Avoid Burnout: The 12 Keys to Wholeness 🚀

Welcome to the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast. My name is Angela Mondor, also known as the Geeky Girl. In this podcast, we're gonna be talking about some amazing things to help you get over overgiving. Hi, and welcome to this episode of the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast. I'm Angela Mondor, also known as the Geeky Girl, and I'm bringing a guest today. I'm super excited. This is Chrissy. We've been, we've actually been, we've known each other for a long time and friends, and so it's kind of cool that we get to bring this together now. So let me tell you a little bit about Chrissy. So, her 2-decade career as a safety and health professional ignited her passion for psychological safety and emotional intelligence. Do we need that? She's described by her clients as a wayshower who meets people and organizations where they are and shares relatable methods to execute them to move forward on their own terms, which is so awesome. She raises consciousness and inspires others to foster curiosity over fear in order to create full Health, success, love, and joy. And I love this next piece that she gave me to say. It's just what she calls well-being for the whole being. I think that is so amazing. I think that in our lives, we're always looking at just this one corner, and I love the fact that you're looking for the whole being. Thank you for joining me today, Chrissy. I appreciate you being here.

I'm so excited. We gotta do this in person sometime.

Ah, yes. Well, and it's silly, right? Because we live in the same city. It's not, not often that it happens where your entrepreneur friends live to in the same city.

So yes, yes, we'll have to make that happen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you for having me on.

Yeah, it was so great to have you here. I love what you're up to. And, and like we said before we even got to, you know, recording, I'm like, you know, we're just gonna catch up like we should anyway. It's been a few years since you and I sat down and had a conversation.

I know, since— wait, since you babysat my kids, or my son, before and after school. Yeah, every time I still pass by, it's like, I wonder how those dogs are doing.

It's amazing how the people in our lives show up And where, where we make connections and how we help each other out and the different pieces that we pull together, right? So like I said, we've known each other for a long time. So one of the things, one of the things that I thought was kind of cool about, you know, obviously that concept of your well-being piece, and I love the fact that you're meeting people where they're at because so many times it's so important for us to acknowledge where we are, not just always be reaching for whatever star we're trying to hit, right?

Yeah, it's the concept of whole being and wholeness to me. So I call it wholeness coaching. There's a couple things to it. First is, yeah, we have to be a little bit present in the moment and see where we are as a good thing, even if we feel like it's not enough. And we're really good at convincing ourselves that We shouldn't be where we are, rather than like loving ourselves where we are, like we would with a good friend or a relative or someone we cared about. We're not always so loving with ourselves. So there's a shame piece that comes sometimes with I should be there, I should be somewhere else. The other piece to the wholeness is that there's a lot of programs out there that sort of tap into that feeling of inadequacy, but on the other side where it's like, well, if you're not enough or you're too much, So you need to take away pieces of yourself. You got to carve something out of yourself, lose the weight, lose the negative thinking, lose this, lose that, and then maybe you can be enough, enough but not too much. So this wholeness concept and this whole being is about, no, right now, just as you are, is totally cool and okay. And we need to just start there because we can't change where we are. This is the only point in time that we We can't change the future, we can't change the past, we can only embrace where we are right now. So when it talks about meeting people where they're at, it's really literally that— loving and accepting, okay, this may not be my ideal place to be, but here I am and I'm existing and I'm doing all right, right?

Yeah.

Like, yeah, circumstances I'm in, I'm doing okay. And it really just gives people that compass point to start from. You know, if we can love ourselves now, then we can love ourselves towards wherever it is that we believe we want to go. But if we're not checking in, we may not even be on the right path, right? So—

100%. Well, it's interesting you said that because recently I've had a few of these reels show up in my newsfeed, and it's, it's, it's, it's essentially a woman who's saying, girl, what do you mean they said you're too much? You know, think about this. If, if you're too much, then that just means they want less. And you're not less. Fine, you know, and I just think it's so, so poignant and so perfect for what you just said. Yeah, somebody else just wants less.

Yeah, yeah, there's— go find less then.

Yeah, exactly right. Next.

Yeah, yeah, like, I deserve more. It's sort of like this bar that we sort of expect. We need to expect more from ourselves and what we're willing to have in our lives.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. You know, from, from that perspective of not necessarily, you know, I think we all should on ourselves a lot in terms of, you know, I expect this for me to do. But I think that we need to turn that around and say, the people in my lives, I'm now going to should on what I expect you to bring to my life too. Don't just let people shit all over you.

Oh no. And I think the biggest part of that too, it's not so much about proclamations, right? And that it's more about the behavior, right? So, and people have their own ideas of what behavior means. Like if we say I want support, I need more support from you. Well, if we're not whole and understand what support means to us, we're not going to be able to give the people in our lives the best directions to give us the support that we need. We sort of keep them in the dark because we're in the dark.

Yeah.

So yeah, so like, if support to me means I just need you to listen and I'm good, perfect. No, support means that your behavior changes where maybe this happens without me having to remind you, or That if I do this, you know that it's not about you, it's about this. Like, we communicate differently. So even something like that, like when we get into like our wellness journey or our wholeness journey, it's, it's even that language and that identifying what is it that I actually need, want, or whatever, right? Like, it's so, so, so important.

It is. And, you know, I think the core piece to that is, is what you, what you brought up. It's like you have to understand yourself.

Mm-hmm.

We can't tell somebody else how to treat us if we don't know how we want to be treated. And it's one thing to know how we don't want to be treated, but it's important to also understand how you want to be treated. Like, what, what, what do you want out of the relationships in your life? And every relationship is going to be different between you and your child, you and your spouse, you and a cousin, an aunt, whatever. Like, there's different relationships, but what is it that fulfills you? What would— what helps you? And I think You put an interesting spin on this when you were talking about the different topics you talk about. And I was like, ah, this one really resonates with me. The concept of non-food nourishment. And I read that and I went, oh, girl. Because I talk about energy a lot, like an exchange of energy.

Yeah.

Money's energy, the way we spend time with each other, right? And I feel that the nourishment word that you used was so cool. And then when I read the final piece, I was like, oh, this is— this The pieces just fit together. You said, the building blocks of wholeness and how they keep burnout away.

Yeah.

I mean, as overgivers, it's so easy for us to burn out.

It is. It is. And it also gives us the language and the map to identify where we're at, what we need, what's not working. And it's— the one thing I will say as I go through— I'll go through, if it's okay, I can go through what the non-food nourishment is.

Yes, please.

As I go through it, I just always like to let people know it's not about Being totally fueled in all of them all at the same time. It's it's about discernment. Balance isn't an equal exchange always. Sometimes it's like this is my priority this month. This is the area that needs the most nourishing, so that's going to take a little bit of priority over maybe this other area. So it's sort of like this revolving wheel that we need to sort of check in, but it gives us the map to do that. But we create the map. So even as I go through the non-food nourishment with clients. It is really about how they perceive non-food nourishment, what they need. So they really figure out, oh, this is what it would look like if it was perfect. This is what it looks like now. I'm not right. So it's really, even though it's a tool, a framework, it's very individual to every person that I work with or group. So, so non-food nourishment, you ready? Yes, I am. So there's actually 12 of them, but we break them into 4 separate categories. So the first one is health, which sounds kind of basic, but that is about— so there's 3 subsections in each. So the first one's health, and the health is really about your— now this is not going to do this from memory— it's about how much you pour into the health of your body. And that could be, again, through nutrition, sleep, hygiene, you know, resisting stress, relaxing your nervous system, those kinds of things, whatever it looked like for you. So that is Like health and body. Physical health is those kinds of things. Part of the health is also your physical movement. So what are you doing for exercise? And it doesn't have to be working out. It can be just movement that you enjoy where your body is not just laying or sitting. You're doing something with yourself physically. And this is where I'm going to have to look because now I'm like, now that I'm on the spot, my memory goes. So we know this with ADHD. This happens, right?

Yeah. I mean, I like the fact that you're talking—

And I do know this stuff, I swear. I know this stuff.

We all need guidelines. But, you know, I think the thing, like, when you talk about movement and what you value, like, I know personally movement for me, like, my husband loves that T90X or T20, whatever it is. Like, he drives himself crazy with these crazy things. For me, that gets my cortisol up. Like, that's not cool for me, right? So for me, I need different movement. I need walking or yoga, or I actually like gardening. So the physical activity of moving rocks and dirt like that, That's the kind of movement I like. And I think that it's important for us to be able to identify that. It comes back to the whole piece of what works for you, right? Other people would listen to my thing and go, oh girl, I don't want to do that ever.

No, no, exactly. For mine, it was— I ended up having to do more meditation and yin yoga for my body to relax. Because same thing with an autoimmune, if you put too much stress, even good stress like exercise, it will put you in a flare and it'll knock you down. You have to build, you know, a capacity When your body is so overstressed, right? So it was the—I even wrote an article about it. Like lying down changed my life. So it was about like shavasana, corpse pose, like literally just laying on the floor, and that that was amazing. So it looks different for everybody. One client I had, they had—they realized that the piece that had been missing in their life was they used to, as a teenager and young adult, they played sports and they were always active. And then for whatever their body started to have changes, and they also were diagnosed with some things, and. The movement stopped and they were feeling really defeated. They're like, well, my body can't move that way anymore. I'm like, yes, that's unfortunate, but that is what we have to accept. So what can we do? And they're like, okay, well, I'm going to walk 5 minutes at lunch. I'm like, if that's what you want to do. Yeah, I love walking. Okay, perfect. Give that a try. So they, they started with their 5 minutes. They went to half hour, 45. We worked over a year together. They then went into jogging. And now they run their own personal training business, and they gear it towards people with non-traditional athletic bodies. Nice. And they're they're freaking happy. They're doing great. And I didn't do that again. It was just they realized this is the missing ingredient. So we talk about way shower. I'm not telling them what to do. They're they're seeing it through the framework and then being able to diagnose themselves and really start to know what they need. And try it out a bit. If the walking didn't work, we would have thought of something else they'd like to do, right? Like, it's just, it's ever evolving. I remember the other. So the other, the third one is home cooking. And I have to say, I hate cooking. I know it's not, it's not so much about cooking. It's not the process of making elaborate meals. It's about your hands on the food or hands of people that you love on the food. That you're consuming. So if you're familiar with— there's a name, Sadhguru. I'm not a big follower of him, but I have a friend that goes to his ashram every once in a while in Tennessee, and he talks about the people that prepare the food, and he says that's the position we hire most carefully for because the energy comes from your hands into the food. My fiancé is Turkish, and same thing. There's a saying whenever I cook food, there's a saying in Turkish that means Health to your hands. And it's about like, bless your hands for serving me this food. There is— you talked about energy, so you probably get this, that that's why the sandwich from your grandma tastes so much better than the sandwich you make, right? Like, or someone else makes, or it's— there's, there's the missing ingredient is love. So it's literally like, so you don't have to do the cooking. You'd be like, Robin, if you really love me, you would make this meal right now because it's going to give me a good feel, right? Like, right, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and we do eat a lot at home.

Yeah.

And of course, my kids are adults now, so— and, and they still live here, so we do share cooking. Just because for me, I think that I'm just— it's— oh, I should say supper is the worst meal for me because I'm so exhausted by the end of the day. And that's just because of, you know, the way my brain works and what I take on, right? But I can see where you're coming from, you know, having hands-on food. And when you, when you said that, I was thinking about what I had made myself for lunch and what came to my mind when I did it was, this is a chore that I have to do because my body needs food, and damn it, I have to get it done. And it wasn't, I'm loving myself as I'm cutting up my— right? Like, it wasn't like I was like, oh, these things are going to nourish me, and I'm going to feel good when I do it, and I'm, and I'm, I'm making myself this beautiful platter because those are the things I want to eat. It was like, what the hell do I have to shove in my face to get through the day? But I, I like what you're saying in I think that we can all love ourselves more in a lot of different ways. And that is certainly a place where I could use some growth, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to become a chef or anything, but it would be interesting to see what would happen if you change the language to, wow, this tomato is going to give me some energy, right? Like, it's, it's amazing. Even just the difference between— it sounds silly, but going to Tim Hortons for a donut, but making a homemade cookie at home, there's just a difference to it. Even how your body feels like, it feels so like I don't know. It's, it's, there's just a different feeling to it, right? And it doesn't feel as damaging. I don't know. It's hard to explain, right? You're not as like ashamed. You're like, well, I worked hard for that cookie, so I'm gonna eat it now. It's, but it's, it's, there's something in the energy that we pass to what we feed ourselves, what we feed our children. Don't worry so much about the content, but just try and find some joy in that, that process. And just—

Well, I think part of it is even the stories we tell ourselves matter.

Yes.

The words that we say to ourselves, even when they're quiet or silent, really shape who we are physically, emotionally, energetically, in all kinds of different ways.

Yes.

So when you started talking about it and I started to think about what I was thinking, right? Like, I mean, I had a great meal. I had good food. I had, you know, carrots that were cut. Thankfully, my husband cut a bunch of carrots. I'm like, yay, I didn't have to do that, you know? But then, you know, cutting up the celery that went with it and the apple and, you know, like there was Certainly nutritious food on the plate and good things to eat. But when I was doing it, my mind wasn't about loving myself. It was about getting through it. And so I think that's really an interesting way to think about your whole being, right? How can we find other ways to love ourselves? Because you're right when you said earlier, you can't love your future self unless you love your current self. Like, you have to love where you are and who you are in order to— Grow and change to what you want to be.

You can't heal with hate. You just can't. Yeah.

No, hate, hate is not healing.

But we think that's gonna work. If I'm just a little harder on myself, I will shape up. But it's, it's a lot of treachery, right?

Has, has never worked for me. It's caused me more trauma in my life than anything.

Yeah. And I feel like joy is a little bit of a rebellion. I feel like in this day and age, to actually find a little joy in life is that perfect rebellion. Like, I know you want me to be in the fetal position. Crying about life right now, but I'm having a good time over here doing my thing.

Like, you go ahead and do the hate parade. I'm gonna enjoy.

Yes, absolutely. And that actually is so— little segue into— so the next nourishment is spirit, and joy is one of those components. So it's really about lovingly finding joy, whatever gives you joy in the moments, or whatever it could be, just pausing to appreciate something. That you like, right? Like, and it could be doing something that you enjoy, and it doesn't have to be huge. I know in today's economic world it's not always so easy, maybe, right? Not everybody has the same access to different things. But like, if you enjoy a good breeze, well, stick your face out the door once in a while, right? Like, if you enjoy the grass, do that. If you enjoy— Music, it's on YouTube. It's free. Like just just take a listen and sing. Do the things that you feel most like you. I think that's where joy really comes. You feel most like yourself. You feel free. You feel liberated. You feel right. So it's it's it is that gratitude piece, but it's not like though I should be grateful. It's the it's the it's the really like hey like I once you start looking at things with joy, everything becomes a little more joyful. You know, it's really funny. My— so I still do some safety contract work, and I do this respirator fit testing for a friend. And he always laughs because he's like, you have these crazy— like, I sent you out to do the most boring job in the world, and then you have the most interesting day. And I'm like, that's because I'm joyful and I'm interested. Interested people are interesting. They lead interesting lives. And then everything becomes a possibility. So I'll give you an example, just a stupid example. Sitting in an old folks home, it's quiet. Everybody's whatever, napping. And, and I love, I love my grandma's 98. I love it. I love the atmosphere in an old folks home. And so this lady, this nurse came in, she had her kids, and her kids were hold— her daughter was holding something. I didn't really look at what she was holding. And the lady's like, I hope it's okay. My daughter brought— and I assumed it was food or something. And I was like, yeah, no problem. She goes, no, no, no, no, you need to see this. And she grabs it out of her kid's hands, a chicken in a diaper. Can I bring a chicken into this room? I'm like, fuck yes, you can. Pardon my language. As long as I can hold that chicken, you can do whatever you like. And I was in heaven. I'm like, you're such a good baby. I was taking pictures, sending it to my boss. He's like, what the hell? Like, a chicken? You let a chicken in the room?

I'm like, yeah, it's not fine. Like, it's fun. I think that it was about 2 or 3 years ago, my word of the year was joy. And the purpose for that word was to find joy. I knew that I was not as joyful as I wanted to be. And so my purpose for that year, whichever year it was, was to literally find joy in everyday moments. And I learned a lot about myself through that year. I learned that, you know what, sometimes I just need to stand on my back deck regardless of how cold it is or warm and let the sunshine on my face.

Mm-hmm.

Because the warmth from the sun brings me joy. I am a singer. I've always been a— I love singing. So of course music brings me joy, but I've had times because of what I've learned about myself where I literally go, you know what, I need trees. And I just drive myself. We're lucky in our city, we have several different places where we have like local urban areas where there are, you know, good forests or whatever. And I trudge through the snow or whatever to get into the trees and just sit in nature because that fills me, that brings me joy. So it doesn't have to cost a lot of money. You know, it just finding those little bits and pieces, like, you know, yeah, bring the chicken in. Yeah, it brings me joy. Let's do it, right? I mean, my dogs bring me joy.

Great thing.

That's for sure, right? My little dog, I swear to God, she's my boss. She tells me when I need to be at work and when I've had too much work. And, you know, but I think that you're right. I think it's really important that in this day and age, I think that you're right, joy can be very, very much like a middle finger to the world, really. It's like, everybody else, you want me to be mad? You want me to be upset? Nah, you know what? I gotta find joy.

Yeah, I'm gonna be over here giggling under the covers, super happy with my life right now, even if I shouldn't be. I am like, you can't stop me from enjoying myself. Yep. No one.

Yeah. And spreading joy works just as much as spreading hate or anger. It's just as powerful.

It does. It really is. So part of spirit is also spiritual health, which isn't necessarily religion or a belief system. So for some people, it is just a connectedness, and that can be connected to nature. So what you described there, going to the trees, That could actually be joy, but also spiritual fulfillment. So whatever connects you, you really feel like is like whatever your soul is or spirit inside lights up at, that is time that you need to invest in for yourself. So I'm the same. It is very much trees. I love trees and I love nature. I love rocks and trees. That's my thing.

Some people love mine's trees and water. I have to make sure that I buy big bodies of water several times a year.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Water's so good. terms of to be fluid and flexible. And the other one is creativity. So some people struggle with that because they're like, I'm an accountant. Well, okay, but your folders, like, can they be different colors or fonts? Or like, can they be organized? They're like, oh, I've always wanted to do that. I'm like, that's creativity. That is still creativity. It is. It doesn't have to be I'm an artist or a singer. It's just doing something that you uniquely put your stamp on. So whatever that is.

Even, even people who are very— because I mean, I was very corporate.

Yeah.

For a long time. And even— and of course Excel was my, my thing at the time, because of course I'm old and that was a thing. But even thinking differently and thinking outside the box and being creative in the way you solve a problem is still creativity, even though it's not creative in terms of colors or music or movement or whatever. Thinking outside the box, there's still creativity there.

That's absolutely right. Absolutely. It is critical thinking. Is it innovation? Is it idea brainstorming? Is it listening to people that are different than us? Right? It's just exposing ourselves to things that are new and also putting our mark on the world with things that are uniquely us too. That's a great point. That's a great, great point. Next one is community. So, and it's funny because the first piece of community is actually home environment, which You're like, oh, I'm home alone or just my family. But it is because community is really just a word that means what you interact with outside of your body. So that even means the environments that we're in. And your home environment should be your sanctuary, or at least a piece of it should be. So there should be a piece of your home that is you, that you like. I've decorated it my way, or I've put whatever. Like, for me, it's my bedroom. There's— that's the place that I've Made the most cozy for me, and it's been just the place where even at night when the teenagers are, you know, still awake and I'm trying to sleep, that's when they come in and want to have a chat. They want to lay in mommy's bed, right? So it's, it's just sanctuary. So whatever that means to you. I had one client that she, when she moved in with a person, she got a lot of flack because she loved photos. And she had them all framed, and she took loving care of these photos. And she would cover whole walls in like photos, and people and her spouse and everyone would complain about how cluttered it was. So she eventually packed them all up and put them away in the basement, and she was really sad and really unhappy and just didn't. She's like, "I don't know what's wrong." I'm like, "Where are those photos?" They're downstairs. They you know collecting dust. Like, do you want to pull one out today and slap it up somewhere? And and that's what they did. Slowly, slowly, slowly, they started building their wall of photos, and they're like. Everyone else was mad, but I was the happiest I'd ever been. And they really— their life has changed fairly significantly. Again, they did the work, they figured it out, they made— but just that little piece of like, I can enjoy the things I enjoy, even if to someone else that is clutter, or someone else that's that, it doesn't matter because it's my home. And this is what I— and this is something I celebrate, memories. This is how I do that.

So really something so important to them. And even the language that you use, I packed that up and put it in the basement. You're literally— I, I literally saw it as I packed a piece of myself up and then I put it in the basement.

Yeah. Hide it away in the shadows and the cobwebs. It's super sad, right? Like it— yeah.

But we do it to ourselves all the time. Or at least it's, it's a behavior that is something that is celebrated. I don't know, created in our society. I don't live by it, but I see it a lot.

Yes. Yes, absolutely. There's this— Brené Brown calls it like conformity or something is like, or whatever. Comparison is conformity on one side and competition on the other. be like everybody else but be the best at it. It's like, what are we doing here? This is crazy. Yeah. Next one. Uh, so also in community is relationships. These are your close relationships. So this is how much are you investing in the best relationships for your health, right? And it doesn't— I'm not saying go no contact or like— this is a complex area.

Yeah.

But it's all about making sure that you have some relationships that do support you in the way you need support, that do feel like you can be yourself with, that you can rely on, that you also enjoy investing time into, right? That—

Yes.

There's a reciprocity there. So, and that's about— sometimes that's about listening to the people we love a little more and trying to see things from their perspective, and as well as sharing our own and, and really being authentic with people. And that, that one's That one can be tough, and that's why a lot of times it's good to have a coach. And if it's worse off, definitely therapy, right? Just really good. Yes.

So, yeah, especially if it's like familial, you know, there's some therapy required usually.

Dynamics and genetics and all sorts of things there.

Yeah. Intergenerational trauma that goes through there. Yeah. You know, therapy is a good thing.

Yes. And I will say, you'll know a coach is good if you, if you start to Cross the scope of therapy and coaching. Like, a good coach will say, I'm not the right person. I can support your therapist in supporting you, but you're going to need some real— so check your coaches to make sure they're giving you good advice for what's best for you. But the third one—

That's really good advice.

Yeah. The third one is social life. And a lot of people cringe like, but I'm an introvert.

I, I socialize on my terms the way I want to.

I am an outgoing introvert, so I need a lot of time recharging. I like alone time. You can ask my kids because they'll get the, what? That still happens. I'm not perfect, right?

Yes. I literally sent my kids a video recently, and it was, it was this mom who— it was like, it was a video, and this woman and the kid in the background goes, Mom. And you go, what? And then the sentence on top was, oh, that wasn't what I wanted to say. Hold on a second. And then she goes, What? Nope, still wasn't right. Took her about 4 or 5 times to go, what? And I'm like, oh girl, I feel you.

My kid sent me one just the other day of a mom working at a desk in the house, like at a home office, and the teenager walks up and is like, mom, mom, mom! And mom puts her hand up like, get out of the way. And the girl's like, oh, I'm so sorry I ruined your life with my friendship. And then the caption said, you know, when mom's in mom mode instead of best friend mode. So it's like, yeah, yeah, super funny.

Yeah.

So social life is really just, again, putting yourself in environments outside your house. So it doesn't— you don't have to actually be in relationship with the people that you're around. You just need to be out doing something off, away from where you usually do things, and hopefully around people other than yourself. So if you make friends, great. So after I got divorced a number of years ago, I really struggled with this. I had a lot of shame, a lot of psycho stuff I was going through about how I perceived myself. There was just— it was a lot. So the idea of being even perceived by other people was really painful. And but I was getting really lonely, and I had been, you know, not tending to relationships that were important. And I just was like, I gotta start liking myself. I don't— so for whatever reason, that year I decided, okay, I'm gonna make a rule. Once a week I have to do something outside of my house, period. And that week, every week, first it was I went to— I joined Winnipeg Meetup.

Yes.

And I like that it's not dating, it's just, just a bunch of weirdos like me going like, I don't have any friends, can we hang out together? So that's what you do. And the first one I went to was a movie. I'm like, this is perfect. They're strangers, but it's a movie. We're not gonna be talking or socializing. We just have to sit beside each other. I can do that. So that's what I did. I went to this movie and I was like, hi, and then bye. And it's like social. We did it.

Yes. Well, you know, even, even if you have something like— so this year, one of the things that I've been doing is pottery. I just have this interior, like, I really want to spin pottery on a wheel and this is what I want to do. I'm fortunate, like, one of my kids likes to come with me and stuff or whatever. But it was, it was something that drove me. I was like, I'm going to go do this even if nobody comes with me because I'm going to go do a class. Like, I'm just gonna go learn something, you know? And so you're still around people, and who cares if you make friends with them? But you're in— everybody's doing something together.

Yes, I love that. Yes. So, and again, if you don't have money, go into the forest. There's other people in the park. Like, you'll see people. You're okay. Like, I've gone even, you know, like, taking myself out for— I'm trying to think of different things I did. I drove myself.

Well, even if you're stressed about it, don't get your groceries delivered. Just go get your own groceries. You're in the grocery store with humans. Right? Yes, you'll save yourself some money, but it might be a little stressful. That's okay.

Yes, you can do it. You can do it. Yes. So that's— yeah, that was social life. And then it ended up being concerts, and I ended up volunteering, and then I ended up meeting a whole bunch of new friends that I'm still very good friends with. I started dating again that year, which didn't work out so good at that time, but it did lead to other experiences. And I, I saw bands I had always wanted to see. Like, I just was like— I just kept opening up possibilities to be like, I don't need to accept that this life is me sitting on my couch feeling sorry for myself all And that's not to say if you're sitting on the couch that you feel sorry for— I'm just saying for me, that was what was going on.

Right. Well, for me, I used to be afraid if I was meeting somebody for coffee, I would always wait in my car until they got there. And I'd never go to this— I would never go to the restaurant by myself because I was like, I was worried that other people go, oh, she's alone. Like, why is she alone? She has no friends. And of course, I appreciate this. If you're younger and listening and you're not there yet, that's totally okay. Because when you, when you get older, you just have less fucks to give. Just saying. But like, I read. I don't go anywhere without my Kindle. I started doing this when the news started to stress me out, and now I'm cool. I'll, I'll go to a restaurant. In fact, I'm happy to show up early to a restaurant now because I'm gonna sit there and read my book and nobody's gonna interrupt me. Like, I'm in.

No, yeah, no one can find you there. Absolutely. Turn your ringer off, you're good.

And I don't care if people think she has no friends. It doesn't matter to me anymore.

Yeah, I used to walk around the main site every once in a while. I didn't adopt anything at the time. I couldn't. But I, you know, like, just like pets are leaving things, I was socializing.

Like, it was like— Well, and one of the things that I need to do generally in the wintertime, there's a time in the year when I can feel sort of that sadness of the dark of the winter. I go to a garden center.

Oh, I love that.

I'm not there to buy anything. I'm there to be with the plants because I really need— for me, gardening's very connective. And I— and so it's like, I'm just gonna go to the garden. I always come home with a plant, but I don't Don't go for the plant.

Can I, can I share something super hippie?

Yeah.

Like out there, so people just fast forward if you don't like out there things. But so when it comes to the energy of the Earth, the, the Earth does a lot of things that takes the things that are poisonous to us and then turns it into something good for us, right? So our carbon dioxide, we exhale it, becomes oxygen. There's an exchange that happens. The other thing that Earth is really good at taking from us is our sad and our anger. So getting out in nature and like holding the ground, hugging a tree, literally feeds that energy out. And then that's why you feel good and lighter after touching the plants, is because the Earth is actually giving you back. It's taken that energy and changed it or transmuted it, whatever language you want to know. And it's— that's why grounding is so important. My fiancé laughs because if I've gone somewhere with people that I love but maybe aren't You know, the best on my energy resources, right? Like, we all have people that we love, but we, we tolerate more than we would for whatever reasons.

And drain you.

Yeah. Yes. And then he'll come home after work, and, and I'll be laying on the floor, literally laying on the floor on my favorite carpet in our downstairs. And he'll be like, oh, did you go see so-and-so again today?

I'm like, yep. Like, well, and having plants in my house is important, right? I, I, I It's always been important for me to have plants in my house. And of course, the dichotomy of this is hilarious because I'm allergic to mold. Plants always have mold in them. So I can't actually have them in my office with me, which is sad to me because I can't breathe when they're in here. But I do have fake plants in here.

Yeah.

But in the rest of my house, I have real plants. And to me, it's important to have because I really do believe in, you know, the healing power of Growth and plants and that kind of thing. So yeah.

Absolutely, absolutely. And then the last one is career, and it doesn't necessarily mean a traditional career. It may not mean jobs. So we talk about career, like the 3 subcategories. One is career, which is what do you do for your purpose? So it can be whatever it is that, that is your activity, that is your action, that is your drive, whatever that is for, whether you're a volunteer, whether you Knit, crochet, like these things that you do specifically that you're like, this is what I do, this is what I contribute, this is how I earn the roof over my head. Like, this is right. So it's your purpose, whatever that is. Then there's the education, which isn't necessarily go back to school. It could be exactly what you said about reading and microlearning. So that's what I tell people, like, social media is devastating. Like, microlearn. Stop looking at that stuff. Go like How do pumpkins grow? Go find something else that interests you and look that up instead. Mm-hmm. And you are gonna see so many cool, you're gonna learn a lot. Like that's putting that to power and it's gonna change your algorithms too.

I was gonna say, yeah.

More things that you're gonna enjoy and learn and grow from, right? So, so microlearning, it can be traditional education, but it's just always like you said, it's that flexibility of mind. Mm-hmm. Am I flexible? Am I rigid? Am I, are people bouncing off me like I'm glass or am I flowing like water and accepting new things that come into my trajectory, right? Like, I'm really starting to figure out whether I'm gonna keep it or it's gonna get shoved to the riverside, right? So, and then the last one is finance, and that's the one where people are like, it's, it's not great out there right now. So finance isn't about being rich. Finance is about putting your money, or being able to use the money that's available to you, to live your life, or at least put it towards the life you want to be living, or the behaviors that you want to be contributing to, right? So It's really about aligning the money with the choices that you make. It's also about— this part is really hard, and as entrepreneurs you'll, you'll understand this. Not everybody has that risk, but it is also about trusting yourself that if you do take a leap, you're not going to be homeless. Maybe you will, but you'll have support, right? Like, it's about trusting yourself that if you take a chance or try something different based on something you want to be doing Trust yourself that you'll be provided for, or at least have the creativity and spirit enough, community enough. And that's why I teach this one last, because this one often takes more than just ourselves, because we have to align with a lot of different things, right, when it comes to like the outside working world. So yeah, making sure that you have enough resources, you have the ability to handle whatever's going to come your way, so you can create enough income to enjoy what you want to enjoy.

Mm-hmm.

So it's really just about like, I believe in this. Does my money match that? Right? So, and it's about not being ashamed about money, really seeing it as the tool and just seeing again, are we living with our finances the way we live the rest of our lives with our values?

Well, and I think it's interesting when we were, when you were talking about career and that kind of idea, because there's times when we've all had to take a job. Yes. Or we've had to work for money.

Yep.

And that's different to me than my career. That's different to me than my purpose. If I can align my purpose with my job, if I can align my purpose with the money that I get, I mean, money's going to be way better. No questions asked. However, there are times I remember, like when my business was young, there was things that I took on jobs that weren't related to my business, but that paid the bill, right?

You do what you got to do.

You got— yeah. So, if you're in a situation and you're listening to this now, maybe you're new in your business or maybe you don't even have a business yet, wherever you are, if you're in a place where you're like, I hate my job, I hate my job, or I don't like the way I make my money, but I can't quit because I need the money, fine. But like you said, where's your passion? What is it that drives you? Right? I volunteer for Hockey Helps the Homeless because I want to help our homeless population. We have a Halloween display that we do every year where we collect—

Nice.

Non-perishable food items. for a local charity that helps children. These are things that I'm passionate about. I'm grateful and lucky— not lucky, I mean, I've worked hard for it.

You've worked hard.

I am passionate about helping neurodivergent humans run their businesses so that they're not overwhelmed, so that they are not drained and, you know, burning out and losing all their resources. I want to help them find joy and love in their businesses, and I'm grateful that My passion for that aligns with my business, and I'm in that place now. Wherever you are, find those things and do them. Like you said, if you're cro if you love crocheting or if you love volunteering, whatever, find eke out times in your life when you can put those pieces in around the things you have to do for money, and then slowly you can change it over. Yes, yes.

Well, even then, sometimes when people put things into place and they're they're sort of like feeding themselves well with. You know, their nourishment, they find that maybe their job isn't as actually dire as they thought. But because they were so unhappy, the symptom looked like it was the job, but it was actually something else they were struggling with, and that was the trigger, not the cause. So it's really interesting to see where you land once you start feeding yourself and the real you starts to remember who it is, and you trust your intuition, and you're kind of like Oh, remember a year ago? I thought that was like the end of the world. And really, because your capacity, your healing is the ability to handle things you couldn't handle before. And that's right. So even if you get to the place where you're like, you're working towards something, it doesn't mean at the end of the day you have to quit that job or end that relationship or change. You get— but you'll be in a better position to see what you actually want by that point, right? Right, right. You get to choose then. You always get to choose. You, you can always go back and choose something else. Like, there's This life is a choose-your-own-adventure.

Yes, that's awesome. Yes, I am so grateful that you're here today. I know we covered a whole lot, and I know— yes, and I hope you stuck around, everybody, to hear this because it's so brilliant. And I think that, you know, there were so many nuggets for people to take away today. So I appreciate you being here so much. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you. I love you. I'm so excited we got to spend time together. So thank you for letting me come on.

Me too. Time is my love language. I love spending time with you. It's all good. So what I want you to do is tell everybody about your podcast and where they can find you online. Of course, we'll have all this in the show notes for you, so it'll all be down below. You can just listen to what Chrissy has to say, and then you can click on our links in the show notes. But please tell them all about that.

Yeah, perfect. So my website is risethrive.ca. That's usually the best place to find me. You can find me on Instagram pretty easy, Rise and Thrive Canada. Super easy. We'll put it in the show notes. I do also have a new Substack, and my podcast is called The Flare Up Show. I started it many years ago when I was first sort of battling through the autoimmune, so it was a play on words like an autoimmune flare. So it was about flaring up, failing forwards, because I learned a lot about what I needed and how to feed my body well as I was going through some of those things, lovingly take care of myself through that process, which was amazing. So I have— would have— I started So people that come on that show are telling stories of resilience or ways that they've helped other people grow their resilience. So that's what that is. I'm in the process of launching a new podcast, which is called Baby Legs, which is about how even as adults, we're still learning and it's okay to do things terribly at first. It's okay to suck at doing stuff that we've never done before in order to get better. Just like a baby waddles, falls on its butt, falls down, we don't yell at it to stay down or make a fool of itself. We get it to— Get back up, baby. Try again. We need to do that with ourselves. So Baby Legs is is that new podcast, and that's what the flare-up show will turn into. I also so with individuals, you can find all the services on my website. My main program is Realign Realize, where we go through all the nourishment. We really work out a plan for you, and it it is at least a six-month process. Usually transformation takes time, and it takes support. So it's about helping you learn what it is that you want to put into place. And then helping you make those tiny shifts so they become permanent changes that— and they're actually what you want in the end. So that's why it's a longer process. And then I work with corporates as well. So I— because of my psychological safety, so I work with organizations who are like hemorrhaging their profits through ineffective team communication dynamics, like drama, miscommunications, conflict, that kind of stuff, or they're just not real excited to be there. So sick of seeing those teams sort of struggle and waste time. So the Circle of Safety workshops is what helps people learn the skills to do conflict because we don't want to get rid of conflict. Conflict creates innovation. It just has to be done respectfully. So I help teams work through exactly their pain points. We workshop it, we work at it, we coach through it in real life as we go along. And that's the Circle of Safety for businesses. That's a lot. Sorry.

That's all good. That's all good. Thank you so much. And like I said, we'll have that in the show notes. So if you're listening and you're like, oh, I didn't catch that, what'd she call that thing? It's gonna be in the show notes. You can just go over there and click on it. Thank you so much for being here today. I really appreciate you.

My pleasure. Thank you. I hope you have a fantastic day.

We'll talk to you next week. Thank you so much for listening to the Overgivers Anonymous podcast. Your support means the world to me. You can find show notes for this episode and other goodies at overgiversanonymous.ca. And if you enjoyed this episode or you enjoy the podcast in general, why not join us in the Overgivers Anonymous Facebook group where you can connect with overgivers from all over the world? Head on over to geekygirl.ca/group.