In this solo episode of the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast, host Angela Mondor (the Geeky Girl) introduces the concept of “chaotic discipline,” a productivity framework tailored for neurodivergent and over‑giving individuals. She contrasts the traditional, steady‑as‑she‑goes discipline model with the reality of fluctuating brain energy, describing high‑energy “fire” days where ideas flow rapidly and low‑energy “fog” days where the body feels sluggish. Angela outlines practical tactics: scheduling “brain‑dead” low‑creativity tasks for foggy periods, spotting low‑energy windows early in the day to reshuffle work, and allowing space for rest and presence. She shares personal anecdotes about juggling business and parenting, the guilt of divided attention, and the transformative power of choosing to be present. A poignant quote—“Ask what you’d like, not what you’ll tolerate”— underscores the shift from people‑pleasing to self‑advocacy. The episode closes with invitations to join the Neurodivergent Business Circle and the Overgivers Anonymous Facebook group, encouraging listeners to celebrate their unique rhythms and rest as a productive act.
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Welcome to the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast. My name is Angela Mondor, also known as the Geeky Girl. In this podcast, we're going to be talking about some amazing things to help you get over overgiving. Hey rockstar, welcome back to the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast. Today we're going to talk about something that I have recently come to understand is something called chaotic discipline. And before you think that sounds like a total contradiction, Hang tight. This is for anyone who's ever beat themselves up for not being productive enough, or anyone who's ever had a day that felt like molasses and thought, "What's wrong with me?" I mean, spoiler alert: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. So let's dig in, shall we? Okay, the other day I saw this video on Instagram, and it hit me like a rogue D20 on the forehead. This person was talking about how neurotypicals experience discipline. How it's slow and steady and consistent. And I thought, well, yeah, that's the model that we've all been taught to do. I mean, that's what everybody thinks the gold standard is, right? Except it makes me and a lot of us feel like itchy and anxious and burnt out, like we're trying to wear a productivity costume that doesn't quite fit. It's never felt good to try to be the same all the time to me. Our brains just don't run like that, and not in neat little lines. We'd like to sprint through our ideas and burst into focus, and yet sometimes we have to— yeah, let's just be honest, sometimes we collapse into recovery mode. That's not failure. It's more like our rhythm. When I'm on fire, it's electric. I'm happy, excited, focused. It's like my brain is firing on all cylinders, and somehow my body is almost keeping up. Let's be honest, my body can never move as fast as my brain can. But on these days when I'm on fire, like, I feel like it's Like, I could be there. I'm just hanging on for the ride and things are just, they're just working. It just feels amazing. I can map out new systems or build the SOPs out or fix automations, plan new automations, come up with new ideas for automations, plan launches. It's the kind of day where I feel like I'm a productivity wizard and I'm full of clarity and there's tons of success. And those days are pure magic. But when they don't happen, if I don't allow for the other kind of day, you know the ones where you feel sluggish or sad or foggy, your brain is still buzzing, but your body is like, yeah, we've left the building. Like, I want nothing to do with whatever it is that brain's doing. I refuse to play nice. You're scrolling through your phone, you know that doom scrolling that happens? Maybe you open the fridge 5 or 6 times and you can't even remember why you went to it every single time. And You feel like every task requires extra context. They're all way more complicated than you can possibly handle. And you might as well be staring at a locked door with no keys in your hand. So I plan for them. Each week I build in what we call in the Rockstar Mastermind brain-dead tasks. It's stuff that doesn't require my creative genius. It's clicking, sorting, For me, I can do research on those days, light admin, reviewing things perhaps that have been built already. When I hit a low energy day, I don't force myself to write a 300-word sales page. I mean, I need to be on point and on fire for one of those. I lean into a slower pace. I shift the plan and I let myself recover. Now, reorganizing low energy days early is a game changer. Because if I don't notice until 3:00 PM, I've already spent hours trying to push through an uphill battle, trying to figure out why I can't get shit done. But when I spot it early enough during the day, then I can rearrange what's going on that day. I can pull out those brain-dead tasks and, you know what, maybe get a few things done. I can move the other things to a different day. Maybe I even will go sit on the deck and enjoy the garden and listen to the birds. Allow myself the space to have a slower, more relaxed, and slower energy day. Here's what happens when I honor that rhythm. The next day I'm back. I'm focused, I'm energized. I can knock out what would've taken me a week if I had tried to push through the fog. But when I ignore my needs, when I try to power through, that crash lasts longer. I lose days, not just hours, and I beat myself up that whole time. So I've stopped doing that the best way that I can. And yeah, there's some days when I still can't figure it out till 3 PM and I've lost the time. And I ultimately know that it's going to cost me some time, but I'm getting better every time to be able to recognize those things before they happen. And I've put these things in place so that I can give myself grace during those times. So the biggest shift for me was learning to be present. I know that sounds simple. The concept is simple. It's not easy. But I'll tell you, when my kids were little and I was starting up my business, I was always distracted. When I was with them, I was thinking about work. And when I was working, I was always thinking about them. These guilt monsters were relentless, just trampling over everything that was happening in my life. And I was never where I actually was. And it drained me to my core. When I finally let go of those shoulds, and the air quotes come in, I chose to be present instead. That's when everything changed. I made better business decisions. I enjoyed my time with my kids more. It felt peaceful for the first time, and the quality of time that I had was so much better as well. So if you're feeling guilty for needing a break, I want you to hear this. You don't need permission to rest. You need rest to be your brilliant self. And if no one's told you this lately, your rhythm is valid. Your rest is productive. Your way is enough. I hope you feel seen. I want you to know that you are not failing if you are not firing on all cylinders today. You're just recharging your rocket fuel. Now, you guys know I like to read. And the other day I found this quote in a book and it nearly brought me to tears. I literally had to stop reading the minute I read this and I felt it was so poignant. I wanted to share it with you. I asked what you'd like, not what you'll tolerate. Let that one sink in because so many of us, especially those of us who are neurodivergent, recovering people pleasers, or both, we've spent years settling. Tolerating, putting ourselves last. This one episode isn't going to change your life overnight, but maybe, just maybe, it'll be the start of asking yourself what you would like, not just what you will tolerate. And that is the first step towards chaotic discipline, the kind that fuels real magic. If this episode hit home, come hang out with us in the Neurodivergent Business Circle. We celebrate messy brilliance, Recharging with pride and getting things done in ways that actually work for our brains. Don't forget to subscribe, share this with a fellow chaotic genius, and most of all, be kind to yourself today. Talk to you next week. Thank you so much for listening to the Overgivers Anonymous podcast. Your support means the world to me. You can find show notes for this episode and other goodies at overgiversanonymous.ca. And if you enjoyed this episode or you enjoy the podcast in general, why not join us in the Overgivers Anonymous Facebook group where you can connect with overgivers from all over the world? Head on over to geekygirl.ca/group.
