EP 5: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Fear of Failure, and Negative Self-Talk: 5 Steps to Take Control

Foreign welcome back to the Career Chronicles Podcast with your host me, Emma Nayla Weston, AKA the no BS Career Coach, Certified Coach and NLP Master Practitioner. This podcast is for the ambitious and motivated individuals who are looking to feel inspired to create a career that they love. Join me in conversation with those that inspire me the most and as well as solo episodes packed with tips and tricks that will guide you to start finding the clarity and confidence to create a career that you love. Welcome back to this week's episode of the Career Chronicles Podcast. I am so excited to jump into a topic that has become a little bit of a buzzword but nonetheless is still still such an important topic to talk about. This week we're going to be exploring all about Imposter Syndrome. I want to share with you a little bit about what's been coming up with my clients. Confidence in the workplace has been at the front of a lot of my one to one client conversations. So whether you are looking to understand a little bit more around how I help my clients overcome Imposter Syndrome syndrome, if you're looking to understand how to speak with your colleagues or bosses or senior stakeholders, or if you're planning on going for a promotion and looking for your next role, Imposter Syndrome may be something that you're battling with. So this podcast episode is for you. Grab yourself a notepad, put your phone on airplane mode and let's start to explore the practical strategies and insights that can help you become more confident in in your professional journey and start to overcome Imposter syndrome. So as I said before, Imposter syndrome is a little bit of a buzzword. So first of all, let's break down a little bit more around what is Imposter syndrome. First of all, Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt their own abilities and can feel like a fraud despite evidence of their previous accomplishments. People experiencing Imposter syndrome often believe that they don't deserve their success and can often find themselves attributing it to luck or other external factors out of their control. I want you to take a step back for a minute and think about how many times things have happened to you and how many times you have said yes, but the only reason it's happened to me is because of insert external factor as an imposter. You may also fear being exposed as incompetent or that others will discover that you're not as capable as you appear. Imposter syndrome can affect so many various aspects of life, including work, our relationships, our personal achievements, and it's really important to recognize and address imposter syndrome by acknowledging your own accomplishments, seeking that support, and challenging that negative perception that imposter syndrome wants our head to have. So there are so many different places that imposter syndrome can really stem from and I'm just going to share a few with you and I want you to have a little think about if this is where you think your imposter syndrome syndrome may come from. It may not be limited to one, it may be two or three of these. But take note of them and let's start building out where that imposter syndrome has come from. So the first sort of area that we're going to look at is that real high standards and perfectionism. Individuals who suffer with imposter syndrome often set exceptionally high standards for themselves and they often believe that any anything less than perfect is a failure. They constantly strive for flawlessness and leading to that self doubt and sense of never measuring up. Therefore wanting those high standards and perfectionism can really lead into that imposter syndrome. That fear of failure and making mistakes. There's this real intense fear again of making mistakes and not meeting external expectations. The fear of failure can often be so strong that it becomes a barrier to those struggling with imposter syndrome to actually take risks or pursuing those new opportunities. So if that's you at the moment thinking about, yes, that's definitely me. You know, I'm worried about, you know, meeting those expectations, whether it be in an interview. I'm worried about pursuing those new opportunities. That may be a bit of a red flag to you to go, actually, I think I might be struggling with imposter syndrome syndrome. The third one is that attribution bias that we sort of mentioned before, where people with imposter syndrome tend to attribute their success to those external factors. These can be luck, timing, or help from others rather than actually acknowledging their own competence and hard work. So the attribution bias undermines their own self belief and therefore makes people struggling with imposter syndrome think that actually the only reason that they are successful is because of other other people. So that's something to think about. The fourth is that social comparison. I want you to take a step back and think about when you're scrolling on Instagram or TikTok or whatever your social media platform is. You know, there's so many at the moment. How often do you find yourself comparing yourself? Do you find yourself comparing oneself to others and perceiving that everyone else around you is more capable, is more accomplished? This comparison with those online really amplifies those feelings of inaccurate inadequacy and reinforces the belief of yourself of being an imposter. I want you to really think about when you're scrolling online, how much are you comparing yourself? And just to caveat that most of what we're seeing online is the 1%, we're not seeing everyone's reality. So you are comparing your 100% reality to someone's 1%. But more on that later. And the final thing is early experiences and also those social pressures. So past experiences, upbringing, the social expectations, messages that we've received during childhood, or pressure to meet those certain standards in society can often lead to that self doubt and that persistent, persistent fear of failure and being exposed as a fraud. So there are a few other things that these can really, really lead to. As we mentioned, the main sort of big one is that imposter syndrome, but there are two others, the fear of failure and that negative self talk. So the fear of failure is again an emotional and psychological response which is really characterized by a strong aversion or anxiety towards failing a specific task or goal or outcome that we've set. It is a very, very common human experience. And as I said before, with imposter syndrome, it can occur in lots of different areas of life such as academics, careers, relationships or your personal life. And that really can stem from that perfectionism and that low self worth. So previous negative experiences, past failures and rejections, as well as those real kind of social expectations that, that can really, really lean into that fear of failure. It is a really paralyzing and limiting feeling which again, it prevents a lot of individuals from taking risks. And I want you to take a bit of a step back and think, actually how many times have I been so scared of failing at something that I haven't done it? Have you found yourself procrastinating, avoiding things, self sabotaging things, even when they feel too good, or you find yourself unwilling to step outside of your comfort zone because you're so petrified that you are going to fail at something. The second thing as we mentioned, is kind of that negative self talk, which really, really refers to that internal dialogue or thoughts about ourself that are self critical. It involves us having a tendency to focus on our flaws, our mistakes, our shortcomings, while disregarding the positive aspects or achievements in our lives that we've had. The negative self talk can really have a significant effect on our emotional well being as well as sort of self esteem and to be honest, our overall mindset, which in turn we can See, reducing our confidence impair our decision making because we're constantly talking so badly to ourselves and it can limit our potential and cause us to really self sabotage. Again, those two things are so important and really feed into that imposter syndrome. All of these things together are a general mix and sort of flow really well together. We've got that imposter syndrome mixed in with that fear of failure and that negative self talk. Now, thinking about imposter syndrome, fear of failure and that negative self talk in a career aspect, in order to really cultivate that career confidence, we have to start by understanding all of these aspects within ourselves. As any of you listening to this, you're probably not new to the world of self development, but if you are, just to let you know that self awareness in any journey, whatever it is that you're doing, is so important. So what I wanted to share with you is a few exercises and a few reflections to really start identifying your strengths, achievements, areas for growth, and really start looking at several effective ways that you can start overcoming this imposter syndrome, this fear of failure, looking at that negative self talk and really looking at those strategies to help you moving forward in your career. So again, if you haven't got your grab your pen and paper, make sure you're grabbing it to take some notes. So the first thing is acknowledging and embracing your achievements. How many of you? And I can't see you all, but I would love to see if you're sitting there, let me know in the dm. Send me a DM if this is you. How many of you ever actually sit down and acknowledge and embrace your own achievements? How many of you actually recognize your accomplishments and give yourself credit for the skills and contributions that you've made? For instance, if you Success sex. Oh, I can't even speak today. If you have successfully completed a challenge or a project and you receive some really good feedback for a colleague, I want you to sit back and think. Did you celebrate yourself when you got that? Did you celebrate the achievements that you had done in that project? So what I want you to do is I want you to create a folder of all of the praise that you've received, but also the praise that you have given yourself. We need to be really careful when we're doing this exercise that it's not all about validation from external parties. I want you to write notes about all of your achievements, write them all down and celebrate them if you haven't already. Something else I also do with my clients, which is really fun and this may resonate with you and it may be a fun little project to do is the Jar of Good. Create a jar and whenever you do something good, you write it in there and you put it in the jar. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or like an imposter, get one out. I have a jar of Good and there have been moments in my career where I've gotten every single note out because that's what I needed at the time. It works wonders. It's a silly little thing that I do, but it massively can impact and it's something that's fun and not to be taken too seriously. So those are two really simple things that you can start doing to start recognizing your accomplishments. The second one is really seeking that support from others, reaching out to mentors, to colleagues, to friends who can provide that guidance for you. For example, if you're feeling uncertain about your abilities, discuss them with your trusted co worker who can offer a perspective and help you to put a plan together to overcome this so it doesn't feel so overwhelming as an outsider. They're going to be able to offer you advice on what you should be doing and potentially help you identify the gaps. The third is focusing on learning and growing, so really embracing that growth mindset and viewing challenges as opportunities for development. By continuously expanding your knowledge and skills, you will start to build that confident over confidence over time. Consider taking relevant courses. There are so many free courses online, I cannot tell you. Time and time again, people come to me and say I can't afford to do a program. I can't afford to work with a coach. There are so many free workshops. There are so many free resources online for you to start expanding your knowledge. Starting with podcasts, starting with free workshops hosted by coaches, starting with free programs that you can get online. There are so many things. There is an abundance of free knowledge out there. You just have to go and find it and stop making excuses about why you can't. The fourth point is really challenging that negative self talk. As we said before, that negative self talk is something that adds zero value to our life. So being mindful of your internal dialogue and challenging those negative thoughts that fuel that imposter syndrome. For instance, if you catch yourself thinking I'm not qualified for this promotion, how about a reframe to I may not have all the skills yet, but I can learn as I grow into this role. I ask you how would you talk to your friend? Would you say that they're silly and that they shouldn't be going for that promotion? Would. Or that you are so Proud of them for trying. Would you tell them that they aren't good enough or would you say that they are incredible and that you're so happy for them? Challenge that negative self talk and find the ways that you can reframe. And the fifth point is sharing your experience with others. I cannot tell you the amount of women and men who on the surface would never ever seem like they're struggling with imposter syndrome syndrome. I'm talking people who are earning six multiple six figure salaries, who are running multiple six figure businesses, and they are still struggling with imposter syndrome. I really want to open up this conversation and remove the shame around struggling with imposter syndrome so that everyone at every level feels like it's okay and that they are heard when it comes to this. Those five tips are something that I have done and something that I have shared with my clients. Confidence is the cornerstone of personal and professional development. It really serves as catalyst in the workplace. And if we're struggling with imposter syndrome, we are going to find it hard to take on challenges, to express ourselves effectively and to embrace those new opportunities. Confidence really encompasses all the elements with self assurance, belief in our own ability, that positive self image, and when we can possess that confidence, not having imposter syndrome, feeling that we're, you know, talking positively to ourselves, we've removed that fear of failure. It's going to unlock doors that we did not have the key for before. It's going to unlock doors to improve job performance, effective communication, and therefore increased opportunities. We know that confidence can sometimes be hindered, as I said, with fear of failure, imposter syndrome, and negative self talk. But really recognizing and addressing these barriers is super, super crucial into unlocking your true self. These five steps below are going to be the basis of what you can start doing today to overcome that imposter syndrome, to start getting the confidence that you need to take your career to the next level. So sit down with these points tomorrow morning or tomorrow at some point, write down a few plans of action that you can take and let's start working on it. I really, really hope that you found this podcast episode useful. I cannot wait to share more with you. I'm mindful of doing these podcast episodes that are quick, that are impactful, that really give you the tools and tricks and tips that you need to get that clarity, that confidence and skyrocket your career to the next level. I am so excited about next week's podcast. We have an incredible topic lined up, so I will see you then for now remember, stay BS Free. Gain that clarity, gain that confidence and we'll see you next week. Thank you for listening to the Career Chronicles podcast. If you have enjoyed this episode, please make sure to subscribe and leave a five star review. They mean the world to me. I would love to connect with you over on Instagram am emmanelaweston I can't wait to connect with you further. Until next time, stay BS free. Clear on your goals and confident to go and get them. Sam.