Yeah, compulsiveness is when someone continues to do something without being able to stop themselves. So when you think about, for example, OCD or compulsive behavior, there's that urge to do something, and they have little ability to be able to stop it, even though they know it's not a good idea. Or, like I said, there's some negative consequences as well associated with it, but they're doing it anyway. It's almost like a reflex where it just happens without being able to stop it.

So how long do you have to kind of do the compulsiveness, the loss of control and that, you know it's bad, but you still do it anyway? How long do you keep on doing that until it becomes kind of like an addiction?

Very, very good question. That can be a challenging question, because there's no set length of time, because person A can continue to do that behavior, and it becomes a problem within a month or two. Person B, it takes them years before it becomes a problem. So I think it's going to come down to when are you starting to see those consequences happening while you're still continuing to engage in that behavior? So it's not really about a length of time. It's more about, okay, is it really starting to affect your work? Are you going in late to work every day? Are you missing days at work and you are on the verge of losing your job? Is it affecting your relationships? Maybe your partner has said, okay, this is a problem. This is getting in the way of our relationships, but you're having difficulty stopping it, and you're on the verge of losing that relationship, or you've already lost that relationship because of that particular behavior. So. So some partners will stick around for years before they leave. And some partners, they're like, okay, sayonara. I'm not about this. I'm out of here. So it's not really about the length of time. It's about, when are you starting to see those consequences happening and how is it affecting your life?

So oftentimes when you see patients for addiction, do they bring themselves to say, hey, I have a problem, or Is their loved ones or family member will bring them to, to the office. Because I would find that it would be hard to do self reflection and say, oh, I think I have an addiction. Because from your description, that behavior could be applicable to porn, to alcohol, to marijuana, illegal drugs and food. And oftentimes it's hard for you to know, hey, I have an addiction, I have a problem. So what do you generally see?

Absolutely. So it's a little bit of both, but usually it's driven by again, those consequences. So whether their partner or their loved one has said, if you don't get help, this relationship is over, or I'm moving out, or I'm kicking you out of this house, or their job has said, if you don't get help, you have lost this job. Or they've already lost three or four jobs and they're realizing that, okay, this is a problem. So it's usually consequence, Oftentimes it's consequences driven. The that's when they start to realize, okay, I have a problem, right? The common denominator in these negative things that are happening in my life is this behavior or this substance. So if I really want that to change, then I better get it under control. So I've had the situations where the loved one comes in with the person that says, I want to make sure you come to this appointment. So I'm going to sit right here with you with this doctor until we figure this out. Or the person brings them in and waiting in the car and says, okay, you've got to go or else this is not gonna continue to work out. And I wanna see some changes.

So oftentimes, do you normally see that where a loved one, they come to see you because they have to do something or the relationship fall apart. Is that really the main impetus to get help for addiction?

It is a very common one, and that's one part of it. But oftentimes there is the scenario where the relationship is just too far gone, that the partner is no longer involved. The partner has gone before the person realizes that, okay, I really need to get help. So when they come with the partner, that means things are not as bad as they could be. So they came before it completely fell apart. But there are scenarios where they come when they've already lost that relationship and the person doesn't want to give them the fifth or the sixth chance anymore. They're already out the door and so they're coming after the fact.

Right. Let's talk about porn addiction. And it's becoming more prevalent. You see that More in younger men kind of want to get from a psychiatrist standpoint. This is what I see too. And it's just the literature that younger men start to have ED with porn addiction, or if addiction meet all the criteria, compulsiveness, loss of control and negative consequences. And we talked about this in my past episode of men that have been addicted to porn. And they say that, yeah, they do it even though they'll miss out on going to dinner with family or make excuses just so that they can just stay home and watch porn. And sometimes it's so out of their control they have to do it. So what goes on in a person's brain or a person's body when they watch porn?

That's a very good question. So like the other definition I gave you for General Edition, porn is similar. So the way we kind of define porn in the psychiatry world is it's recurrent, intense sexual fantasies, urges, behaviors involving the use of pornographic materials that is going to lead to a clinically significant distress or impairment in their functioning. And that functioning may be social functioning, occupational functioning, various types of functioning. And so there are certain criteria that we look at to be able to diagnose a person with porn addiction. And similar to what I said before, they're gonna have the recurrence and intense urges and sexual fantasies, right, Involving the materials. They have to have the difficulty controlling the urges, even when they're aware of the negative consequences. And it's going to cause significant stress on their social, occupational, and other kinds of functioning. Of course, we have to make sure that those effects are not as a result of something else that could be driving it. So those are some of the things that we look at now like other addictions. Porn addiction is something that affects the brain. So when that behavior continues, it actually starts to change the brain. And so when it changes the brain, that's when you start to see those behaviors that are strange. Why would somebody want to miss out on spending time with their family to watch porn? Like, this is a strange behavior. This is not something that you would expect. That's because their decision making capacities of their brain has changed. It's been hijacked by this activity. So now this is in control. So there are various aspects of the brain that controls different parts of the addiction. And without going into scientific terms, there's one part of the brain that is associated with the reward system. And the reward system, we learn based on rewards. Kind of like how your kids would learn or even your dog would learn. Like you get them a treat, they do whatever the activity you want them to do. As human beings, we have the same circuit. If we get a positive reward, then we learn to want to do that thing. So the area of your brain, your basal ganglia, is the area that is associated with the reward system. So when you continue to do that behavior, there's a spike in a neurotransmitter called dopamine, and you get a spike of dopamine. And that is the feel good hormone. You feel great, you feel amazing, you feel on top of the world. And when you do that over and over again, it starts to hijack that system where other areas of your life where you would experience a normal level of dopamine, like spending time with your family, having a nice dinner with your loved ones, or having a nice meal, going for a walk, all of those things, or even having sex with your partner, Normal things that you would get a feel good hormone from, you don't get that anymore. The only place you're getting it from is this activity that has hijacked that area of your brain. So what happens? You're not interested in those things anymore because it doesn't feel as good as it would. So that's where that compulsivity comes in. You have learned to continue to engage in this behavior that makes you feel good. So that's one aspect. The other aspect of the brain is your prefrontal cortex. That's a place that does the decision making. It controls your judgment, and it can also be hijacked. So now you start making decisions that causes you to continue to engage in that activity as opposed to really doing anything else, even when it doesn't make sense, even when you're noticing negative consequences. So all of these things I'm talking about, they're associated with various aspects of the brain that have actually changed as a result. And that's why you're seeing these behaviors and seeing these decisions that cause the person to behave in the way that they do. Another aspect of the brain is the amygdala. That's the place that controls your stress response. So over time, you start to notice that when you're not doing that activity or engaging in that behavior, you start to get what would be like, withdrawal symptoms. You miss it, you think about it, you get cravings, and so you want to escape that. Nobody likes an uncomfortable feeling, and so we'll do anything to escape that. Then you go back there. So these major areas of the brain are really critical in what we are seeing. When we see the behaviors that are associated with Addiction, and that's why it's a disease. It has actually changed the brain. So there's both the psychological aspect of it, which is all intertwined with this, and there's also the physical aspect of it. So both of those together is what makes it so such a challenging thing for people.

So what's the psychological aspect? So you did a great job in explaining the area of the brain that essentially when porn addiction happened. The part of your brain is the basal ganglia, in the deep part of your brain. And then the prefrontal cortex, which is in the front of your brain right here, and then the amygdala, which is also in the deep part of the brain, changes chemically. There are chemicals that are being secreted and being transferred that changes. And I love the word hijack. Your reward system, it's not functioning normally. Again, it's hijacking it. So is it hijacking it to always kind of like gear towards, all right, I gotta watch porn to get that. And it's hijacking everything else, and it just wants to gear toward porn.

Absolutely. It's redirecting you back to watching porn, because that's where all the dopamine is going to come. So the dopamine floods your brain when you watch porn, but you don't get it anywhere else. So when you're doing anything else, you're bored, you're detached, you're not engaged, because it doesn't fill you up anymore. Hanging out with your family, your friends, going to work, doing other things, it doesn't feel good. It's like, okay, when is the next time I'm going to go and watch porn? Because that's what feels good.

And you can also relay that to having sex with a partner. Because having sex with a partner doesn't feel the same as watching porn.

Exactly. Which is wild because usually that would be something someone would think, like, that is definitely a feel good activity. Right. But because the system has been hijacked, it doesn't feel so good anymore. Now your mind is. Even when you're having sex with your partner, your mind is preoccupied with, okay, I'm thinking about that. Maybe when I'm done, I can go back and do that again. So the obsession piece kind of comes in with that as well.

So it's a rewiring that actually happened. What about the psychological component? We see that, okay, the brain getting rewired. There's a shift in the neurotransmitter or the chemicals that each part of the brain is talking to. What about like the psychological part that you mentioned, what happens during porn addiction?

Yeah. So the psychological piece is that we start to see that it's now associated with disturbance in the mood. So I alluded to it when I said, okay, when you're doing everything else, you're bored, you're detached, it doesn't feel good anymore. We also start to see shame and guilt. And when we see a lot of that come in, you start to see depression. Person is down most of the time, and just feeling of sadness, feeling of, okay, there's this dark cloud over me. There can also be anxiety because the person may be noticing that, okay, my world is falling apart. There are all these negative consequences that are happening to me. And they may have anxiety because of that. And then again, porn becomes an escape because when they're in that moment and they got that feel good hormone, guess what? The depression and the anxiety disappears for a moment. They can get a break from it, they can get an escape from it, but when they're not doing that, it's back to baseline, which the shame, the guilt, the isolation, the loneliness, the sadness, the anxiety, everything kind of comes back into place again. And as a result of that, we see detachment. People actually start to remove themselves from connection with other people. So it's very common to see they're not spending time with their friends or their loved ones anymore. They are isolating, they're pulling into themselves, which is a negative feedback cycle because it only makes things worse. When you're by yourself, when you're lonely, you don't feel good, you feel worse. It's almost like a virus where it feeds itself. It makes you to do the thing that makes it worse, so it can continue to be worse. And then you're stuck in that vicious cycle.

Oh, wow, that makes so much sense.

You.

So it's like when you're with people, you feel the guilt and the shame. So then you want to avoid that, you isolate yourself and that make you more depressed as well and more anxious. So it's like you can't win at all because you're trying to be with your family forth and you still have that negative feeling. So why is it so common? Why is it so common that we fall trapped to this? Even though what you're explaining is like, oh my God, like a horrible thing, why is it so common? And following that, why is it so hard to overcome? And we keep falling back on the bandwagon again.

There are various things to think about. So a lot of times, like we said, people who watch porn are not all addicted to porn. So lots of people that watch porn, it's not a problem. It starts off as just recreational use, and it's fun and it's fine. But when it starts to become a problem is when there are certain risk factors that are associated with. With it. One large amount of stress. So if someone is under a large amount of stress and they start to use this as an escape, just like people may use alcohol, you had a stressful day at work. You want to come back home and unwind with a glass of wine. So it's in the same way they had a stressful day. I just want an escape. I don't want to think about my annoying boss and what they said to me and all the work they gave me. So I'm going to escape. And because you're having an inordinate amount of stress, you're doing this repeatedly and frequently. So you see how the frequency comes into place. You didn't start off that way. You didn't plan for it to happen that way. But because of what's driving you, the trigger, you're doing it repeatedly. It's a similar thing where maybe the person has an underlying psychological problem or mental health issue, maybe they have an underlying depression or. Or underlying anxiety. And this again becomes an escape, becomes a reprieve, because they notice, whenever I watch porn, it feels good. I don't have to think about my depression. I don't have to think about my anxiety. I can relax. And so, again, because that is prevailing, that those negative feelings are prevalent. They're doing it repeatedly. And that's when it starts to become a problem because it becomes more frequent, maybe they're spending more time on it. And then slowly but surely, that hijack starts to happen. So the risk factor we see when it comes from occasional use to now more frequent use, and then now more regular use, and then, okay, I haven't stopped or taken a break in months. Then we're starting to see, okay, this is getting to the point where it's risky. And we're worried that you may be going towards meeting criteria for an addiction. Addiction.

So I love the way how you explained that the risk factors of stress and with a history of depression or anxiety is almost like an escape. And so, having said that, is porn addiction is rewiring of the brain and the chemicals. Is that any different than, like, addiction.

To alcohol, the way it affects the brain? No, it's very, very similar. It's just chemical versus a behavior. It's very similar. Once it starts to take hold Once it starts to hijack that part of the brain, it behaves very, very similarly. So where you may not experience. So for example, with alcohol, in addition to all of these behavioral changes, you would start to experience the actual physical effects of alcohol. Because alcohol can affect your liver, it can affect various organs in your body where this is different in ways that it's not affecting your body in those ways. But there are other ways it can potentially affect your body. If the person is staring at a screen for several hours in the day, they may start to get headaches, maybe they're not sleeping as well. They may start to have insomnia, which can in turn right, affect sleep is very, very important. And you start to have chronic insomnia that will start to affect your body in many, many different ways. Things, your cortisol or stress levels are very high. You start to notice difficulty with focus and attention, concentration, energy level, even empathy, being able to interact with other people. So those are some of the differences that you may see when it's like a chemical versus a behavioral addiction. But it's not without consequences. There's an effect of one thing leads to another, leads to another, and leads to another.

Yeah, that makes really sense. So how does a person start to kind of realize, or maybe a family member king on the outside. And oftentimes when I talk to patients been addicted to porn, they said that oftentimes the family member doesn't know anything that they're watching it because they'll be in their office, it'll be just on their computer. Nowadays you can watch porn on your phone, your computer, so the family doesn't know you don't have to be in front of a tv. When I was, you know, younger, just vhs, you got to be in front of a tv. Now you can watch on your phone, on your iPad. And oftentimes the family member doesn't know what they're doing because they're thinking they're working or they're just doing computer work. How does family member kind of recognize that their loved one is possibly addicted to porn? As in what type of common behavior?

No, that's a great question because, you know, we want to be able to help our loved ones, especially before things get so bad that their life is affected in so many ways of their lost jobs, they've lost relationship, they've lost lots of things. So signs can be things like isolation, they're withdrawing, maybe they're not spending time with people they normally would. They're not hanging out with their friends or family, They're Canceling plans, they're not answering their phones or text messages as much anymore. So isolation is one thing that we would try to see. And they are isolating themselves and they have little desire to engage with other people in their lives. So as a result, people may start to notice that. And so that's something to keep in mind. Another thing is that you may start to notice the consequences that's going on. Maybe you're starting to notice that they are getting bad reviews at work, or they're getting a suspension at work, or maybe they're put on probation or they're going to lose their job or other things, their financial problems that they normally wouldn't have. All of a sudden they're asking for money repeatedly that okay, where did all your money go? You may start to notice things like that they're not sleeping, they don't seem healthy, they're tired all the time, low energy, they can't seem to focus. Or you may notice some of the psychological problems, like they just seem depressed, they're not happy, they're not excited about anything. When you ask them, hey, let's go bowling or let's go and watch this movie or do this hobby that they usually would enjoy doing, they have no interest in doing any of that. They're like, no, you go on ahead, I'll just stay home, I'll watch some tv, I'll just be on my computer. They're not interested in that. So you may start to see some of those things. And those could be signs that something is going on. And you may not know exactly because oftentimes they may be good at hiding the porn, they may be good at hiding what they're doing. And so the loved one may have no idea what it is, but it's just a sense that something is off, something is wrong. And it can be an avenue for an open conversation for them to approach the loved one and say, hey, I'm worried about you. Something is off. It's really helpful when you approach a loved one to say these, to be specific about these are the things that I've noticed lately. I've noticed that you're having a lot more difficulty with work. I've noticed that you just seem more down and sad lately. I noticed that you engaged, you don't want to hang out with anymore, you don't want to talk to us anymore, what's going on? Talk to me. And you want to approach them with a kind, non judgmental approach. Because if you're approaching them and they sense that, okay, this person's going to judge me. This person is going to give me a whole lecture. Guess what they're not going to do is tell you what's going on. They're going to keep it to themselves. So you want to be supportive. You want to say, hey, I'm here for you. I'm here to help you, and I'm worried about you, and just have that open conversation and allow them to talk.

Why is it so hard to overcome addiction? I see that. And, you know, people will be in rehab and then they fall off the bandwagon again. Why is it so hard?

It's very hard because your brain is different. It's not the exact that it was before this happened. Right. You have learned. Your brain has learned something new. It's wired differently. So it takes a while to rewire, like you were saying earlier, to rewire those circuits that have changed. It takes effort, it takes lots of change to be able to rewire it. So, yes, it's a struggle. It's difficult. And that's why you hear the phrase, one day at a time. I'm going to get through it today, and then I'll deal with tomorrow when it gets here. And that's really the main reason is that your brain is completely different. So there is a lot of change that needs to happen before you're able to get back to or even close to where you were before.

So sometime it's really almost like they become a victim of the rewiring that goes on in the brain. And in order to reverse addiction, you have to rewire the brain again to get the neurotransmitters and the chemicals be balanced again.

Do you need medication?

Can you do it without medication?

You can do it with medication, without medication. Depending on, of course, the type of addiction, depending on the severity of the addiction. And so there's been a lot of advances in medicine that provide for medications to help people get back, to make it easier for them to. Through this rewiring process. Medication does not work in isolation. So there's still behavioral changes that need to happen. And so you're learning how to reverse some of the consequences that have happened. You're learning how to bring things back into your life that you've pushed away because you're spending so much time with this addiction. You're learning how to experience joy and positive emotions from normal things that you would have been able to before that you haven't been able to. Now you're learning how to identify your triggers. What are the things that once your brain sees that cue, it automatically thinks about porn. What are the things that you don't even. Because sometimes those triggers are subconscious. You don't even realize that you've been triggered until you, you find yourself going to watch porn again. So being able to identify those triggers and being able to navigate how to avoid the triggers, how to work through it, the rationalization that your brain is going to tell you it's okay just this one time, right? You've been doing so well, it's been two weeks, you should reward yourself, right? There's so many narratives that are brave and being able to identify those narratives, identify the traps. So there's a lot of learning. And that learning is contributing to helping you rewire the brain. So now when you start to have different activities that you associate with stress, as opposed to going to porn, now your brain starts to associate, forms a new association with a healthier coping skill as opposed to watching porn. So that's a new synapse that's formed in your brain. So there's a lot of steps that you can take and it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight.

So is that why when you see a patient with addiction, you normally start with the medication first to kind of help them all get over the bump, or would you want to have more of therapy to rewire the triggers and the thoughts?

Yeah, very, very good question. So when I see a patient with addiction, I would do a full assessment because like I said, some of the critical driving factors is if there is a mental health problem underneath. So if that is not addressed, if they have an underlying depression, underlying anxiety, underlying trauma, that's something that we haven't talked about sensibly. But trauma is a big risk factor. If they have an underlying trauma that has not been addressed. I don't care how many self help groups they go to, how much medication they take, it's going to come back to it because that trigger is there and has not been addressed. So part of what I do is I do a full assessment because I want to make sure that I am identifying what are some of these underlying issues and treating them accordingly. So some of that may be with medication along with psychotherapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the common therapies that we use to treat whether it's depression, anxiety, trauma, or even addiction too. So that is something that we would see used with medication. And then there are certain forms of addiction that have medications that are proved specifically to treat that kind of addiction. For example, opioid addiction, alcohol addiction, tobacco addiction, that have FDA approved medication. For that. So that is absolutely something that if the patient is appropriate, I will offer them that medication. Some people are open to taking medications, some people are not open to taking medication. So my approach is I meet them where they are, because at the end of the day, the biggest thing is that they came to get help and they took that step. So I want to meet them where they are and help them to get to where they want to be. So if they're not ready for medications at this time, there are alternatives that we can try without medication, various kinds of therapy. There's 12 step programs for porn addiction. There is Sex Addicts Anonymous. That's group. You're among people who struggle with similar things and they can help you, they can be a support for you, they can help you with accountability. There are lots of positives that can come from that. One of the medications that we use often is a medication called naltrexone. Naltrexone is a medication that is FDA approved for alcohol and opioid addiction. But it's actually been used in some of the other addictions off label because we find that because of the receptors that it works on, it reduces the reinforcing effect of the addiction. So like I was saying earlier, when the substances is used or they engage in that behavior, they get the feel good hormone that spikes. And so one of the things that that medication does is, is it minimizes that spike, minimizes the reinforcing effect. And as a result, because it's not as reinforcing, there's less of a desire to continue to do it. So now this is not something, like I said, that has been fully studied in all addictions, including porn. Addiction is not something that's FDA approved for that by any means. But it is something that I use in other addiction. It's been very, very helpful. I had one of my patients that I treated, I prescribed it for alcohol addiction. And the patient came back to me and said, Dr. Asana, I took this medication and I had a drink and it was nasty. What? I was shocked. So this is something where having a drink would have been really relaxing, beautiful. Still a good thing. But in this moment, it was not a pleasant experience. Experience. And so she had less of a desire to continue drinking. And so these kinds of advancements in medication and treatment options are very, very promising and really, really helpful in the treatment of addiction. And we try to utilize it in appropriate cases when we can.

Wow, interesting. Naltrexone, we use that sometime for fibromyalgia.

Yes, the low dose Naltrexone.

Low dose Naltrex. So you would do higher dose naltrexone? Yes, for the addiction. Sometimes. I heard that's even also helpful for anxiety as well, too. Performance anxiety.

Yeah. So it's a very interesting medication. And there's a lot of research that has come up specifically for the low dose naltrexone. Like you said, fibromyalgia. There are other things that has been shown to be helpful for. So it'll be interesting to see what else comes out in the next years as more research is done on what it can be helpful for.

All right. Yeah, I'm starting to kind of find that out. So having said that, I want to bring this to conclusion, which you've delivered so much value. What are the three tips that you can give for someone to do at home if they feel that they are nearing an addiction or they're in addiction right now? If they meet those criteria, whether it's porn, it could be food, it could be drugs, it could be illegal drugs or marijuana. What are the three tips that you recommend in someone? You know what, first of all, throw it away, whatever it is, but to have to overcome it. And I see it being hard because my mom smoked her whole entire life and she died at 59. She smoked when she was 14. And I see her quit and then come back again, quit and come back, and it killed her because she had a heart attack. And I see it firsthand that I'm not a smart smoker. I mean, smoking is also an addiction too, because it does create those chemical changes. So what three things that you recommend that someone can start doing at home to kind of begin their journey of healing. And it is a journey.

Yeah, absolutely. No, that's a great question because that's the crux of it. How can we get better? We don't want to stay in this state. We don't want our loved ones to stay in the state. So. So the first thing I would say is utilize your support system. Like I said, oftentimes people hide. People hide what's going on with them. Or maybe your loved one knows that you watch porn, but they don't know to what extent. They don't know how much it's affecting you or if it's another kind of addiction. Maybe they know, okay, you dabble in this or that, but they don't know that it's gotten to a point where you can't control it and you can't see, stop. And it's causing consequences for you. So start by being open. Because when you're open to someone you trust and care about, you're able to maybe see things in a different way, have a different perspective, or they can be able to encourage you that, okay, well, you know, sounds like it's time to get help. Because sometimes for some people, it's hard to take that step on their own, right, to go and get help. But if they have a loved one, like I said, the loved one brings their partner to my office and they come together, if they tell a loved one, the loved one may be able to encourage them to take the steps that they need to do to get help. So I would say talk to someone, be open. And if there's nobody in your life that you trust, then you might consider going to a support group. Like I said, 12 step support groups are out there. They're free, lots of people, they will have things in common with you. They will, you'll be able to talk to them. And there's comfort and anonymity for some people. And they're more comfortable in that space. So that's something else. Another thing is actually to get help. Get help. Go to a professional, go to a counselor, go to a psychiatrist, go to a therapist, go to your primary care doctor. You don't even know where to find a therapist. Go to your primary care doctor and say, hey, this is something I'm struggling with. They know how to direct you to get help. Go and get professional help. Because it's challenging, it's really, really tough to do on your own. And then the other thing that I would recommend is think about healthy coping skills. Because if you take a survey of your life, like I said, it's more than likely that you have pushed out other healthy things that you used to do because you're spending a lot more time on porn or whatever the behavior is. So think about other things, other healthier ways of dealing with life. Whether it's exercise, whether it's having hobbies, whether it's spending time with family and friends, you want to really think about those things and think about how you can incorporate it back into your life.

Wow. So really getting a support system that can help support you as you go into the journey. And it's definitely not an easy thing because you're also fighting a chemical rewiring in your brain. Not only just your mindset, you have to change, but it's also this rewiring that needs to occur as well, too. So normally, how long does it take to really get treated or get out of addiction?

So it's a journey. It becomes a lifelong journey. Like you said about your mom, there are periods where she was able to stay away and she probably did did well for a while and then maybe she had a trigger and then had a relapse. So it's a lifelong journey. So you are going to learn skills on how to recognize and deal with triggers so that you can prevent relapse. You're going to learn how to set up your life in a way to where you're maintaining those healthy connections so you're less likely to go back to porn or you are addressing trauma, addressing depression, addressing anxiety, all of those things that again, can be risk factors for you having a relapse. So there's no set time. It is a journey. And so you have to have it in the back of your mind that, okay, because this is something that I've struggled with, there's always going to be a risk that I can go back to this. So I have to be vigilant. I have to make sure that I am staying away from situations that could be triggering for me that could cause me to relapse. So it is continuous journey. So like I said, one day at a time. You take one day at a time.

It's almost like weight loss. You do the right thing to lose the weight, but you still got to continuously reinforce the right thing or else you will gain back the weight if you don't. So that's interesting. In that outlook, is there a genetic component with addiction?

Yes, there actually is. So we find that people who have relative parents, siblings, grandparents that struggle with addiction, they are at higher risk of struggling with addiction as well. And addiction being the general term meaning not necessarily related to a particular substance or behavior. So could be that based on what they have been experiencing, exposed to in their life, that may be the addiction that they go with. If they were never exposed to porn, then they can't be addicted. They were never exposed to alcohol.

It's not in the DNA gene. Is it an environment, exposure or research that point, maybe this gene and the DNA that may predispose you. And I always say that your genes is what load the bullet. What you do with your lifestyle and your decisions of what pulls the trigger. And I mean, of course there's some genetic diseases. If you're born doctors, dominant or your parents both give you the genes and you have it that you can't help that. But you would almost think that there's some environmental issues along with that. So had there been any studies that come out that there may be a gene patient in the DNA or not quite.

There's no isolated gene that says that this is the addiction gene. But we do find the trends that when we have a relative that has addiction or multiple relatives, because we're seeing that happening in the family, then there's a higher risk. So like you said, it's a loading, it's a genetic loading to where you are at increased risk. That means you're more likely to. Right. If you're exposing yourself to potentially addictive substances or addictive behaviors. So that's good information for people to know. If I know that my mom and my great uncle and both my grandparents struggle with various addictions, whether it's alcohol or this or that, that it runs in my family, then I should be careful about how I'm exposing myself to things that could be potentially addicting because I am at higher risk. Like I said, it's not 100%, but I am at higher risk of it. So now when you add, okay, it runs in my family, plus I have unresolved trauma, plus I'm also depressed, plus I'm dealing with a lot of stress, guess what's going to happen? That risk gets higher and higher and higher. So when we know that there's a risk, we still have a chance to mitigate other environmental factors that could add to that risk and make us more likely to have an addiction. So that's where it comes into place. We still have agencies. We still have power. We're not a victim to our genetics. There's still things that we can do to help protect ourselves, to help build resilience to those things happening for us.

Absolutely. So having said that, where can our audience find you? Dr. Boomi Senate, and she's in Houston, Texas. How they can they find out more about you and how they can connect with you?

Absolutely. So they can go to my, my website at center for mental wealth.com I am also on social media at Boomi Asana MD Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, they can find me in all those places.

Wonderful. So, and her name is spelled. Is it Dr. Or Bumi Asana?

Umi Asana MD so b u n m I asanas a s a N A Empty.

Great. And I'll also put the link to her social media and her website in the show note as well. So having said that, thank you for being here for the last hour discussing a really interesting topic, addiction and so complex, but yet it affects so many. And we need to bring this to discussion in prime time and just take the shame out of it take the negativity out of it and start talking about because it's probably more common than we think and at least two of my family members that I know of have meet the criteria and one of them is my mom, but she no longer here. So the insight you gave us is wonderful. So thank you for being here and.

Thank you for having me.

Yes. And I'll see you guys in the next episode. Are you struggling and frustrated in finding a solution for ed? Well, I have just the thing for you. It's called the Modern Man Club led by yours truly, Dr. Ann. Together we're redefining male sexuality and embracing a holistic approach to overcoming ed. Without medication or surgery. I will provide a protective environment for a community and proven strategy to overcome ed. It is a safe place. Expert coaching by me and my team. We provide holistic approach to overcoming ED and an empowering community of men with ED supporting one another and lots and lots of educational resources. Visit mensexualityclub.com at the link here on my right and connect with us and reclaim. Claim control over your sexual health. I'll see you there.

Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men podcast. If you love this episode then please take a screenshot on your phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram or wherever you post. And be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode and what you like to hear in the future that will help me know what's great for you. And I would love to give you the most incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance quickly. Go to my website@sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to get the book the Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When Facing Ed. I would appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and just know that you can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you. Until next time.