boredom is good

So I'm gonna be filming my little inner monologue outside the dark room because there's someone in there and I don't want to disturb her peace because I get it. I really get it. But, yeah, I don't know. I feel like I don't really have a particular topic in mind, but I guess I wanted to talk about why I do film photography. So this is actually my first time really developing film shooting and developing because I've always been a shooter, but I've never had to go through this really long process of actually developing the film. And it's tedious, as you're going to see. It's like, crazy long. It's. Sometimes, especially when you're tired, it feels like it's all not worth it because you don't even know if it will come out nice. And you're putting so much time and effort in it. But that's like. That's the nice part about it. It really makes you value every single shot you take. And I definitely see myself putting in a lot more effort into every single, like, effort and thought into every single photo that I take in black and white. I, like, watch a lot of these YouTube videos and read a lot of, like, medium articles about how we have to. I don't know the exact phrase for it. I'll, like, flash it somewhere. But, like, how we have to intentionally make ourselves bored. Like, I've literally seen advice going, like, stare at a blank wall for 30 minutes every day. And I guess, like, the point of that is to kind of deprive yourself and make yourself bored, to, like, reset your brain in this overstimulated world. And I guess in theory, that does make sense to me because I am a doom scroller. So I. My brain is always on the go. I'm always doing something, always thinking about something. And I need to, like, take a step back and slow down. But I feel like staring at a blank wall isn't the most productive way of doing that. So, yeah, in a way, developing film is a way for me to stare at a blank wall. It's kind of boring and it's monotonous and it just goes over and over and over again. But it slows you down and it really gets you thinking. So we're done fixing it, and it can finally come out of this dark little. Oh, my God. It looks. Oh, hold on. This is. This looks like trouble. There's, like, kinks in it. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's like. There's, like, nothing on it. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, that's my version of sensory deprivation. And, yeah, this was definitely pretty peaceful. I don't think I felt particularly bored at any point of the process. I just felt at peace. And I think that's different and that's good. Yeah, this is not promising. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. Thank God something did develop. Yes. Okay. Why is it blue? Oh, it's so blur. Okay. It's just. Yes, it worked. I was, like, panicking in the dark room. I don't know if you heard me. I was just talking to myself because, like, I needed. I needed, like, stimulation in the darkness. Oh, it's working, you guys. It worked. You can actually see something. Yeah. I kind of want to make this a regular thing because I'm gonna have to develop a lot of film for this class, and I like talking especially to myself nowadays. So, yeah, I don't know. No one really watches. It's mostly an inner monologue for me. But this is gonna be a regular thing. Yay. And hopefully I can talk while I'm actually developing everything, but I don't think I have the self confidence or the, I don't know, the emotional intelligence to just be talking like this in front of someone else. There's definitely a few cool shots in here like that or this of shadows. I'm excited to print these. It's. Oh, my gosh. It's 12 o', clock, I think. Yeah, it's past 12. I'm done.