126. Stretch, Breathe, Realign: A New Approach To Physician Wellbeing

We need to give ourselves permission to pause, check in and realign. And this is how we lead, by example, not through perfection, but through presence and authenticity.

Are you, a woman in medicine, feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from the personal fulfillment that you desire? You're in the right place. Join doctors Joanne and Erin as they rewrite the rules for women in medicine. Let's begin.

In this episode, we are going to continue the theme of wellness and well being. And I'm so excited to interview my Amazing Co host, Dr. Joanne Sotello, psychiatrist and physician coach. And she's going to help us unwrap the whole self approach to wellness. And Joanne, this can be such a big topic. Give us a few places where we can focus on to get a better handle on this topic of wellness.

Thank you. Erin and I would like to start with the overall concept because in the rush of modern medicine, women are often praised for their strength, productivity and ability to keep it all together. We're experts at that, but rarely are we asked how are we really feeling in our bodies, our minds, in our daily lives? I know that you and I, when we coach women in medicine, we do a lot of let's go back to the basics work because we're really good at intellectualizing. We're not as good as getting into our emotions and where we're really at. We're trained to take care of others health, but what about our own? And we love talking about what wellness is, but we also have to remind ourselves that it's beyond what we're eating or how much we exercise, our sleep, even though those are obviously very important. It's also about how we live in our bodies, how we manage our energy, mental and emotional, just not just physical, and how we are connected to our true self through all the seasons of our lives. I was recently getting interviewed in this platform, it's like a mental health platform. And we were talking about women's health and we're talking about hormones and sexuality and full range of women's health in terms of hormones. And it was interesting kind of thinking of what are those things that we're going throughout our lives and when we're in our 20s that we're kind of identifying ourselves and that very intense growth versus in our 30s when, right, like a lot of us have kids and we're kind of settling in our careers and then versus when we're in our 40s and 50s, that then we start seeing different challenges. And a lot of our audience, including ourselves, are in that category where we're having transitions in relationships. In our jobs hormonally. So it can be challenging in many ways. So we have to have all of those things into consideration with a lot of compassion. How we like to say here, because it's not just what we know intellectually, but really checking in with ourselves in this seasons of our life. And of course as a psychiatrist I always have to say be mindful of your mental health and not mental health like there's a problem but really not just what do you need to do for your body but then also how are you thinking, how are you feeling and, and all the things that, that get in the way. And I like, I, I like to think of a few other things. If we think of wellness as preventative, proactive and sustainable, that we, we need this regular emotional check ins. Like we really need to start normalizing that because we don't. We are so good at doing, doing, doing. And how often do we really ask ourselves how am I doing? What do I need more of? What do I need less of? Erin and I were talking about that just before we started recording of in this transitions. We have to be very mindful of the things that we add to our plates because we're so good at saying yes because we have a serving heart and we don't always come back and check in. And we're also really good at pushing through and just the hustle, but then kind of checking in into regulating and recovering and realigning. So those are some of the really important conversations because we end up really disconnecting from our bodies and how often we've talked about that before that we, especially those of us who are physicians, we learn how to disconnect from our bodies and that's a real wellness thread, especially as we get older. We were having that conversation yesterday of a few of the women saying I don't even know when I have to go peeing. Like it's, I can hold it for hours. And then all of a sudden it's like oh no, I gotta go right now. Right. Like a little too much information. But it's all into that same category of how we've pushed our body to do what we do. And then all the things that we really need to get back to beyond kind of what we talk about going back to the basics. And then if we, if we given a little bit more of an emotional twist than a mental twist, also thinking what are those stories that we're carrying from a long time ago that really charges they're so heavy and how that's affecting us neurobiologically even, and how we can that this level of wellness really requires us to look inward and redefine what wellness even means. What do you want it to mean? Very different when we're in our 20s, that we might be worrying about how good we look in jeans or in a bathing suit versus now that you might be thinking, I want to go on a trip and walk for a few hours while we're getting to know a city and feel good and wake up without a headache, all those important things. And this got. I said, I'm just going to give you an introduction. And I kept on going on and on and on. Erin, tell me your thoughts. I'm sure that you have a lot of things to add to this conversation.

So many notes. What I loved is that you oftentimes bring out the unexpected, the things we forget about. So one point that really resonated was as physicians, as women in medicine, we are trained to ignore everything, including when we need to sleep, when we need to eat, when we need to relieve ourselves, when we need to socially connect. All of those things go out the window because patient care in our training takes the front seat and everything else goes in the backseat. And nobody says, once you become an attending physician, once you're done with your training, hey, now's the time. Put all those things back on your radar. And oftentimes it may be decades before it's like, wait a minute, I'm not doing well. So I love how you point that out. Then we sometimes need to relearn to prioritize, especially for ourselves, just as we would want that for our patients to do that. The other thing I love that you pointed out is paying attention. As women, we are cyclical beings, a little different from our male counterparts. And when we can pay attention to the cycles of our day, of our weeks, of our months, and even the seasons, when is the season for growing? Think about the earth and their seasons for growing, their seasons for harvesting. There's seasons or even rest, my friend. So I love that you point out those parts of our lives that we often overlook unless somebody's putting it right in front of us to say, hey, remember, you have needs. Hey, remember you have cycles. And which decade of your life are you in? Let's find the right match for where you're at. So powerful. And I would love for you, Joanne, to dig a little bit deeper into what. Why is it so important for women in medicine to make sure they're paying attention to their entire being?

For women in medicine, this whole self wellness isn't optional, it's foundational. And this is so important. I'm going to say it again. This is not optional, it's foundational. Especially as we're getting older, we have to take care of ourselves with a lot of intention. And this is not just to start feeling better if we're not feeling well, but this is, I, I think of it almost like a sense of responsibility for ourselves, for those around us, for this important work that we do. And then on top of that, of course we avoid burnout. We can model what healthy truly looks like. We lead differently and we live more fully. So it's all so many important things. And then we also think of how many roles we take as women in medicine. A lot of us are leaders and you don't need a position to be a leader. We're healers, of course, we're role models in addition to then our roles at our homes. So, so many things that we're responsible for. But we cannot forget that we're also human. I love to say that often it's like this is you being a human. And that even though we are very resilient and we have so many things that go in our favor, we can give from an empty well. We talked about that many, many times. It's so important and we can think of it also. And we'll be talking more about us as role models. But wellness needs to start with us. We, we need to have that sense of responsibility and we need to practice. It's going to help us practice with more integrity, longevity and fulfillment. And it goes back to what I was saying before of redefining what health means in our own lives because it will look different from person to person. And I love saying this, we need to give ourselves permission to pause, check in and realign. And this is how we lead by example, not through perfection, but through presence and authenticity.

That's some powerful stuff right there, my friend. So you've shared about some areas to focus on in this topic of whole self approach to wellness. You've shared some reasons why it's so important specifically for women in medicine. So now the kicker question is what can we do about paying attention to those things? What are some specific steps or tools that we can use?

So the first one I've already said, but I'm going to repeat it as a step is this emotional check ins. And I know you might be saying, yeah, Joanne, you're saying that because you're a psychiatrist. No, these are well studied things and tools that if just asking yourself On a regular basis, how are you feeling? Then asking again, how are you really feeling mentally and emotionally? And then of course physically and even just naming it in detail has been shown to really help in overall wellness and even avoid symptoms of depression and anxiety. So this can be very, very powerful. And not yourself know how does it feel in your body? Or do, are you more distracted? Do you get your ears red or you start feeling restless? Like start paying attention to what happens in your body or your thinking to allow you to have that be kind of like a trigger to check in or ideally do the like the pit stops like they do in, in racing. That that should be ideal. So it's a big, big one. Then another one that we've talked many times here is whatever your favorite flavor of nervous system regulation, like breathing, exercising, meditation, stretching, walking, sitting in silence for a minute, whatever tells your central nervous system that it's o. Everything's okay, that you're safe and calm down really. And we talked about our parasympathetic nervous system, which is what we want to activate, to really slow down. You know, I love to talk about exercise and all that, but think of it more as movement with meaning. So it's not that phrase of no pain, no gain. If it activates you feeling like you have to white knuckle or it's like a punishment, it's not gonna help. Rather think of intentional movement to stretch walking. But it is important. We cannot avoid that. And then of course thinking of the mental reframing. Right. Like the more of the mental exercising of paying attention to that inner dialogue and see if there are some thoughts that you can rephrase with compassion, not judgment. And that's a really good mix of things that you can do that you can hear. That's not something that's super difficult. It's not easy in the sense that we have to get into those habits. But it, that's a really good place for us to start to think of this whole self wellness.

So good. And Joanne, I just wanted to highlight again some of the things that stood out to me when you were sharing those five different things that we can do. Specific actions, none of them are complicated. Some of them are very simple and easy and take just a few moments out of your day. And what I love is that knowing yourself, paying attention to those triggers. Oh, I have that pit in my stomach. Oh, my face is all flushed. Oh, I, I'm in irritable. What is that telling me? And let's not ignore what our body's telling us and Say, oh yeah, when this happens, I know I didn't get enough sleep, I know I'm hungry. Simple things. And then pay attention and then fix that thing as quickly as you can to get yourself back to like a homeostasis. Love that. Pay attention to your triggers and that reflection. And then I love what you talked about, movement and walking. Joanne and I follow some like literally the top two personal development coaches in the world, Brendan Burchard and Ed Mylett. And I was in the room with both of them on stage just last week. And one of the most powerful areas that Brendan shared about his, like the top unconventional way that he has built, leveled up is simply stretching three times a day before a meal. He does this, you know, simple stretches. A cat, cow, a child's pose, happy baby, you know, like very simple. Maybe it takes 10 minutes, 15, I'm not sure. Three times a day. And he says that was the number one thing that has up leveled his ability to walk on stage for 12 hours a day to work out and not get hurt. All of these things that, that one choice of his and it's so simple. Could we all stretch three times a day? Once a day? I know after I heard that I thought, okay, I'm going to do this at least once or twice a day and I'm making that a priority. And then Ed Mylett again, another world renowned coach, when they were having this conversation about his habits are, he said, I'm in my 50s and my health is not as good as it could have been. And now I'm trying to fix the things that I was ignoring. I wish I had taken better care of myself, ignored some of the hustle culture and paid attention and really talking about movement. Like you said, it's kind of movement as medicine. Walking, moving our body and stretching, we can all do that a little bit more. Park further away in the parking lot, take the stairs instead of the elevator. We don't have to go to the gym. And again that uncomplicate it, make it more simple and just trying one of these things. So powerful. I appreciate all of these great nuggets of wisdom you've shared with me and our listener. Joanne, is there one more piece of advice that you would like to share on this topic?

I will say a big one. Invest in support, whether it be therapy or coaching or even peer circles. These are not indulgent. They are essential for your well being. So we've shared a lot of resources. Both Erin and I are coaches, so feel free to reach out. We have some really exciting things coming up and it's totally worth the investment. Erin and I wouldn't be here if we hadn't made those big decisions in our lives. So I always encourage taking that big decision for your own well being and for those around you.

Yeah, let's not do it alone. So powerful. Well, with that you've shared with us about the different aspects, about paying attention to not just our intellect, our bodies, our minds, our emotions. Also about that it's not optional, it's foundational. And even as we get older, so much more powerful. And then the steps that we can take, so much wisdom. And with that, we would love for you to stay tuned for our next episode because we've got some more wisdom coming right up.

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