How inspiration shapes our lives and drives our decisions | Adam Galinsky

The future is how. Have you asked yourself today, what's next for me? You're not alone. We've all felt that way at some point. My name is Frederik Pferdt, and for years I've helped the brightest minds at Google and Stanford and people around the world shape their futures. Now I want to help you to do the same. Because the future isn't just something that happens. It's something you can create. Starting right now. From within. Instead of waiting to see what happens next, let's explore how you can make it happen. Each episode dives into one key area like sleep, nutrition, relationships, creativity, whether it's storytelling, mindfulness, beauty, movement, or purpose, and brings you real stories and practical tools you can use to shape a better future for yourself. So, what's one step you can take today to create what's next? Let's dive in and explore how to build a better tomorrow, starting right now. All right, friends, welcome to The Future Is How, the podcast where we move beyond predictions and practice how to create a better future. I'm your host, Frederik Pferdt, and today we're diving into a conversation about Inspiration, how it shapes our lives, drives our decisions, and empowers us to lead ourselves and others into what's next. Inspiration is more than a feeling. It's an active force that really fuels creativity, leadership, and change. And as we explore today's theme, I invite you to think about a moment when you felt deeply inspired? What sparked that feeling? And how did it move you to act? Today's guest is someone who has spent his career understanding the science and power of inspiration. I'm truly honored and delighted to welcome Adam Galinsky, a renowned expert in leadership, decision-making, and diversity, and a good friend of mine. Adam is also a professor at Columbia Business School and co-author of Friend and Foe, a book exploring the science behind collaboration and competition. His latest book, Inspire: The Universal Path for Leading Yourself and Others, delves into the science of inspiration, how we find it, harness it, and use it to lead more effectively. He has delivered one of the most watched TED Talks ever, How to Speak Up for Yourself, with over 6 million views, helping people finding their voice and expanding their personal and professional boundaries. His research spans leadership, negotiation, and the psychology of power. Making his work essential for those looking to increase influence and inspiration in their own lives. Welcome, Adam, to the show.

Thank you so much for having me, Frederik. I'm so happy to be here.

I usually like to start these podcasts with a quick imagination exercise where we imagine it's 5 years into the future, and I want that our guests share their future bio instead of talking about the past that already has happened. So what impact will you have had and what will you be known for in 5 years, Adam?

I was not expecting that question, but I really like it a lot. I think that one of the things about what inspiration is, is inspiration is about having a positive impact on other people. When I inspire someone, I've changed them inside. I've given them this wellspring of hope and possibility. I've made them see a better world. Filled them with a little bit of courage. I've helped animate them forward. And so what I want with this book and with the ideas and the research I've done on inspiration is to have that positive impact on others to help them be more inspiring. And I think one of the things I truly and fundamentally believe in, and especially with the title of this podcast, The Future Is How, like, how do we do that? How do we get there? What is it? Is really that the end result of that. If we can discover that how to be more inspiring, we actually start the process of creating a more inspiring world, because I truly believe it's this sort of virtuous cycle. Like, when I give you inspiring energy, you're more likely to give someone else inspiring energy, and they're going to give someone else inspiring energy, and we're going to be more inspiring. And so when I'm able to control my emotions, I'm going to help other people control their emotions, etc. So my dream is that, you know, that people read this book, they study the research, they they practice the how, and we can get into a lot of how do we do this, how do we become more inspiring, that the world will be a less insecure, anxiety-ridden, lacking control, uncertain place in which people feel more confident and secure that they are in a world full of inspiration.

Yes, you're describing the world as a place that is very uncertain at the moment, right? With a lot of anxiety about the future, with a lot of negativity as well, right? With a lot of blame and so forth. So before we dive into how we're inspiring others, let's talk a little bit about who or what is inspiring you right now.

We can think about like, what inspires me is that, you know, people who are passionate, right, and believe deeply in their convictions and their values and think about practical ways of achieving it. You know, there's a— you're very interested in creativity. I'm very interested in creativity. You know, people always talk about what does it mean to be creative? And it's this intersection of novelty and usefulness. And so I think one of the things that always really inspires me is finding some sort of useful solution in the world. I tell this story in the book. I'm going to go back. You said what's inspired me now. I'm going to go back to 1992 just to tell you a very quick story. This was long before the internet. There was many more airline companies, but they would often have these sudden sales that were time limited. So they would announce, you would see an ad in the newspaper, Northwest Airlines, 50% off sale, you know, from now until Friday, you know. And so my dad, one summer, it was my, my sister was getting married, was going to buy 22 tickets for so many people traveling all around the summer. And, but back then you had to call, you had to call the phone and you didn't get put on hold. It just was busy. And then you had to call back and it was busy. You had to call back. And so my dad was doing this for hours and it was getting closer to midnight when the sale was going to end., right? And the idea that if you didn't get there by midnight, you don't get the tickets. And he had this pamphlet in his hand and I'll just hold up a pamphlet like this, you know, just like thinking, you know, Northwest Airlines pamphlet. And at one point he realized about 11:45, time running out, right? He noticed at the very bottom it said for Español and then it had a different number. And so he called that number. It rang right away. The guy answered it like, "Buenas noches." And my dad was like, "Habla inglés?" Which means, "Can you speak English?" And the person burst out laughing and said, "Yes, but no one's ever asked me that before." And then my dad said, "Can you make reservations for English speakers?" He said, "I guess I can." And so my dad got all 22 tickets in the nick of time. And so I love that story because it tells us something really fundamental about what inspires me now is one of the things that one of my former students, Brian Lucas, did, who just a professor at Cornell, just got tenure at Cornell. And one of the things he did in his dissertation And he showed that people think about creativity as an aha moment, like this spontaneous epiphany that comes out of nowhere. But what he showed is those are a result of persistence and hard work. And I love the story about my dad because he didn't give up. He sat there for hour after hour looking, searching. And so I think in a world of uncertainty, persisting and not giving up is incredibly powerful. The second thing that really inspires me right now is my kids. So I talked about my dad, now about me as a dad, but you know, I have a 7-year-old and 8-year-old and they're so insightful and creative and they come up with so many, like, they blow me away. Like I was describing a play that happened in the Super Bowl a year ago and my, at the time he was 6 years old, he just turned 6 when the Super Bowl happened a little bit before, he said, no, daddy, you're wrong. That play wasn't in the Super Bowl. It was in the NFC Championship game. And he was right. And I was like, oh my God, you know, like this. And you know, when we were in Hawaii, we had this problem of birds flying into our house and like pooping everywhere. And so someone told me, oh, put down rubber snakes outside, you know, the door and the birds won't come in. Except the birds would just literally walk over the snakes and come in. And I was telling my friend, didn't work. And my son Asher, who was 5 at the time, he said, oh, I know why, Dad. And I was like, why? And he's like, there's no snakes in Hawaii. They don't know to be afraid. And so I think that, you know, to me, you know, being inspired, you know, I've talked about my dad and my kids and just that creative insights that's also born of persistence, I guess, is what I would say.

Wonderful. Thanks for sharing that. Yes. It's a good reminder that, you know, we don't have to look far to be inspired, right? Absolutely. Look in your family, in your communities, in your friends. There's all inspiration around us. Would you say that There's only inspiration in people, or are moments inspiring, or places, or other things as well?

Yeah, I mean, Dacher Keltner, you know, has studied the concept of awe. And we have a doctoral student here, Mike White, who's also been really interested in, you know, what are awe-inspiring moments. I think there is something, you know, about the environments that change us. So one of the things I've done in my own research that I've studied for two decades now is The creative benefits of deep immersive experiences in foreign countries abroad. And so one of the things I think, you know, when you go somewhere different, it's often inspiring because you realize that they might be approaching the world in a completely different way. And that might give you some incredible, again, creative insight to go with that. I think nature, that's another one that, you know, that's what Dacher has kind of looked at. You know, you go to the Redwood Forest, he's at Berkeley, you go to the Redwood Forest and look up these, you know, incredibly tall trees and just how awe-inspiring that is, or, you know, views of the Earth from the moon, right? Looking backwards. And so I think that nature is another way that we can be inspired. And, you know, different people get inspired different ways. I, I love water. I love looking at water. When I lived in Chicago, I had a view of the lake. Here in New York, I have a view of the Hudson River, both in my office and my home. And so for me, I just feel calmer, more serene, more centered when I'm by water. And so I think, yeah, we can feel inspired by people, by nature.

I share that too. I think, you know, water or even the redwoods. We have redwoods forest just around the corner here in Henry Cowell. It's always these inspiring moments when you, you know, look at the ocean, look at trees and so forth. But sometimes I feel, to be honest, there's no inspiration, right? Sometimes I look at the trees and I'm just in my head. I'm worrying. I have anxiety or something comes up, right? Even like when you are looking at the ocean, right? Sometimes you feel like, oh wow, these waves are too big. And then, you think about an idea or something that creates anxiety or a future vision that is dystopian and so forth. So what is, what is it? Is it like the outside world that creates that inspiration or is it like something inside us?

I think it's probably an intersection of the two, right? So I think that like there's a moment where you can imagine looking at, you know, the waves coming in could be terrifying, right? Because it's sort of this monotony of a salt of water coming at you and other times it could be very comforting. And I think that One of the things that I always, you talked about for people about how to feel in a particular state of being, you know, or how to be a good teacher, for example, or like that'd be one example, right? Is that, you know, there is no one style that is better than another, right? You have to find the one that resonates with you. And so one of the things which I'm a huge proponent of is diversity of experiences because like the foreign travel, the diversity of experiences, diversity of seeing different examples, you know, I found in my own life is watching different, people give talks, for example, like, what's the one that thinks that, like, is like me, right? And then I can learn from that. But if you only see one person give a talk, you think that's the only way. So, you know, it's funny, you know, the word diversity has become a very complicated word, I think, in the world. But another word that you can use is variety, right? Just having a variety of experiences, a variety of exposures gives you the opportunity to pick different parts of them and come together. And so I think that's One of the reasons why I love travel so much is that routine is amazing, but we can get stuck in routine. And so like you go walk through the redwood forest every day and eventually they're going to lose their power and then you're going to start maybe getting into your own head again and start losing, you know, that anxiety. But switching up the routine, instead of going into the forest, you go to the ocean the next day, right? You know, something that just changes something, you know, might be what you need. And then, you know, you come back, it's like clothes, right? Like suddenly a piece of clothing, you love it more than anything. And then all of a sudden it just doesn't fit for you. You, but then 5 years later, you put it back on and it's you again. And so I think the future is how, it's also the future is unpredictable, but that's why we need to try different things at different points in our life. One of my favorite phrases in the book Inspire is different people have different needs at different times. And it really captures this idea that if I understand you, Frederic, today, and I may treat you in a particular way, but tomorrow you might be different. And your brother might be different from you. And so I have to sort of learn and adapt as the changing. And so kids are a great example of this. Like, you know, my older son would cling to me at preschool, like cling to me, like hold on to me, beg me to stay for longer. Now I literally can't even give him a hug. He's in second grade. You know, by first grade, he was like, I'm done with you, Dad. You know, I just, just walked down the hall, you know. And so, you know, we just have to adapt to the fact that people, the future is changing and we can't just use present behavior to predict how someone's going to behave in the future.

Absolutely. Do you think we actually struggle to inspire ourselves? Is there like anything maybe that you find in your research that has been surprising to you that is geared towards like where we are not able to inspire ourselves, right? When we are maybe closed, right? When we are not looking for that diversity or that variety that you're talking about. When we always take the same route to work or when we always go to the same forest, as you said, like always talk to the same people, right? Is that where we actually not able to inspire ourselves?

Yeah, I think that's a really great question. You know, I'm going to go back really quickly to foreign experience because one of the things that I've shown in my research is that when we go to a foreign experience, at first it's overwhelming, right? At first, We're not inspired. We're almost tormented by the changes and it's like we're almost drowning. But over time, as we adapt, as we integrate, as we take in, this sort of new restabilized self emerges. But there's also ways that you can, I think, help that stabilization process. So my colleague, Michael Morris, with some other colleagues, they showed when people went to study abroad, let's say they went from United States to China, they brought them into the lab and they either gave them Chinese food. Food from, you know, that's in China, or they gave them a type of American, like really prototypical American dish, right? And then they looked at like their, how adapted they felt like a week later and the people that ate their home dish, it gave them that little bit of comfort that allowed them to like restabilize in the new world. And so I think that, you know, it's again, this idea that like, you know, we think, okay, go to a new world. I got to cut off my ties with the old world or, you know, too much of assimilation is bad, but also too much of separation is bad. So finding that mix. And so I think that, you know, sometimes when we're feeling, let's say, particularly discombobulated or dislocated, right, a little gesture of familiar comfort can go a long way. But sometimes when we're feeling particularly, let's say, bored or in routine of the humdrum of routine, then some novelty can go a long way. And so I think, you know, one of the, I guess, the ideas is that we are dynamic systems. And that inspiration, I think another thing to say is like, let's say you hit on the perfect thing that inspired you today. That might not work tomorrow, right? And so that's again, getting back to this variety and looking and thinking about the different ways.

Let me share a quick story where we actually met, Adam. We met in Copenhagen and we were both speaking at a conference. And so, I saw you on stage and something that really inspired you was the moment, maybe you remember, when you were starting to give the talk and you realized that your microphone was actually visible under your shirt, right? So the microphone receiver on your belt was kind of like sticking out awkwardly in a way. And instead of ignoring it, you decided to call it out, right? And making a joke about it.. And that small moment shifted the whole energy in the room, right? Because other people started to laugh with you and like, you know, they felt like, oh, you dealt with it in such an elegant way. So what I felt is that this moment really created a deeper connection with the audience, right? You felt like, oh, now, you know, Adam is with us and like he's like vulnerable and he's opening up. So this was really a reminder that embracing vulnerability can make us more relatable. And inspire trust. So what did that moment teach you about inspiration and being an inspiration for others?

Yeah, I think there's a couple of different things. Thanks for sharing that moment. And a number of people commented on it too. I remember Steve, you know, Ruckelberg was really excited by that moment. You know, I think one, so there's, when we start talking about what are the characteristics that inspire other people, like what are, you know, what are the characteristics that you have that might inspire me? And A couple of them come up. One is authenticity, right? And the other is this idea of what I call being superhuman, right? So we want people that are really competent. So we're both at this conference and we were selected, we were flown over first class to Denmark, to Copenhagen, and in front of, what is it, like 3,000 people in this room. So it's a big deal. So in some ways it's great because we already have the trappings of competence. Like we already said, this person is high status. And so that vulnerability is actually making you more sort of separated from the audience, more connected. But what I teach people is this idea that you want to be superhuman, not human super. And what I mean by that is your vulnerability is incredible when it comes after that people already think you're pretty super or pretty great. But the one example I like to give is that Hillary Clinton, who ran for president in 2008, she lost the Iowa caucus to Obama, and then she cried before the New Hampshire primary. And then she won the New Hampshire primary. It was this like big comeback story. And people for the first time, you know, she was incredible First Lady. She was, you know, Senator from New York. But it was the first time that people had really sort of seen her in a vulnerable way. But there's been other cases where like, a presidential candidate cried at their opening press conference, and then no one ever wanted to listen to them again, because it was too early, right? It was like they— you can't see their super-ness if they become too vulnerable. But I also think there's something really inspiring about playfulness, like people that are sort of playful and can make fun of themselves. And there's a little bit of humility that goes in that. And I think that is also like how to take yourself seriously enough, but not too seriously.

Yes. Yes. Thanks for bringing that moment back up again in our memories. And yeah, it was just a short moment, but that stuck with so many of us, right? Who were either in the audience or colleagues speaking on stage as well. And before we go into how we inspire others and how we can actually do that, and I think you have a couple of great insights in how we can be a better inspiration for others too. I wanna share a short moment, what I call a mindstate moment. Next, let's take a moment to pause and reconnect. This is your mindstate— a chance to reset and come back to yourself, wherever you are right now. These moments of presence are powerful. They remind us that the future starts from within, by shifting how we show up in this very moment. And that usually engages in a short kind of like meditative practice that allows us to reflect and go deeper on our own journey, maybe of inspiration or how we inspire others. And as we shared this love for the ocean, I thought I might bring up a metaphor with the ocean as well. So wherever you are, listeners, just maybe close your eyes if you can, or just simply soften your gaze and just take a deep breath in. And slowly exhale. And now I want you to imagine standing on the shore of a vast ocean, the waves gently rolling in, and each wave carries the whispers of those who have inspired you, like mentors, loved ones, Even strangers whose words or actions have shaped your path. And as you walk along the shoreline, you notice a message in the sand, written just for you. What does it say? What wisdom does it carry? Now turn your gaze to the horizon. Imagine somewhere in the distance, there is someone looking toward you, hoping for guidance, for a spark of inspiration. Who are they? What do they need to hear from you? Like Adam just shared, authenticity is something very important, being vulnerable.

A superhuman.

Now I want you to step forward and imagine reaching out your hand to them, passing along a glowing ember of your own inspiration. And just feel that warmth of that exchange. Your knowledge, your kindness, your courage being carried forward. And just take another deep breath in. And as you exhale, just feel the ripple effect of inspiration moving outward, touching others in ways you may never fully see. And when you're ready, just open your eyes and return to this moment, carrying that light with you into the world. And I think you shared something beautifully previously, Adam, many things, but I think that ripple effect, right, that we sometimes overlook when we inspire someone else, right? So they can inspire others moving forward, I think is something very powerful. That is something that is in our control as well, right? Like if we inspire someone with an act of kindness or an encouraging word or something that carries love and, and an emotion, right, that can create ripples to others as well. And I think that's where we see changes happening as well in the world. So thanks for sharing that beautiful thought earlier as well. So moving forward, let's go really towards how we can inspire others, right? Like, how can we be a better inspiration for other people? Like, what are some of the magic things that we can do, or maybe not so magic things that we can use in our daily lives to really be that inspiration for others?

Yeah, you said something important, which is maybe not so magic. And so one of the things that I've done in my research, I've asked, you know, tens of thousands of people across the globe, every continent in the world to tell me about a leader that inspired them. And I say to them, what was it about that person? Give me, if you had to come up with a single word to describe their capacity to inspire you, something they said, some of the way they were, the way they interacted, et cetera. Now, another thing that I think is really important is I've also asked people a different type of leader that also impacted them. But instead of creating this wellspring of hope and possibility, it created this, what I call kind of a seething cauldron of rage resentment. So that's the infuriating leader. And I think that one of the most important things that I've discovered is I basically have, I think, 3 profound insights. The first is that the inspiring and infuriating leader are on this sort of universal continuum that's made up of these 3 universal factors. And so I call these being visionary, being an exemplar, and being a mentor. So visionary is how we see the world, exemplar is how we are in the world, and mentor is how we interact in the world. And the other thing is that this inspiring, infuriating leader are basically mirror images of each other. So the inspiring leader sees an optimistic big picture. The infuriating leader is a pessimistic pedantic. Inspiring leader is calm and courageous. Infuriating leader is anxious and cowardly. Inspiring leader is generous towards others, elevates others. Infuriating leader diminishes others, is selfish. And so you can start to see that. So that's the first fundamental insight is that there are these 3 universal factors that make up this enduring continuum. The second, I think, really fascinating finding is that the reason why these are the 3 universal factors is because each of them satisfy a fundamental human need. So being visionary satisfies the need for meaning and understanding. Being exemplar satisfies the need for protection and energy. And being a great mentor satisfies the need for a sense of belonging and inclusion on the one hand, but also status and feeling respected by others. On the other hand. And then the third one, and this gets at your point about maybe not so magic, is because they're a universal set of attributes that distinguish these inspiring and infuriating leaders, that means that leaders aren't just born, but they're made. Because we can practice those attributes, we can nurture them, we can develop them, we can turn them into habits. And so each one of those becomes really, really important. And one's like thinking about the being visionary is really thinking about the future, right? It's all about what you're interested in. And one of the things I found in my research is that we're really attracted to optimistic futures, right? People who paint a better picture, right? I mean, it's embedded so brilliantly in Barack Obama's, one of his sort of like official sentiments, which was hope. That's optimistic hope. Also Trump, make America great again. This is optimistic future that's going to come to be. And I think that's one of the things. A second thing about being visionary, and I think this is really what connects the past to the present and the future, is selecting a particular set of values that animate everything that you do. And I think that's one of the most underappreciated superpowers we have. Is to reflect on our own values and also to share, you know, values, a big picture, optimistic values-based future, right? Something embedded in a particular set of values. You know, for Trump, those values were security and prosperity, right? Is the way that he talked about it. You know, making people feel safe. I want to tell you about a study that we did a couple of years ago that came out in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. I don't know if any of your listeners out there have ever lost a job, suddenly become unemployed, they got fired, they got laid off, a job they had was, you know, was only for a year and it was ending. But being unemployed is one of the 5 biggest stressors we experience in our lives. And I was fired from my first post-college job and I felt embarrassed and I felt humiliated and I felt despair and the future looks bleak. So we worked with a Swiss, the Swiss employment agency in Switzerland. Everyone in Switzerland who becomes unemployed has to go to an agency and register for unemployment benefits. And we were able to do this amazing experiment where for half the people coming in over a period of time, we asked them to think about their top values, 4 or 5 values, put them in a hierarchy, think about why those values matter to them. And then third, and I think this one's really important, what are some ways that they've demonstrated their values recently? So this was a 15-minute task. That's it. 2 months later, The people given this values reflection, sort of mind state in your terminology, were twice as likely to have found a job. The effect was so strong, we had to end the experiment and give everybody the values intervention. And so people was like, well, what's going on here? Like, why? Well, I think when you think about your values and the ways you've demonstrated them, it helps you see the big picture. It also gives you this sort of optimistic energy about the future. It makes you feel self-efficacious, like I've lived up to my values. And that gives you the big picture energy that you need to suffer the slings and arrows of rejections on the job market, or even to send out the application. And so I think that being visionary is really about optimism and it's about values and it's about big picture, finding it in yourself. And that's how you said, how do you inspire yourself? Well, reflecting on your values, but also communicating that and sharing that with others.

Wow, thanks for sharing that. Your last chapter is titled A More Inspiring Tomorrow. Yes. Can you share a little bit about that chapter and like, what is something that we'll find there?

One of the things I talk about in this chapter, I think, is something really important is that we have these three areas that we can be inspiring on: visionary, exemplar, and mentor. And one of the questions that often comes up is, do I have to be on all three to be inspiring? And if I achieve all three, how long does it last? Things like that. And so I think there's a few things that come up in the chapter, but here's one of the most important ones is the idea that none of us are perfect. We could be amazing, inspiring today, and then we could be infuriating tomorrow. And just because we did something well today doesn't mean we're going to do well tomorrow. Or we could be, we'll take Trump as an example, right? I think no one would question that he has an inspiring vision, at least for some people. Two is that he presents himself as this inspiring exemplar. He calls himself a creative genius. He says, "Only I can protect you," right? So he sends out strength and courage as a message. But I think everyone would agree that he's not a great mentor. He does not treat people well. He went through more chief of staffs than in such a short period of time of any president. He's notorious for throwing people under the bus and just claiming credit for all successes, but never taking any responsibility. And I think one thing I wrote once was about why President Trump lost, but candidate Trump won. And that's part of the last chapter. Of the book. It's because the reason why candidate Trump won is because all we see is the vision and the exemplar. But when he's actually president, we see how he treats people and the consequences of his actions on people. And that's when he starts to lose popularity. He's very popular in the abstract, but not so much. Now, another thing which I think is really important is Let's say that I'm an inspiring mentor and an inspiring exemplar, but I'm not visionary at all. Well, I could be really inspiring to people who just want to feel a sense of support and protection. But for people who are searching for a larger purpose and a meaning, I'm going to be infuriating to them. So it gets back to what I said earlier, that these are the three fundamental routes to inspiration because they satisfy fundamental needs. But whether or not I'm inspiring or not is, am I satisfying the fundamental need of another person. That's when we feel inspired, when we feel lost and that person helps us feel found or on the right path. And that's also why I call it the universal path for leading yourself and others. So the first big insight in that last chapter, A More Inspiring Tomorrow, is this idea of we've never achieved an apotheosis of inspiration. It's work. It's daily work that we have to do. The second thing about how we can build that inspiring tomorrow is through the power of reflection. And so we talked a little bit, mind states, different practices. And I'll tell you a little bit about what I did. I closed my eyes and went through your task, and I think it was amazing. It made me feel incredibly centered and really connected to the moment. But one of the things I tell people to do is every month reflect on your own experiences. When were you not inspiring? When were you infuriating? Also to reflect on who inspired you in the last month? What did they do? And then take those reflections and those emulations and turn them into some type of intention. That you can do, small intention. And then P is to practice. So I actually, I've come up with an acronym since the book was written. So I wish it was in the book, but I came up with it since then. I call it REAP what you sow, right? And this gets the idea of like what REAP what you sow is what you put out, you get back. If you put out inspiration, you get back inspiration. But REAP is also an acronym, not R-E-A-P. It's a homonym for that, which is R-E-I-P, reflect, emulate, intend, and practice. And if we do those things, those reflections, right, we're gonna be a more inspiring person and then we're gonna receive more inspiration back and that's gonna create the more inspiring tomorrow. And then the final idea of how we really create a more inspiring tomorrow is just the desire. And I talk about my parents here, is to be a better person today than we were yesterday, a better person tomorrow than we were today, to really committing to this lifelong challenge of how do we be the person that we want to be and that we want others to be to us on a daily basis. And that's really committing to the future and ways to do that. And getting back to the future is how I really think so much of the future depends on reflections and reflecting on our own experience in order to go forth. One of the things I teach in my class is that expertise is based in experience, but what really supercharges expertise is reflected experience. When we reflect on our experience, we can learn from it and then we can get even more benefit and become even more expert quickly.

Yeah. So you mentioned that we should do that REAP exercise once a month. Can we also do it every day?

It's a great question. There's some research out there and Sonja was with us also in Copenhagen and she did this amazing project. I love this study that she did where she asked people to reflect once a week on gratitude or 3 times a week. And then she looked at various measures of well-being later on. And there's 3 conditions. There's no gratitude, there's gratitude once a week, and gratitude 3 times a week. And she showed that the highest well-being was from doing gratitude once a week. And she actually— there was some evidence of lower well-being from doing the gratitude too often. And it gets back a little bit to the idea of, can you ever feel uninspired by the redwoods? And I think if you do it too often, it starts to lose its power. I'll give you just one example of this. When I was growing up, we used to go to the beach and there was a restaurant there that made Manhattan clam chowder. That's tomato-based clam chowder. And my brother and I loved it beyond compare. And so my parents actually got the recipe from the restaurant and they would make it a couple times. And so I would come home from college and every time I came home, they would make it. I'd come home maybe twice a year, maybe 3 times a year. They'd make it. And I loved it so much. So I started to make it myself and have my wife help me make it. And I loved it so much, but I started to make it too often. And so then it started to lose its power. It just became like, you know, because you got to make a huge pot of it and then you have it for a whole week. And so like you start doing it once a month, you're like, oh my God, I'm just having clam chowder. So then I realized, okay, what made the clam chowder so special is I was only having it 3 times a year. So now, you know, I just did it for my birthday in February. You know, I'll probably do it once more, you know, sometime in May and June, you know. And so it's this idea that there's power in making some things more scarce, I think. And that gives them a power. So what I tell people, I don't know what the right number of, let's say, gratitude reflections or inspiration reflections are for you.

But I think if you do it too often, it can start to lose its power. Yeah, that's a great reminder. Absolutely. Which also reminds me probably that there is or there are a couple of things in life that never lose their power, right? Acts of kindness, for example. I don't think we can do enough of those. They never lose their power. But it brings us back to the earlier point you made about variety, right? When we travel to different places, when we engage in different conversations, I think variety is something where we also find inspiration. So you can do a variety of acts of kindness, right, to various people that never will lose its power. Adam, this has been a wonderful conversation. I have a couple of more questions which I want to do a little bit more— I don't like the term rapid fire, but it's a, it's a, it's a little bit more one or two statements that you want to make towards those questions I share with you. So the first one is, and I've learned that just previous to our conversation, you shared that you're probably going to go to Singapore pretty soon, and we've met in Copenhagen. So we have the future and the past. So if you had a time machine, what year would you like to visit and why?

Well, one year that just jumps into my mind is 2008. And the reason why it goes into my mind is that there was the financial crisis. Barack Obama was running for president. There was a sense of change and hope and possibility. And the banks, the big banks were like, you know, basically saved, but that created a lot of outrage among people. And a lot of people turned that outrage against Obama. And so one part of me would like to go back in time and just figure out at that moment in time, how do we make changes that don't create this incredible wellspring of seething cauldron of resentment that then carries people off? That was really sort of the starting point of what I might say cruelty, like where people just became more cruel towards each other and the idea of owning the libs or hating Trump, it just, there's a vitriol that happened. I think another time that I would jump into would be when my kids are, you know, new adults, right? And venturing off into the world and thinking about, you know, have I given them the skills to be good people? Have I given them skills to be adults who can stand on their own? And I did a conversation yesterday with Amy Edmondson at Harvard. We were talking a little bit about being parents and inspiring parents. And she talked about her introverted son decided to get get a job after senior year of high school of selling solar panels door to door. And, you know, her first instinct was like, don't let him do this, right? Like, like, he's introverted. This is— he's— there's so much rejection. He's gonna hate this. But she realized he made a decision, you know, he's got to go through the experience of it and experience, you know, the both the positive and negative consequences of it. And so, you know, hoping that I'll be able to let go of, you know, let my kids lead their lives but be there to cheer them Wonderful.

Thanks for sharing a time in the past and a time in the future. So which brings me to my second question. If you could send a message to your future self, what would it say?

Probably you can make things better. Like there's some way that something different that you can do, whatever the world is like at that moment, you can make it a little better. And just to always be on the lookout for Opportunities to make not just your own life better, but other people's lives better. And just be sort of subtly vigilant for the possibilities of a small change that could make the world a better place to be.

Thanks for sharing. My last question, how do you want to feel in the future, Adam?

Well, it's funny because there's two characteristics that come up when you ask people all over the world about a leader that inspired them. And one of them is leaders that are calm. So almost this idea of like just this serenity and then leaders that are passionate. Right? Like this fiery, positive energy. And so I think that what I want to do is to have like, I'll call it calm enthusiasm, right? Where like, I'm chill, but I'm super engaged, you know, at the same time.

That was such an inspiring conversation, to be honest, right? It's not just a topic of inspiration, but it really was wonderful to hear all of your thoughts, the research you've done, the surprises you shared with us about the research that you've conducted around the world with so many people, but also what inspires you, Adam, right? And how you want to be an inspiration to other people as well.

Do you mind if I share really quickly what went through my head when we did our little meditation task before? Please do. So, you know, we're on the beach and I had my eyes closed and thinking about what's written in the sand. And it actually, I talked about the values task that we gave people in Switzerland. You know, I've done that myself, right? And I have all my students do that wherever I go. I'm in my number one value is generosity. So to me, the word generosity was, generous was written in the sand. Just a reminder, not just being generous with money, but with time, but also generous in interpretation. Always look for the most positive interpretation of what's driving someone else's behavior. And then you said, looking out on the horizon, who out there needs me? And I thought about a doctoral student here at Columbia and what does he need? And what he needs is the sense that I believe in him, that I see potential in him, that I believe that he can become a professor like I am. And so it made me think, the way to combine those two, and you say, what's that energy that you could give the person? It's like to be generous with optimism, be generous with— and one of the things that I've found in my research is almost everyone out in the world has what I would call an encourager, someone that transformed their life life by believing in them at a critical moment in their life. Like, I believe that you can write a book. I believe you can start a podcast. Like, I know you can do it. And it's going to take time and effort, but I know that you have the potential in you. And so to me, I took this in the sand, this word generosity, my number one value, and I tried to translate that into an optimistic energy of belief that I could give to this other person and give them the confidence that they can become the intellectual they want Thank you so much, Adam, for being generous with your time, but also generous with your ideas and your thoughts.

If this episode really sparked something in you, share it with someone who needs a little inspiration today, right? A little encouragement, a little trust. And remember, your future isn't just waiting to happen. You have the power to shape it starting now. Thank you so much, Adam, and hope to see you in the future somewhere.

I hope to see you in your beautiful house out there.

It looks so gorgeous. Absolutely. The doors are always open. As you know, we don't have any locks, so feel free to come anytime. And I wish you all the best. Yes. So continue to be an inspiration to so many people. And I think that's it for today. So thank you so much.

Thank you so much for having me.

I had so much fun. That's a wrap for today's episode of The Future Is How. Remember, the future isn't something we wait for. It's something we create with every choice, every breath, and every step we take. If this episode sparked something in you, share it with someone who's ready to shape what's next. And don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. Your next chapter begins now. So what will you create today? I'll see you in your future.