30: How to be a Kind Badass

Oh, this will be a stretch for me. How to be a kind badass. That's the question of the day. And I think it's. This is. We're going to go deep. We're going to. This may trigger you. You may want to jump off of this podcast. I'm already feeling that a lot of people, we have what is called this virus running rampant in the program of the human reality in which we're living. And that is.

Oh, I'm a people pleaser.

I love to please everyone. I love to do things for other people. And I'm afraid to say things that I really feel because I'm afraid these people will leave me.

If you relate to that, my friend, this podcast is for you. We're gonna get into the nitty gritty of how to be a kind quote unquote, badass, warrior, sorceress, sorcerer, wizard, whatever we want to call it, that is going to be this podcast. So a little bit of backstory. As you know, maybe you've heard my podcast. In the past, I was abused. I was tortured as a kid. Never was approved by my dad. Even my adopted dad, he told me that he was proud of me when I was, like, 35 years old, right? Which was a pivotal moment in time. Never was initiated by the masculine. I never. I was abandoned by my mom. I had all these wounds. I was a walking wound bucket on the planet for a long time. And I figured out a way to get results and at a very young age is just to be kind, just to be nice, just to like other people, just to be the people pleaser. And it worked out well. Till it didn't. The bitterness, the martyrment, the resentment started to build up in all of my relationships with every single person I knew because I was so in service. But there was a little piece of me that just wanted to be loved. I just wanted to be cared for. I just wanted to be taken care of on my own. I wanted the re gifting to come back to Drew's world, and oftentimes it never would. So there was a point in my life where I said, enough is enough. I'm gonna. I'm done being the victim, right? I don't know why I'm switching accents here, Forrest Gump. I'm done being the victim here, and I'm going to take my life into a whole nother direction. And that's when it happened, right? It's like I was hit by a Mack truck. You can either be hit by a feather, a Mack truck, or a wall. Luckily, mine was a Mack truck. And it came in the insight of inspiration of, hey, love doesn't have to look like this. People pleasing, kind person all the time. Love can actually be a wicked demonstration of standing for a person. It can be solid feedback. It can be motivation that comes from within. And talking to the person as if they are you. And there's no separation between you two. And you can say whatever you're feeling because feeling is more important than the word that that's actually said. People don't care about what you say. They care about how you made them feel. Right. And the people I've respected the most in my life, and maybe you feel this way as well, are the people that are unapologetic about the feedback that they're giving me. And it changes my life for the better. Can I get a finger snap? I'm waiting. You're not. Finger snap. Oh, there we go. Some of you are driving though. That's okay. So moving on. How to be a kind badass is also about standing up for a person. Love looks like not letting people get away from their soul's mission, their soul's calling. From who you. You know that they can be the bigger, brighter version of who they are. When one ship rises in the harbor, the whole entire harbor goes up. I just butchered that. But you get what I'm saying. The frequency shifts. When somebody's frequency shifts, it changes the environment and the whole entire room. So why would I leave out information if there's something that I see that's a gap in a personality, that's feedback that the person needs. Why would I not say that right and say it boldly? I'm witnessing through meditation, the ability to witness your own consciousness and your thinking. I'm literally watching myself give feedback now as the observer, which helps. I'm a projector, so this is like second nature for me. I can see myself giving feedback. And I'm watching my nonverbal communication too, because 70% of all communication is non verbal. So being a kind badass looks like feet grounded into the earth, arms open, open posture, shoulders rolled back, head up, eyes looking directly into the eyes of the other human. Giving them love. Not in an asshole, you know, way, but hey, this is what I'm seeing. And I want to let you know, first and foremost, asking if it's okay, can I give you feedback As a kind badass, I'd love to give you some feedback. This is what I'm seeing. You could even start with a. We call it a Grammy sandwich. Right? Sandwich number One, what I see in you, the possibility. Hey, I'm. You are awesome. This and that. I, I see so much potential here. You're so creative. This and that. But here's where I think there's an opportunity for growth. And then you lay that on them, right? So you start with the good, you follow up with the feedback. And I used to end with what's good, but I want the feedback to land, so I no longer do that. I'm just giving them what's in their gap and they can take it for whatever they want, right? But it shows enough that you care about somebody when you're open and willing to give a person feedback like this. Trust me. So being a con, a kind badass, is all about that, Giving the feedback to people and not holding back, right? You can have love, you can have joy in your heart. And when it comes from a loving place, because there's also feedback that comes from a passive aggressive resentment, bitter, emotional laden, I'm pissed off at you, I'm angry at you, space as well. And that doesn't really work, right? It doesn't work for where you're headed in your life. But when we come from a place of love, when we let the emotional anger leave and we come from a very sound, coherent heart, coherent place, it allows us to interchange that information more effectively. So being a kind badass is knowing when also to give that feedback. If something just happened and you're carrying around the gunny sack of resentment and bitterness and you got a hundred things in there for the past two months of living with this person and you just want to throw the bag and break it all over the floor, probably not the best time to interject some feedback. Just saying, yeah, it might cause a little bit more of a disturbance than what it's worth. So take your time, analyze it, and then lean into it. If it's uncomfortable, lean into it. If you're right at your edge, lean out on the edge, stretch yourself, because the world needs that. If there's something that you see in me and you're hanging out with me and you don't tell me, for whatever reason, lean into it and that's it. So being a kind badass is being unafraid, being bold, leaning into where your edge once was, and then seeing how the universe rewards you. We don't have time for victim response. We have time for full ownership and radical responsibility in our lives. So if there's something you're holding on to and you've listened to this podcast, call the person up make it a time. Hey, I've been holding onto this, and I just want to release it. And if they're no longer on the planet at this time, write them a letter. I did this for my father who was in prison, and it radically transformed my life. I going to dedicate a podcast to this in the future, but write a letter to that person releasing it because the energy is actually slowing you down. Like attracts like. Light attracts light. Every single human is a reflection of you. We are one. And when we're holding on to something in another human, we're actually holding ourselves back from becoming the brightest version of who we can be. Our mirror gets clouded. And if the mirror is clouded, it can't be the reflection of the divine. So release, let go. Give feedback. Have those uncomfortable conversations, and I will see you soon on the Drew and you podcast. Remember, we're in this together. Head on over to itunes. Leave a review. Check me out on Facebook, Instagram. Let's go.