64: 6 Instant Solutions To Your Feelings Of Loneliness

We can sometimes feel alone, right? Being alone. And if we think about loneliness, feeling like you're by yourself, we can trace that all the way back to one of the greatest veils that has been casted on this three dimensional plane and that is actually being separate, separate from source, separate from love, separate from other human beings. And I think this virus of separation is actually what has plagued humanity since the beginning of time. And it also allowed us to feel and cast veils on all areas of our life. Feeling like we need to consume more. I need this to feel complete. I need this to feel whole. I need to be in this relationship to feel like I'm worthy. All these external things outside of us to actually fill that veil of separation. And it's not real. We are not alone. In fact, alone. A L O N E is really similar to all one, except the extra L in all, which in L in French language is actually light. So there's just more light. And when we can remove the shadows of feeling like we're separate, we can see more light. We can see the biotonic field in all life that exists in everyone and everything and feel more connected. I know you've had those moments where you just feel so intimately present with all life and it's very grounding, it's a very neutral place to be versus feeling separate. Like you need the neediness of the ego, right? I know I'm talking to somebody out there feeling like we need this, we need that. Those are all illusions that the ego casts on our awakened reality. And when we wake up from the dream, we realize just how.

Connected we've been to everything this whole entire time. Now there are specific tangible ways to feel more all one versus alone or to get rid of loneliness. And I'm going to talk to you about some things that I do because I'm an extrovert. Like if I was to take the Myers Briggs right Now, I'm probably 80% extrovert, 20% introvert, ENFP. If you know anything about it, take the Myers Briggs. If you haven't yet, it's pretty interesting, can learn a lot from it. But because of the whole P word, the parahamak, it sounds like that's going around. It's having a pretty big impact on people. They feel loneliness. The pandemic stress has created tension in our household. It's created tension in our work environments. People are frustrated even though they have a full house. They're frustrated because they feel like they're alone. Everybody wants us to turn back to the before times when you could go out freely, you could not have to have the V in order to go into a public place like it is in some of the cities now, right? New York, Louisiana, some of the big cities.

And you may miss that. And prolonged loneliness can actually drain people emotionally, making life feel bleak, feel pointless, almost like there's a shade of gray casted upon your life. Almost like a depression commercial. Right? You've seen those commercials where there's just this lull. So what can we do to break free from feeling like we're alone?

If you're used to spending most nights with friends and loved ones, you may want to start to wind that back a little bit and really be comfortable being in your own mind. I know for me, one of my favorite things to do is actually at night take a bath and just read a good book. I don't need to be around anybody. But we've become addicted to being externally stimulated by other people, places, things, and it's definitely a struggle. So I would say most of the time in these surface level relationships that we have with even people that live in our house, what we're really craving, even though we have them around us all the time, is deep presence. We are craving communication that's beyond the mundane TikTok world. We're craving the unification of soul. We're craving the eye contact, the perpetual gaze for 20, 30 minutes of just seeing into somebody wholly fully. And that's really what we're craving. It's not this surface level communication that so many people are just ingrained in. It's a false veil and it holds us small. So how can we be the person in our house to ask those deeper, bigger questions, to actually go deep, have some revelations in our own world, in our own life, so that people can really feel us and relate to what we're bringing into the world. That authentic expression that is just dying to get out versus just the surface level conversations that most people are in. And that's what I like to do. So every meal I'm praying, I'm asking God to work in the communication that we have at the meal and throughout the day, to express dominion in my life so that other human beings can see it at that time, so that they can feel the presence of that christic energy that is within me. And I think when you do that, it's pretty powerful because the veils will start to be removed real fast and. And you'll just feel so connected. You'll feel more and more of that all one versus feeling loneliness. The relationship with God has been instrumental in my life. And that's probably the biggest one. I know I'm not alone. I know my business partner is the most high. I know that there's always an extra hand in everything that I do. It's like the old poem or the passage. I know you've read this before, but it's like there was two sets of foot in the sand. And through the trials and the tribulations of my life, it suddenly turned to one footprint in the sand. And thinking that it was us the whole entire time, what we realized it was actually God carrying us in the sand. And that's the story of my life. There's been this golden thread throughout my whole entire life where God has literally inserted himself and helped me out of situations, out of trials and tribulations. And I just know in every cell of my being that I'm not alone. I could have a conversation with a hummingbird in my backyard right now, calling it in, just asking the presence of the winged one to come in. And it'll be beyond any human language. English, which I believe is broken, right? There's a lot of brokenness in English. It's the sound of nature. It's the sound of the seven fears. It's the sound of the audible feast. That's all. We just have to tune into it. And once you start hearing that, you'll realize, my brothers and my sisters, that we were never alone. That there's a lot more going on than what the five senses can show to us sometimes. And that gives me peace, that gives me strength, that gives me comfort. So use your alone time to strengthen who you are. Use your alone time to actually go into more self discovery. What do you like? What are your morals? What are your values? Start visualizing your ideal self every day. What does the vision look like? What do you want from life? Where do you see yourself 5 to 10 years? What do you regret? What makes you proud of yourself? The deeper you ask these questions for yourself, the more you'll actually be able to ask these questions for other people and explore your own passions, right? For me, when I was a little kid, fifth grade, I remember the band teacher drove out to my house. I lived like 10 minutes outside of town in Lake City, Michigan. I was in the fifth grade. He wanted me to be in the high school band because I tested higher than anybody in the school ever. And for whatever reason, I thought that being a band nerd after I was like first chair playing the saxophone. Like in the sixth grade, I thought that football and the other Things to pick up chicks was more important.

So I gave that up. But in my adult years, I've literally explored music on a whole new level. And yeah, I have so many instruments in Sedona and here I can't say I'm really good at anything, but I definitely. God has blessed me with a musical ear and I just love it. It's just fun. It's that childlike self takes over and I just play. I love to play every day. So explore your own passions. I think that's another thing. Don't be afraid to try new stuff. New things rewire different neurochemicals in the brain and different pathways. If we find ourselves doing something over and over and over again every single day, time starts to speed up and before you know it, you're the 60 year old, crotchety old man or woman. So do something new. I'm inspired by my buddy David Lupica, who is always. He's part of the Organifi squad. He's been on the team for like eight years. And he is always doing something new. He's learning a new language, he's traveling to new lands, he's reading new books, he's stretching himself. So don't be afraid to do something new. Become a Renaissance person, right?

Another thing I like to do when I'm alone is identify what do I value about me, what do I like most about Drew, and how do I strengthen those skills? Is it my honesty? Is it the compassion that I have? The loyalty that I have in my heart for my friends is. I'm a big lover. I'm a big giver. The courage, maybe. Have I been brave this past week? Have I stood out? Have I said things that were uncomfortable to other people and had them raise up who they are? Have I expressed intelligence in a way that is beyond the normal, mundane world that we live in? Right. We can start to reflect. We can use retrospection. Retrospection actually opens up dreamtime more. The more we evaluate ourselves as the observer of our own lives, the more we can become the observer of our dreams and dream states. The more we wake up in dreamtime. You've heard me talk about this. The more we wake up in the wakened reality, the 3D reality in which we live, having a fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth and up dimensional experience, bringing heaven down to earth. But it takes retrospection. It takes being the perceiver, not the thinker in this plane. So I'm obsessed with retrospection. And there's tons of ways to do that, my friend. So we've talked about reframing it. I gave you some tips and tools to actually stretch your own skill level when you are alone pursuing your passions. We've talked about a lot, got a lot of value out of this so far. And this is just all impromptu. I'm just making stuff up for you right now. Things that I do in my life. And if you love this podcast so far, head on over to iTunes. Leave a five star review. This is going to help it get in more people's earlobes, those beautiful ears, those multidimensional satellites that we have. Another thing I do when I'm alone, my friend, or I'm feeling loneliness start to creep in is I just fill my house with music. I have Sonos speakers in every single room. If you've ever been over to my house, I'm using music, I'm using audiobooks. I'm listening to Ram Dass book now Becoming nobody. Powerful book. Ram Dass is such a badass. I love listening to his awareness, his consciousness. And I just vibe out. Sometimes I'll play music and a podcast, overlapping it, creating an emotional experience. I've been making music with my DJ Pro 1000, mixing audio and music like Alan Watts, Chill Step, that kind of stuff. So I fill my house with sound. In the beginning, there wasn't light. In the beginning, there was sound. The frequency came first. Coding, creating light codes, creating light that entered into the world. So we can use sound to heal our bodies, we can use sound to heal our minds. We can use sound to feel like we're just surrounded by a whole cadre of light beings. And I fill my house with sound all the time. I have ancient sound healing instruments everywhere. People come over, they grab an instrument. We jam out, we play, sometimes we sing, we chant, we om before dinner. And we just fill the house with sound.

So the next thing you can do is stay connected. If you're feeling loneliness start to creep in, reach out to somebody you haven't talked to in a while. Maybe an old high school friend or a college friend. Reach out to them once a month, maybe put it on your calendar. Reach out to somebody different every day. Talk to your mom and dad more if they're still around, you are blessed, my friend. Most people don't have their parents still, so reach out to your parents. I try to talk to them as often as I can, my sister. And start to look for new connections too. Go into a coffee shop, spark up a conversation with somebody. Stretch yourself if you like what somebody's talking about, maybe to a Friend in a coffee shop, go over, get their Instagram, message them, plan to meet up with them, stretch your social circle. It's gonna become more and more important to form these circle groups, these meetings of the minds to expand our own consciousness and get connected. So powerful. So this is going to help you. Even a 10 minute call with somebody you haven't talked in a while is going to take you from feeling like you're at level 10 out of 1 to 10 scale level of loneliness down to like a 3 or a 4. Sometimes the best thing we can go to is go to church on Sunday, talk to our elderly mentors, the sages, the people that are in there that have a good handle on life. Talk to them, invite them over for coffee or tea or Bible study, right? And just sit with our elder friends. They have so much knowledge and so much wisdom. And you think we feel alone. Sometimes they feel so alone. So they want to be connected with you, stay connected. I would say the next thing of. And I briefly touched base on this, which was my first point, which is reframing it and also deepening our relationships with the people in our houses or our immediate circle, is to make the most out of your interactions. I'm a big atmosphere guy, so enduring deep talks or present conversations. I love to light incense. I love to have a fireplace going. I love the hoagie way of hoagie. I think I said that right. Candles lit. I love creating a social atmosphere, playing the right music and then just asking questions, going deep, making that deep, vulnerable eye contact as if you're seeing into somebody's soul. You are asking about emotions, personal experiences, key questions, and then just being silent. Millionaires talk a lot. Billionaires ask questions. So how can you ask more questions and really listen? I love listening and then saying, you know, what I think I heard was this. So it's the Imago Dialogue, which is actually a great book by Gay Hendricks and Gail Hendricks. A mago. Use a mago on your friends. Talk about things that matter to them. Right? Lean into it. You can really start to make the most out of your conversations and get outside that loneliness bubble that you feel. One of my favorite things for getting outside of my head when I feel like I'm all alone is simply to take my shoes off and go walk on the beach. I'm about five minutes from the beach here in La Jolla, California, and one of my favorite things to do is just go stand in the sand and listen to the waves. Wash away all the trepidation, keeping it at bay. I wasn't really trying to rhyme, but apparently that did. And no joke. Being outside, being in nature can radically cleanse you from feeling like you're alone. Jump in the ocean, right? Go stand, go forest bathe. There's a reason in Japan there's forest bathing. I love walking outside in the woods naked. It's one of my favorite things to do. I don't know if my neighbors like it too much, but you know what? I don't feel alone. I'm with the trees, I'm with the birds. I'm with the sun. I'm with the elements. And I feel good. So go outside and get naked. If you're feeling up to it, make some monkey noises.

All right, this podcast is getting weird, and I like it. Let's turn up the weirdness dial. Next up would be talk to other people about how you're feeling alone. Talk to them about your feelings, you know, maybe some difficult emotions that you're holding onto about a past relationship. Lord knows I've. I'm struggling with that. I've struggled with that. So talk about it. Explore coping strategies together. Ask them for support. Far too many people aren't asking other people for help. Ask them for help. Call somebody up. It's a stretch. Ask them for help. Can you listen to me for five minutes? Can you give me some advice, maybe a little bit of feedback, how I'm handling this situation? What would you do? I look up to you, respect you, reach out, even a mentor or coach, somebody like that. Dealing with your emotions and your feelings around feeling lonely or whatever emotion is coming up is a huge thing that can loosen the grip of loneliness, my friend. Telling a loved one that, hey, you really helped me. You made me feel less emotional during a time when I was really struggling. The whole pandemic had me down, felt like I was struggling. But just talking to you once a week for 15 minutes really brightened my day, had me feel better and feel less alone.

And next up, how to get rid of that loneliness feeling is creativity. I talked about it a little bit with my music, but how can you be more creative? How can you pursue your passions, things that you're up to in the world? Maybe it's not making music for you. Maybe it's spoken word, right? Maybe it's writing. Once again, maybe you got a good fiction book in your mind that you want to write. You can find your flow every single day. Spend half an hour finding your flow every day. Build it up for an hour, two hours. Maybe eventually your whole day will just be in Flow. So what is it? Maybe buy a whiteboard and start diagramming some things that you've been wanting to invent. Create some patents, right? Maybe that's too much of a stretch. Maybe it's doing something with one of your children every day that can put you both in the flow. Arts and crafts. That was one of my favorite things to do as a kid with my mom. Arts and crafts. I felt connected. Maybe instead of watching Netflix at night with your family, you're actually playing board games, eating some really good organic popcorn, playing board games, Maybe drinking a Zevia instead of a pop. Something that can add to the waistline. Maybe it's kombucha and kale chips. Whatever it is, that sounds like a night worth remembering versus watching four hours of TV as the average American does every single day, which is crazy to me. And if you've been following me on Instagram or Facebook, you know that I have a pet. Yeah, Sage. He's the coolest dog ever. No joke. He's the little sweetest Buddha little baby. He is truly a sage in my life. And he just brings me so much joy, so many cuddles. I literally bought him this. I think it's gotta be about five and a half feet, this dinosaur, yesterday, as a toy, right? Usually I get him tennis balls and Nerf guns and I shoot things at him. Like, it's fun. Like, he's agreed that I can kind of torment him a little bit here and there. And he loves it. It's fun. He's like running around the house. I'm chasing him all over. I got him this dinosaur. It's like five foot five. And I said it in the house. He loses his mind. He thinks that this dinosaur is real, right? But literally, Sage is my best friend. We hang out every day. And if you don't have a dog, I highly recommend you get a dog. I'm also a big fan of cats. I'm also a big fan of birds, fish, pigs, maybe pygmy goats. I'm also a big fan of pretty much every single animal under the sun. But just to keep it simple, good place to start is with a dog or a cat. I love cats too. So get a pet. I think that's something that can help you big time.

And if you're still feeling alone after doing a lot of these things that I talked about in this podcast, maybe you're spending too much time on social media comparing and contrasting and analyzing where your life should be versus what other people are posting. Most people are posting their highlight Reel, my friend, that's not you. I know. Sometimes the first thing I do when I wake up is I'll scroll Instagram for 30 minutes. I'm in the feed, right? What are they feeding us? They're feeding us bullshit. They're feeding us emotions and dopamine and stimulation. That's artificial. And then we go into our real life and we're, wait a minute, where's my dopamine release? Where's the people liking my photos? The land of the narcissistic. The land of the vain emptiness. So how can we get outside of that? Well, we just take a break from social media. Look at your screen time. If it's anything over, what I would say is three and a half, four hours. We got a little bit of work to do. There's things that you can cut back on. You don't need to spend two to three hours on social media every single day. Take a break from it. Get into the real media of life. Call your mom, call your dad, Call the people that you love. Reach out to people that you haven't talked to in a while. Use those apps, write some letters. You want to talk about changing somebody's life? Write them a letter. I've been doing this for the past 11 years. I even got a little wax stamp with DC on it. I'm old fashioned, I'm romantic. I like to send people wax stamp letters, little notes, sticky notes everywhere. Super powerful thing you can do.

So also remind yourself that loneliness is not permanent, my friend. It could be something dietary, it could be something in your gut, right? Maybe you have a little parasite action. Maybe your receptors in your mind are a little bit off. There's things that you can take for that that can help you get more of those rosy colored glasses in your life. First of all, alkalizing your body a little bit helps. Getting enough prana, enough biophotonic oxygen, breathing in the light.

Ah, it's so good working out. Exercising is a huge dopamine and you get all these neuropepinephrine and these other things to the mind. I think that really helps working out with buddies. I have a little wolf pack. I work out with three, sometimes five people in the morning every single day. I think that's my big social outlet. So maybe it's setting up a workout group, something that you love and you're gonna do anyway and just incorporate some other people into it that you care about. I think that's a big thing to do. And remind yourself that this is not permanent. Loneliness can be turned into an all oneness. It can be turned into a beautiful relationship with God. It can be turned into much deeper relationships with the people that you love. But you just gotta reframe it. Look at it. Look at the opportunity. Why am I feeling alone? Where in my body do I feel this? What does this body need? And then I'll even talk to my body. Body, what do you need? Because I am not my body. You're not your body either, so talk to it. Body, what do you need? Where are you feeling it? I'm feeling it in my gut. Well, what does your gut need? Maybe you're a little dehydrated. Maybe you just need to reach out to a friend that you haven't talked to in two years. The information will come if you ask the right questions. So no need to feel lonely, my friend. Lean into this. This is the greatest opportunity of our lives to connect, stay connected, stay present. It's going to be so important to feel connected moving into the next three to six months. So get connected now. And one thing that I've done too, is I've written out all the phone numbers of people. I've got their addresses written out on paper just in case something happens. Like digital tech goes down and we have to go back to the old school way for a little bit. Not saying that that's going to happen, but maybe. So get all of it written down. Reach out to your people. Send some letters, get a wax stamp for yourself. Connect to nature. Go outside naked. Howl at the moon. Fully live. Become the wild person that you know you are in your heart. Loneliness will go away, my friend. This is only a small blip in your personal reality, your experience. I'm here with you. Reach out to me. Send me a note. I love getting notes. I love you guys so much. As always. If this was helpful, leave a review on itunes. Hit me up. Remember, we're in this together. And I'm Drew Canole. Listen, before I go to bed, I take a thousand milligrams of cbd. It's become a daily supplement because when I do take it, it increases my D sleep. I noticed a huge difference in my efficiency, my mental clarity in the morning when I do this. I've tried a lot of CBD products and some of them, you wake up, you're a little bit foggy in the head with this. It's THC free. It's third party tested. It has all the rigorous testing and everything that we need to know that it's personally one of my favorite products. And I'm good friends with the owners of this company called Soul cbd. And here's the really cool part. When you order now, you get 15% off automatically. And all you got to do is type in mysoulcbd.com drew and you're going to get 15% off and try it out. Try it for 30 days. Sleep is so important. So is optimizing your sleep. As you know, your hormones, your entire defragmentation of your body, your mind, your magnetic body, everything included into that CBD has been a game changer for me at increasing the cannabinoid receptors. I've noticed some huge improvements in my life from taking CBD before bed, so check it out.