A first-person YouTube narrative by Eunice Lai recounting a self-booked nine-hour train ride on Amtrak's Coast Starlight from Santa Barbara to San Francisco. The speaker uses hour-by-hour vignettes—staring out the window, reading a letter from a freshman roommate, visiting the observation deck, reading, and worrying about forgotten assignments—to explore solitude, personal growth, and appreciation of California's coastal and inland landscapes.
Chapters
I booked myself a nine hour train ride from Santa Barbara to San Francisco to put myself in a state of understimulation. No, no, no. What is it doing? Just recording you. Yeah. This is my first time riding this all the way up to nine hours of isolation with no WI fi. It really is just me, myself and I. For hour one, I sat here and looked out of the window. Today is not the sunniest of days, but the calamity of the vast ocean crashing against the coastal beaches was a juxtaposition that represented my mental state at school. Yearning to be left alone but forced to fight through the long day. I also opened the letter my freshman roommate meant to send me last year. She meant to send it to me when I was going through hard times of loneliness. And the COVID had the exact same advice I would give past me. It's going to be okay. Inside, she wrote that she hoped that I grew out of it. Did I grow out of it? Did I grow out of the self loathing for leaving behind what I was familiar with or the insecurities I had for my ability to make friends? I think through the pain I grew to be a more confident person that has made meaningful connections that I hope will be lifelong friendships. For hour two, I continued staring out of the window, missing life by the ocean. Then for hours three, four, I watched a movie that quite possibly is the epitome of peacefulness that I sought out for. But luckily the sun came out to envelop the earth with its warm glow. For hour five, I finally went into the famous observation deck of the coastal starlight. The floor to ceiling windows allowed me to take in the diverse landscape that California has to offer. From oceans to dry lands to mountains to forests. It's no wonder why Californians live and die by their state. For hours six and seven, I got myself a hot chocolate and read a book for the first time in a while. I missed the times I had the time to read for enjoyment and to get lost in someone else's book world. I then got to watch the sun dip below the horizon, painting the sky with a display of luminous colors. H I should start spending more time outdoors rather than sitting at my desk. For hour eight, I returned to my seat and started freaking out over an assignment that I forgotten about. The serene illusion of this train ride is starting to creep away. As reality begins to settle in, I started getting back into gear to complete the tasks I have at hand. I swore under my breath for letting my guard down and believing that I can run away from my responsibilities. But I kindly reminded myself that I deserved a break. It's going to be okay. As the clock struck nine at the ninth hour, I got off the train and was thankful for the journey that I had today.
