268: You Are Many Peoples’ “Them” – Fundamental Attribution Error

Welcome to episode 268 of the Brainy Business Understanding the Psychology of why People Buy Today's episode is all about Fundamental Attribution Error. Ready? Let's get started.

You are listening to the Brainy Business Podcast where we dig into the psychology of why people buy and help you incorporate behavioral economics into your business, making it more brain friendly. Now, here's your host, Melina Palmer.

Hello. Hello everyone. My name is Melina Palmer and I want to welcome you to the Brainy Business Podcast. Today's episode is all about Fundamental Attribution error. I chose this episode because when Contributing Editor to the Harvard Business Review, Amy Gallo is on the show this coming Friday to discuss her book Getting how to Work with Anyone, Even Difficult People.

We specifically talk about it in detail.

Because it's such a prevalent problem with all interactions we have with others. If you aren't already subscribed to the Brainy Business podcast, now's a good time.

To do so, so you can be.

Sure not to miss that conversation when episode 269 comes out this Friday. Fun fact. I will potentially be chatting with Amy in person on that day because we're both speaking at south by Southwest this year.

My first time.

I'm so excited and my sessions that day, so who knows? Very Meta Today's episode is going to get into more detail on what fundamental attribution error is and how you experience it every single day at work and in your personal life. But for now, just remember that we humans are very tribal by nature. Our brains are constantly sorting people into us and them categories. And when we have people in the US world yourself, your significant other, your family, your best friend or favorite colleague, they get treated differently than those in in the them category. People who don't look or sound like you. People in a different department that's always at odds with your own. That person who made you feel dumb at the meeting six years ago. Even if you don't want it to.

Be a factor, it is.

Our brains do this, and it's important to understand the bias and how it impacts our behavior and those around us so we can properly leverage it because avoiding it doesn't work. As an interesting side note, I was looking back to share when this episode first aired, as I always like to make a note of it, and the Release date was March 20, 2020. I couldn't help but laugh, as that date had a pretty visceral reaction for me. I'm guessing it might have for you as well, and perhaps even if you are an avid longtime listener of the show.

You may have missed this one because.

I don't know, you had something else going on at that.

Anyway, it makes me doubly happy to.

Be refreshing this episode for you today because it's a really important concept and it deserves to be heard about and understood really quickly. Before we jump back into that episode.

I want to remind you that your.

Free Fundamental Attribution Error worksheet and links to past episodes and books and articles are all waiting for you in the show. Notes for this episode, which are found within the app you're listening to and@the brainybusiness.com 2688 all right, let's talk about Fundamental Attribution Error.

This is another example of a behavioral economics concept with a not so great name similar to my choice to call Hyperbolic Time. Discounting the I'll start Monday effect, Fundamental Attribution Error is one where I think we can benefit from a simpler name. I like to call this the Pot Kettle phenomenon. You might be able to tell from that name a little bit about how this particular concept works, but here's the simple explanation and then we'll get into the details. If you've ever heard the phrase that's like the pot calling the kettle black, we're basically talking about Fundamental Attribution Error. When you use a different criteria to think about yourself and how you are acting, then you use to think about and judge others. A classic example of this is when driving. Have you ever had someone cut you off while you're driving on the freeway? Very likely you had an animated angry response and took no time to automatically label the other driver as a jerk or other not so nice word. And that label would go far beyond the single action they took. If you met them later, you would likely think of them as a worse person and have that negative experience bubble over into other areas of their personal if you pulled up next to them, you might yell or flash a special hand gesture their way. You might even do this to their face and feel justified in it because they were bad. Now, have you ever cut someone off in traffic and how do you feel about yourself? Do you have a whole backstory for why it was okay you were going to be late and miss your exit and might get fired? Or was it that other guy's fault for not letting you in? And at the end of the day you don't think about it too much because you are a good person when thinking about yourself. You know this was a one time thing that you had to do. Very out of character. Perhaps or otherwise justified because you did some other good deeds that day. You are good even when you cut someone off in traffic. So why are they labeled automatically as the world's biggest jerk? It's because of fundamental attribution error and thus my name of the pot kettle phenomenon. We also see this when you think about characters in movies and who's labeled as good or bad. The best example that I have come to mind for me is the wizard of Oz. And in the wizard of Oz, the wicked witch is the worst person. She's bad. And Dorothy and Glinda and everyone is good. But then if you have read the book Wicked or seen the Broadway musical.

Which is is one of my favorites.

You see, that's the story of Elphaba and her life and how she became the Wicked Witch and labeled as such. And when you hear the story from her point of view, you feel empathy for her. You like her, she's part of the in group. Whereas in the other side, you feel empathy for Dorothy and Glinda and Elphaba. The Wicked witch is bad. So that shift in story and the motivation and understanding more about them makes you feel better about them overall as a person. And you don't have that automatic immediate response. So here's the difficult part. If you know this to be a truth of the way the brain works, you can see that you do it yourself, and more often than that, see others doing it and feel you're being treated unjustly. And it's done often enough to be a common saying of the pot calling the kettle black. Why can't we stop ourselves from doing this? And why don't we realize how often it's impacting our personal and relationships? Well, the first thing this does is help to showcase that even when we know about the rules our brain uses to make sense of our surroundings, it doesn't mean we can change them or reset them, so to speak. I've used the example of trying to tell your brain that apples will no longer be associated with the color red. It simply doesn't work. In thinking fast and slow, Kahneman gives some great visual examples with those optical illusions we've likely all seen at one point or another. There's the one where there are two parallel lines with arrows on both sides. In one case, the arrows point inward, and on the other line they point outward. There is a line that clearly looks longer than the other because of the arrows at the ends, but you know it's a trick of the eye and that they're actually the same size you could see this and proudly say they're the same. I don't fall for that trick. Well, the thing is, even though you know that they're the same, you can't make it so your brain sees them that way. You have to use your conscious processing over the top of the thing your subconscious wants you to believe. You still see the lines as two different lengths, but you have decided that's wrong. No matter how many times you do this, you'll probably always see the lines as different because of the way your subconscious rules are written. It's the same with the pot kettle phenomenon. In many ways your brain is biased to think of you itself as different and better than others, especially people who are not like you. It does this. We don't have to like it, but it's true. And part of the rules I've linked back to the episodes on personal biases and those about others episodes 45 and 46 in the show notes. If you want to go back and listen to those or read up on their show notes as they have a whole bunch of biases listed out that contribute to this. The good news is that you don't have to let that immediate reaction form a lasting impression of someone else. And if you put in a little effort, once you understand the brain process, it can make all those relationships at work and in your personal life a little more pleasant. I gave the cutoff in traffic scenario earlier, and while that's a very common experience and therefore easy to relate to, it's not the only time time this happens. It's going on much more often than you think in the workplace. Think about someone who shows up late to your meeting. What is your immediate thought about them? Assuming they aren't your best friend or a close peer, you likely think, ugh, he's so rude and disrespectful. This can then combine with the focusing illusion which we covered in episode 89 so that you only notice times where the person in question is doing things that are rude and disrespectful toward you or the team. Your confirmation bias helps you validate it over and over again if you aren't careful. What if you were late for a meeting? Do you see yourself as rude and disrespectful? Do you think others see you that way? Or do you think you're oh, sorry I'm late, I got stuck on the phone with a client Story is enough to make them not see you as rude or disrespectful? Well, think back to the original person who was late. If he had said sorry, got stuck on the phone with a client, would that make you think any differently about his lateness? In many cases, probably not. You would say he was a poor planner or had bad time management, or that he was probably on the phone late with that client because he started late because he's always late. The big difference between the way we see others and how we see ourselves is the intrinsic story compared to the extrinsic story. I talked about these a Little on episode 67 on how to get and stay motivated. Intrinsic is internal, internal and extrinsic is external and in this case it has to do with the background of what led to the situation at hand. It's attributes which is how we get to that fundamental attribution error. If someone's personality or their disposition led to the lateness, it is intrinsic or internal attribution. If it was due to the situational factors, it would be external or extrinsic. I found a really great explanation of this on psych study which I'm going to go ahead and read for you now and the full article is linked for you in the show Notes Sheila failed her final exam. Rita automatically assumes that the reason is Sheila's inability to study because the attributions involved in the explanation are internal Sheila's personal issues. It's an example of dispositional or internal attribution. Likewise, Sheila explains that the reason for her failure was because the questions were difficult rather than her inability to answer them. She blames the situation rather than herself. This is an example of situational or external attribution. If you blamed Sheila's inability to study to her personality then you have made the fundamental attribution error. In general we're much more likely to say that others internal attributes, their personalities led to their bad behavior, while we see ours as being from external situational circumstances. They can't get through their to do list because they're lazy. I can't get through mine because people keep asking me to do other things or have too many projects on my plate. She sat in my favorite spot deliberately so I couldn't get facetime with the boss. When I sat in her chair last week it was because I needed to leave early and didn't want to be rude. He turned in his expense report late because he thinks he's special and better than everyone else. When I turned in my paperwork late last week it was because my kid was home with the flu while I could go on and on. I won't pretty sure you get the concept so if you want to change the way you react to others and to have less instances of the pot kettle phenomenon, here are the steps I recommend. First, decide you want to work on this and understand why it's important to you. 2. Choose an initial group or person to start the process with. 3. Reframe your in group. 4. Consciously adjust to extrinsic attributes for 30 days or a decent number of total interactions and 5 move to the next group. Easy enough steps in theory, but it's important to realize that we humans do this all the time, and I mean all the time. Our brains are constantly trying to preserve their opinions of themselves by justifying our own greatness with external context. In that first step of deciding you want to work on this, that's important because it will take some dedication to retrain your brain, just like with anything else. As I say, with all the goals we talk about here, having too many means you will not accomplish any of them. If this is going to be a priority, it needs a reason to be, one that you can rely on when the going gets tough. Your brain likes its rules, so it will want to revert to its old ways and will succeed if you aren't careful. What are some reasons you might want to change this and it's worth being a top priority for you? You may know if you're someone who is constantly quick to place a them story on others and that intrinsic explanation for all the bad stuff going on, but it's also possible you don't realize how much this is impacting your relationships. If you've been passed up for a promotion or been told you aren't a team player or feel like everyone is constantly out to get you, fundamental attribution error could be a culprit. This could also impact personal relationships. Whether it's with someone you used to be close to and now hold a grudge against, or your in laws or whatever. Better relationships with less stress are another great reason to focus on this process. It's also important to remember that fixing your mindset on the way you think about others is about your choice. You can't change them or their responses to situations. And sometimes it's not a fundamental attribution error. Sometimes people might actually be being kind of a jerk. But if your measuring stick for whether this has worked or not is only about other people and how they treat you moving forward and them changing their behavior, that's gonna be hard to accomplish. I can tell you that if you change your us versus them mentality, it can have a positive impact on the way others react and interact with you, but it's not a guarantee. Try to make the goal about your own mindset toward others and think about others reciprocating as a possible bonus but not the main motivation. Once you've decided this is worth focusing on for you and you have your goal for why it matters, the next step is to pick a group to start with. Because we see our in group as an extension of ourselves, we can extend this benefit of the doubt mindset to those who are like us. As I said earlier in the episode, if your best friend was late for the meeting, you wouldn't have the same automatic negative reaction as you would for someone whom you already don't like, or someone who you perceive as different from yourself or someone new. If someone is always on time to meetings and then late once, you're more likely to give them benefit of the doubt because you know some things about them, unless you already thought they were disrespectful for some other reason and your focusing illusion was having you just waiting for the validation that they were late. But the point here is you don't do this to anyone, everyone, every time. So if you know what makes you think that way and who is in the in group and who's in the out group, you can look to expand that in group so you can be less biased overall. Let's say you work in a large company and you interact mostly with your own department. You have an us against them mentality. For whatever reason they're trying to steal budget or glory or whatever has been talked about within the group. Your department is your tribe and you would defend them till the end of time. Even if they were lazy or disrespectful of other teams, you wouldn't really see it or think it was intrinsic because they're an extension of you. So what if you opened up who you considered to be part of the in group? Maybe instead of identifying as the accounting department or marketing department or sales department, you're all employees of XYZ Corp. When you broaden the circle of the in crowd, you start to see everyone in a better light. And while you might not notice it until you start to open up, it can greatly impact all of your working relationships in the in group perspective shift. It will take a little time at first where you have to consciously remind yourself to not have an us versus Them mentality. And this is the next step. Don't be too hard on yourself when your brain goes there first for a while. You've trained it over a long period of time and series of interactions to think this way. And for the first several interactions it will be a slower, more manual process that is okay and absolutely expected. You can combine the focusing illusion with your intent to decrease fundamental attribution error in a positive way now and choose to focus on different attributes for at least 30 days. And this isn't a hard and fast rule, it's more about having some sort of mile marker so you can keep doing this until it becomes a habit pushing through the hard times. But if you interact with the group in question only once a month, then 30 days might not be enough. You need enough times to where it starts to become the new habit and replaces the old one. However, just because you only interact with them personally once a month, it doesn't mean that that pot kettle phenomenon is only presenting itself in those physical meetings and interactions if it's ingrained in something you need to work on. Consider all the times you think about that group, person or department that you're focusing on here. Let's say it's the marketing team. You interact with the idea or concept of the marketing department and assign a fundamental ATT error more often than you probably realize. That association runs deep Every time the marketing department email address is cc'd on one that you're included on. When you pass someone from marketing in the hall or see them in the lunchroom. When you see a new advertisement being launched or pass a company's billboard. Maybe when you walk past their department on the way to meet with hr. When you see an article about branding or marketing initiatives, if one of their names is mentioned, even if it's completely out of context or a different person with the same name, it can bring up those negative vibes, conquering your fundamental attribution error. To have better relationships with the marketing department means every time you have one of those automatic responses of yuck, you need to check in with yourself and say, wait, we're on the same team, they're part of my in group or whatever framing works for you. And then think of something positive about them to replace the negative yuck feeling you had initially. Yes, it's challenging at first, and I get it. I've been through this. I've used these steps myself multiple times to let go of anger that I had held onto for sometimes a very long time. And this is when you need to remind yourself why you're doing it, why it's important to you to maintain the discipline over the 30 days and all those interactions. You keep focusing on it until it becomes the new norm and starts to be automatic. One other recommendation I have for you is to not use the same good thing about them every single time. If you only have one positive thing, it's going to wear out eventually. When you force yourself to look deeper for positives, it can help round them out and build that extrinsic story. If you were part of the original wizard of Oz story and people were to say that the Wicked Witch of the west was really nice, if you would just pay attention and they said one nice thing about her over and over again, it's not going to change and build out that story. You have to really understand where she's coming from from a young age in her home life and how difficult it was and her sister and school and all these other things that build her into this holistic person. And yes, in case you notice, this might mean getting to know the people in the department as actual people to find other ways you relate to them and can bring them into the in group the easiest way to see someone as your in group is to find ways you're similar. Do they have a kid the same age as yours? Do they like to travel? Do they like the same restaurants? Or did they grow up in the same town? Like the same sports or games or binge watch the same shows? When you seek to find the similarities, you'll find something eventually and that's it. Once you've completed the process with the first group, you can move on to the next one. And the good news is this should get easier over time. And even though you're consciously starting with one specific person or group, my guess is as you start looking for positives and the way you relate to other people, it will have a positive ripple effect and brand branch out to other groups and meetings as well without you even trying and earlier than you might have expected. Don't restrict yourself to only be more open minded toward the specific group you're focusing on though this is one area where you can double down and see way more benefits. I've linked to the episode on Gratitude to help show how this can multiply and bring more happiness into your life. I gave the tip of starting with one group to begin with to get the ball rolling, but once that snowball starts, do what you can to add on and add on. As a reminder, here are the five steps again and you can find them on the free worksheet for this episode. Step 1 Decide you want to work on this and understand why it's important to you. 2. Choose an initial group or person to start the process with. 3. Reframe your in group. 4. Consciously adjust to extrinsic attributes for a decent number of total interactions. A good rule of thumb could be to focus on this for at least 30 days and then once it becomes a habit, you can move to the next group before closing out the episode, I want to talk a little about the flip side of the pot kettle phenomenon. We talked about shifting your own mindset toward others, and it's important to look at your own behavior the way others do as well. If you are notoriously late to meetings or turning in paperwork or responding to emails, or even if you constantly cut people off in traffic, try to stop writing an extrinsic story for why it's okay. If someone else did that thing, what would you think or say about them? I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, it's more to help improve the overall experience and complement your efforts in seeing the extrinsic for others. Try to balance that by seeing some of the intrinsic attributes for your own story. This can help you to see how a story can shift to be in favor of those around you, because you can flip the opposite side of the story you were giving for yourself, and it might help to show you're trying to improve your own performance so others are more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt and see you as part of their in crowd as well. But remember again, that's a potential added bonus versus a reason to move forward with this.

So what got your brain buzzing as you learned about fundamental attribution error today? For me, I really love this concept and always talk about it when I train corporate teams about change, when giving.

Keynote speeches on change, and being a.

Better manager when I'm working with small business owners, you name it. I'm probably bringing this up because it's so central to having better relationships with anybody. When you understand how your brain is sorting other people and treating them differently and how you are many other people's them, it can really help you to adjust your own behavior so you can have better relationships at work and in your personal life. Looking to expand those circles of empathy, something Gleb Supersky spoke about the first time he was on the show, and understanding how personal affiliations can impact brand loyalty. Something I talked about with Matt Johnson the first time he was on the show, as well as how it impacts our relationships. Like Dominic Packer and I talked about when he was here, all the way to this coming Friday's episode with Amy Gallo on her book Getting Along. There are so many examples of fundamental attribution error and how understanding it will make you happier and improve relationship and all the things.

And of course you know it has.

A big focus in my book what your employees need and can't tell you, which is all about being a better manager and leading others naturally through change. There are links to all those past episodes and books and articles mentioned throughout the episode, along with your free Fundamental Attribution Error worksheet all waiting for you in the show notes atthebrainybusiness.com 26 and just like that, episode 268 on fundamental attribution error is done. Join me Friday for a brand new episode with contributing editor of the Harvard Business Review, Amy Gallo to discuss her book Getting Along. It's going to be a lot of fun. You don't want to miss it. Until then, thanks again for listening and learning with me. And remember to be be thoughtful.

Thank you for listening to the Brainy Business podcast. Molina offers virtual strategy sessions, workshops and other services to help businesses be more brain friendly. For more free resources, visit thebrainybusiness.com.