Ep 17: In conversation with Lisa March

Before we jump into this week's episode, please be advised that there is conversation around death and suicide that some listeners may find hard to listen to. Welcome to the All Is Wellness Podcast with me, Emma Naylor. Join us in open and honest conversations with wellness professionals and industry experts. Welcome back to the All Is Wellness Podcast. This week's guest is the wonderful Lisa March. Lisa and I met both working in a corporate office in real estate. She has now left and has done her mental health Certificate, her Level 2 and 3 in counseling, and she's going for her counseling diploma alongside being the most amazing mum to her three gorgeous boys. Lisa, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast this week.

Oh, Emma, thank you so much for asking me to come on here. Like, I listen to your podcast every week, and when you asked me to come on it, I was like, oh, my God, I'm so honored. So, thank you so much.

No, I'm so excited to have this conversation with you. I know we haven't, you know, we always catch up, but it's been so long since we've kind of really spoken about, since we've met, and everything that you've been doing, I've obviously kind of seen on social media your three gorgeous boys and all of the studying that you've been doing and juggling it all while making it look so, so easy.

I'm glad I make it look easy.

I'd love to sort of hear a little bit more, as I said, about your journey so far and how you've kind of got to where you are today.

Okay. Oh, wow. Okay. So it's funny because when you. When you ask someone about, like, their journey, I guess in my head, I'm like, right, where did it begin? Let's start at the beginning. But, like, I feel like where I'm at now has been like an accumulation of, like, everything that's happened in my life, like, all my experiences, all the decisions that I've made, you know, and it's all sort of led me to where I am now. But I guess if I'm. If I'm looking back at a. Like a turning point in my life, it was. It probably all started when I was 18. Now, before. Before I was 18, it was. I. I don't know, like, I guess I didn't have much purpose. I didn't really have any direction. You know, I was taking a lot of drugs as a late teen. I was drinking a lot. I was the time. And I didn't really have a sense of purpose or sort of where my life was going. And then, yeah, I say when I was 18, massive tragedy sort of hit our family. So my stepbrother, he committed suicide. He hung himself in our, on our garden of our family home. And it was like, it was awful. Like as you can imagine, I mean, ultimately it tore our family apart. But that was the sort of the catalyst that really turned my life around because it sort of made me look at who I was and where I was going and just be like, I need to do something with my life. Like, I can't waste it. I need to, to go out there and, and live a good life for myself. So then I, I started thinking about what I wanted to do. And I'd always had like this passion to work abroad as a holiday rep. I don't know if there's like one of those 1830 Pro, one of those 1830 programs on TV or whatever, but I really wanted to do it and that's what I did. I left home. I think I was like 19 when I went and worked for Club 1830. I was a holiday rep, did all my training in Ibiza, like, met some amazing friends and I did a season in Majorca. And then when I was out there, I met, I met a boy and like, obviously I just thought like he was the one and it was going to last forever. And when our season ended, he, he brought me back to London, which is where he was from. So that's how I ended up in London. And he got me a job in the real estate, which is where you and I in the, in the sort of the corporate world. So that's how I sort of ended up in the corporate and sort of landed doing that. And I stayed there for 14 years and I never thought I would stay for that long, but I just, I just loved it. Like I loved the people, I loved the fast paced of it all, you know, and you know, as you know, the job came with lots of perks. You know, we went on lots of holidays and nights out and it was just amazing. But I think as time went on, when I look at my career in that corporate industry, I can kind of separate it into two parts. It was like the first 10 years, which were amazing, and then the last four years, which I guess I kind of disconnected from. I didn't have like that fire in my belly for it anymore, but I was just doing it because it paid really well and I just sort of thought this is just what I do. So yeah, I was there for 14 years and then, yeah, in the last four years. I then got pregnant. I've met my husband at the same company, so we got married, our first baby, and we now have three sons. So we had three babies altogether. And I got made redundant at the end of 2019, in December 2019. And for me, that was like, a massive blow because I was like, wow, Whoa, where did this come from? Like, I know this sounds really silly, but I thought I was going to retire at that place. Like, I literally could see myself, like, staying there forever. It was just so unexpected. And I was sort of, like, forced to really have to, like, reevaluate what I was going to do next. So it was probably at that point where I actually got two job offers from friends who worked in the industry who said, you know, we'll. We'll take you in a heartbeat. But because I was. I was actually five months pregnant at the time. So, yeah, you can imagine the stress. Like, five months pregnant, you know, this family to support and being made redundant. And I was tempted to just be like, yeah, just take. Take the job and just stick with what you know, because that was, like, the ease. That would have been the easy route. But there was just something inside me that was just saying, like, this has happened for a reason. Like, there's a reason that this has happened, and you have to, like, you know, go with this. So I decided not to take the job offers, and I made the decision to just come out of work for a year or two to sort of figure out what I wanted to do. And then it was then that when I really sat down and I was speaking to a friend of mine, she's a coach, and we were talking through, you know, what coaching is all about, and really rediscovering your passion for life and who you are. And I remembered a couple of years previous, I'd actually gone to Lambeth College to inquire about doing a counseling course. Because, like, I've always had this. I know, like, this deep sort of desire to, like, want to help people. And, you know, I guess I'm a bit of a fixer, I suppose, but my. My calling always felt like I should have been a counsellor. But when I went to inquire about it at Lambeth College, they said they needed. I needed to take one full day a week out to do the studying. And funnily enough, my employers wouldn't give me a full day off every week to go and trade, to do something else. So I didn't do it. So, yeah, I guess I revisited that again. I went back to Lambeth college when I got made redundant and I just kicked. Yeah, just kick. Started the ball rolling really. And did my level two and my mental health certificate in. In those first sort of month or two of being made redundant. Then I had had the third baby. Then a couple of months after I had the baby, I started my level three counseling. So I've now just completed that and I've got a little break now till September and then I start my diploma in September. So that sort of brought me up to where I am now, I guess. God, it's a lot actually say that out loud. I'm like, oh my God, it's actually a lot.

I remember when I first asked you to be on the podcast, you said, what am I going to talk about? And I said, you've done so much. And it's honestly amazing seeing, you know, how long ago we met. What it was six years ago, you know, I think you were pregnant with your second. I think you just started. Yeah, I think you weren't even pregnant with your second. You just had your first. You were still in the job. And the thought of kind of ever leaving that company. It's so true. We all thought that you would be there forever. Yeah, we're just gonna be there forever. And it's. It's so interesting to kind of see, first of all, you know, the big catalyst with. I think often when tragedy happens in our lives, it can either kind of do two things. It can really spiral us and really make us question negatively, well, what's the point in life and what's the point in everything? Or it can kind of have the opposite effect. We kind of. It kind of springboards us to make us think, actually life is so short. We cannot be waking up every single day doing things that don't serve us and don't really, really fulfill us. Yeah. So it's interesting to hear that that was kind of at 18 and then obviously you went to kind of work abroad for quite a few years. Something else that's also very, very interesting that you mentioned was kind of that being made redundant because I think the thought of being pregnant, being made. Being five months pregnant, being made redundant and not really knowing and actually almost facing fear straight on and saying, do I take the easy option? What I know that actually is okay, it pays well, or do I take this leap and go and do something that is so much in inverted comma, riskier, but actually in the long run, the payoff is going to be so much more. How did you kind of navigate that? Was it with Your head? Was it with your heart? How did you kind of look at that?

Oh, God. I mean, that. That is probably like, one of, like, the toughest decisions that I've probably ever had to make. And I think, you know, bear in mind, you know, when I. When I look at, you know, my life in its entirety, Emma, like this, there's been, you know, a lot that I have gone through, but it didn't. It doesn't feel like it was as. It didn't feel like it's had as big an impact as that decision. When I got made redundant, I feel like that was a real, as you say, a face the fear moment for me because I have family to support, you know, and it's not like, you know, if I was, I don't know, maybe if I was single and, you know, I didn't have any responsibilities and, you know, I didn't, you know, have mortgages to pay and things like that, it would be different. But because I had so many responsibilities, I almost felt like I. I couldn't take the risk. Like I wasn't allowed to take the risk. It's like everything was fine as it was. You know, I. I can't take that risk for myself. I can't believe in myself enough to take that jump. But then when I was faced with that, you know, because there were times in, you know, in those last couple of years when I was working in. In the industry, the corporate industry, where I didn't enjoy it, I would go in and I would just, you know, be sat at my computer looking at the time, thinking, when's it time to leave? And I. I sort of lost that passion. But I almost felt like this was just how it's supposed to be. You know, this is what people do. They just find a job. You don't always enjoy it, and you just get on with it. But I think when I was faced with that decision of now's the time to take the risk, I. I felt like I really owed it to myself to do it, you know, And I think because I've got. Maybe because I've got children now and I feel a sense of, you know, responsibility to showing them the way, the good way to live your life, you know, to be true to yourself. I wouldn't have been true to myself if I'd have just taken a job offer and stayed in that industry because I. I knew I wasn't happy and I knew it wasn't driving me, and I knew it wasn't what I was destined to do. So I think I just saw the opportunity and as, as scary as it was, I just jumped in with both feet and thought, you know what? Just let's just do this, you know, what's the worst that can happen? You know, I don't want to think about the worst that could have happened. But it all, you know, it's all, it's all worked out, worked out really well. And I think it's a really good lesson, especially for, for me, but also for my boys to say, you know, you can take a risk on yourself because it does work out. You know, sometimes it doesn't, it's not, you know, it doesn't always work out. But most of the time I think we, we, we focus too much on the things that could go wrong and we focus on the negative. Whereas actually if, if you could just focus on what could be and the possibilities, you know, most of the time it will work out. But I think you've just got to believe in yourself enough.

Yeah, it's so brave to listen to you talking so, you know, honestly about the fact that it was really scary. You know, you don't sit here and say, oh, it was fine. You know, there is that fear. And I think that even once you've made that decision, there's always that kind of voice in the back of your head that doesn't believe in yourself, that thinks, what if it's not going to work out? I can't take a risk on myself. And it makes me wonder how many people, you know, in the uk, in the whole world are doing things that don't fulfill them because they think, as you said, it's what they think they're supposed to.

Yeah.

And, and they don't believe in themselves enough. Whether they've been told, you know, they're not good enough, whether they're self sabotaging because they're relating when things have gone, that's their brain is sort of thinking, well, that went wrong. So obviously this is going to go wrong. How many people, and I'm sure we know a few, our previous company in that industry who were probably sat there, make the move, because this is all. I know, it's just so, it's so sad to think that there are people not living their full purpose because of whether it's fear of judgment, whether it's, you know, fear of failure.

How I think the failure. Definitely. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely failure. That's, that's sort of what I was going to say. How did you deal with, you know, things, you know, you said you got made redundant. How did you deal with that, as you say, you know, that kind of rejection from a company that you did think you were going to stay?

Because I guess in a lot of.

People'S minds it would be a failure. But you really, really kind of spun it and said, actually it was what I needed. But how did you deal with that internally?

Yeah, I think, as you say at the time, I think it depends on what stage in life. Right. I think a lot of my 20s, I was so bothered by what other people thought of me all the time. And I would probably never admit that at the time. You know, I, I would. I think I've sort of gone through life with a, you know, hey, you know, I'd live by my own rules. I don't care what anyone thinks of me. But actually, I've spent a really long time, probably the majority of my life, actually, I did care what people thought. And, you know, especially the environment that we both worked in, I was consumed by what other people were doing and how much better, you know, better than them that I was. And it was almost like it was just part of, of who I was, was caring about what other people thought. And I think maybe it's just with age and experience, but I've kind of got to the point and maybe, maybe it sounds like, you know, from, from listening to your story, you're probably at a similar point where you go through that stage where you do a lot of self development and you work on yourself and you get to a point where you realize that actually, A, no one actually does care that much about what you're doing, but B, it's not about other people. It's about, you know, how true to yourself that you are. And I think that's probably how I dealt with the redundancy, was by just acknowledging that, you know, it's like, this is my life. This is no one else's. This is my life. And as much as I felt, I guess I felt very betrayed at the time. And I think redundancy hurt me more than I ever thought it would. You know, I'd always had hear about people getting made redundant from work, but for me, that was never going to be an option because, you know, I was valued in the workplace. I'd been there for so many years. You know, I almost felt like I was indispensable. You know, they couldn't get rid of me because I'm, you know, I'm of too much value. But actually when it happened, it was like, oh, okay, so actually I don't have control over my life, somebody else has that control. And I think that's what. That's what probably hurt me the most, was having to deal with that feeling. But I think, like you say once. Once I was. Once I was faced with it. I think that's when your character really shines through. And I. I've always really prided myself on being a really positive person, you know, even through. When I look back at events, you know, that have happened in my past, which, you know, if you take my brother's suicide, which could have been, you know, quite traumatic for a lot of people, I actively go out my way to try and find the positive in situations. And I think that's just what I did with. With the redundancy. I just thought, have to. Have to make this a positive. A positive thing that's happened. But it wasn't easy, Emma. Like, it wasn't. It wasn't something that came easily to me. And I think I listen a lot, actually, to a previous guest you had a few weeks ago, Amira. I think she's a friend of yours that you did. And she talks a lot about the way that you speak to yourself. And I. I'm totally on board with her because it's all about that narrative that you're feeding yourself, is all about how you speak to yourself. And it's not just how you speak to yourself, but it's. It's believing it as well. You know, we can all look in the mirror and say, you know, you're awesome. You know, you're great at what you do. You know, you've got this. But it's. It's having that belief inside that actually you are awesome and you have got this and you can do this. So I think that's probably how I. Yeah, how I probably got through it was by listening to that narrative I was telling myself and just. Yeah, just holding onto it with both hands and running with it. And it's. And it's paying off so far. I mean, obviously, I don't know where the future is going to go for me, but, you know, all I know is that I want to be the best counselor that I can be, and I want to be there to help people navigate, you know, through. Through their journey. And I think, actually one of your other previous guests. Sorry, I sound like a real stalker here, talking about your previous guest. No, I love it. One of your guests, Hector Hughes, when he was. When he was talking about his business venture and how he made that change, he said something which really resonated with me. Which was. He said there's a lot of value in being in the present. And for me, that is exactly what therapy is. And that's why I want to be a counselor, because I think it's about giving yourself that. That safe space to be able to connect with yourself in the present without any of those external sort of distractions around. So I guess I'm just holding on to that. And so far that, yeah, that's seeing me through.

Firstly, I love the fact that you listen to every single episode of the podcast. That makes me so happy.

Do you know what I do, Emma? It's on. It's on a third, because you record. I think you put them out on a. And on a Thursday. I've got some. I've got some childcare in the morning, so I normally try and go to the gym in the morning. And then I put your podcast on on the way home. Thank you.

What you said that was quite interesting around kind of being in the present, because I think kind of over the last year and a half with COVID we've had to all live in the present. And it's definitely something I massively struggle with. I'm always the person who wants to have plans. I'm always the person that wants to have holidays booked. And in the last year and a half, I really haven't been able to do that. And what. What I realized my anxiety has dropped massively. Like, I cannot remember the last time I randomly woke up feeling anxious because what I used to do, you know, there's two things. First of all, I. And be so anxious about the future, I would not be living in the present. And I think the second thing was there's this whole thing going on around kind of toxic positivity. And I think looking back over the kind of, you know, before the pandemic and even now, I still find myself doing it. I don't allow myself often to kind of sit with the sad feelings, because what I'll try and do is justify and say, well, this is a learning curve, and this is this and this is that. And actually, sometimes it just really bloody hurts. And I just need to sit there and allow myself to be sad, to be angry, to be upset, to feel hurt, to feel disappointed. I don't feel well. This is the lesson out of this. And this is great. I can feel at a later stage, but at that moment in time, I can really, really do that. And I think kind of talking about your brother's suicide, I think it's interesting to hear. Obviously you amazing that you could get the positive things out of it. But do you feel that you kind of went off and kind of worked and just wanted to escape from everything that was going on?

Oh, my God, totally. Like, it's so weird you say that because actually, I've only just come to the realization in the last few weeks, actually, because I've just started having my own personal therapy because I. I have always been like a, you know, just. Just get on with it kind of girl. A bit like you were saying, a bit like you just make plans and you get on with stuff. And I've always sort of like, avoided, never intentionally avoided it, but looking back, I've always avoided actually dealing with things. And I think since. Since going into therapy and learning about becoming a therapist myself, I really understand now the benefits of it. And it's like, I keep thinking about, do you ever watch Netflix? And Marie Kondo had that program where she would teach you how to sort out your bedroom and make everything all clean. And that's. That's all I think about with therapy now. It's like you have this bedroom that's like so messy and you just sort of chuck everything in. That was kind of what my life was a bit like. It was like it was just all there. It just existed. It was all sort of chucked in at different places, but it was fine because if I needed to find that pair of shoes, I could, you know, rummage around and find them eventually. That was sort of like what my life was like. It just was there. It was a bit messy, but I dealt with it and it was fine. And it's only now, through therapy that I realized the benefits of really stopping and taking time to just sort your room out. You know, it's like, you know, put your shoes where they should be, put your clothes. And that's what I'm. What I guess the therapy is, is doing for my life, it's just sorting things out and taking the time that's needed to just deal with them and box them up properly. And I think that's what I probably didn't do with. With the suicide was I didn't box it up properly. I just accepted that it had happened. And I used, you know, going abroad and then sort of throw myself into London life almost as a way to just not have to deal with any of it. Whereas now I am facing it head on and it really hurts at times. You know, it really gets me where I'm like, oh, like, I wasn't expecting. Expecting that emotion to. To rise to the top. But once it does rise, and like you say, once you give yourself that space to sit with that feeling and understand that it's okay to feel like that once you're over that, oh, the relief afterwards is just incredible because you just have so much more clarity on things. And now I'm, I mean, I've still got a lot of work to do over the next few years on myself and I'm really excited to do it because already I'm feeling the benefit of just feeling more in control of your life and having clarity on, on the way that we are as humans. And like you say, when you feel all these different emotions, rather than just sort of trying to bat them away and distract yourself with something else, just, you know, slow down and sit, just sit in the, sit in the moment for a bit with it. And yeah, it's amazing how you can feel afterwards.

I think you absolutely hit the nail on the head with that. And it's so interesting that it's many years since your brother's passing and yet only now as a mother of three, going through your own development journey, you kind of actually looking back and realizing the emotions. And I think there's, there's definitely a lot to be said with how the world, with mental health and how we kind of view it and you know, absolutely. When I start. I've been going therapy since I was 14, I've been going for 15 years. And there was almost. There was always so much shame and guilt around going to it that I don't think I fully allowed myself to really open up because I felt that I was broken. I felt that there was something very wrong with me. I felt that no one else was going through this. And now everyone I speak to has either got a therapist, a life coach, a counselor, and I think that we're now viewing it, you know, everyone. You don't. You're not embarrassed to get a personal trainer if you're shaping up for a wedding or you feel like you want to get in better shape, or you need a nutritionist to help you eat better. But unfortunately there was this very big around kind of getting external help. And I'm now so open about the fact that I've had a therapist. I have group coaching, I have one to one coaching.

I have a life coach. Yeah, good.

You know, I do all these things and I think it's so important, you know, especially as raising three boys, I think it's that you can show them actually all of this is very normal. And if you need the help and you need the external help, that's absolutely fine. So I really, really think leading from the front in both senses, saying you guys can do and be whatever you want if you put your mind to it. And also, there is help available if you need that. I think it's so amazing.

And I think also I think with. Maybe it's because of. Because of what happened with my stepbrother, I maybe feel that responsibility to look after the boys a bit more, my boys, because I always think I never want them to ever feel like they can't. And I guess anybody that's been through a tragic suicide like this will feel the same. It's like once somebody passes away, you can't go back and, you know, you can't go back and say, you know, okay, let's talk about it now, because it's. It's such a permanent action to a temporary problem. And I think that's what I've always felt so angry about was. Was like, you know, it didn't have to happen. You could talk to people, blah, blah, blah. You know, you. You. That's the route that I went down. Whereas I think now it's. I just feel like I'm. I owe it to my children to know that it's okay to feel sad, and it's okay to feel like you're stuck, you know, and like you said, there's so much help out there nowadays, whether it's a life coach or a therapist or even just a friend that's a really good listener, you know, just. Just talk to somebody. And I think when I actually started to. To do counseling, because I've always been, you know, like I said, a bit of a fixer. I've always tried to sort of like, you know, when you see someone's problem and you're just like, if you just do this, it will be okay.

That's me.

I've always been like. I think when I first started my counseling journey, that's what I thought I was going to be doing was like, you know, picking up the pieces and the jigsaw pieces of someone's life and helping them put it all back together. But actually, that isn't what therapy is about. You know, I think so many people go to a counselor thinking that that's what it's going to be. But actually, therapists are not there to put you back together. They're there to walk beside you, putting yourself back together. You know, it's you as the client, you do the work, which, you know, I guess you would not been in Therapy for so many years. You'll understand this over someone that maybe hasn't been to therapy before, but it's not someone maybe a life coach would probably try and help you put those pieces back together. And I think there's definitely that element in me where I am still definitely a fixer. And I think at some point in the future, I'll become a sort of a coach, counselor, and a sort of mix the two. But at the moment, I'm definitely just focusing on that, walking next to someone on their journey to help them heal themselves, rather than trying to do it for them.

Yeah. And I think that it's really interesting to kind of look at the different. The different kind of help in the space available. I guess you sort of have therapists who are sort of very, very much going into the past and almost kind of going through that and sort of looking at the trauma and trying to sort of work through that, as you said, hand by hand, side by side, walking together. Then you sort of have mentors who have very much been in your shoes. And that is very much kind of advice about, this is what I went through. And therefore, this is kind of what you're going through. And then you sort of have the coaching side of things, which is very much holding space and almost evoking those. The right questions to kind of evoke the right conversation. So it's really interesting to see how all three of them offer very, very different things for very, very different stages of your life. And as I said, therapy for me is very much in the past. Mentorship is very much what you're going through right now. And coaching is very much helping you hold space and figure out what the future you are, helping you get on that path. So I think at different stages of life or at any kind of point in life, you'll need different points of help. It's not very much. Sort of one size, one size fits all.

Yeah.

You know, my therapist, I always say this, and I will continue to say this absolutely changed my life. Some people may go to him and not like the way that he works and that very much around finding what works for you and what makes you feel really good when you leave those sessions.

Yeah, it's like relationships, isn't it? You know, you go through your life having different relationships, and some of them, you know, work out. You know, I married one of mine because he was the one that, you know, I knew really, really fitted for me. But then I've also had previous relationships where, you know, they haven't worked out. And other people have married those people. So that's just, you know, you just have to. And I'm really glad. It's actually awesome that. The way that you've just sort of simplified that for people to hear as well, the difference between what different people do. Because I think it can be quite overwhelming at the moment where there is, you know, everyone on my Instagram seems to be like a life coach or a therapist or, you know, maybe that's because they're the types of people I surround myself in. But it can be quite overwhelming. And for someone that isn't necessarily in that world, it can be quite confusing to know the difference between the two. So I think it's. That's really awesome you've done that, is by just sort of simplifying what. What the different, you know, different people can do for you at different stages of your life. But one thing that really sprung to mind for me, actually, was when I was recently reading about Ericsson's eight stages of psychosocial development.

Yeah.

And what it. And it's so amazing. But the thing that really got me was the eighth stage. So what it basically is for anyone that that sort of is listening, that doesn't know. It's basically a theory where in our life there's eight stages that basically resonate with a different virtue that we have. So things like love or wisdom or resilience, things like that. And different stages in our life, depending on how we are, whether it's been addressed negatively or positively. For example, potty training. You know, if. If you as a baby had potty training and your caregivers sort of scolded you for being on the floor and were sort of really, sort of harsh to you because you didn't make it to the toilet in time. That can really have an effect on your resilience as a. As an adult, just things like that. But the one stage that really, really resonates with me is the eighth stage. And that's the. The stage of wisdom. And that's basically when you look back on your life and you realize that actually every decision that you've made either ends up as regret or a memory. And I'm so conscious of that now because I guess we're in our sort of 30s. I'm in my 30s now. Are you 30 yet?

M. I'm 30 next. Next year. January.

Oh, amazing.

I'm saying literally at like, the beginning of the year.

Oh, you're so funny. Yeah.

It's so far away.

It's ages away. Yeah, well, that's it, I mean, this is. Okay, you're nearly in your 30s. But I think because I, I'm, I'm now obviously I'm not in my 60s yet, but I'm really conscious of the fact that one day we will be in our 60s and one day we will be in that eighth stage. And when I look back at all of the decisions that I've made, I want as many of them to be memories, not regrets. And even little things like, you know, when you're sort of in the moment and you sort of get really, really livid with. Especially if, you know, if you're having an argument with Tom about something, can you snap and then you go away afterwards and you're like, oh, I should have just like took a chill pill.

Then and just not.

Yeah. And it's like. And that decision was a regret rather than a memory. And I think I'm just so conscious of that that now every decision that I'm making, I want them to be memories. And for me that's where therapy really comes in. Because I can be, definitely can be quite short tempered, especially with the children. I can snap quite easily and get quite impatient, whereas I do go away and I regret doing that afterwards. Whereas the process of therapy and the talking it through and the understanding and that whole sorting that messy bedroom out, I do find myself, I'm a lot less impatient and I'm a lot less snappy and I'm a lot more able to be able to just sort of take that chill pill in the moment and just deal with it in a better way. So that's definitely how therapies can help anyone. If you just want to, if you want to be able to look back on your life with more memories rather than regrets, 100% recommend therapy for like, like everybody needs therapy. Like you don't have to be like a screw up to need therapy. Every single person could really benefit from, from a good therapist.

No, I absolutely love that. I think that everyone, as you said, could benefit from therapy. You know, as I said previously, I used to think I needed therapy because I was insane. I thought I needed therapy because I was broken. And actually it's because I knew that there was more to life out there than the life I was living. I knew that I deserved more and I knew that there was more. And I had to put my hands up and say, I'm not where I want to be. I know that there's more for me, but I need, I need help. And I think that's such a powerful thing. To be able to do.

Yeah.

And actually. Actually kind of admit that.

No, totally.

So I could literally talk to you for hours. We all know.

And I keep. I keep saying to you, we need to go out for a coffee, and we just, like, we need to get.

This coffee in now that we actually can see each other.

We.

Yeah, do this just to finish up. So what would be your sort of one big piece of advice for anyone who's going through a big change or is looking for something fulfilling? What would be your one piece of advice based on your experience?

Right. I hear you asked this question to all of your guests, so I knew you were going to ask me this question, and I was like, what's my one big bit of advice going to be? And I like, I navigated, like, everything. And then in the end, I thought, you know what? Just give a piece of advice that I would just give to my children. Like, that's probably the most authentic bit of advice. So I think it's more about investing in yourself and taking the time to just keep checking in with yourself. Because what I think what drives you and what your values are and who you are at that time, it changes as you get older. So if you're not constantly checking in with yourself and realigning your values and, you know, what makes you happy at that time, it can be very easy to get stuck being who you were rather than the person you are now or the person you want to be. So I guess that's probably. Yeah, the biggest. The best bit of advice I could give is just keep checking in with yourself and making sure that not only are you figuring out who you have become, because as I say, we all change over time. So once you figure out who you are, but then the big part is the taking action on that. You know, once you figure out what it is that you. You now want, if it's different to what you used to want, what are you doing to now put that into action? To live the life that you. You want to live. Yeah, that's it. God, like Gandhi, don't I?

So much for being so honest with our listeners this week. If people want to reach you or find out more about what you're doing, where can they find you?

Yes. Thanks then. So I've got a. I've just actually recently set up an Instagram specifically for my counseling studies. So it's. It's really simple. It's just. Lisa March Therapy. March, like the month. So Lisa March Therapy on Instagram. And you can connect with me on there. And. Yeah, it's still a new baby, so it will grow. But yeah, that's where you can find me.

Perfect. Well, as I said, Lisa, thank you so much for being so honest and open on this week's podcast. I've absolutely loved.

Yeah, me too. Thank you.

You thank thank you everyone for listening to this week's podcast. We look forward to hearing from you and speaking with you next week. We hope you enjoyed this week's podcast. Please leave us a review. If you did, head over to our Instagram page, Alliswellness Podcast and let us know what you think. We look forward to welcoming you next week for more open and honest conversations.