129. How To Simplify Decisions And Reclaim Your Energy

We might think there's one right decision, and oftentimes in life there isn't one right decision. Make the best decision you can based on the information you have and then get behind yourself. Quit second guessing.

Are you a woman in medicine, feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from the personal fulfillment that you desire? You're in the right place. Join doctors Joanne and Erin as they rewrite the rules for women in medicine. Let's begin.

How many hours have you spent in the loop of should I or shouldn't I? What if indecision is costing you more energy than the actual decision? I am here with my Super Co host, Dr. Erin Hurley, and in this episode, she's going to help us understand how making better decisions isn't just a productivity hack, but it's also part of a very powerful wellness practice. So, Erin, I'm gonna go right into the first question, which is why is it important for women physicians to be more aware of how they make decisions?

Decision making is such an important part of our lives as a physician. Think about. Sometimes you are making decisions, life and death decisions, and yet we have something called decision fatigue. And now I pay much more close attention to the budget of my decisions and have a process so that I'm not wasting a bunch of my decision making on things that don't matter, especially early in the day and making sure I'm paying attention to that budget. Because specifically, most women physicians, when I do an intake form and find out where is your energy? Their energy is usually like a three out of, on a scale of one to 10, that is not a lot of energy. So we have to be careful how we spend it. We don't want to waste a bunch of time on silly decisions. So we have limited energy. The women we work with also have limited time. So as you said, how much time are we spending in indecision versus can we get to a quicker decision? And we also impact. Like I said, you can make a life or death decision. Make your decisions can have a life or death impact at their most impactful. And you're making decisions every day for your patients, for yourself, for your family, if you're a parent, for your kids. And each of those decisions can have great impact. So how about if we learn some things that help us get to the best decisions as quickly as possible with the least impact on our time and energy?

That is so, so good. I think of the women in medicine that I coach, and these are some of the things that come up that relate to this. It's kind of similar to what you're saying of the cognitive overload because we're making so many decisions, we're thinking all the time and it is draining and we're going to feel it physically as well. And I also think of, and I see this a lot almost at, in every coaching call, how that indecision feeds stress. Right. And I see that as a psychiatrist as well, and how draining it is to sit with delayed decisions. We sometimes believe that not making a decision is the way to go because in the moment it might seems like that's easier, but it's the way I think about it. It's almost like when you have a TV on, on, on a random room and that it might not be a big deal, but it's draining some energy and it adds up. Goodness.

And I'm going to share. For those of you watching on YouTube, there's this book called the One Thing by Gary Keller with J. Papasan. And the most important page in that book for me is on page 69 of the version I have. And I'm going to show it to the camera here. Let me see if I can show this. And it basically shows it's got three lines kind of decreasing. So it starts at the y axis around 60% and going down to 0%. And then the x axis is going from a time of a workday. And this is a study about Israeli judges, parole judges. So I think it was every four to 14 minutes they're getting asked, can I get parole? Can I get parole? Can I get parole all day long? And what this line shows is when they start out their day, their default answer is, no, you don't get parole. You're still a danger to society. No, you don't get parole, you don't get parole. So their default answer was when they have a lot of decision fatigue is no, you don't get parole. The highest level of saying yes to parolees is around 60 or 65%. And what they found is the only times the judges had the capacity in their decision making was at the beginning of each session of their day. So their day was broken down into three segments. First thing in the morning, those parolees had a 60 to 65% chance of getting a yes. And, and then it quickly went downhill to close to a 0% before that judge's next break, which was their late morning coffee break. And then same pattern happened. The yeses popped up to close to 60%, quickly declined to close to 0% before the lunch break. And then after their lunch break again. That's when the fastest Decline happened at the end of the day where they're, you know, wherever close to 60% quickly dropped down to somewhere. It looks like maybe it's 10 to 15% in. And at the end of the day, we're back to giving almost 0% of yeses. Very powerful demonstration of decision fatigue. And so thinking about what's the decision making load of your day? How many decisions can you remove? Some of those. And the way to help us better maneuver through decision making, if we have a strategic plan.

Yeah. I'm here taking notes in my brain of all the things that you're saying because it comes up over and over. And I'm also thinking of like us as physicians, like how is it throughout our days. Right. And I know there's been studies of outcomes from surgeries and what's the difference between surgeries at the beginning of the day versus the end of the day? And wondering that it's not just about being tired, it's this decision fatigue as well. And the how then even things that could be automatic become more of a thought process and that, that decision making. Wow. And so talking about that, what are some actions that we can take to make better decisions, I broke this down.

Into what we can, what we should be doing more of, and then what we should not be doing in order to create better decision making. And Joanne, you talked about some of the things we can do in your episode. It was 128. When you talk about slowing down and ways to trigger our parasympathetic system. We can get very creative with our decisions and problem solving, which is a group of decisions we make when we are in our parasympathetic nervous system in that state. I'm going to point to the front of my brain. We are in our executive functioning frontal lobes. When we are in a fatigued, stressed out state, then that part of our brain shuts down. And now I'm pointing to the back of my head. We're now in our more primitive, I call it the rat brain that is more instinctual, not creative. So we can intentionally pour into our parasympathetic nervous system in order to make better decisions. And I'm not going to go into all of the possibilities that Joanna talked about. Meditation, using our breath, taking nature walks. Go back and take a listen to episode 128 and get lots of great input on that. Another way we are taught to be independent in our medical training. And yet seeking input from others is something I highly recommend. I know that when I started working with my first one on one coach eight years ago, I was much more likely to be indecisive, even though I was in a leadership position, even though people depended on me for my decisions. And yet I wasn't as good as I am now about making those decisions because I had a paid, trusted, well qualified professional as my performance coach who was helping me. I could bounce ideas off of her. She was dedicated to my success. So maybe that's not a coach for you, but that's somebody who can help you in decision making or help you get better at decision making. A therapist, a colleague, a mentor, a friend group. This also happens in our group coaching sessions. So doing less decisions solo and getting input can help you come up with better decisions sometimes and also help you get to them more quickly. And then also, maybe this should have been the first one. Get clear. If you don't know what you want your outcome to be, how are you supposed to make decisions to get you there? Randomness, unintention is not going to get you the results you want. So the first thing is to spend time getting clear. What is the most important goal of your day or what is the most important goal by making these decisions and then start from there and then figure out how can you make the best decision. So those are some of the things I would like you to consider doing when you have decisions to make. And now there's the list of what should we not be doing? One of them is, let's not make especially important decisions alone. And sometimes that might be, I have a complex patient and asking a colleague, have you dealt with this before? What do you think? This is what I'm thinking of doing. What are your thoughts? So getting some feedback and then they might be like, oh yeah, I would totally do this. And it, it aligns with what your thoughts were versus having a totally different answer that might expand what your decision or problem solving was going to be. The other thing is be judicious with how you spend your decision making. So my understanding, Steve Jobs, I think Mark Z. Zuckerberg tended to wear the same clothing day after day. Right. I'm going to grab a pair of jeans and my black turtleneck if you were Steve Jobs. And then he doesn't have to make a decision. So even simple things like having a limited wardrobe, choosing what you're going to wear for the week on Sunday so that that decision is done and you don't have to tap into that during your work days, that's a simple thing that you can do. And I know I was sharing this with Joanne, before the recording, I know when I'm going on a vacation and I cannot make a decision, what am I going to bring and what am I not going to bring? And I feel an enormous checked on suitcase. That's a sign you have way too much decision fatigue. And letting myself know, my awareness say, hmm, what are you going to do about that? What can you take off your plate? And one of the way too common ways that we waste our decision making is I got my hand and I'm flicking on my hand. Like having our devices, our electronic devices and scrolling, it zaps our energy. And so if you must spend time on your screens, especially on social media, scrolling or doom scrolling, whatever you want to call it, I would recommend that you carefully place a limited amount of time at the time of day that makes sense. If you have critical decisions to make during your workday, then I would highly suggest you put that at the end of your day. Because what if doom scrolling is stealing the power from a life saving decision that you need to make for your patient or an important decision you need to make for your family? And you just wasted a bunch of that decision making on something like social media. And, and if we're not aware of it, you didn't know that's our role here on this podcast is we want our listener to be aware of the things we've learned because we don't want you ruthlessly or, you know, carelessly spending your decision making on things that may negatively impact important decisions for you. So that's my thoughts on the do and the not do list. When it comes to decision making.

I like that dividing in between the things that we can get better at and then maybe the things to start limiting with, with a lot of awareness and kind of giving this a twist because it's something that I think about a lot and I, and I help women with that. It's the cost of not making a decision. Tell us about that.

Well, how about a compare and contrast to, to share that thought? So the cost of not making a decision, it's like you're carrying this weight around for days, weeks, months, years. And so I remember meeting with a potential client, we had a session together and they knew they needed some help. They thought that the help that I offered was exactly what they needed. They were ready to go, they were getting the finances together. And then something came up and they made a decision to support another family member with their time, energy and finances. And so they paused and yes, I still want to do this. And then they were in this Limbo. And the limbo has lasted years. And I think about that person and I go, I wonder, I hope they found support that they needed. I hope they're not struggling like they were when we chatted. And they had so many things going on. Because I care about this individual. And so there's this stretching out and maybe they still haven't made the decision or maybe they have and there's power behind being able to make a swift decision. So to contrast that, I had a client who saw my ad. They reached out. How do I schedule a call with you? We scheduled a call, they signed up for my program. And literally within two to three weeks of meeting this individual for the first time, she was having huge breakthroughs when she re. You know, when I said, can you rate, like, where was your life when we met? I think it was either 1 to a 2 or a 2 or to a 3. On a scale of 1 to 10, can you share with me where we're at now? 5, 6, 7 regularly. And we haven't known each other that long. And I just think, hallelujah. Thank goodness she was clear on what she wanted. She knew what hadn't worked and she knew she needed to do something different in order to get a different outcome. And it just makes me excited to see that it's possible. When we can be decisive and then get behind that decision and move forward with it. That's magic can happen.

Wow. I love that. And it makes me think of, I'm here thinking of some of the women that I've coached and how coaching is such a powerful tool to help us through this decision making process. Because it is true that sometimes it's very straightforward and sometimes it's heavy. We make big decisions all day long. And I think we talk a lot about how coaching helps with awareness, but then it's even the awareness that we're spinning in indecision. I know that that's something that I as a coach can help the person I'm coaching pick on. It's like, okay, we've talked about this before. It sounds like you're getting stuck in that indecision. How can we notice it earlier and shift faster? And that's such a nice coaching tool. And that's kind of part of what I heard you talk about in that example. And then of course, with the coaching, if you're clear in your values, if you're clear again, this is my broken record in your priorities in this season of your life, it's so much better to make decisions and the permission to be imperfect. It's the progress over perfection that we talk about in that we talk here. And celebrating that deciding is a win all by itself. This is a very powerful conversation. I'm glad that you brought it up.

Erin and I talked about this in episode 123, when I talk about what we can do with Calamity. And I shared the story of when my mom was in her final days with Alzheimer's and we didn't know did she have two days, two weeks to live? And my sister called, it was sometime in the afternoon and said, hey, hospice called. Mom's in her final days, and I'm moving her to my house. And I'm like, I was very clear this aligned with my values. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for mom. Quickly assembled my kids because I was working from home. It was during COVID said, hey, kids, who's going and who's not? You know, let's talk about the pros and cons. We made a decision within 30 minutes. I called my boss as I was packing my bags very quickly, and we made it on the very last flight of that day, and we were out the door within less than a couple of hours. And I had to get my husband to come home to watch my youngest. There was all of these decisions. We were rapid fire making these decisions. And because we were able to do that, we made it on the last flight. We were able to be there the next morning, which was my mom's last lucid period. And that was after I'd been working with my coach for probably three years. So I had gotten very quick at making decisions, easy decisions and tough decisions. And there was lots of decisions and actions that needed to happen in order for us to be there by that next morning. And I'm so grateful because had I not been able to make those quick decisions, had I not been able to support my family in making quick decisions and then following through, my sister wouldn't have had me there with her. My kids wouldn't have been there to experience that time to be there with their grandma the last time. And even though we were dealing with the death of my mom, it was a beautiful experience filled with love and connection and support. And I could have missed it had I taken 30 more minutes to make any of those decisions. And I'm just so blessed. And the. The time and the money and the energy that I spent with my coach in the three years leading up to that, how lucky was I that I said yes to that? And how lucky Was I that I put it to one of the ultimate tests, life and death. Am I going to be there or am I not? And being able to follow through and making a very impactful set of decisions best supported my family.

Yes. And I like to make the distinction that you made a very thoughtful, intentional, intuitive decision. Not impulsive.

Right.

Like when we say fast doesn't mean impulsive. It was actually quite the opposite because you had the awareness, you had the clarity and you had the tools. And that's a lot of what we do in, in coaching too because it's we, we can have the tools. Right. Like I, I know I teach a lot of these things and I have awareness of when I need help. That's been one of my biggest tools in all the decisions I'm making in this time of my life. So it's so important. So I like that we brought up that this topic of the compassion that we need to have for ourselves, that we are making decisions all day long and that at brain it's going to say like you said, what was the, the phrase you used? The budget of my decision making. And, and I, I love that kind of way to think about it. And then how it relates to our energy physically, mentally, emotionally that we talk here and kind of focusing on. I'll say it first to what you said of first of all being very clear. Come from a place where you're calmer. We always make better decisions when we are in a better place, Em. And again tapping into our community. Seek input from others. And I love the simplify your life as much as you can so that you save that peak decision making for what's more important that day and minimize where you're wasting that decision making like in the scrolling. This is very powerful. What else would you like to add Aaron, that you haven't told us yet?

Those of us with perfectionism brains or recovering perfectionistic brains, we might think there's one right decision. And oftentimes in life there isn't one right decision. And so I would encourage you to gather the information, check in with other people, tap into your community, the people who can help you make the best decision and then you make the best decision you can based on the information you have and then get behind yourself, quit second guessing. And if you made a decision that later on you think is no longer the right decision, then you can pivot. So make the decision and back yourself up. And it's very powerful to see. Brendan Burchard demonstrated a beautiful example of this during one of our sessions. A year or two ago and was like, how do you know that was the right decision? I don't know. We never know. But you made the decision. And if you don't back yourself up, who else is going to do that for you?

I love that. So good. I hope that you all gathered as much information as I did in this episode. That's so incredibly helpful. And you can Visit us@createmeaninginmedicine.com We're going to be adding more valuable information and ways to connect with us. And with that, stay tuned. Our next episode is coming right up.

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