Dr Frederik G. PferdtFrom Stanford & Google — To You

"Because she wasn't just being kind. She was going to pay attention."

24 May 2026 · 1 min

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Dr. Frederik G. Pferdt's 10-year-old daughter offered to grade him as a dad at month's end. What moved him wasn't the praise but her promise to actually pay attention and tell the truth. Most people never get honest feedback from someone who really watches them.

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And then a few minutes later, my 10-year-old daughter came back into the kitchen and she looked at me and she said, Papa, you're an awesome dad. And I smiled. And then I asked her, can you actually give me a grade? And she really thought about it with complete seriousness. And then she said, sure, at the end of the month. And that answer hit me harder than reassurance would have. Because she wasn't just being kind. She was actually going to pay attention. She was going to watch and then tell me the truth. We rarely receive it as information. And I think that is why so many people like leaders, like parents, friends, or partners walk through life carrying a distorted picture of themselves.