Ep 21: What would be your one piece of advice to our listeners?

Foreign welcome back to the final episode in season one of the All Is Wellness Podcast. I just want to start off by saying a huge thank you to everyone who has listened, downloaded, shared, and supported my new project in the form of the All Is Wellness Podcast. When I started the podcast, I was full of fear that no one would really care what I had to say, that no one would listen, and that it really wasn't going to benefit anyone. I couldn't have been more wrong. In the last 22 weeks, the response I received from all of you has been so wonderful. I can't even believe I'm saying last 22 weeks. It has gone so much unbelievably quickly. I've had the opportunity to sit down and speak to people about their amazing journeys, and I've been introduced to some incredible people that I've been able to interview. For this final episode, I wanted to put together all of the answers I get for my final interview question. That question is, what would be your one piece of advice for our listeners? I hope this is an episode that you can come back to and listen to whenever you feel like you need a little snippet of positivity or a little guidance from our amazing guests. My one piece of advice to you would be believe in yourself, speak kindly to yourself, and do the work. Everything you want is already yours. You can have it all for one final time in season one. What would be your one piece of advice for our listeners right now? Yeah, absolutely. My. My favorite mantra I live by every single day is, you can lay it ruin your lunch, but don't let it ruin your dinner. Right? And what my point about that is, is I'm fed up with people saying, be positive, people, positive. Be grateful for what you do have. When you're feeling back down, be grateful. You know, we've been in lockdown and people go, yeah, but just be grateful that you still have a job or you still have it. You think, no. Off. I just want to be in a mood. Just let me be in a mood. I know that I've got food and shelter and things like that, which I am forever grateful for every single day. I wake up every morning saying thank you to the world, but I ain't talking about that. I'm talking that right now. I'm in a mood. And that's where I say, let ruin your lunch. Don't let it ruin your dinner. Have a moan, get pissed off, slag it off. Call a mate and slag it off. Write on a piece of paper, slag it off. Whatever you do, just get it out. Cry in the shower, scream about it, feel victimized, literally. Write a list of how victimized you are by the world, poor me, poor me list, and then screw it up. You've ruined your lunch with that bit. Now it's dinner time. Let's have a laugh, let's have some fun. Let's look at the positives. So I think my advice is don't be positive all the time. That's not positive. Oh, happy, happy, happy. Pretend it's not there. No, it's bloody there. Get annoyed about it, chuck it out, and then move on and have a lovely dinner. The less you try and compare yourself to others and the more you're trying to learn to like, to accept who you are and love who you are and really kind of take that in and really kind of, you know, learn to figure out who you are within a person, the happier you are going to be. Like, whether or not I say what society is like, whether or not you feel like, you know, social media is putting a lot of pressure on you. Like, there is no such thing as pressure. If you don't put that pressure on yourself and you. The only two power you have in your life is you. You, like, work on you and learn to love you and trust the process. Trust that everything is where it's meant to be at this moment in time. And God has a plan for you, and whether or not you like it or accept it, it is what it is. And most the time when you look back, you look into your life, and at that time, you were like, oh, my God, I'm never going to get through this. You always get through it and you always succeed and just see life as an experience and a journey and just love yourself no matter what in that journey. And that's always, always my piece of advice to everyone, I would say everyone personally. Take a rain check. Take a rain check into who you actually are, because it's all unique. And that saying goes around a lot, but it's so true. Like, don't take the glory out of that. Who are you? What do you want to actually do with your life? What do you want to do and what makes you happy? What lifts you up? Because a lot of people go through their life asleep. Yeah. And they just go to work and come home and do those things and they're not living. I see it so often and people come to me and they're like, I just don't feel like I've lived yet. So my biggest bit of advice was live Your life. Don't be asleep to your life. Find what makes you happy and just go for it. Like, you have everything you need within you. You don't need. You don't need necessarily qualifications. You don't need this stuff. Like, I turned up to a dance college audition. Never done any of it before, and now I've danced professionally all around the world. You know, it's just. You don't need those external stuff. Everything that is right for you and everything that is meant for you is all. All inside you. So start, like, opening that up to what you actually want to do. And also have joy in finding what that is. Have joy. Like, do you want to be a tennis player? Do you want to look after animals? Like, have fun and just see that world? Is that limitless? There's so many options that you know you can find your own. Write a priority list. Yeah, write a priority list. What do you want to get done in your day? What are your priorities for your day? And look at the list. Look at the list. Because I tell you what, it's an interesting one. You start to write things down and you start to go, oh, yeah, that and that, and okay, and then put them in order. Right. Write the list and then put them in order of which is the first, the most important thing and which is the least important thing that you've got to get done that day? And you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised now, the list that you'd write versus the list you'd written before lockdown. And perhaps you'd look at it and actually the priorities are maybe a little bit muddled up. Yeah. But write a list of stuff that you want to get done in a day and in a list of priorities. Move the mindfulness and the movement up the list. If it's at number one, you're doing good, and if it's not, move it up the list. Yeah. And try that for a few weeks. See how you feel. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be right now and to move forward. That is part of the growth process. So for those who are feeling stuck in their creation and in the way that they're creating it, really, I think something that we need to honor right now as well is that everything that's coming up that's also creating this tension within us is for us to be able to heal. So there's a lot of people going through this purging process right now too, where there's, like, a lot of suppression on the emotional side, on the professional side. So I think if you are feeling stuck, don't resist it. There's nothing to fight, there's not to want to wish that anything was different. Which is why I wanted to reinforce what I just said, you know, to answer that question. Because a lot of people fight when they're feeling inner turmoil and when we're stuck, we're actually being given the opportunity to redirect our focus. So all of that is necessary to experience so we can move forward. And if we just see that, as you know, okay, we're given the signal, you're feeling stuck because you're being, giving a signal that you are not in alignment. That's how you move forward. So observe it, welcome it, welcome the pain, welcome whatever's coming up for you in that moment that's causing the struggle. And then you will learn how to move forward and be the leader in your healing process. So you can create from exactly where, where you need to be creating from. But like I said, and it kind of ties together everything about the fear and the resilience, like all the cycles that we go through, positive and negative, are essential. So that is something that we need to, to pay more attention to instead of fighting it.

Businesses that want to like, learn more about how to keep, you know, if, if a business asked me how do I keep everyone in my company happy, I would say don't bother, you know, come and work with us and we will, we will do all of that for you. Because you're never going to get it right. Like it's not no knock on you as a business. It's more that when you deal with the fact that there's so much complexity. Like Emma, you and I are quite similar in age, we're quite similar in background, we're quite similar in our interests. But equally, I would not know what would make you happy and I would not know what would make you feel well. And so as a result, you know, you deal with 100 person company or 20 person company or even 5 person company, that's enough complexity to make your job so much harder. So I would say if you're worrying about how do I keep my staff happy and what do I provide for my staff to make them happy, I would say don't bother, find a partner to do it. And obviously that partner is us. And then from a personal perspective, you know, if, if you are an employee and you are kind of wondering how you can navigate and kind of build a better, a better lifestyle for yourself at work, don't be afraid to put your Foot down and put your boundaries down. Actually, I would. As you know, in my experience, and I know it takes courage, actually putting down your boundaries is actually something that really kind of earns a lot of respect. You know, don't be afraid to say, well, that's not how I'm going to work. And then the third one is, to anyone who wants to start a business, just. Just start. One of the things that I. I do get asked quite a lot now, even though I'm not like Jeff Bezos or anything, but I still get asked quite a lot by, like, people saying that I want to start a business. And frankly, like, they really get. They really get excited by. Or some. Some of them get excited by, like, the. The business plan part and, like, the. The idea stage. And the fact is, like, and you know me because you've been involved in the early stages of Juno, like, you just have to start, but also you just got to make sure that what you're building is actually needed and. And that you constantly validating your idea and constantly validating that you've got a community of people that are willing to engage with what you're doing and then try and build it in the cheapest way possible. Like, so many people say things like, oh, yeah, well, I would do it if only I had 50k to build the app. And then you think, no, you could literally use. You could literally create a free Instagram page to build your community of people that you're supposedly helping. So my advice is just, you know, do your due diligence. Make sure that there's people that will actually, you know, be involved and be engaged and you're actually solving a problem with. With what you're doing. But equally speaking, just start and do it in the cheapest way possible. Like, all of these things, like, if only I could afford it, and if only I could do this. These are all just limiting. Limiting thoughts and ways that you can basically convince yourself not to do something. I'm only saying that because I've done that and I finally kind of just plucked up the courage. There's never, you know, they always say you're never ready. Like, you know, when they say about kids and stuff like that, like, oh, you know, you'll be ready when you're ready. Actually, the truth is you're never ready. Like, you just have to throw yourself into the deep end and. And, you know, see if you can do it or not and not be too hard on yourself if you can't. Thankfully, maybe that's me being, like, survivorship. Bias and saying that. But equally like, you know, obviously my worst nightmare is for the company to not succeed. But equally speaking, you know, I have to tell myself that, you know what? You know, you give it your best shot. You're kind of. You kind of. You're meant to fail in a way. Like, the whole idea is that you. You learn something. Not to sound cheesy, but you learn something along the way. So I suppose, you know, that's. That's my advice. God, I'm so long winded today, it's crazy.

Just stay true to yourself. Like, I know that's such a cliche thing to say. And, like, it's just one of those words. It's like, oh, stay true to yourself. But, like, just do what makes you happy. Be around people that you love. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it. Like, a lot of us ignore our intuition so much, and for me, I just trust mine and listen to mine every single day. And I think you should, too. Trust your intuition. That's my lesson for you guys. Well, the first thing is definitely you gotta back yourself. Like, and when I say that, some people think they're doing this, but I feel like if they're really honest, they're not fully backing themselves. Like, there's some kind of back door. And whenever there's a back door, there's always going to be this leaky energy. So when you have a business, for example, like, especially a business like mine, which is like my artistry and it's my soul and it's my dharma. Like, for me, if something goes wrong in the business or of, like, a launch doesn't go well, or maybe if, you know, in the past, when, you know, things were more tight financially, I just never gave myself that option of, like, oh, well, I'll just. Maybe I'll just go do another job, you know, or maybe I just shouldn't be doing this. It was just like, fuck, no, there's no other option. This has been a shit experience. But what can I learn from it to make myself even better next time? Or to understand the business more deeply? Or to understand myself more to rise up again? It's just like, those failures were not a reflection of, like, should I leave this now? Should I, Should I not be doing this? It was just like, no, there's no other option. There's no other job that I can do. There's no other path that I'm going to take. This is it. So this thing that's happening right now, it doesn't define Me, it doesn't, you know, bend the way that I'm going to go. It's just a part of my experience. So, great. What's the medicine here? What's the lesson here? How can I rise up from that? How can I be even more confident on the other side of this? But I don't think, like, a lot of people. Well, to be honest, most entrepreneurs probably have this attitude, the ones that stay in business, because you've got to be ballsy, you've got to back yourself. But I would say, like, if you have a dream, you have to make a decision like, I'm gonna go for this and not have any leaky energy around it. And that's not to say, like, there's nuance with everything. So, of course, there's been lots of times in my business where I've pivoted or I've, like, you know, had programs that I've put to rest and new ones and new directions that have come through. It's not to say, like, just keep, you know, beating yourself to do something when it's no longer in alignment, but it's. It's finding that sweet spot, I guess, where it's like, choose the path that you want to walk and choose it fully, you know, the same way, like, you know, if you're in a relationship, it's like love and intimacy is choosing that person every single day. It's not that they're going to be perfect every single day, but you're choosing them, right? You're choosing what you want to do. So I think it's like backing yourself and really owning your yes and owning your no as part of that. Have so many. I would say it sounds really basic, but it was probably the biggest mistake that I made was being realistic and just focusing on one or two things maximum at once. Be patient, be consistent with it, but don't overwhelm yourself with thinking like, you have to do everything at once. I need to sell this mailing list. I need to sort my website. I need to work with practice clients. I need to set up a podcast. I need to be hosting this many times a week. And it's all about, like, I always ask myself, like, how will I enjoy this more? And for me, I definitely enjoy things more when I'm focusing on one thing at a time and really, like, nurturing that and nailing it and making that, like, either part of a normal routine or getting it ticked off my to do list. If it's like setting up a website, for example, and actually becoming really Confident and really enjoying that one or two things. And just I always set myself a roadmap. So I'll look at like the six months ahead and I will draw like a road and I will put blobs of things when I'm going to focus. And I'm like, right now I'm just focusing on this one thing. Like, yes, I want to do a podcast, but that's three months down the line. Or yes, I want to do a free webinar, but that is five months down the line. And I think actually visually drawing it out and writing it down is a very easy way to like park things and be like, I don't need to worry about those now. I actually just need to focus on like, what am I doing this month? And everything else can wait. Like, I'll get there, I'll do it. But just focus on one thing at a time because otherwise you don't end up enjoying it. You end up burning yourself out. You get overwhelmed and just remember your why, like, why are you. Sorry, this is kind of two points. Like, why, why are you doing that thing? Why do you make that change? Why do you want to start that business? Why do you want to say no more? And really putting, putting those things first and making it exciting for you. Like me setting up a business was because I wanted to help people. It was something I was passionate about. It was something I felt really motivated to do. And when I'm overwhelming myself with trying to cram my to do list, it doesn't make me enjoy it anymore. So, yeah, always coming back to, to like, what do you. What. What is this going to bring into your life? And for me it was bringing freedom, managing my own time and having a better work life balance. So those are the principles that I need to. I'm applying. Yes. I'm growing a business and it's not just, oh, once I've built the business, then I will start having a better work life balance and I will start enjoying it more and I will start doing all these things and being this person. It's like, yeah, person now whilst are in the process of getting that, yeah, it has to be this. And I think Emma is actually very similar to your example around how you started your podcast. Yeah. So one of my. I have a lot of quotes that I absolutely love, but it's around the power is within you and no one is you and that's your power. So I love. That is one of my things that I really like. Kind of brings me peace and brings me back down to the place of like, exactly where I need to be at that moment. And every time I remember, every time I want to compare myself to somebody or get caught up in it, it's just coming back to it and remembering that whether you believe in God or the universe or whatever or however we got here, you're the only person that can be you. You're the only person with your fingerprint. You. No one else has that in the world. And there's seven and a half billion of us and there's something unique about all of us. So I think when you realize that, you realize that you've got everything within you already, so you don't need to keep looking externally. So like, just learn to listen to yourself and you'll find a lot of the answers within you already. Oh, great question. I always finish with this one and it throws everyone. I would say that if, if you were really struggling to get out of.

The confinement and the prison of your mind and you are stuck in, in.

That trauma space, which for whatever reason.

It might be something difficult in your own life, a job on furlough, your ball at home is, is to do what Emma said and what I do.

Which is write down the top 10 things and you can find 10 things. It can be as small as the.

Roof on your head when other people don't have it.

And write down the things you are really grateful for.

Is it your mum?

Is it your dad?

Is it something that happened that morning?

And allow yourself to come right back.

Into the present because at that point when you feel completely unified with the present, you'll feel peaceful and it will take away the anxiousness of the future.

And I suppose the form of depression.

That comes in when you're living in the past. So really try and focus on that.

That's a good, very good question. I feel like I'm being put on the spot right now. The biggest piece of advice, which is something that I have been thinking about a lot this year, is to keep things simple. Simplicity is honestly key, for in life we tend to overcomplicate things quite a lot. Our fears, our beliefs, the way that we perceive the world, the way that we think other perceives us, when it's only literally a perception of their perception of us, which is a really, a really like, wow, what is going on? But it's keeping things simple because really life is so, so simple when it really gets down to it. It's all about, in my belief, of course, is how much you loved and how much you were loved, right. And how much you were able to experience love. And that to me is like the most simplest thing to experience. Obviously some people have limitations with it, but when you keep things simple, life just kind of like happens for you in a very beautiful and effortless way. So that is my biggest piece of advice is just coming back to simplicity because typically when we over complicate things or we complicate things, it's just like they ended up being like the answer to our question. Questions to your problem end up being like the most simplest thing that was right in front of our nose. Make sure you are looking after yourself before you're looking after anybody else or worrying about anyone else. And that, that could be in the fitness sense, could be in life, could be in mental health. You know, I mean it could be. Make sure you are happy because if you're not, then you need to change some things. And going back to what we just said, I guess I spent years, like years and years and years feeling unhappy, not myself. And then certain things happened that were traumatic and that sort of woke me up and I sort of had a, you know, new lease of life since then. Although pandemic got in the way. But just how am I. Sorry, I'm not making any sense now. Make sure that you're happy first. Be selfish about it and do the things you want to do. Don't be influenced by the people online or your friends. Everyone's different. And make sure that, that you are looking after all your pillars of wellness, not just focusing on one because you want to look a certain way or you want to feel a certain way. A more holistic view on life. There we go. Summed it up. I think a big one is just.

You know.

Nobody cares, which sounds, it.

Sounds very negative, but it's actually incredibly positive.

And that is that. Well actually may. I don't want to go. I'll go with that.

Which is yeah, nobody cares because like I just used to think so much.

About what other people would think but.

Everyone is just so busy worrying about.

Themselves that really no one's that bothered. And it's actually very empowering when you.

Realize that because you know, things really.

Just don't matter as, as much as.

You think they do. You know, we like all of, all.

Of the kind of, or so many.

Of life's constraints are self inflicted and.

You know, like each of us at every moment have just so much more possibility in front of us than we can see. Like life feels very constrained and restricted and of course there are, you know.

Constraints for some people more than Others.

But I do think, you know, we.

All have these, we all have these.

Walls up and you know, there's so much to be said for kind of just, just knocking those down and realizing that, you know, all these things we were worried about, about, you know, what people think and all these kind of things just, just really comparison and social media cleanses because I think we've talked a lot about comparing ourselves and comparison often stems from the wonderful world of online social media and just having a look. Like if you are struggling with comparing yourself, if you are finding that, you know, you easily get triggered by different people or by different scenarios that are coming up, actually taking a check in to see who you're even allowing in your online space. I can't remember who it was, but I saw someone recently, I mean, conveniently it was actually on social media that I read this, but they said that, you know, think of your social media feed as your house. Like who would you invite in? Who would you allow to have a voice? You wouldn't allow people to come in if they're gonna make you feel a bit crappy and make you feel less than and make you feel like you need to change. So don't let them in, you know, mute them, unfollow them. It's like having almost like a cleanse of who you're allowing into your online space. I think especially because even though I don't know what stage of lockdown we're even in anymore or what phase or whatever it's called, but in this pandemic world, we're still using our phones a lot to connect with one another, to talk to each other. So it's an easy place for that comparison to kind of slip in. So yeah, I think my little tip would be if you are struggling with that, then turning to those places like social media where you're finding comparison is coming up for you and giving yourself a cleanse, allowing yourself to say, no, Rebecca from year eight that I sat next to in maths, I'm not going to watch your stories anymore because whenever I do I always feel the need to go on a diet or I always feel the need to change myself. And actually I don't need to change myself and I haven't spoken to you since year eight maths. So we're just gonna end this here, you know, like giving yourself the power to set those boundaries and not allow people who are triggering that comparison, triggering that, that self esteem review almost to like just, just block them out, just take them away. The world is not going to end if you mute a couple of people, that make you feel a bit shitty, you know? So that's my little tip.

I think there's so many pieces of advice. Okay, so the one piece of advice I would give is learn how to use your body as it. As your greatest tool in life. Your body will tell you everything, Whether something's a yes, whether something's a no, whether something's a hell yes, whether something's a no. Like you're. Your body will tell you, and it's about you understanding the different reactions and how you feel and the way your body is letting you know through different responses what the answer is. So that's probably the main thing I would tell people, because then you are literally what I call your. In the bodying process. And then you can literally become far more present, far more quiet quickly, and you get your answers far more easily and far more quickly, too.

Right. I hear you ask this question to all of your guests. So I knew you were going to ask me this question, and I was like, what's my one big bit of advice going to be? And I, like, I navigated, like, everything. And then in the end, I thought, you know what? Just give a piece of advice that I would just give to my children. Like, that's probably the most authentic bit of advice. So I think it's more about investing in yourself and taking the time to just keep checking in with yourself. Because what I think what drives you and what your values are and who you are at that time, it changes as you get older. So if you're not constantly checking in with yourself and realigning your values and, you know, what makes you happy at that time, it can be very easy to get stuck being who you were rather than the person you are now or the person you want to be. So I guess that's probably. Yeah, the biggest. The best bit of advice I could give is just keep checking in with yourself and making sure that not only are you figuring out who you have become, because as I say, we all change over time. So once you figure out who you are, but then the big part is the taking action on that. You know, once you figure out what it is that you. You now want, if it's different to what you used to want, what are you doing to now put that into action. To live the life that you. You want to live, I would say.

Have space in the morning and space in the evening. Everybody can do it, two minutes minimum, where you just create a bit of space, listen to yourself, come back to your body and understand what it's trying to tell you. With practice, you can learn a hell of a lot from just listening to yourself.

Stay in your lane. Love it. Love it. I think it's the most powerful thing that you've kind of said just over the last kind of 30 minutes about staying in your lane. I love it. I think it's amazing and I think it's something that I will definitely take forward and I will think of you when I remind myself, emma, stay in your lane. No one else's lane matters. I would say my one piece of advice would be stop beating yourself up because the diet that you're on isn't working and works for your best friend. It's not your fault. It's just something that your body's obviously not responding to and so just cultivate a little bit of kindness around that. We hope you enjoyed the final episode of the All Is Wellness Podcast Season one. I am so excited to bring you Season two very, very soon. There's going to be some big changes and some even bigger announcements during the first few weeks of the new season. Thank you again for all of your support over the last 22 weeks and we can't wait to bring you Season.