#025: Tap Your Network: How to Get Business Through Friends, Colleagues and Relatives

Welcome to the High Income Business Writing Podcast, helping you propel your writing business to a whole new level. And now, here's your host, Ed Gandia. Hello. Hello everyone, and thanks for joining me for episode number 25. I can't believe it, 25 already? That's pretty amazing. Episode 25 of the High Income Business Writing Podcast. And I am your host, Ed Gandia. And this is the podcast for business writers and copywriters who want to take their writing businesses to the six figure level or the part time equivalent. As a reminder, you can find detailed show notes of this episode by going to b2b launcher.com Episode 25 the number 25 in this episode. It's just me, my friends, it's just you and me. Here we are bonding and we're going to talk about a very important topic which is tapping your own network, tapping your personal network, tapping your professional network to get business. And by network, I'm talking about friends, colleagues, and even relatives and people you just met in some cases. I found that one of the biggest untapped prospecting opportunities is our own network or series of networks. And considering how extremely valuable these networks are, I'm amazed at how few writers are willing to tap these networks. And I guess I'm not terribly surprised when I look a little deeper and I probe and I ask people, well, why do you hesitate? Why don't you want to go there? Why don't you want to approach the people who already know you? I've been kind of keeping track of these things because I've been asking this question more and more lately. And the reasons really boil down to one of six different reasons. Sometimes it's a combination of these, sometimes there's others that at first don't appear to be one of these, but really they fall into one of these six categories. Let me give them to you. And I'm going to address each of them in a little bit more detail. So I'm going to talk about that today in this episode, and then I'm going to talk about why you need to kind of have a different outlook towards tapping your network. And then how you can develop a little bit better and greater confidence when approaching people who already know you. And how you can do this in a way, how you can talk to them about your business in a way that will not only resonate with them, but will also help them understand your value and make them be more prone to maybe referring you to someone or possibly even giving you business themselves. Now, when I talk about your network, there is one Category of people that I'm not going to touch on today because it's kind of a given that you would be approaching these folks anyway. And I'm talking about people who are directly in your business. So other writers, let's say freelance designers, other types of freelancers and businesses that you would normally approach anyway. So that's kind of a given. You're going to be contacting those people or I hope you are and I hope you're willing to do that today. I'm going to be talking about people who you normally would not feel comfortable approaching. And so anyway, it's going to be a maybe a brief discussion. We're not going to spend a ton of time on this, but I'm going to go a little bit deeper into these issues and I'm going to give you some really important research that will hopefully change your mind about why need to approach people who already know, like and trust you. All right, so lately when I've been asking freelance writers about approaching their network, as I mentioned, there are six reasons why they hesitate and kind of group these into, well, those six categories and I've given them names. One of them is fear of rejection. Number two is sounding stupid when they approach them, which I guess, you know, there's an overlap. Actually there's going to be an overlap among these, but right. There's fear there as well. And sounding stupid. Number three is mixing business in pleasure or mixing business and friendships. A lot of people have some hang ups there. Number four, the whole thing of awkwardness. It can just be awkward to approach friends and relatives about your business. It feels a little bit too much like network marketing, that kind of thing. Number five, the belief that there's no value in reaching out to these people. Gosh, they don't even understand what I do for a living. Why would I even approach them about getting some referrals or looking to see if maybe I can explain it better so they can hire me directly, that kind of thing. And finally, number six, just not knowing how to explain what you do to a layperson. You really don't have a very good way of explaining it or at least explaining it to people who just are so far removed from your business that you fear they would not get it. Now, first of all, I got to tell you that none of these are true, or at least they don't have to be. They are true if you believe they're true or if you're not prepared to address these issues. But if you're prepared, if you can really address these Head on. I think you can overcome most of this and start approaching people in your network and do it in a way that's sincere, authentic, that doesn't feel weird, and in a way that where they'll understand what you do, why you're approaching them, and where you can add value and what type of people they might be able to refer you to. So let's address each of these in a little bit more detail. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on each, and then I'm going to give you some practical ideas. So the rejection bit, you know, the fear of rejection, you know, here's. I guess I need to just say this. Look, you need to get over that. I think this fear of rejection thing, I totally get it, okay? I think we all have fear of rejection at some level. And in certain situations, I certainly feel this fear in certain situations. I think I've conditioned myself and trained myself out of fear, fearing rejection in many aspects of my freelance business. But I certainly understand it because I felt this early on in my freelance business, and I still have that fear of rejection in other areas of my life. But I found that at some point you just have to start getting over it. And one way you do that is you start telling yourself a different story about the value you provide. I'm going to be talking about that a little bit more in depth here in a minute, but I think many of us just are not entirely comfortable with what we do for a living and how we do it and whether or not there's real value there. And in many cases, we don't really know other people or have other friends and relatives who are freelancing themselves. We might be the only ones. So it's just a little awkward to approach people because we fear that we're approaching them with something that's just so alien to them that we're just gonna get rejected. And nobody wants to get rejected because we take rejections personally. And I think that's another key point. Don't ever take a rejection to mean that they're rejecting you. When people reject or say no, the rejection is really about the request you made. Rarely does it have something to do with you, the value you provide, who you are as a person. So I know it's easier said than done, but you do have to get over it. And a lot of that, again, has to do with the story you tell yourself about the value you provide, what you do, and how much you're worth. So rejection will always be a part of life and a Part of your business. I think it's just. You just got to get used to it and not take it personally. It's just a rejection of the offer. So the question is, can you improve that offer? Can you improve the requests and the quality of that request? And the answer is yes, and we're gonna be talking about that. The second reason, the fear of sounding stupid. Again, very similar to fear of rejection. But I found that you can avoid this if you practice communicating your requests and practice communicating who you are, what you do, where you add value and so forth. And here at the end of this episode, I'm going to give you a practical suggestion or an exercise that you can do that will. That will help in this area. Sounding stupid. That fear is only valid when you haven't prepared, when you're not really sure what you should say or how you should say it. So here again, that's something you can overcome. The third fear or reason is this idea of while you shouldn't mix business and pleasure or business and friendships. And, you know, I used to believe that. But here's the thing. People do this all the time. I mean, let's say that you're talking to a new neighbor. Somebody moves in a couple houses down, and, you know, you meet them when they're not getting their mail and you're walking your dog, and you strike up a conversation, you welcome them to the neighborhood, and suddenly they somehow it comes up that they own a bakery in town. This new neighbor, he owns a bakery, and he tells you that. And I have to ask you, would you be offended that here you are trying to get to know this person and, you know, having a lively conversation, and he suddenly brought up the fact that he owns a bakery. No. Right. I would be very curious. Wow, really? Which bakery? You know, and what do you guys do? What type of bakery? When are you open? What do you specialize in? I would be intrigued. Now, that's a perfect example of mixing business and friendship. Why would I be offended that he brought it up? You know, or, gosh, I'll even take it one step further. What if he maybe another time invited me over to, I don't know, some cupcake tasting they're doing in his bakery? Obviously, they're doing something like that. They're doing this or giving free samples to get business. Would I be offended? No. You know, the point here is this is probably a bad example, but I think, you know, where I'm going with it is people mix business and pleasure all the time. And I think this idea that you know, we shouldn't do that is. I'm not really sure where it comes from, but I don't think it's very healthy. Now, there's a wrong way to do it, there's a right way to do it. And I think many times people have this idea and it stems from bad examples that they've seen out there where, for example, some abrasive personalities, who, you meet them and right away the first question they ask you is, what do you do for a living? You know, there's a better way to do that, right? There's a better way to handle those things and to right away get into a person's business life, you know, so anyway, you have to get over that belief. People do this all the time. We actually do this ourselves all the time. We accept it all the time. But for some reason we've developed this thinking. Here again, it's a story we're telling ourselves that we shouldn't mix it in. And here's the thing, the people in your network know and trust you. They know like and trust you. So why wouldn't you mix it in? Now you have to sound confident about what you do and the value you provide. And again, this is something you can, you can work on, that you can prepare for. All right? Reason number four is just, it can feel awkward, right? It's just, oh gosh. But approaching people, I know that just, I don't know, it sounds, it just feels awkward. Doesn't feel right. Here again, I think this is, this is all, this is not reality. This comes from years of conditioning about what makes a legitimate profession. That's what I found. I think a lot of us didn't grow up in families where our parents were entrepreneurs or freelancers or self employed micro businesses, whatever. And everyone in our family for generations has, has worked in a traditional setting. They've worked in a factory, they've worked in a mine. They've worked, you know, in a, you know, the medical profession or whatever. And this has been the way, this has been the model that we grew up in and kind of being on our own and especially for freelance writers because, right. We're not producing something tangible. Many times we're creating words, or at least that's the way it appears to other people. You just like typing. It doesn't feel real. And I think subconsciously when we internalize that and we are subconsciously telling ourselves that this is not legitimate and this can especially create some conflict once we start earning a really good living doing it. Okay, so right at first it already feels a little awkward. It's a little odd. Everyone, you know is kind of looking at you with a little bit of disbelief that you're actually making money doing this. And then you start making a really good living. And that can create some, some conflict. So I think part of it is just understanding that, look, what we do for a living is very legitimate, it's very valuable and we need to believe that and we need to see that and we need to remind ourselves of that. So, you know, part of it can, can involve or require that we interact and we network with other freelance writers and that we talk about these issues and just kind of hang out with more people who make a living this way. They don't have to be writers. It can be micro business owners, entrepreneurs or what have you. Once you believe in what you do and the value you provide, this whole awkwardness becomes a lot easier and you have to just remind yourself that you're providing a top notch service for which there's a real need. This is not network marketing or selling, you know, Mary Kay. And no disrespect to Mary Kay people, but I think that's another reason why we might feel awkward. We've seen other people try to make a living doing, you know, selling makeup or soap or anything like, you know, through their friends. And, you know, that's tough. I did that, I did that in college and it was very, very difficult. I, I wasn't confident in what I was doing and I lost a lot of friends and I lost the respect of a lot of people I knew. And so in my case that's kind of been drilled into my head is, you know, I'd never want to do that again is approach people I know. But I had to remind myself a few years ago that that was different. What I'm providing now I really believe in. There's a real value associated with this and there's a real demand for what I'm doing and I'm very, very good at what I do. I urge you, if this is something you struggle with, I urge you to check out episode 22 of this podcast. And that's where I talk a lot more about developing greater self confidence. And I hit on some of these points in greater detail. And you can get there by going to b2b. Launcher.com Episode 22 Another reason is this idea of thinking that there's no value in reaching out to people we know in. You know what, I will admit that here's another area. I actually used to believe that, well, gosh you know, Peggy, she doesn't really understand what I do for a living. I don't think there's really any value in talking to her about this and seeing if she knows someone who she could refer me to because, you know, gosh, she's already having a hard time understanding what I do anyway. And there's been some research that's come out lately, and it's some very, very powerful research that shows that dormant and weak connections in our network are actually much more powerful in many cases than our strong connections. So in other words, the people who we probably dismiss because we think, well, gosh, we haven't talked to them in years, or I don't know them that well, or there's not really. This is someone who really wouldn't understand what I do. Those people tend to deliver the best referrals in the long run. And there have been a few studies that have come out. And I came across this recently. I'm going to include a link to the article where I. Where I found that in LinkedIn. Actually, a coaching client of mine sent me a link to this. So props to Larry. Thanks again, Larry. This is really, really cool information. So one of them is a study by sociologist Mark Granovetter, and he found that people were 58% more likely to get a new job through weak ties than through strong ties. Now, of course, he was talking about a job, but, you know, I think you can substitute freelance work or freelance gig for job. The fundamentals remain the same. So the question then is, well, how could acquaintances be more helpful than good friends or than people who already are in our business and understand. And you can read more about it in the article. But his argument was that when you reach out to people who are maybe the ties are weaker, there's less redundant information that they can give you. Or in terms of the referrals they can give you, they basically work and play in different circles. Therefore, the chances are greater that they can send someone to you who would be kind of a fresh contact or have fresh ideas or be more receptive to what you have to offer. This article also talks about dormant ties. So the article talks about weak ties and dormant ties. Weak ties is you don't know them very well. Dormant ties are actually people used to know very well, but you haven't been in contact in a long time. And the article says that, look, these are very, very powerful contacts because just like weak ties, dormant ties offer new information. So in the years since you last communicated with these individuals, those people have connected with new People, they've gathered new knowledge, they've developed new friendships, businesses, perspectives and so forth. And unlike weak ties, these dormant ties also bring the benefits of strong ties. So again, they used to know you very, very well and it's just you just haven't been in touch for a while and that's fine. So don't overlook both of these. I will tell you, I've seen it in my own business, in the business of many of my coaching clients. And I'll just give you one example. One of my, actually my longest running client, and they were my client for seven years, came to me very early on in my freelance business. I was taking friends and colleagues out to lunch or coffee and my whole my thinking was, look, I want to take these people out because I'm not sure if I can help them or they can help me, but I want to talk to them a little bit about how we can help each other. I want to explain the new business that I'm starting as a freelancer and see if maybe there's an opportunity. And most of these didn't really turn into anything for me. But one in particular, this was a lady that actually I didn't own that relationship. She was a friend of my wife's, she used to work with my wife. I hadn't talked to her in about four years at the time that I contacted her. But we had a great quick conversation over the phone. We agreed to meet for lunch. I explained to her what I did and she said, look, I don't think I can help you right now, but let me keep my eyes and ears open. Let me do some digging around and see if I can, you know, refer you to someone. Well, she did. A couple of weeks later she referred me to a friend who then referred me to a friend of hers. So now we're like 2 degrees removed, right? And no, actually 3 degrees separated. So my friend, who's actually my wife's friend, referred me to her friend who then referred me to this, to this friend. And this person, the final contact was a VP of marketing at a software company. We had a good quick conversation, he asked me to come in, we had a meeting in his office and I walked out of there with a fifteen hundred dollar project. And again, this account turned into a very, very strong, my longest running client ever. I estimate that I earn between 150,000 to $200,000 over that seven year period. And here you go again. This was a weak tie. And not only that, but it was a weak tie. And the client ended up being several degrees away from my main connection there. So you never, never know. Now, the final fear or the reason why many of us don't reach out to people in network while we don't tap our network, knowing how to explain what we do in a way that they can understand. And my solution for that, and this will be the last thing I'll leave you with, is to develop a series of what I call layman's value statements. So I'm a big believer in developing a value statement, which is essentially kind of an elevator pitch, if you will. But that demonstrates value. Okay, I just have a different definition for it. So you develop your own value statement or series of value statements. But I believe in having in your pocket two or three variations that would work well for someone who's not in your business, in your industry, someone who wouldn't understand your value statement or your elevator pitch if you. If your standard one, if you told them so. So what you want to do is have. In my opinion, you should have three different versions. One should be for an industry contact or insider. So this is kind of your main value statement or elevator pitch. This is one that's got the insider lingo. This is the one to use with people who already work with freelance writers and understand what you do. Then you should also have one for someone who's not in your business, but they're savvy enough in terms of business overall that they would quickly or easily get or understand what your value is if you explained it a certain way. So one example I thought of was, let's say you're a real estate agent. She's not in marketing. She's not a freelance writer. She may not even know a freelance writer or even understand that people actually make money or make money doing this. But she's savvy enough or he's savvy enough that they would understand what you do if he explained it well. And then you should have a third one in this version would be the one you'd use for someone who's completely removed from your business in anything related to sales or marketing. So let's say you have an uncle who's a math professor at a local university. That would be the one you'd use for him or her. Okay, so let me give you some examples. Now, I drafted these very quickly, so please don't take these to be, you know, outstanding value statements. These are just hypothetical. And the whole idea here is to show you the contrast between these. So for an industry insider, your value statement might be, I work with software companies to help them write the marketing and sales content that they don't have time to write internally. Unlike many freelance writers, I bring a software industry and sales background into every client engagement and that allows me to deliver copy and content that speaks directly to this discerning audience. Definitely for an industry insider, which makes sense. But then, you know, would, would somebody who's not quite in your business or your uncle who's a math professor, would they understand that? I think they would understand certain aspects of it, but what they're missing is really some context. So what you really want. And let's take the second example of the real estate agent. Someone who, she's not extremely far removed. In fact, she's self employed herself. But you need to give her a little bit more information and maybe simplify it a little bit more. So here's what I would use. I work with software companies to help them write the marketing and sales content they don't have time to write internally. Companies that sell complex and expensive products need solid content to help market those products. Unfortunately, they just don't have the internal staff to get it all written. That's where I come in. I've been writing in this industry for four years and I leverage my sales and software background in every client project. So notice that I've simplified the language and I've also explained how this fits into the context right into the existing need out there. So I'm not explaining what I do, I'm also explaining and by the way, here's the need that matches my services. That way they, they can understand how this fits together. All right, let's take the third example. A layperson or someone who's just not even close to your business and they would not understand unless you really simp simplified it and maybe provided better or clearer context. I work with software companies to help them write the marketing and sales materials they don't have time to write internally. Companies that sell complex and expensive products need solid written materials to help market those products. Unfortunately, they just don't have the internal staff to get it all written. That's where I come in. So here again, I've simplified it even further and I've cut it back just a little bit because especially this last part about my background and why I'm different, I just didn't feel that for a layperson that's really that necessary. With the other two categories, it's definitely more important because you're trying to separate yourself from others who might do the same thing. In the case of a Layperson, you're just trying to very quickly determine, you know, do you get it? Okay, let me just pause and see if you understand or if you have any questions. So adding more detail at that point before you've kind of checked in with them doesn't. Doesn't really add a lot of value. It can only start creating more confusion. So that's what I would do. I would create a series of layman's value statements and have one ready that's good for industry insiders, but then have some in your pocket that you can always pull out and use with people who maybe have no idea what a freelance writer does. Again, don't underestimate what these people can bring to the table, who they can refer you to. I have. I'm just. I've been surprised way too many times when I just. Just assume that people don't get it or they wouldn't be able to help me. And I just went ahead and explained it anyway with some very simple language. And next thing I knew, I, you know, had a referral to someone who could actually hire me. So you never, never know. I can't emphasize this enough, folks. Relationships are everything in business. And in this business, that's no exception. One of your biggest sources of potential business, of potential clients. And by the way, it's not just clients. It could be partners, it could be subcontractors, other resources. One of your biggest sources of these things are the people who already know and trust you. Many of us already know this, but I think we limit our field of vision to people who are already in our industry. In other words, other writers and freelancers. And what I hope you walk away with today is that some of the biggest opportunities will actually be outside of these circles. Again. I've seen it time and time again in my own business and the business of my coaching clients. And now there is actual empirical evidence showing that this is true, that even our weak and dormant connections could be our biggest source of business success. So that's it for today's episode. Again, you can grab the details show notes@b2b launcher.com episode 25. These are very detailed notes and make great reference material, especially if you're somewhere right now where you can't take notes. I have a couple of quick announcements before we wrap up. First, I wanted to make sure that you knew about my free pricing guide. Yes, I'm giving away the actual guide and master fee schedule that I use in my freelance writing business. And you can grab that@b2b launcher.com youm'll see the signup box there on the right. Just enter your name and email address and you'll get taken directly to the download link. I have 32 different B2B or commercial writing projects fee ranges for each, as well as some tips and strategies on how to price your work and how to use this information in your own business. So check it out. And by the way, if you like it, if you find value in it, or if you've already downloaded and really liked it, please go ahead and send friends and colleagues to b2b launcher.com so they can grab their own copy. I would really appreciate you spreading the word. This information needs to get into the hands of more people have already had close to, I believe 20002500 downloads in just a couple of weeks. It's pretty remarkable, but I appreciate your help spreading the word. Also, if you enjoyed this episode, I'd be very grateful if you shared it with friends. Easiest way to do that is just to use any of the social media buttons that you see on each of the show notes page. Or you can go to b2b launcher.com forward/love and finally, if you've been enjoying this podcast, it would mean the world to me if you took a minute and gave me a star ratings in itunes or a quick honest review, just a sentence or two, I would really, really appreciate that. That helps with the rankings in itunes, which in turn makes or increases the probability that this show will get it in front of the people who need this information the most. So thank you for those who have been leaving reviews lately. I just can't thank you enough. You guys are just absolutely fantastic. So that brings us to the end of this episode. I am your host Ed Gandia. Thanks so much for listening and I hope you have an awesome, awesome day. The High Income Business Writing Podcast is a Production of B to B business launcher. Learn more at b2b launcher.com.