Is Emotional Eating the Cause of your Weight Gain By Experts |

All right, here we are. Hey, good morning, good morning, good morning, good afternoon for me. Yeah, so welcome to the Food Medicine and Lies session again. And in this session, what we do is we try to bring right, accurate, scientific knowledge in front of our viewers.

Wonderful, right?

Thank you. Because what happens is that we have Google Doctor and we have WhatsApp University.

That's so true, right?

So between the two of them, I think there is a space for something like Food, Medicine, and Lies, especially during COVID times when health is becoming so, so, so very important.

Absolutely, 100%. I could not agree more.

So welcome Christine on this show. Thank you. I am very happy to see the amazing work you are doing with your clients, helping them come out of the biggest problem, especially of COVID times, and that is emotional eating.

Absolutely.

I would love to hear from you how you got into this. And what is your one piece of advice for women or men who have special women in their life to think about when they go to the fridge whenever they are in distress?

Absolutely. So first part, how did I get to where I am? How do I do what I do? Why do I do what I do? So my name is Kristen Jones, and I am from California, far, far away from where you all are. But I'm super happy to be here, honored to be here. I have been an emotional eater all my life, probably from the time I can remember, back being 7 and 8 years old and using food, food being very much a center of my family's life. I just remember food always being something that was a sense of comfort to me. I was the youngest in my family and to be totally honest, I didn't feel like I fit in and so, Food and meals became a way of feeling comfortable and fitting in. So, it was a way for me not to have to address some issues that were happening in my family that I did not feel comfortable with. So, I just used food as a way of, it became my friend. It became the thing. I was the youngest. I always got in trouble. I always got sent to my room and I finally got smart enough and realized, why don't I store some food in my room and then I won't be so alone when I get in trouble. So, I started doing that. Doing that and just, it just, I never had a really normal relationship with food. I felt like I always had to sneak food. I did not live in a, I lived in a middle-class family. We always had food. There was plenty of it, but I felt very embarrassed and very ashamed of the way I ate. So, I became very secretive about it and for the longest time, no one knew there was anything that there was anything wrong with how I interacted with food because I covered it up really well. I was really good at hiding it. I became very, very interested in fitness as I got older, and that was my way of hiding that I had this very dysfunctional relationship with food because I got into the fitness industry. So I worked out all the time so I could look normal with my air quotes, and but there was a whole lot of stuff going on inside. And so it I battled my own, what I considered my weight. Anybody else would look at me and say, you were probably too skinny. You didn't have a weight problem. In my mind, I did, and I knew I did not have a very healthy relationship with food, and it wasn't until probably about 4 or 5 years ago and 3 rounds of therapy that I finally realized that I had some techniques that I had learned for something else in my life that I was dealing with, and I kind of shifted those over and transformed them into my emotional eating. And by golly, it worked for me and it started working for other people as well. So I now share what I did, what I did for myself. I share that with my clients and I take them through the process that I took myself through. And I'm a believer that you don't ever get rid of this. You just learn how to manage it.

Very interesting, Christine, and I agree with you. And especially I see this a lot in PCOD girls and menopausal women. In PCOD girls, I see that, you know, because they're not— they don't fit in their families, or they don't— something is there in their mind which we cannot see, but that is the main reason how it all starts.

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. And even for menopausal women, I think loneliness or shifting to a different space does add it. And of course, now we have research saying that women are more affected by emotional eating.

Far and away, yes.

Rather than men.

I also think there is a lot of shame associated with it with men, that men do not want— I mean, I actually, I will say that this is really interesting, that I actually had a referral from a friend of mine. A man was supposed to contact me. I He's never made an appointment with me. He's reached out a couple times, but always backpedals. It's like, wants the help, but then gets nervous, gets afraid. So we've never actually even worked together. But definitely, there is a lot of stigma attached to it for men as well. But I think that definitely, it is more predominantly a female problem because the female body is much more scrutinized by society. Than men have.

Right. And maybe our hormones and our emotional being, the way we are made, we get, you know, into this. We need comfort, and food is the best place to get comfort.

Absolutely, because it's legal and you can't, you can't, you know, you, you can't really get in trouble. But that, that also makes it the hardest addiction to get past because we can't get rid of it.

Absolutely right. And I was about to say that addiction to food is as critical as addiction to alcohol, smoking, anything else, because it is at the end addiction, because you are not doing it when you're hungry. You are being forced to go and eat just to sabotage your emotions. Perfect. Christine, you mentioned that there were certain tools which you already had learned for something else. And now you felt that, you know, those tools helped you and your clients.

Mm-hmm.

I would request, yeah, it would be very nice if you can share those with us.

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. So I probably 8, maybe 6 years ago, I was referred by a friend who knew that I had, I was thinking about going into a business on my own, and I have my own business, but I was a formerly, I was a schoolteacher. And so I was thinking about creating a business, and she realized, my friend realized that I had some issues with money. And so she recommended that I see a— she had a friend who was a life coach, and she said, I really think you should see her for your money issues. And I was like, okay. So, and I totally knew that I had money issues. And so I started seeing this life coach for money issues, and the things that she was having me do Going back and kind of tracing and going back to where the first time was, I recognized that I felt less than because I lived in a very affluent area and my family was, did not, my family was middle class, but we lived in a very wealthy area. And when did I, when did I start feeling like I didn't fit in? And it started to make me realize, it was like, well, I didn't fit in with that, but I didn't fit into my own family either. So I start, The things she was having me do, looking back at my childhood and looking back at where things originated and why they happened, I started thinking, well, gosh, you know, and what she did, she took me through and had me kind of recreate some, not recreate memories, but just kind of change some limiting beliefs that I had that were put upon me in regards to money. I started thinking, well, I could totally do that with my emotional eating. Like, that makes so much sense to me. And so I really, I went and took myself through a process, and the process is basically going back and looking at what beliefs you have about yourself. Truthfully, when I have my sessions with my Clients, we very rarely ever talk about food. I mean, honest to goodness, we do not talk that much. Sometimes we will touch a little bit on food, but it is almost always about why we make the choices that we make. And our choices, our actions that we take are all based upon our feelings. And our feelings come from thoughts. And our thoughts are what, oftentimes what other people have given us. And so those thoughts have come from childhood and they have been ingrained in our brains and there is something automatic that we do. And so we have to go back and look, OK, where did that thought either that I wasn't good enough or I was fat. I mean, I look back at pictures of myself and I am like, how did I think I was fat? But I did. And so I really, you know, it's going back and looking at those things and recognizing where they come from, not blaming anybody, but just recognizing like, oh, that's where I got that because I, and oftentimes it comes from like a person's preoccupation with their weight oftentimes comes from when they're very young and they see their moms like, oh, I can't have, you know, mentioning like, I can't have bread or I can't have rice. And they're not saying it to their child. They are not inflicting that. They are not putting them on their kids. They are just talking about it for themselves. But as children, we see that and our parents are our heroes. I mean, we want to be like our parents. And so you think, well, that is, that is what I should do. OK, I should be worried about what I eat. I should be worried about why my pants don't fit, you know, and moms and dads talk about those things and they don't realize kids hear everything and they absorb everything. And we have to be very, especially when it comes to body image, we have to be very careful about what we, what we say and do in front of children. And so, but that's— and I always want to preface it, it's never about blaming anybody. It's never about pointing fingers at parents or grandparents or caregivers or anything like that. It's just realizing that every person who's caring for a child does the best that they can.

Oh, yes.

With the information that they have and the tools that they have. And so it's just, it's all about just making yourself more aware. And so The nice part is, is that we can change those belief systems and those patterns that we have developed over time. We know, you know, I know you know about neuroplasticity and how the brain can be rewired and we can make those changes.

So very interestingly, Christine, you know, I practice functional medicine, and functional medicine works on the why of the problem. And that's what you are saying, right? You have to get to the why. So when I take history, I actually want to know what is your family history? Were you born by cesarean delivery or normal delivery? Because that's where the gut flora starts changing, right? Right. And that's where your, you know, possibility of getting infected, your possibility of having infections and then affected brain and mental disorders and everything starts.

So it is so critical that we look at why Right, right, because you can address symptoms all day long, and that is one of the reasons why it is really, it is amazing because I have so many Clients that have lost the same weight 5 times. They have done the same 70 lbs., same 80 lbs., and it keeps coming back, and finally they are realizing like it doesn't have anything to do with the food, like there is something much deeper going on, and I always tell them, You know, I always tell my clients, it's not pretty, it's not fun to have to dig deep, but when you do and you figure it out, it's like your whole life opens up. And it is, you have to be really ready for it because it's not for the faint of heart. It is challenging and it is about really opening up yourself and really, really wanting to figure out where this comes from. But like I said, all of a sudden then when you realize it, it's like all, not just your food relationship, all the relationships change in your life.

You are so right. So I, you know, I had this patient and she came to me 104 kgs. So the way I work also is I look into whys, right? Because diet plan doesn't solve the whole thing. It is just a tool for some time, right? And most of the people come to me because they see that 80% of my patients don't gain back weight.

Ah, right.

Because I, I'm very clear on that. I tell them, see, WHO also says that you should lose 2.5 to 3 kgs every month. One reason is that if you lose too much, you will gain that or even more. And this zozo thing is such a big indicator of less immunity. Question. And why I'm saying immunity right now is—

I did not know that. Interesting.

Yeah, so why I'm saying immunity right now is because now during COVID times, immunity is that one wall which we have between our Senna and COVID, right? Right. So patients ask me, how do I know what is my immunity? Simple. If you have a yo-yo weight, check out, find why. Because immunity is compromised. So when I—

I'm stealing that, just so you know.

Please do that. So when you do that, you know, you have to work on the client's mindset.

For sure. I always say that's the first thing we have to work on. You can't change anything in your body until you change your mind.

So she was at 104, and 4 months later, she had lost 32 kgs. Without following any diet plan, but just being aware and just making sure that when she is stressed, she doesn't go to the fridge but picks up her phone and calls her mom, or sets the music up and goes for a run. Yeah, right. So only these two things. So I made her visualize this. I made her draw that this is this lady who goes to the fridge whenever she's under stress. And she used to have almost 10 to 15 episodes of stressful minutes every day.

Wow.

So imagine, right, that's huge. The moment she started running and she started calling, two things happened. One, she started exercising, she— so she started becoming fit, so she started having less cravings, right? Second, even more amazing thing which happened, and she reported back, was was, her relationship with her mom and her friends improved dramatically, right? Because suddenly the time she was spending eating cookies and chocolates, she was now spending calling that loved one, right? And checking on their health and their well-being and their financial status and, you know, their kids. So suddenly her life just changed and she was transformed. Right, right.

Because you put the focus— the focus didn't— the food was no longer the focus. It was what she could give to other people and how she could— how her life could get better. She was taking care of herself because she was not only taking care of herself through her exercise but also through her relationships.

Yes, so it was self-care. Yeah, and in a right and a sustainable way.

Mm-hmm, right.

Yeah. When this happens, you know, then you know that weight will not come back because something has transformed. A switch has been moved, right? And that's the reason, you know, what you are doing, I find that really amazing.

Well, and it's, it's interesting because it's so exciting. I actually just had a session with a client right before I came on, and we were talking about that exact thing, and she said for some reason, and we have been working together just about almost 3 months now, and she said in the last like 3 weeks, all of a sudden it is like I just care. Like, it is all of a sudden I am important and now I am really thinking about when I, if I am going to go out to dinner with somebody, I realize like, OK, so what have I eaten today? What would be the wise choice? And she is like, I am very calm. I am very rational about it. I am not Oh my God, what are my, how many calories have I eaten? She is not keeping track of any of that. She is just, how am I going to feel? What can I eat tonight that is going to make me feel good in the morning when I wake up? She said, and I have been able to do that and it is not changing and altering my life. I told her, I said, that is exactly what I want. I don't want your life to change and be different. I want you to learn how to live with food in your life.

Very important, very important. Perfect. So anything else you think that the clients can do? So today it is 7:30 in the morning here in India, right? So what is that one thing which you think you can share with the viewers what they can do to take care of their emotional eating? Just something to-do list for them.

Okay, so the first The first thing, I am going to give you a couple of things, but the first thing I think is really important is you need to be aware of your body. You need to be present in your body. So that means just because it is 8 o'clock in the morning or 7:30 in the morning in India, if you are not hungry, you don't need to eat. You need to start listening to your body. We don't need to go by the clock on the wall because so many people do that. It is like, Oh, it is 8 o'clock. It is morning. I woke up. OK, I need to eat. Regardless of, they could be full from the night before, but they are going to eat because it is morning time and then noon rolls around and it doesn't matter if they had a snack at 10:30. It is lunchtime now. I need to eat. We need to get back in touch with our actual feelings of hunger because so many people move so far away from that. So, because we can't give up food. Food has got to be a part of your life. You have got to learn how to work work with it, and the first thing is recognizing when am I truly hungry, and I'm a believer in I don't tell people what to eat. I just tell you eat what feels good for your body because everybody is different, and we know, we know what makes our bodies feel good. We tell our minds, oh no, the cupcake's gonna make me feel good. It's not gonna make you feel good. We all know that, and so we really have to make those choices of being honest about what is really gonna make our bodies feel good. So that is the first thing is reading yourself and, OK, what is my, am I really hungry? The second thing is making sure that each day, every single day when you wake up in the morning, you are grateful for waking up and for what you have in your life because so often we wake up and all we think about is what we don't have and it puts us in a negative mindset and mindset is everything. If you don't start out being grateful for what you have, you are going to make poor choices. It doesn't seem like it connects. It 100% connects. So we have to be grateful for everything that we— what we have in our lives. And so I always— I make my Clients 3 things every single morning. What are 3 things you're grateful for? And I try to— I haven't do it every day, so I haven't think back to the last 24 hours. And I can be specific, like, I found a parking spot right in the front of the— right in front of the store. It was great. You know, that's something you Even simple like that, but it is, it is amazing when you really look how many things you can find that you are really grateful for, and if you are a believer in the Law of Attraction, the more we are grateful, the more we attract. The more we attract. So that is going to bring that back. Also, that translates into self-care. When we feel good about ourselves and we feel good about what we have instead of what we don't have, we are going to naturally feel better about ourselves. Gratitude and sadness, they can't, they don't go together. They cannot exist at the same time.

They are 180 degrees apart.

Absolutely. So we cannot have those two things. So you got gratitude, you got sadness, oh, pick gratitude every day of the week. And so every morning you got to wake up. And so if you've just awakened and you're just watching this, stop and think. And I make people write it down because I used to be a teacher and there's power in writing.

Oh, in writing. So all my patients, Christine, have a small red or a pink color diary. A beautiful diary, and they either do it just before sleeping.

Yep, you can do it. That's a great way too.

You can do it at night because what happens is the moment they do that, they sleep better.

Yes, yes.

Otherwise you sleep with thoughts which have taken all your time during the day, and sometimes the sleep becomes very haphazard.

Yeah.

So for patients who don't do it at night, they have to do it in the morning But all those who do the gratitude list at night, they get up in the morning and read that gratitude list in the morning. Write at night, read in the morning, and that's how their day starts. And then they tell me, you don't have time. I say, writing 3 points doesn't even need 3 minutes. Actually, it's a 1-minute job. So yeah, if you don't have time, you don't have the intention, right? That—

and that's it. And that's another piece, is that there has to be there has to be that reason. Like, why are you doing this? Like, is it really— I got to have the time when I feel like someone's not really invested. I'm like, why are you doing this? Like, you're not doing it for me. I mean, I'm not, you know, and I, and I'm, I'm the type of coach that I'm like, I don't, I don't waste people's time and I don't take people's money. And so unless, unless I'm going to get you something out of it, and if you're not going to meet me halfway, then we don't need to work together.

Let's not do it. Yeah.

Yeah, so again, so the gratitude, the recognizing when you are hungry, really listening to your body, and then making sure that you pay attention when you are eating to stop when you are full. I think most people don't, that is probably, to me, that was always my problem. Is my meals never ended. There was never an end. You have to, you really have to think a meal has a beginning and has an end, and the end stops, and you don't eat after that. You have to have space between your meals. And so when you have a meal, you stop.

You eat and you stop, and you stop before you're full. So, Kristen, I have a very, you know, personal thing to share here with you. I got my genetic test done about 5 years back when I came into this field of functional medicine. Right? And the guy who did my test came to discuss my reports and suddenly said, ma'am, you are not fat. I said, why? He said, your genetic test shows that you don't have a gene for satiety. And satiety is that feeling of feeling full, right? Right. And he was so surprised. He said, ma'am, you would be eating the whole day. I said, yes. He said, then how come you are maintaining your weight? I said, I'm just being mindful about what I'm eating. So certain things which I've done for myself, because now I know I don't have a satiety gene at all, right? Which is—

you have to compensate.

Yeah, right. Which is as horrible as it could get, right? What I've done is I never eat when I'm watching TV. Yeah, right. I never eat when I'm doing, you know, any other activity. I keep my food aside, either stop working or don't eat. Right. Right.

And you give yourself a portion and that's what your portion is. Like, if you're serving a plate, that's what it is.

So I don't believe in calories, but the third thing what I do is I count colors on my plate. And if it has 7 colors, then I keep playing that game, which color do I like the best? Let me eat this first. Let me— so it becomes so much fun. My cortisol gets settled. A lot of time goes in, and I chew my food then a lot more times than what I would do otherwise, right? Right. So all that has helped me. So mealtime has become something, you know, very precious for me. Before this, what used to happen was I used to be eating and I used to be chatting with you, right? And when the food was over, I never knew, and then I used to take a refill. Right, because not— yeah, so now that is, that is what I don't do. I keep my food on the side and I choose, is this important or is this important?

Right, right.

And what I'm—

what I— one of the things I have my clients do is halfway, kind of, they eat— I ask them to eat half of whatever they've served themselves. Yeah, they eat half of it, and then from that point on, it's at doesn't mean they have to stop, but each time they take a bite, and I always have them take a bite, put their fork down, chew your food, talk to the person you are eating dinner with, enjoy, eat slowly, and each time after half the meal is done, each time after they take a bite, I want them to, OK, how am I feeling? Should I have another bite? Do I feel like I need another bite? OK, fine, have another bite. But you always, we need to recognize that we need to slow down and there is No crime in leaving food on your plate. And that for many people is very, very difficult because that is an ingrained thing that most people have.

That's where I started. And you know what? My brother told me one day, and now all my clients know this. I was having an ice cream and I was not able to finish it. So I requested him, can you have it? So I had gained a lot of weight post my delivery, right? And we were walking in Sector 17, Chandigarh, which is a very hip place for people who are from Punjab and Delhi would know. And this is the conversation we are having, and he says, that's the dustbin, throw it there. And I looked at him and said— and this is 20 years back, right? And I looked at him and said, do you really want to waste it? Can't you have it? He says That's the dustbin. I am not the dustbin. If you want to make yourself a dustbin, that's your choice completely, right? And that's what is my conversation with all, especially my women clients. The choice is yours and it will always remain yours. My thing as a coach or as a functional medicine doctor is to correct your beliefs and tell you That you need to now make a choice whether your body is a dustbin or you have a separate dustbin in your house.

There you go. Exactly. I've never thought, I've never had it put in that terms, but yes, it's like, it's making that choice of, is it really, is this moment more important than my long-term goal?

Oh yes.

Is it worth it? Is it worth eating that chocolate cookie? Because you know, you're not going to lose any weight that day.

More than weight, Christine, what happens is why I say this is one, it hits them hard because if this is a belief coming from childhood days, it's not going to be easy to let it go. Second, this helps in visualization. The moment you say dustbin, the picture comes in front of you. Yeah, right. And we all know that science has told us again and again and again that If we can help people visualize, absolutely right, we can actually take them much closer to their goal.

Yeah, 100%.

One question is coming to my mind, you know, is do you think doing this alone or doing it with a coach or a friend or somebody who can put you back on wagon when you fall fall off. Of the two choices, what is it that you will want to suggest, you know, which works better?

I would have to— I have to say, I mean, and I've had— I mean, I— when I knew I had a problem with food, I went to a therapist. I saw three different therapists, and my therapists were fabulous, but they didn't specialize in in eating. They didn't specialize in the emotional eating piece. They didn't specialize in, in this particular thing. And so for me, it was, it illuminated a lot of things, but it didn't address this issue. Like, this issue, I believe that this issue has to be addressed by somebody. You have to address this with somebody who, one, understands the science behind it, as well as has walked in those shoes because if a person has not been an emotional eater, they can know as much as they want from book knowledge, but if you have not lived it, you do not under— one, you do not understand the shame and the disappointment and the anguish that people who emotionally eat carry around with them. I mean, that is to me, that is, that is probably the most important thing when it comes to my, and what my Clients have told me is that, that It doesn't, and for a long time, you know, it doesn't matter that I am not overweight, and I've never been significantly overweight. In my mind I have, but it doesn't matter to my Clients. They know that I've been there. Like, I know what it feels like to not go to work because I don't want to put clothes on. Like, I don't want to leave my house because I'm so disgusted with what I've done.

With my waistline.

Yeah, and my waistline, and just how I feel about myself is just so, so bad. And so, um, and also, here's another thing. When it comes to coaching— and I'm a life coach as well— and one of the things that I've learned in my life coaching is that friends are there to commiserate with you. Friends are there to be like, oh girl, I know, oh my God, that's terrible, he said that to you, that's awful. And they're there to commiserate, they're there to be your friends. A coach is there to show you reality. And the Coach is there to, and sometimes that reality is not necessarily what you want to hear, but it is what you need to hear. So that is why we don't pay our friends to go out with us, but you do pay a Coach to be there and to be that person who says, you know, let's talk about how you are thinking about this. Let's talk about your thinking. Let's look at the thoughts that you are having, and again, For me, and I always tell, like, if I'm talking to a friend, it happened this morning, I was with a friend, she started talking about some things that were going on in her life, and I said, I am going to be your friend right now. I am not going to be your Coach because Coach Kristen is very different than friend Kristen. And so, and it has to be because you get a Coach because you want to get results and you need somebody who can be objective.

Kristen, just to add to that, what I feel is, and I have Coaches in my life despite being a Coach and a functional medicine doctor, right? And accountability is another thing which keeps you on. And I think that is one thing which actually makes a difference between you being a success and you being a failure.

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think, I think reality is that people, like, the only reason people hire a coach is— there's two reasons: motivation and and accountability. Yeah, most people— there is so much information out on Google, there's so much information. I mean, you know, yeah, we know it all. You know, there's Google and WhatsApp, you can get everything you need, but you need to have that person that is the person that's going to kind of hold your feet to the fire and be like, okay, this— and, and truthfully, the other piece is you need to have some skin in the game, and oftentimes that means you need to pay for it. And that's that. I have clients that have honestly told me, you know, I've tried this for a long time and, and I'm, I'm doing it now because I'm paying you money. And I'm like, exactly, yeah, I get that. Yeah. So, and I do the same thing. I have coaches as well.

Perfect. So thank you, Christine, for your time. And just before I leave, I will want to share one thing. So how I met Christine, as I told you, I don't have society genes. And you would have understood by now that I have been an emotional eater to the extent that I will walk down my clinic, buy a chocolate, finish the whole stuff, and come back and then think, oh, did I do this? It forced Christine to take me to the next— so I've reached somewhere, you know, I'm almost 80% on my journey, but still I thought something more is still missing. And that's how I met her, and that's how we are listening to what she does and how she learned it on her way improving herself. Thank you, Christine, for both being here with us today and obviously helping me connect with my cause better.

Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you. I'm honored to, to be here and to share the space with you. And yeah, thank you so much. I appreciate the work that you're doing. It's amazing. And Yeah, I just, I feel very much of a kinship with you.

Thank you. And remember, your, your weight is less immunity.

There you go. Absolutely. I'm like I say, I'm taking that.

Please take that. Help as many as you can, right? Thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Have a great day.