116. Energy Healing For Burnout And Transitions with Candice Van Dertholen Part 2

Instead of looking at the things that we've experienced in our life as something that is necessarily negative or positive, we look at it as the experience that carried us into what was next. And it was the experience that built us into what was next.

Are you a woman in medicine feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from the personal fulfillment that you desire? You're in the right place. Join doctors Joanne and Erin as they rewrite the rules for women in medicine. Let's begin.

Welcome back to part two with our interview with Candice van der Tholen. She is a Reiki master. She helps people navigating, especially during life transitions, by reconnecting with the mind, body and spirit through grounded energy work. Thank you so much for returning for part two. Last session was so exciting. We were talking about how our own energy impacts those around us, and we wanted to unpack this and talk about some real life examples of that. And, Candace, can you share with us a story that you were alluding to? But we wanted to wait and share it with our listener about energy and its impact.

So when I was in the session, I was listening into the child, and the child was telling me, tell my mother to sing to me. And when. And I was like, okay. So I just wrote it down. I don't always know what these mean, but I. I take the notes. And so once I got back to her, I said that, you know, he wants you to sing to him. And she just started crying. She's like, oh, my gosh. I was singing to him every single moment. And the nurses had told me not to because they thought it would disrupt his inner, like, his. His volatility with what he was dealing with. And so she was in big tears, and I was like, oh, no, he wants you to. He wants you to sing to him. And it was my very first experience with doing any, any of that sort of work. And I will say that the next one was a. I'll. I'll go back to the other one. But the, the one that was a toddler, he's like 2 years old, and his mom and I have worked together on her. Her energy. And she reached out to me. She's like, I don't know what he's doing. Like, he's biting people. And I just. I don't know what's going on. And so we did a session. He was a. He was so hilarious. And he was basically saying, like, I. I have so much to say, and I don't know how to vocalize it yet. And that's what I'm doing. And, and that was like. And so I was like, nope, he's fine. He's just, he wants to tell you everything and he can't yet. Um, but that was a really fun experience which gave the mom so much rest and ease because as we're like so hard on ourselves and you know, it's like two year old first child, like wanting to do the best for them. And it was really cool because I actually did her first session with me while she was pregnant. She had found me online, she lives in Germany, and it didn't even tell me that she was pregnant. At first I just picked up on it. I was like, either you're about to be pregnant or you are pregnant. She's like, oh my gosh, I'm due next month. And I was like, yeah. And it was a beautiful bond that I felt between mother and child. It was the coolest thing I've ever. I like, I cried. I was just like crying because it's such a deep love. And so it was really fun to get to see him after the fact and to get to work with him. And he was supposed to be in bed, but I knew he'd be awake. I was like, nope, he'll be awake for this. And so he was just playing around and doing my thing. And kids, kids don't need a ton of energy work because they're so open. Anyway, um, so his, his little session was like 10 minutes long and it was just to tap in. Oh. And during that he had given me the signal. He's like, I saw, I saw signs and then I saw the word sign language. And I asked her, I said, are you trying to teach him sign language? Because it's working. And she goes, oh my gosh, yes. We've been this last week trying to teach in sign language to help offset this. I was like, yeah, just keep doing the things. Like sometimes. And that's the thing with, with energy work. A lot of times it is the confirmation that we need. It's like, oh, I'm headed in the right direction. Oh, yes. And it's the exciting part is, is the confirmations. But.

And that's. I, I say that a lot because I'm. Again, it's like this weird thing when, when we're physicians and, and I've changed a lot. I don't subscribe to it as much, but you know, it's like everything has to be in a lane and you know, it's like it has to be like, you know, your white coat perfect, you know, and I've always been Very intuitive. And I remember in my training that they would play video. So like just like a little part of an interview and then you're supposed to come up with something to say. And, and I would say whatever came to my mind. And I remember my attendings asking me like, how did you know to say that? And my answer was, I don't know. And then they would play the rest and it was, and I would always say things very different than, than the group. Anyways, that's a little side story. But, but like what I say is that because I, I joke that I said I can make it very woo woo, or I can tell you what's going on from a neurological standpoint in terms of the, the neuronal connections. And I said it. If it changes how you show up, if it changes, if you feel better, if your intention is more clear, it's working, right? Like it's it. What else, what other proof do you need if you feel better? And then that creates that energetic field so the people around you feel it better. It's immediate and of course we know how, how much it spreads and how long it lasts, but it's, it's so neat. Wow, I love that story of the kids. How cool. Cool.

Well, and to, to kind of go off of what you've been saying. There's been a deep desire in my heart to train different physicians on how to just alone set the energy of the space. It doesn't mean you need to practice energy work. It's just about setting the space for both yourself and having grounding practices after a session with a client. Because that's how we energetically reset. That's what the chiropractor does that I work with. Like, he has his grounding techniques and he's able to like show up. Because one of the things that I've learned is that oftentimes we find fault in ourselves in these different ways. Meaning if I wasn't the same as other people, then I wasn't measuring up. One of my clients had discovered that because he had immigrated in over from Japan and was in between Canada and Japan most of his childhood, he never had full identity in either place. His language was both kind of fractured in both environments. And so he kind of always felt like an outsider. And so when he was younger in America, he learned how to swim. And so, I'm sorry, Canada. In Canada he learned how to swim and he was standing in line and he was having to observe everyone because he couldn't quite understand or translate what the instructor was saying. And what we pulled forward, instead of it being what held him back in the past, it was actually guiding him into the practice that he does now, where he's a chiropractor, so because he has to be extra aware and pay attention to the body and its movements. And so while it felt like something that was holding him back in childhood, it's actually what was building him up as an adult. And so even just having that connection piece alleviated that energy imprint within his body so that he could find joy in that moment versus the old story of feeling like he was left behind. And so that freed him up to also see other opportunities for his practice. And it opened up this whole other revenue stream that he ended up creating. And it you. We don't realize how these moments in time can hinder us from feeling like we're worthy of the next thing. Little moments like that that were huge to him really shifted his whole outward ability to receive in what was next. It was really fun. He was like, oh, my gosh, I've never thought of this before. Another example of finding, even when we do generational work, I know I didn't talk about this very much, and I won't dive in too deep, but a lot of times we are carrying patterning from our parents or our grandparents, and it can go back, you know, seven generations in some texts and four in others. So it's really. It's there, and we see it imprinted over the generations. So I was in conversation with this woman, and she had become a nutritionist and a dietitian at the next point because she had an early onset of anorexia, and she couldn't figure out why. She spent years in therapy and was talking with me, and she said all she went through was a heartbreak. And then it happened. And so she didn't have any of the other supporting factors. Like, her family was super supportive. She didn't even have a desire to be thinner. And so she was, like, trying to figure it out. And when I asked, had anyone else gone through this experience, we linked it back to her grandmother, who she never met, who had a heart attack from bulimia. And so because it was shut down because nobody in the family talked about it, the experience was carried through. And she was like, oh, my goodness, I have been going to therapy for 30 years now and have never made this connection. And sometimes even just having that awareness and, like, the resolve shifts our energy. Like, she was able to then go into her work with a completely different perspective of looking at her clients. And I think that's the really interesting aspect about energy work is instead of looking at the things that we've experienced in our life as something that is necessarily negative or positive, we look at it as the experience that carried us into what was next, and it was the experience that built us into what was next. Now, this is not to minimize or downgrade any traumatic experiences. As somebody who has experienced a lot of trauma in my personal life, we never want to negate what has gone on. I'm more so talking about the ability to see personal, personal experiences that hold us back, that create these mindsets that discontinue our ability to call in the things that we're here to line to do. But, yeah, that's just a couple of things that I've. I've experienced in my practice.

I love how you flipped that chiropractor's mindset on its head and just completely rewrote that script or together rewrote that script. What he thought was a weakness was actually a strength and led him to being probably a very good chiropractor, being able to see what his patients needed him to be from that keen observation. And that's one of the things I love about coaching. When Joanne and I can share success stories of what happens when your mindset shifts, weakness becomes a strength. A closed door now opens such a story.

There something that you mentioned made me think of in so many of the stories that I hear as a psychiatrist and so many people who have struggled growing up or have been in traumatic events, and they've learned so keenly to read the environment and they can almost know what to expect even before people come into the room. And then I like, those are people that you then sometimes meet, and they're so empathic and they're so intuitive, and it's part of it like you were sharing of how they grew up and having to be in tune with reading the room as, as we kind of more commonly say, and that if we are aware of it, then we can also use it in our favor to be more aware and to even help other people that really need to say that out loud the way you did.

I was hoping that we could talk about some experiences where we're using real life examples. And Joanne, as you're talking about reading the room, I know for me, I honed in my ability to read the room better and to make sure that I was paying attention to my own energy when I worked in child abuse medicine for 10 years because the energy was so intense for the families that we were evaluating we had to be completely open and neutral. And oftentimes I thought about it as pushing and pulling energy, trying to pull out the anxiety that families were feeling and pushing in calm. And even in the day to day, I remember being on an airplane, sitting next to this woman, and her toddler was just beside themselves. That must have been under two because they were still in her lap and they were just fussing and franting. And as a pediatrician, I always just wanted to, you know, gobble up those kids, just put them in my lap, say, oh, let me help. I can shift the energy. The toddler didn't want anything to do with me. But as this mom is just getting distraught and probably worrying, what are all these people on this plane thinking of? My toddler is fussing and crying. I just put my hand on her shoulder and her back and transferred my energy, my calm to this mom who needed that support, who was traveling, I think, on her own. And you could see she was just tired. And I just put my hand on her and channeled my energy through the mom and into the toddler to just create this safe, calm space. And when the toddler had finally drifted off to sleep, the mom was able to share with me how that experience has helped her be the calm energy that her toddler needed, instead of just trying to manifest that calm energy on her own. And so that was just something where I've learned that if it seems spa. And I think I asked her, you know, is it okay if I put my hand on you asking that permission? And yet seeing circumstances where we have maybe more influence than we might think, even as a stranger, to help somebody who is in need, I think that.

That'S the more and more that we start transitioning back inward, back to ourselves and really healing through these different experiences that we might have gone through. The more that we're able to create space for community again and being able to intuitively be guided in those moments where I was in the store one day and I. I was watching this unhoused man walking around, and I could just tell. And I was seeing him, like, picking up everything and looking at the price and putting it down. And instead of, like doing anything just extravagant, I went out, I went over to the deli, and I grabbed a couple items, I went and checked, and I took him the bag with the receipt. And I said, here's this for you today. I just want you to have a meal, and I hope that you have a good rest of the day. And I was like. And I put the receipt in here so that nobody will ask you anything as you walk out. And it's just those instances where we know that somebody is needing something and it doesn't have to be this crazy, you know, huge thing, but that in itself is to be able to tune in and hear people where they're not saying something. It comes from that ability to know ourselves. And again, we have those opportunities to show up for one another. And that's what's going to be the transition that we see in the world. Because like you were mentioning in the last episode, like, we're going through so much change and transition and it's now more than ever that we need to come back to. To understanding how to support one another. You don't have to have the same views as one another to be in support of each other. And we have so much that we can share and so much ability to energetically exchange and have that reciprocal energy. There's this beautiful term called ani, and it's, it's actually about divine reciprocation. So being able to just show up and give and receive. And it's a balance and kind of to bring that around full circle. When it comes to energy and practitioners in particular, we're really good at giving. We're not so great at receiving. And so if we can again learn that balance, then we will help support each other in such a bigger way.

That was so well said. Thank you. Wow. I. I felt that all over. Thank you so much. And, and I'm here thinking of. Right. Like all so many examples that I have of me giving, like you're saying. And, and I've had. And again, I've. I'm very grateful that as part of my training, like 20 some years ago or more than that, it was part of my training as a psychiatrist to, to be empathic and what we feel and use it and kind of reading what the patient is feeling and how you're feeling and what you need to bring in the room and. Right. Like in stories I have of how I literally just visualize that energy running through me like almost like a tree with roots and then coming out and giving it to them. And also how I protect myself because sometimes that's part of the work as well. But it's been so interesting in hearing you say that in the receiving. Because I am transitioning from this practice. I've been for. For almost 18 years. I'm saying a lot of goodbyes from patients that I've been seeing for 10, 15 years. So I can understand that I am part of their lives. And sometimes we're like, oh, no, it's just my job. And I know it's not. Not like I take it to heart very seriously. And I had this patient tell me recently and it was like, so, like. Like I felt it so much. He. She was like, and I need to write this down. She said something like, you are so unique in what you do. And then she told me, I wish you can borrow my eyes so you can see how you look at me. Because sometimes I say things and you just look at me with such empathy and compassion. And just that is so important to me. And I was like, oh, my goodness. Things that we don't take. And I have been. Because it's difficult. I've been sitting with the thank yous. Right. Like, I just want to say, like, I'm not gonna be here anymore. Goodbye. Because it's hard for me as well. And I understand that this go. Goodbyes are. Are important and accepting the thank you. And I hadn't thought about it like that. That back and forth creates a balance energetically as well that. That we all need. And it's a gift that we give back to them anyways.

Yeah. And receiving energy, receiving that gratitude and being able to. We half the time we don't know the ripple effect of us just being who we are. And it's so funny, I was thinking about this in a different context with moving. You know, I'm a military spouse, so we move every couple of years. And I was thinking this morning how, like, this time next month we'll be in North Carolina. Like, we'll be in a whole new environment. And what I practice is being in so much gratitude for all of the lessons that I took in. Everything from the nature aspect of being here to just the growth that I've undergone and being in a space. And the same thing for you. You get that opportunity to be like, wow, like, look at all that I've done in 18 years and how many lives I've impacted. And it's all because you trusted your instincts versus shut, shutting them down. That gave you that ability to show up for your patients the way you have. And while it is like that ending of a cycle, cycles are hard to end. Like, it doesn't matter what kind they are there. It's because it's. It's stepping into what's next and it's creating the new energy. And you know, we all know that when we. When we end something, we make space for what's next. But it's not always easy. Right. Like, it comes with that, that grieving process of being able to move through what is next. And it's really beautiful that your client gave you that lens of perspective so that you can carry that with you. And to know. It's almost like. What I'm sensing is that it's almost like a beautiful ending way for you to say, okay, I am supported and I am able to go forward, and I can feel really good with where I'm leaving things.

So well said. And we were sharing about the ability to transition. And I know that in medicine, oftentimes we race from one thing to the next, one patient to the next, one chart to the next, without a pause, without a healthy transition. And, Candace, you were sharing how you helped a provider learn to reset and how to energetically reset. And I was wondering if you can help our listener understand how they might be able to bring that into their own practice.

Yeah. So again, like, with everything in energy, it is all about intention. And so we start with. I started by guiding him on how to. How to set the energetic state space to begin with to allow for the support of his transition. So a lot of times we're transitioning because we don't have enough time or we don't have the ability to know when to switch. So it comes back to tuning in with the self to know, okay, I know that I need to prepare at least five minutes of transition so that I can reestablish my grounding. And. And so we started with a setting, the energetic space. And we do this through intention. You can take five minutes at the beginning of your day and just again, whatever you want to intend into the space, whether that is supportive space for your clients, the ability to communicate with these. There's so many things I could list, and I'm so happy to, like, provide stuff if anybody wants it. But. But the thing is, is just set the intention for the start of the day. Then as you're ending again, intend for yourself to end things in a manner that will give you the space to then transition into the next client. And what that can look like is once they're either out of the room, either you can shift out of the room for a few minutes if that's. Or if you are shifting into a new room, before you go into that room, give yourself just even two minutes to just ground. And what this looks like is just you can envision holding your heart space, just a hand over your heart, and think of your. Your feet physically being on the ground outside. You don't actually have to be outside, you can just think it and think about how to just root in, breathe in, pay attention to your breath, and then from there. Okay, I need to reset. I intend to show up with purpose and passion for this next client and then breathe and move. It doesn't have to be an elongated process. It can be two minutes, it can be five minutes. It's really just about intending to show up as the next, you know, the next best version of yourself for this client too. Right. And that's what has helped him, is being able to first see, set his own, like his office, actually to be supportive of that. So a couple of plants, maybe he'll do some music for a little bit if he has enough time. But having meditation practices in there built throughout his day, and it's. It's not like I said, hours long. You don't have to go sit on the mountain to get meditation. And you can do it in five minutes and it will do you wonders.

That's incredible. I. I know that we both, Aaron and I, help doctors through transitions, and I hear a lot the. I don't have time for that, like, or you don't get it. And it's like, I have students with me all the time, nurses with me all the time. And I love these examples because it's things that we can do in silence in a couple of minutes. Even when people with people around us and, you know, they might, they might not know them, like, okay, I'm here.

Getting grounded, or you can even, you know, incorporate it into your practice. You know, you're guiding students on how to maintain their energy while not set them up for success and prevent burnout in the future generation of saying, you know, it's okay to take a break, because when we're thinking in that way, we're thinking, oh, I need to do this, you know, to, to get through the day. But you're guiding them in that way to set those boundaries, to give themselves that leeway so that they don't end up repeating the same pattern. And that's how we disrupt the industry by like supporting it higher. Right.

I love that idea of that role modeling. And it reminds me when I went to see my physical therapist recently, and based on some of the ideas that I've shared with her, I don't coach her, but we always share ideas. She was a guest on our podcast and shared this idea that breaks will actually make you more productive. It pops your decision making to the top of the its capacity. If you have no breaks, you're basically choosing to Function at the lowest end of your decision making. And there's a graph in the book. The one thing that I share with my clients all the time about what happens when you take a break again, it pops you back up to the top of your decision making. So she calls them productivity breaks. And if she has three minutes between now and when her next patient is coming in, because she oftentimes keeps up with her charting in real time, she'll go take a quick walk and grab a colleague, go take a quick three minute walk around their parking lot, get on outside, getting off the screen, recharging. And again, her term that she came up with is this is a productivity break. It's not being lazy, it's setting the intention and transitioning her in a very healthy manner. And I just love that. And she works in an environment that's very supportive of supporting its staff and healthy practices. So, so they're sustainable. What do you mean you're taking a three minute break to step out of the office and boost your productivity with the air quotes on. So I love that. And it's also role modeling for other providers that this is a healthy choice.

Absolutely. And I think that I, I'm trying to remember which book it was by Daniel Pink, but Daniel Pink talks about this in, I think it's when, I think it's his book when about, you know, understanding the way in which we operate but also being able. They did this whole study about surgeons and like when they should actually do surgery. Oh my gosh, might want to listen to it anyways. But what they found that was helpful were the breaks. It's literally being able to reset the brain and the body and the energy and, you know, we can use the data from science to help support and elevate our practice. And that's something that I, I like to hit home hard because even if you don't necessarily meditate or think of energy work, you can still allow that ease to come back into your body through the data and science that has been provided.

And this is so important and I hope that you are all listening to the messages that keep on repeating throughout this podcast of the importance of rest our intuition, getting in tune with our energy, resetting our space, setting ourselves up for success to help our nervous system to work better, that it's, we have to break this cycle of just being busy, busy, busy, how many patients we're going to see or right like those outside measures of success and really redefine how we want to feel and how we want to show up and how all of this micro actions, this interventions can help us feel better, be healthier, show up, better, be better doctors, better family members, better parents, everything. And it creates ripples of change throughout and feeling it around. So. And the importance of those tiny moments that can make such a big difference and connecting with gratitude and this beautiful energy that we all carry. And we could talk with you on and on. Candice, is there something that we haven't asked you that you, like, would want to add here so that we don't miss anything?

Yeah, I think the biggest thing is the rewriting of the standards that we've placed on ourselves. Even just hearing you say, how many patients can I see? Well, the reality is that less and less people are going into practice and doctors are feeling this. I know, I can only imagine from having a mother that's in the field. And, you know, the. There's so many other complexities. Right. So it's more about how can you optimize yourself in an industry that might not even necessarily be supportive of these choices, but it's almost a requirement at this point and being able to again, reframe that standard in your own practice because you do have that power of choice to say, yes, I can still see X amount of patients per day. And in between those, I'm going to give myself a break because I need that. Otherwise I'm only showing up as a quarter of myself versus fully present.

So, so good. And we asked you in our last episode, but can you repeat where can we find you?

Yes. So you can always connect with me on LinkedIn. I love to have conversations there. Or you can reach out to me through Instagram. Again, I'm really active in the stories, more so on Instagram, but I'm always open to conversations.

And we'll make sure to add the links to the show notes, so don't miss those out. And I feel great after this conversation. I hope that you all feel the same. Like, I feel the energy shift and this is so powerful. And thank you very much and please stay tuned because our next episode is coming right up.

Do you want exclusive resources and the opportunity to connect with us? Then visit createmeaninginmedicine.com now where you'll dive deeper into how you can create meaning in medicine. And if you're serious about optimizing your results, take two quick steps now. Number one, connect with us on the website and number two, tune in to the next episode.