In this conversational segment, Angela Mondor and a co‑host explore how neurodivergent traits shape creativity, self‑identity, and confidence. They discuss the tendency of neurodivergent people to create their own conceptual "boxes" and language, illustrating this with anecdotes about improvising dialogue in movies and using varied voices when reading to children. The dialogue then shifts to rejection sensitivity—a heightened fear of criticism common among ADHD, autistic, gifted, queer, and other neurodivergent groups. Both speakers describe self‑protective habits (e.g., emotional armor, avoidance of rejection) and argue that bypassing feelings is unhelpful. Instead, they advocate acknowledging and deconstructing emotions, then deciding purposeful actions. A central strategy highlighted is the use of diagnostic or descriptive labels (2E, gifted, ADHD, autism, dyslexia) to reframe experiences like overthinking or overdelivering, reducing emotional intensity over time. Finally, they note that many neurodivergent individuals gravitate toward self‑employment as a way to control exposure to rejection and to create environments that accommodate their sensitivities.
Chapters
And this is, again, I think another one of those neurodivergent things because like a neurotypical person would be like-minded. They think the same as I do, right? And so I think that we, we like to put— I like to say that our neurodivergent people, we like to have— we like to make our own boxes. We don't like to be in other people's boxes.
And we make up our own words.
Yeah, we all the time. And sounds for words sometimes.
Yeah. And sometimes if I, if I have to watch a movie for some reason, like when I was in college and I had to watch a movie to write a paper on it, sometimes I would turn the sound up. off and make up my own dialogue for a few minutes just to make it more entertaining. When, when my kids were small, I would read them their children's books with a different voice for each of the characters. I made songs for like learning how to use the, the toilet and not, not using the diapers anymore, things like that. So, you know, it's, it's funny, we talked earlier about not being creative. Being creative is, is having a different perspective About, about being human and being in the world and what we're here for and how we interact with others. And some people find it upsetting. Some people find it off-putting. Some people find it just really confusing, but that's okay because those are, those are not my people.
Yeah. It's what works for me, man. Let go. You know, and I think that sometimes it's difficult because of that whole concept of rejection sensitivity, right? We do have that. It's a huge piece of what drives us to some degree in terms of that whole people pleasing piece. And I think sometimes that rejection sensitivity creeps up on me. I know, and on other people as well. We think you're sailing and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, that was really a rejection sensitivity moment, right?
I talk about rejection sensitivity all the time. I've done a number of podcast interviews on the topic, and I talk about it a lot with my clients because I think oftentimes because we've learned how to be self protective. We've learned how to— I refer to it as like full metal jacket or like wearing a suit of armor. I used to refer to some of my behaviors as being like Edward Scissorhands because it's like, okay, come here. Okay, that's close enough. Like, I don't, I don't want to give you an opportunity to hurt me because even though I'm a baddie and I am a strong woman with some powerful traits, I'm surprisingly easy to injure. Because my rejection sensitivity is finely tuned, as it is for most people with ADHD, most creatives, you know, people who are highly sensitive, people who are queer. Lots of people have rejection sensitivity, but guess what? I choose to be self-employed. You choose to be self-employed. We both work with people who choose to be self-employed, as many neurodivergents do. So it is one of the areas where we really have to Find ways to manage it, or inevitably what we do is play small and avoid putting ourselves in the places that would really allow us to thrive because it feels like there's too much riding on it and we don't want to hear no or be ghosted. And there's a lot of wonderful techniques for managing rejection sensitivity, but I'm not a fan of bypassing any emotions. I'm not a fan of saying, oh, don't feel that way, like just blah blah. It's like, never dishonor somebody's feelings. Like, you're feeling what you're feeling. And of course, I'm also a former therapist, so, you know, it's kind of feelings are my currency. But once we've allowed ourselves to feel our feelings and like deconstruct them, now what do you want to do with this so that it doesn't Sideline us and, and limit us.
Well, I think it's the same as, it's the same as your label, whether you're 2E or gifted or ADHD or autistic or whatever, dyslexia, whatever other label. I think being able to label that as, oh, that's rejection sensitivity, or, oh, that's overthinking, or that's overdelivering, or whatever the case may be. By giving yourself a label or description or, you know, a definition, so to speak, for that, it allows you to be able to see it differently with a little, uh, I'll say with practice. You can look at it with a little less emotion and each time it can be a little less emotion. And then I think that that helps you to be able to turn that corner and go, okay, you know, that was not behavior that I want to continue with. Or, you know, that's, that's behavior that I'm, I'm over. Even though you're not over it, you're ready to make a change in your story, right? And so I think that's an important piece to, for me, I think people, because people will say all the time, especially, you know, you talk about the neurotypical people and the way they see us, right? It's like.
Yeah.
Well, why do you need a label? And I think to me, that's why it's like, because so that we can actually look at it and understand it.
We can develop some objectivity around it, and it gives us a common language to talk about it with other people. I think one of the things that's been most liberating for me, Angela, is— and I, I talk about this book way too often, but I've just learned so many powerful lessons from it— The Confidence Code by Shetty and Kaye. This book, these 2 female psychologists interviewed powerful women in multiple fields from, from law, government, CEOs of companies, politics, athletes, you name it. Like women at the very tip top of their game in a variety of fields. And every stinking one of them had issues with confidence. had fear of rejection, had imposter syndrome issues. And I'm like, my first thought after— because I've read the book several times and I recommend it virtually everyone— first time I read it, I thought, well, fuck me, you know, if all these women have these same issues, we're doomed. Like, why even try? Well, that was a moment I had that thought and it passed. And then I thought, wait a minute, if even these women Have these thoughts. If Barbara Streisand and Adele still have panic attacks before they would go on stage, if all these women have these very same natural responses to fear, uncertainty, doubt, rejection, then I can deal with this too. Like I'm no different. If if this is a universal phenomenon, then I have no reason to be ashamed. That I'm experiencing it too. And when we think that, then we can talk about it. And when we talk about it openly with others, we realize everybody feels it. It's not just me. And it's okay because it's a universal phenomenon, even among the people who pretend they don't feel it. Trust me, they do. And that has been absolutely liberating and life-changing for me.
