#277: How to Respond to an Angry Client

Welcome to the High Income Business Writing Podcast, helping you propel your writing business to a whole new level. And now, here's your host, Ed Gandia.

Hey there. Welcome to another episode of the High Income Business Writing Podcast, the number one podcast for business writers and copywriters who want to earn more and less time doing work they love for better clients. With over 1 million downloads from listeners just like you and across 101 countries, I recently received an email from a guy by the name of Brandon Welch. He is a marketing consultant who works with local businesses to generate leads more cost effectively and without advertising. Frankly, I don't know how I got on Brandon's list. I haven't read most of his stuff. In fact, I don't really know much about him, if at all. But I found this particular email to be very practical, very useful, and applicable to our business. Because in this email he was explaining how local businesses should respond to negative 1 star reviews on Google, Yelp and other similar review websites. And as I read his advice, I quickly recognized that his approach is very similar to the one I've used over the years when dealing with negative review client feedback, especially feedback that you can tell was emotionally charged and wasn't really well thought out when the client sent it. This feedback could come in the way. It could be a harsh reaction to a first draft. It could be about our response time, maybe our pricing. Maybe they gave you something of a project and you went ahead and did it, but they never asked you for pricing. And then you build it. And then they react very negatively to that. They feel cheated or it could be some other factor in their relationship. They're annoyed by something you did and their reaction is very negative. Now, I don't know about you, but my natural tendency has always been to react emotionally to that kind of feedback rather than to respond calmly, thoughtfully and strategically. Notice the two words I use there because they're very important. And there is a key difference. React implies little to no thought, right? It happens instantly. Respond implies thoughtful action. Anyway, let me walk you through Brandon's recommended process for dealing with negative customer feedback and then explain how you can use the same steps to better respond to negative client comments or feedback. Step one is to empathize and apologize. So Brandon says, and I quote, it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. This customer feels they weren't given good service. Meet them where they are. For example, he suggests taking an approach of I'm so sorry about your experience with Blank. I would feel the same way If I were in your shoes. Now, notice how this approach, this response lowers the customer's defenses. I mean, if you were on the other end of this message, wouldn't you're kind of. Wouldn't the temperature in the room go down? It's very strategic. Very well done. Your defenses would naturally be lowered because it's unexpected. Someone who lashes out at you is typically ready for a fight. So when you react in a relaxed and empathetic way, it's disarming, I have found from experience, because I've been on the other end when I'm the one lashing out in a secret way. And I hate to admit this, okay, but look, I'm an open book. In a secret way, I want to fight. I mean, when the emotions are running high and I feel like I've been wronged, and I hate to admit it, but I have reacted in a way that I'm not proud of. And secretly, when I thought about what I wanted, I wanted the other person to fight. I wanted to react negatively, too, which is. That makes no sense. Who wants a fight? I mean, who has the kind of energy to give to such a useless task? I don't know why that happens. I have some ideas, but, yeah, I think I want to fight. And I've also been in situations where I've lashed out like that, and then the other person just lowered the temperature, and they reacted in a relaxed and empathetic way. And I felt foolish. I felt foolish. And then I apologized myself, and I realized that I was out of line. So it's extremely effective, and it's how you should start, because, again, that's not what the other person is expecting. All right, next, Brandon suggests that you need to communicate your values. So what does that mean? Well, it means taking them from where they are to painting a picture of your values, your own personal values, your own business values, and how they align with what they hoped to experience. So, for example, you could tell the client that this is not what you're about. This is not standard practice. This is not how you normally operate. This is not what you go for. This is not what you typically deliver. And now you see that this mistake or oversight is below the standard to which you hold yourself. And you know, this is not me, and this is not what I consider good work. You're right. This is not up to the standard that I hold myself to. Next, you need to ask for forgiveness, if you haven't already. And, of course, that's pretty straightforward. Simply say something to the effect that you hope they can forgive your mistake or oversight. Now, just a quick little tip here. I know this is a little bit woo woo when I ask for forgiveness. In order for me to write this out in an authentic way, we're going to get to authenticity here in a minute. I need to have calmed down. It's very difficult to do a good job with this kind of response if you're not calm, if your blood pressure is still high, if you're breathing fast, you need to wait and give yourself time to have calmed down. Let the emotions get back to normal so you can respond adequately. I really believe that there is a certain type of energy that you put forth in that communication that can be perceived by the other person.

Okay?

And when you ask for that forgiveness, for the sincerity to come through, you need to have calmed down. It needs to come from the heart. You really need to mean it, okay? That you were really sorry. The next step is to offer resolution. So you need to explain how you're going to make it right, what you're going to do about it, and you need to be clear about what they can expect and when they can expect that fix or resolution. Really, really important. Don't just say, I'm going to make it better, I'll do better next time. That's not good enough. Everything to this point could have been great, but if you're vague here, you could really lose the client. Okay, so explain as detailed as you can, within reason, of course, how you're going to make it right. Be clear about what they can expect and when they can expect it. Finally, and I mentioned this already, but you need to show authenticity throughout. So in the case of a local business, Brandon suggests use language such as, would you call our office at, you know, whatever number and ask for Mike? I would love to help you in any way I can. You know, I've seen those kind of responses when I'm looking at a business and their reviews. And I'm always impressed by that because that's going the extra mile, that's saying, look, I care. Let's take it to a medium, let's take it to a conversation, a real conversation, because we have just reached the limit of this particular platform. So we've just reached the limit of going back and forth in the Google review or going back and forth over email. Let's take it to a phone conversation. Okay? That right there is when you could really make it right and you can really reconnect with that client and have that sincerity and authenticity show through, hopefully that you've done A pretty good job of that in writing. But we all know that there are limits to what you can do in writing. And really, the biggest impact you can have is in person, which is always ideal, but is a last resort over a zoom call over the phone in your case. To do this, well, I mean, again, you need to show humility. You need to show humanity. Even if by this point you already know. Let's just say that because of what happened, you decided you're never going to work for this client again. Even then, you need to show humility and humanity. You need to show that you truly want to make this right and will do whatever it takes within acceptable boundaries, of course, to make that happen. Now, after that, you can go your separate ways if you'd like, but right now, your main focus is to fix the situation. There have been situations where I knew, okay, based on what happened here and based on the history that I've had with this client, I'm going to make this right and I'm going to show humility, humanity, and I'm going to take care of them and my reputation. But I know that I'm going to move on. Okay, but even then, I have to take care of this. These are two different things and you need to make sure you separate them regardless of what happens from here and how the client responds. I'm telling you, if you follow this approach, you'll know that you've done everything you could to resolve the issue and you're going to feel good about that. Now, some clients may refuse your offer. At this point, you can't control what they say, how they say it, or what they choose to do. At this point, all you can control is, is your emotions and your, again, response to a difficult situation. So let's take a real life example and see how you can apply this approach. And I'm going to use an example that happened with a coaching client of mine a couple of months ago. This particular person was having a difficult time with a client that she really wanted to continue to work with. At least at the point she reached out to me for feedback. She said, look, I probably will continue to work for this person. Right now, I'm not happy with them and the way they reacted to this, but I need to figure out how to respond and that's how this came about. So here's the background and I don't want to reveal her details because I don't have permission from her to share her name or the exact details of the situation. But she had scheduled a phone interview with the company CEO to gather some information for a piece that she was writing for them. But just three hours before the interview was to take place, her mother had a serious accident. And it was serious enough that it had the potential to be life threatening. So she had to rush her mom to the hospital. And my client spent days worried that she might lose her mom or that she might end up with a partial disability. The good news is her mother's situation started improving after a few days in the hospital, but it was still a very scary and stressful time. My client was in limbo for a few days, Just all these things rushing through her mind, like, oh, my God, could I lose her? Is she going to be disabled? Very, very stressful. The following week, after her mom was back home, she reached out to the client, to the CEO, to try and reschedule the call. And this is when things went south. She received an email from the CEO, basically reminding her that she canceled the last meeting unexpectedly. And this time he wanted her to suggest a time that was going to be a hundred percent concrete because he didn't want to have to move that meeting again. He's very curt, very abrasive, very insensitive. Now, I don't know about you, but my first reaction to this would be to reply to the CEO with the nastiest email I could possibly write using words that I rarely utter in public. But that's just pure, raw, emotional, and not necessarily the best course of action, obviously. Okay, you know what? I'm going to say this. I'm certainly not an expert in this area. Don't beat yourself up if that is your natural reaction. That is a very common thing to feel this way, and it's okay. What really matters is what you do about it, is how you react, how you respond. So, anyway, here's the advice I gave my coaching client. I said, look, first consider that the CEO's frustration may have little to do with you and almost everything to do with other frustrations he might have that are outside your control.

Okay.

Most cases I found that it's really about something else, not you. But in this case, I told her, it sounds like he took it out on you, at least some of that frustration on you, which is unfortunate. And this happens. And it happens even to good people. I don't know anything about the CEO. I don't know anything about him and what he's like, but he could be a great guy. And you take someone, put them under serious stress, and they could break and they could do and say things that they'll later regret. So I suggested, look, I would respond by first apologizing again. I know you've already apologized the first time when you had to cancel it, but start with an apology, state what happened, and then assure him that you have every intention of being there and then thank him for understanding. So I drafted a sample response email for her and I'll. And I'll just read it to you because this is. You'll see that it follows the same format that we've been talking about here.

Okay.

Hi, Joe. I'm very sorry about having to move that call last week. I know how frustrating it is to have last minute cancellation. So what does she just do here? Apologize and empathize.

Okay.

That was the first step that Brandon suggested. Apologize and empathize. All right, next. I take client appointments very seriously, but my mother had a major medical emergency three hours before our call, and I had to rush her to the hospital. Totally unexpected situation. So what are we doing here? We're communicating our values.

Okay.

I take my client appointments very seriously, but here's what happened. Totally unexpected situation. Suddenly that became my, you know, my mom's one of my top values. Okay, so you're showing two different values. You're showing that you take client appointments extremely seriously. And then this happened to my mom, and obviously she's a top priority.

Okay.

All right, so let's continue. I have X day and time blocked in my calendar, if that still works for you. Okay, so what's that about? Well, offering resolution. Even though that was something that was already stated, you're reminding the client this is the resolution I've proposed and hopefully that still works. Continuing with the email, I have every intention of being there. And again, my apologies for canceling last time. I look forward to reconnecting. So that's all about, again, capping it off with forgiveness and showing authenticity. In fact, authenticity is happening throughout that email. Hopefully you saw that. But I like to cap things off with forgiveness, and I don't think Brandon really emphasized that. But you start with apologies and then you cap with apologies and asking for forgiveness. It's a sandwich. You have it at the top, at the bottom. Kind of like the bread and the sandwich. So as you can see, this approach that Brandon wrote about works in all kinds of delicate situations, especially those where your first reaction might be, well, let's just say, not your very best course of action. Which is why it's so important to recognize and use that gap that Steven Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, often talked about. And he had a beautiful quote about it. And I'm going to quote, between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. End quote. Such a beautiful way of expressing that power that we have in that gap and what we do and how we handle it. That's where our growth is and that's where we can find our freedom. We all have to do our best to remember that we're dealing with another human in these situations. And again, you never know what that person might be going through at work or at home when they reacted the way they did. There's a good chance that most of their anger or frustration has little to do with you and a lot to do with other people or circumstances that are outside your control. One last tip, and Brandon suggests this Bury it and move on. By that I mean try not to dwell on the situation. Remind yourself that, look, you did your best to fix it. And part of being human is making mistakes. And mistakes are just the way we all learn and the way we get better. So just do your best to not let it ruin your day, your week, your month. Try not to be the one thing that you keep coming back to and just kind of reliving.

Okay?

Move on.

Okay.

Very important. This has been Ed Gandia I hope you enjoyed this episode and if you did, I have a quick favor to ask you. If you haven't done so in the past, would you mind leaving me a two or three sentence review on Apple Podcasts? Doing so really helps expose the show to more listeners who could benefit from it and it would really mean the world to me. I take the time to read all those ratings and reviews and I just truly appreciate you considering doing that for me and for the show and I hope you have an excellent rest of your day. Well, that's it for today. I hope you enjoyed the episode. And just a quick reminder reminder to grab your free copy of my latest book Earn More in Less Time the Proven Mindset, strategies and Actions to prosper as a Freelance writer. You can get your free copy@b2b launcher.com or you will also find the detailed show notes to this and all my other episodes. Enjoy and have a great day.