Ep 19: In conversation with Beth Harwood

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Welcome to the All Is Wellness Podcast with me, Emma Naylor. Join us in open and honest conversations with wellness professionals and industry experts. Welcome back to the All Is Wellness Podcast. This week's guest is my lovely friend, Beth Harwood. Beth describes herself as a hopeless romantic, a travel lover, a dream seeker, and no longer shrinking herself to meet her own or society's unrealistic standards. She's a Vinyasa flow teacher with over 200 hours of training. She teaches a style which engages the mind and opens the body, empowering her students to find a greater connection from within. In a world that is so fast paced, Beth began practicing yoga as a means of escapism. As someone who previously abandoned her body, the practice of yoga has enabled her to come home to herself during her recovery from an eating disorder. She's passionate about using yoga as a tool to help others find greater harmony and inner peace. Beth, thank you so much for being this week's guest on the podcast.

No, thank you. I'm super excited to share my story with everybody.

It's so crazy to think that you and I met I don't know how many years ago. I think it was in a gym studio in Holland Park. And, you know, we just initially got on so well and I've been following your amazing journey with sort of all the things that you've been doing. I'd love to share your story with our listeners a little bit more, sort of talk them through where you've been, where you are now, and sort of where you're going.

Absolutely. So I suppose we met however many years ago. It was at that time. I think I. Yeah, I think I must have been at the last company I was at before I quit, a corporate job which was in the city and I was working as an ea. I suppose from there I actually quit because I went into inpatient treatment for an eating disorder. And I'm about to get fully discharged on Monday. So the timing of this podcast is quite bizarre, along with the fact that this time last year I qual. Yeah, I qualified as a yoga teacher. So in the past two years, my life has literally been flipped on its head. And as someone who loves control and to know, like a path in front of them, I literally have no roadmap, nothing. And it's a bit exciting, but also, as you can imagine, a bit scary at the same time.

Firstly, congratulations. It's such an amazing achievement that you're about to get discharged. Obviously, as a patient, I think that, as you said, over the last few years, I've really Watched watch you grow and watch your kind of progress. And you know, you've shared so openly about your eating disorder. You've shared so openly about the struggles that you have had. So first of all, congratulations. Massive, massive congratulations. I think there's been a lot of growth. I'd love you to sort of explain to us, you know, I don't, I know you sort of said this before and I think you've been quite honest about this, that there was no kind of pinnacle moment that your eating disorder kind of started. But when did you realize, how did you realize that it was something that was controlling your life and that was very much navigating your being in day to day life.

I mean, like I touched on, I do like control and at the moment I'm still trying to disentangle whether that is my true essence or whether it's just like a coping mechanism that I still lean on and that that surpasses an eating disorder. That's like it manifests in different areas of my life. But aside from that, I don't know, as you've mentioned, when it's started, which always for me was a really difficult thing to overcome because I wanted to blame it on one event or one thing that might have happened to me or something in my life. But I in truth can't ever remember having a good relationship with food when I grew up. I mean, I was not eating particularly fun things from my memory anyway. I'm sure my parents might have said otherwise, but I went to Childminders and would have, oh my God, these like lemon curd sandwiches which I hated for dinner. And then I always, I remember even being really young and at sleepovers I would always get really scared of the food that was there because I would be scared of losing control over it. And this is primary school age and then even sort of into my teens of comment was made actually by my stepfather who said that if I wanted a flat stomach I should stop eating carbohydrates. And that's. I'm still trying to reestablish my relationship with carbohydrates at the moment. I find it very easy to have things which I didn't have at that time. Like we'd never had Asian food and stuff. So like soba noodles as an example is fine. But if someone puts spaghetti in front of me, I still have a difficult time with that even though they are in effect the same thing. And then I suppose I was in the corporate job as I mentioned, and I heard actually one of the people you had on your podcast say that when he went in for his corporate job, he left his soul at the door. And that's something that really resonated with me because I felt that there was none of my true essence actually walked into the building as soon as I walked in. And that's no fault of their own. It's just it wasn't the environment that was made for me to thrive. And in turn it meant that the eating disorder just got worse and worse until I believe it was 2019. But I could be wrong. Around March time, a friend of mine said to my boyfriend that she noticed that I was having difficulties with food and I started to get therapy and my weight just sort of plummeted from there over a six month period. And then I took myself out of work one day. I just said I couldn't do it anymore. And it really put into perspective actually how we think we're so important. And even if it's in a small company, but really the company can survive without you. And the biggest thing to focus on is your own well being and your own I know your podcast is all of well is about wellness, but that that surpasses like physical. It's mental, it's emotional, it's spiritual. And none of those pillars I had going on in my life at the time. And I was desperately seeking for something that would give me that purpose. And as I said, I just felt that my soul was left at the door and it got to a stage where I was so far disengaged from my soul and my weight was very, very low and I had to sadly be an impatient, which was literally the most horrendous thing ever from December 2019 until when we went into the first lockdown. And then I was a day patient at home. That's when things sort of changed. And then in June or July last year, I got moved to outpatients and I've been there since.

Thank you, Vasi, for sharing. Like such a, what seems like such a rapid kind of decline, but actually for you, every day, and I remember you've kind of explained this as like every day. The thought of food and kind of going through that is so hard. But I think it's so interesting kind of two years down the line to really be able to reflect on that. I think sort of what you mentioned about the guests sort of leaving their soul at the door, I think we've all been in those jobs that really don't serve us, those jobs that really don't make us feel good, that don't light us up that don't, you know, you don't want to wake up every morning going to that job. And I often think that with a lot of the conversations I've had, people feel that they have to do a certain job because if not, they'd be letting their family down, they'd be letting themselves down, and most of all, they don't want to leave an employer because they feel that that employer can't survive without them. And the reality is, exactly as you explained is unfortunately, most of us in roles are replaceable. You know, by the time you hand your notice in at most companies, they're sort of already looking for your replacement, if not already have that. And I love that you identified even in the depths of your eating disorder, that your mental, physical, emotional well being was more important than any corporate job or any job that you thought that you needed to have. So I think that even in the depths of, you know, being in such a dark place with your eating disorder, you were able to really identify that. And I think that that's so powerful that your brain was able to say, come on, Beth, it's time to get out. You have to do this now. I mean, sorry.

I mean, I mean there were definite nudges for me. For me, I made the active decision of quitting and it was very rapid. I went in, I called my boss one morning and was, I went in, clip my desk and was gone. So, so it was very rapid. But to go from being an outpatient to an inpatient, there was not a diversion, I can't think of the word. But my mum definitely intersected and said, you need to be in the inpatient program. And then it was, they weighed me a few times and my weight was still going down. And so I was essentially rushed into hospital to be a day patient.

I mean, wow. I mean, I will never get over how honest you are about this. Like, honestly, I don't think you ever realize how many people you're first of all helping by talking about this conversation so openly. So that's sort of the first thing. I'll always be in awe of you for kind of speaking your truth. And I think the other thing that you sort of mentioned was, you know, that rapid decline as well and having that family support. How do you feel that the kind of people around you, Because I've spoken to quite a lot of people about this, about that your network and your support group have to be so tight and have to be so supportive of what you're going through. How do you feel that kind of having the support group of your boyfriend, of your family, of your really close friends helped you through and are still helping you through this very kind of hard time and the eating disorder.

I mean, my boyfriend, certainly, first and foremost, you know, I still snap at him at things. I still, you know, I want to say, oh, we're girls, we do this, but everybody does that. Everybody gets frustrated, everybody gets annoyed. But when you have been diagnosed with a condition, it's very difficult for certain people. And I largely felt that this was more the therapist, not my boyfriend. I'll state that see you as the condition and not maybe as someone who is experiencing a feelings related to a condition. And so sometimes I find it difficult. And I know he doesn't because I think, oh gosh, he must be judging me because this is food related or this is body image related or this is exercise related or something that could be related to eating disorder symptoms. And it gets really hard to disentangle yourself from that and find your own personal sense of identity. But if there's any cheerleader for me, it's been him. He pushes me to see the great, like the all the positives in every situation we've been in. He supports me through any decision that I've made for myself from quitting my job to. I mentioned to you briefly that I've now applied to uni. And although that, that naturally has implications on him if I'm going back to study, I mean, we've recently got a dog. The fact that someone's there as your cheerleader, it makes such a difference. And I'm not saying he's not the only one, but he's certainly been a pinnacle person in my recovery and along with actually his granddad, I used to call every day when I was in treatment because you would go there from seven to seven in the day. Because I was a day inpatient, it was a bit confusing. But you spend a lot of time doing nothing in rooms and it's so stuffy and so uncomfortable. And I used to call him every day and be like, pat, I don't know what to do. He's like, go on, keep. You know, the sun is shining. You can do it, you can do it. So it is so important to have purpose and connection and know that people do believe in you. Because when you are really doubting yourself, and that's a large reason, that's a large thing. Which fueled my eating disorder with self doubt and self deprecating. It's really, really heartwarming to have cheerleaders for you because they make you see the good in such a difficult situation and something that is so painful.

I love you. Talking about his family and him and I've only met him once, and the way you talk about him is just incredible to have that support from someone. And I always say this to my boyfriend as someone who, you know, he hasn't really ever been around people with addiction, with mental health, you know, in kind of his direct family and dating me as an alcoholic and addict, I often, as you said, I would snap at him. And I understand that kind of frustration because you almost want them to fully understand where we're coming from, what's going on in our head. So I totally, totally agree with that. And I think the fact that you are so close to his family is just absolutely incredible. It just makes my heart feel so warm that you. That you have that support and, you know, kind of what you said about when you don't believe in yourself, you need other people to believe in you. Often when we're in those kind of really dark places, we don't believe in ourselves in getting up in the morning. So having someone tell you, I believe in you, I know things are going to be fine. You know, when you're in a very, very good place, yes, it's lovely to have. But when you're in that dark place on your own, hearing that from someone you love and someone that's trying to support you is just absolutely priceless. You know, we can't. I never take for granted. And from what you've sort of said, you don't either. Having that support and having that network of people in terms of sort of where you are now, obviously, congratulations, first of all, on applying to go back to university. I know that's quite a sort of.

Thank you.

Scary and kind of open thing to share, but as I said, you've always been so honest and so open about sort of what's going on. What are your sort of plans now? Where. Where do you kind of see yourself going? I know that you said there's no kind of path, but. But in terms of university, in terms of what you're doing now, the world is your oyster. What is it that you're sort of looking to do?

I know it's the paradox of choice, isn't it? So it's much easier if I was to go back to a corporate job, but I know that that would just for me sort of be giving in. So I've applied for a psychotherapy course at university and God knows whether I'll get in. But I think the fact that we should share these things, whatever happens, because it's something, if you're passionate about it and if you're excited about something, even if it doesn't come into fruition doesn't mean that it's a failure or not a success. It's the fact that you're going after your dreams and doing the things that scare the living daylights out of you. And I think this year I've decided to just do all of the things that I've wanted to do and have just been terrified to. And yeah, there's plenty of other things to do, but this was a quite a large thing and I applied actually last night I sent the application off, but it's been, it's been in the pipeline for quite a few weeks now. And I'm still teaching one to one yoga classes because I qualified last year when we were in lockdown. I just didn't bother applying for studios because they were closed and then they reopened for a tiny bit. But everybody who was a yoga teacher had took the spaces there. So I just built my one to one client base up and I really enjoy working with people in that sort of sphere. I like not, as you said at the start, I like not to not just use yoga as the physical practice because for me personally what drew me to it was mental aspect and what drives us to do certain things, different energies within our bodies, how pain, how suffering, know it's a bit deep and dark, but how that manifests within us and how we can transform that for the good or how we can at least look at it in the face rather than shoving it down so it comes up like later in life, like it did for me with the eating disorder and just allow people to have a space where they're, they're held physically and emotionally. So I'm still teaching one to one and hopefully going back to uni. It's a part time master's course so I can sort of do two side by side. So that's the hope anyway.

I love hearing your passion about what you're doing. Like your passion. Sorry, my dogs are barking in the background. This is the thing of being at home, right, and recording from home. I just, I love your passion for kind of everything that you're talking about. I think the way that you've really turned something that is so hard and so painful and so life consuming into something so positive and really being able to use that to fuel your passion, your purpose, but also to show up and help others and allow other people to have that space and feel held. And I love the fact that this podcast and last podcast, both of the guests have mentioned space, kind of having space for yourself and also having space to go into and be your kind of authentic and most honest self. And today, for the first time, I gave myself space in a very long time. I took myself out for a day date, as I call it, and I went and sat in a restaurant and had lunch on my own. And it was.

I saw your post.

It was the scariest thing. And it seems for so many people listening, it probably seems like nothing. But for me, it really felt like I'd taken that next space, next step and really allowed myself space to just kind of sit there with my thoughts, with my feelings, and kind of watch the world go by. And for a lot of people, that yoga space is exactly what I've just described. Yes, it's not sitting at a restaurant alone, but it's going to somewhere alone, going into the yoga studio and being in your own head and thinking about thoughts and sitting with your emotions for that time that you're doing your practice. So I think it's amazing that you've been able to kind of really navigate what you've been through into something so useful and so amazing for. For people that need that space at that kind of given time. I think it's so wonderful that that's kind of how it's manifested in such a positive way.

Thank you. I mean, as you said, with the space to just be, there's so many people that just don't allow themselves to be, or to just sit or to even allow themselves pleasure by themselves. That's one thing that I really notice even within myself is pleasure has to be constructed or it has to be a planned event. And maybe, you know, I mean, today's Friday. Maybe you could take yourself on like a Monday afternoon out. And I often try and do this actively to take myself on a date to try and sort of reframe my programming, to be like, hey, let's do a spontaneous trip to a coffee shop and, you know, read a book and chill out. Or let's. I've got a job, so he comes with me, so it's not quite, quite solo. But I really enjoy having him there now. Thank you. I mean, not much reading gets done. It's more staring at him because he's super cute. But they're so great to be mindful with. But like you were saying, we don't allow ourselves the space to be held or to just be or process our emotions. And it's something that I really noticed with a lot of people in London especially, and, you know, with friends, with family, with everything, they just. They. They're like, oh, I'll get onto my emotions once I've got the thing done, when they might be going through something. And the best thing that they can do is be vulnerable and be like, look, this is really difficult, but it might be difficult, but it's very necessary to my life right now. Like, me going to treatment was very difficult, but it was so necessary for my life right now. And it can be painful, and it can also be exactly right for you. I think we just always want things to be positive and happy, but unless you ride these moments and learn from them and face the things which, you know, your shadows or whatever you might want to call it, then you don't really transform and you don't get the possibility to grow or to. To even experience and navigate all these, like, waves of change within your life, because they do hold messages and meaning for you.

Absolutely. And I think you sort of hit the nail on the head there with always having to be positive. You know, I always thought I had to be positive because if I was negative, things were going to go bad. And actually, yes, I want to be positive. I want to be the kind of ray of sunshine that walks into the room. I want to be the one that kind of lights up the room. But at the same time, I have to be honest with myself. When I am feeling down, when I am feeling low, I have to allow myself to cry. I have to allow myself to sit in those really, really uncomfortable emotions. And I remember kind of in early sobriety, as you sort of talked about in the eating disorder as well, is. It's like, it is so uncomfortable. You know, I never went to treatment. I went straight to kind of therapy and Alcoholics Anonymous, but. But it was really uncomfortable. You know, the first few months of recovery are so uncomfortable. You're navigating this new way. You've tried your tactics that haven't worked, and now we're having to kind of really, really deep dive into why things have manifested the way that they have. And it's painful and it's uncomfortable and it's shit. And often we think, let's just stay where we are. And, you know, there are things that you've been through. There are things that a lot of our listeners have been through just before kind of crunch time. So I think just before going to therapy or just before going into inpatient or even kind of day to day things, you know, just before quitting a job or breaking up with a boyfriend, we often think, should we just stay where we are? Because even though it's so painful and it's horrible and I hate it here, at least I'm comfortable because I know what this feeling is like. We almost stay in discomfort because we don't know what the other outcome is.

Yeah, well, you've hit the nail on the head. We don't ever take time to consider the places we escape in order to not live in the present moment or to not look at what we feel so uncomfortable with because there's such discomfort within stillness. And we run and we avoid it and we leave the present because we just feel trapped by it. We feel trapped by, by and overwhelmed by the emotions that are involved. And I mean, I still find it very difficult. I, I know for my body I need to put on more weight and that's, that's for my body, but I still find it very difficult, even though technically I'm a healthy bmi. And it's almost, these last bits are far, far more difficult than any other aspect was because I am in effect doing it myself. And everybody has terrible body image days. Everybody does. But it's really difficult, I think when you're, you're putting on weight because it's like, well, you know, I'm only going to get bigger and my clothes definitely won't fit anymore. But it's as you said, we need to go through the shit to be able to get to the place that we want to get to. And I suppose I will have some more shit days ahead of me. Oh gosh. I didn't even ask if I could swear on this, but I've just had absolutely.

Swearing is absolutely allowed. It's most of my vocabulary.

That's fine. And, and so, yeah, and I don't have my hand being held anymore. Like now I have full autonomy about what I do, what I put into my body, whether that's like what I consume as in food or the emotions that I process. Like every single choice now is in effect my own, which brings about a lot of freedom and is very scary. And you know, yes, I have support and my support is wonderful, but I can't be sat with every hour of the day because I'm not a two year old.

Yeah, it's that, it's that hand holding. It's that we always, you know, sort of want someone to hold our hand and we, and we do. You know, I think when we grow up we Obviously have our parents around us or carers or whoever. Our primary sort of caregiver is growing up. And then we go to school and then we go to university, and then we sort of get our first job and then we sort of move out. And that's sort of how the kind of process goes. And at some point we have to let go of that hand that holds us. And often, I think as we get to being an adult, you know, even at 25, when I stopped drinking and you obviously when you sort of entered treatment, we needed our parents, we needed our caregivers to just hold our hands just for a little bit until we were kind of strong enough to go on our own. And I think it takes so much courage to really put our hands up and say, I need, I need help. I need someone to hold my hand. I need someone to support me. And I often really, really saw that as a sign of weakness, which is probably why I ended up kind of in the situations that I was. Because I knew I needed help, but I didn't want to ask anyone for help because I was too proud. So I think that there's definitely something in there that sort of says, if you need help, don't be too proud to ask. Don't be, you know, let your ego step to the side and put yourself, your well being, your health, physical, emotional, mental being at the forefront and put your hands up and say, I need help. I need guidance. I need something. I need someone else that's not just me that can really help me navigate. And I think that takes such courage to do that.

I know, but like you say, it's. We view it as weakness because we're told to just get on with things. When we're younger, we're told, you know, it will be fine. It's an older way of thinking, which we can't blame anyone for because it's the mindset that many people have grown up with through generations. You know, you just get on, you just do it. And when you feel vulnerable, you think it is weak to be vulnerable, but it's actually really courageous and it's being open. And as I touched on earlier, when I snap at my boyfriend or when I have historically, it's usually because I'm facing such discomfort and overwhelmed with emotions, and the only way I know to do that is to shut him out completely. And that might not just be him, it might be somebody else. Whereas the best way to handle that situation is to be vulnerable and just to say, I'm feeling really overwhelmed. I don't know why now? Can we talk about something else? Can we just sit here and not talk or. So he. He can meet me where I am or that other person can meet you where you're at? Because it's. It's difficult for them to know. Like, I always think I'm exposed. Everybody can read what's going on in my mind. But we're not Mystic Meg at the end of the day.

Yeah, I think that's. That's so true. And I often still do that with, you know, the fact that you're talking about kind of your boyfriend, and it's sort of just really resonating with me, with me and my boyfriend and kind of me and my family that something will happen. And I'll expect them to know exactly how I'm feeling. And at the end of it, they'll turn around and be like, you know, you could have just said that you were upset about something, or you could have just said that this was going on. But you're right. We do often think, well, they must know what's going on. And actually, it's all about perception, and it's all about how some. How we feel about something. And often, you know, someone may say something, you know, you were talking about kind of your stepfather and his comments. And I think it's really interesting that someone said something to you, but if they said it to someone else, maybe that could have been taken as something else. But because of, you know, the way we're previously kind of, you know, conditioned. So, for example, with me, when people say to me, emma, just have one drink. It's not going to kill you, I get really upset by that. I genuinely get really upset by that, because the fact of the matter is it could kill me. But if you say it to someone who's not an alcoholic, if you say it to someone who's not an alcoholic, have one drink, it won't kill you. They'll happily order a glass of wine and move on with their day. And there's no risk. Well, I'm not saying no risk, but the likelihood is they are going to be okay.

I know. And it's like, I've been out recently to, like, different parties and things. Now things have lifted and someone might. I'm like, oh, there's some. I was like, I might mention, oh, there's some food there. Do you want to grab it with me? And they're like, oh, there's nothing there I want. I'm not gonna eat. And all these comments, and I have to. But I know this is my thing to own, it's not someone else's. And I have to sit there and be like, they're not eating and they know what's right for their body. But I need to sit here and think of what's right for my body because my body needs fuel and it needs more sustenance and my body is a different shape to somebody else's. My body has different requirements, I'm a different age, I have different genetics. I need to just stay in my lane. That's actually the best piece of advice I got when I was in treatment was to stay in my lane. There was a Nigerian nurse and we were supervised every meal times. And she used to sit there, she was called Doris and she used to shout at us and say, why are you not eating? In a very thick Nigerian accent. And which I won't do because I'll be awful. And you know, they check your plates, they check your sleeves. If you've hidden anything, it's really excessive. And yeah, one day she, she looked. I was talking to somebody and having a chat over lunch and she goes, hey, you, stop talking. Stay in your lane and focus on your food. But I thought about it and I thought, stay in your lane and what good advice that is for any situation you're in because someone else might be making more money than you, someone else might be have X, Y or Z, or someone else might be doing X, Y or Z. But the whole point is you need to stay in your lane and stay focused on yourself.

I love that so much. Stay in your lane is something that I definitely, definitely need to remind myself of because I am the queen of comparison. Luckily, I have the tools and the kind of awareness and consciousness to know when I'm doing it. And I can snap myself out. But so often I find myself going, well, she's done this and she's done this. And actually we're the same age. Why has she achieved more than me? And actually we go to the gym the same amount of times. Why does her body look like this? And it's so easy, especially with social media, especially with, you know, TikTok, which actually I'm not on and I'm probably giving away my age, but all of these things that we're kind of seeing the whole time, the highlight reel of people's lives and we often just compare ourselves. It's that compare and despair. But luckily, as I said, I now have the tools and as do you to kind of know, actually whatever anyone else is doing is almost totally irrelevant to what we need to be doing. It doesn't matter what they're doing. We can cheer them from the side, we can be happy for them. But if they're successful or they're doing well, it doesn't mean that we also can't do well. And there's kind of this thought of, well, if they're doing this and they're doing that, there's not enough for me. And that's not the truth.

There's enough space for everybody. And everybody is made differently. Their path is so different. They're destined for different things. And like you say, I get annoyed. I see people like go to the gym for certain amounts of time and we all have our hang ups about our body, about our intelligence, about our finances, about the things we own. How stylish someone is, like someone's house, whatever it is, whether it's material, physical, emotional. You know, we might walk into a room and be like, oh, why am I not like, look at that girl over there, that everybody's around them, they're so interesting. I just don't know what to say because I'm having a shit day. But you know, she might have felt the same at another party.

We don't know exactly that, exactly that. And it's kind of comparing that highlight reel, whether it's in person or Instagram or anything, we often have to kind of remind ourselves that we're exactly where we need to be at exactly the right time. And everything that's happening has led us to where we are right now. Exactly what we needed has led us to this moment that's allowing us to shine. And everyone has their time to shine and everyone has their time to that it's that it's their moment, but we have to go through that journey. And some people are on quicker journeys, slower journeys, different journeys, different paths. But it's very important to kind of take a step back and realize that everyone's journey, everyone's path is so unique and so individual. And no two people, even me being a twin, our journeys have been completely different. Not better, not worse than each other, just different. And that's what's made us who I am today, who you are today, who your friends are today. And I think it's so important to really, really remember kind of where we've come from as well and where we are right now. Because it's often very easy to compare and not really compare ourselves to where we were, be it a year ago, two years ago, three years ago. So I think it's really, really important to Be able to do that and.

To feel more abundant as well. Like, for example, I remember there was a comment made as I left my job, and they said, but you get. You go on holiday all the time. You book massages, you get blow dries. You do X, Y and Z. You always have, like, they listed things. And I think the real thing is to know that these things don't indicate whether somebody is happy or not, because happiness comes from the inside, and it doesn't come from any external sources. I had a really well paid job. I had a really good routine. I had everything on paper, and yet I was struggling. And so people need to know that this does happen to just normal people who are even doing well. You know, you can be struggling and have great things happening in your life. And now I have less of those external things, and I'm much happier than what I was before. And I mean, I'm going back to uni, so I'm going to be skint again and with my NUS card or something.

I love the fact, Beth, and you probably did not even realize you said this. You went, I'm going back to uni. Not. I might be. It could be, I'm going back to uni. Like, you said that without even realizing you said that. And that's just made me, you can probably hear my smile, so happy because you're putting it out there that that's exactly what you.

You want. Yeah, I am. Like I've been saying to everybody, I'm going to university. I just, I. I really feel like it's gonna happen. And I mean, I'm, like, touching wood now and stuff as well. But. Yeah, well, listen, October 2021.

Yeah, I mean, what you put out there is gonna come back to you. So I will be thinking of it. I'll be putting it out there. And I know that you absolutely will as well. What would be your one piece of advice, Beth, that you would give our listeners?

Oh, gosh. Stay in your lane.

Love it. Love it. I think it's the most powerful thing that you've kind of said just over the last kind of 30 minutes about staying in your lane. I love it. I think it's amazing, and I think it's something that I will definitely take forward and I will think of you when I remind myself, emma, stay in your lane. No one else's lane matters.

Exactly. Exactly. Thank you so much for today.

Thank you. Now, I've loved having you on the podcast. If people want to find out how they can work with you, how you can kind of teach them yoga. Where is the best place for them to find you?

Just on my Instagram. So it's Eth Harwood with an X on the end. I think I must have put it together, like, years ago and I kept it. At least it's not like happy bunny 1, 2, 3 or something.

Absolutely perfect. Well, listen, Beth, thank you again so much for being so honest and so open about everything. As I said to you before, you're helping so many people really, really open up the discussion around eating disorders and allowing people to kind of have that safe space to be able to share. So thank you again for being so such an amazing guest on this week's podcast.

Thank you so much, Emma and I'll speak to you soon.

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