Why You Struggle to Finish & How to Fix It 🚀

Welcome to the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast. My name is Angela Mondor, also known as the Geeky Girl. In this podcast, we're gonna be talking about some amazing things to help you get over overgiving. Hi, and welcome to this episode of the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast. My name is Angela Mondor. I'm also known as the Geeky Girl. Today, I wanna talk to you about starting and finishing things. So, question I have for you. Is why is it so hard to finish the things that you start as a neurodivergent entrepreneur? And let's talk about how the Rockstar Success Circle was designed to help you change that, okay? Like for good, not just like a little bit, but like for good. I have struggled with these things as well. I am— people look at me and they think, oh, Angela, you are so good at finishing what you started. And that's simply because I have a lot of tools in my tool belt and I have a lot of support. Mm-hmm. Okay, I am just as easily swayed as other people. Okay, so our neurodivergent brains love brand new shiny things. I'm no different. There is nothing that I love more than new shiny things, new ideas, new thoughts. When I hit roadblocks, it gets difficult. So how do we do this? Let's talk about that. Okay, showing up for ourselves can be really, really hard, and it can be Sometimes it can be a lot easier to show up for things, even if they're hard things, if it's because somebody else is counting on us. So we can build that into the way that we work inside our businesses and how we work inside all of our productivity as well. This is some of the key pieces that we're going to be putting in there. So having a great community around, having some accountability, not hardcore accountability, nice, Gentle, persuasive, good accountability. Obviously, we don't like to be told what to do. So there's that balance that we have to talk about inside there. And then encouragement. And some people also like gamification. We put all this together, okay? That's what we're gonna be talking about. Now, I have certainly had lots of times when I've started a project with tons of energy. I'm super excited. I'm like totally in it to win it, and I'm super excited about it. But then something happens. My motivation fizzles out. I haven't quite made it there, and a lot of times it's because I've hit a roadblock or, you know, I can't figure something out. So there's been times when I've been on a call with a client and I'm like, oh yeah, this is super exciting, we could do this and this and this and this and this, and it's super exciting. And so sometimes it's, I've gone off the call and I've started to work on the things, I'm super excited, but then I hit a roadblock where I can't get past it and I have to rethink how I thought I was going to do it. That can cause me to Have a stutter stop. Or it could be that I'm really excited on the call, but then I've got like 3 other calls that day and I can't get to it right away. And then coming back to it after, I'm like, oh, exactly what was I supposed to be doing again? Like those kinds of things. There's lots of different reasons why we have these problems finishing the things that we think is super, super exciting when we start. And each of us have different ways that we combat that, Different ways that it impacts us, and certainly ages and stages. There are different reasons why things get in the way as well for us. So just because we find something that works today doesn't mean to say it's gonna keep working, but we're gonna find lots of different ways, 'cause there's never just one way to solve a problem with our brains. We have beautiful, beautiful, amazing brains that can think outside the box. Let's let them do that, okay? So when I do put things off like that, and when things get Muddy, or I get distracted by new ideas and losing steam in the middle of a project, it can feel really painful. Like, ah, I have to get back to it. Now, sometimes I'll literally get a hold of Julia, my executive assistant, and go, I just need you to talk with me through this thing. I just need to talk through it to figure out where I am in the process. That's one thing that works for me. Talking about it with other community members. Having conversations about where I'm at. All of those things are very, very important. When I have accountability, when I have support, when I have a community of people who are willing to help me through things, it becomes a lot easier to keep going or to get going again. Sometimes it isn't keep going, sometimes it's like that's been stalled and I need to start pushing the rock up the hill again. So those things are very important to me when I'm thinking about how can I get going again on those kinds of It's also really important to know that the finish line isn't the finish line all the time. So, for example, let's talk about writing a book. There is finishing writing the book, then there's finishing editing the book, then there's finishing the, you know, how am I publishing it point of view, then there is the— well, the book cover comes before publishing, but you get what I'm saying. There's a lot of finishing lines along the way. And even though you've written the book, you've edited the book, everything's ready to go, it's up on whatever platform it is you're selling/giving away, whatever you're doing with your book, that part's done. Oh, guess what? There's a whole other cornucopia of things that you need to do in order to promote the book, which is an entirely different project. So sometimes that shiny object being the book, it's like, I'm done, yay! But the whole purpose of writing the book was to do this, and now there's a whole other piece to do it. As well, okay? So, if you had accountability around you, you had people with you who were cheering you on, who would be able to say, fantastic, now the book's done, now this is the next step. You could still whine and moan about it, 'cause, I mean, sometimes we have to, but when you're looking at it, then see something, oh, you're right, okay, this is the next step I have to take, okay, here's where I'm going, that's because I'm going into this next goal or this milestone, this is just one piece. Right? That milestone's only one piece of that entire big goal. Okay, let's go on to the next thing. What's next? And it can be helpful when we have that structure around us, having that community. The Rockstar Success Circle is a great place for that because we are talking about what is the bigger goal here. Not only are we working on, well, what's this week? But this week rolls up into the month, the month rolls up into the quarter, and the quarter rolls up into the year. So that when you're working on these things, you're always checking back in. Where are we right now? What are the things that we've accomplished? What's next on the docket? How are we moving this next goal forward? Okay? And we're doing it in a fun way. We have planning parties. It's not drudgery. It's not painful. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to go, oh my God, May's coming? Or June's here? What's happening? But on the other flip side of it, there's levity and fun in what we do. We have a good time and we get some really cool ideas from other people who are doing similar things. Or who have different ideas of accomplishing things, it can be really, really helpful when we're, you know, sort of ping-ponging off each other in trying to get these things done. So the support that's there, the community involvement, because there is community involvement from other people who show up for these planning parties, all of those things can help to continue to move the project forward. You're not alone in, oh, now I have to do this thing. You can say, ugh, I have to do this thing, but then somebody eventually is is gonna say, okay, what's next? What's happening? What's going on? What's your next milestone? The energy is helpful to have other people around to do those kinds of things. As neurodivergent human beings, we need different support than other people who are neurotypical. The, the ways that other support systems work just don't work for us. We don't like to be told what to do. We don't wanna get bored, or we lose energy on those things quickly. So we do things a little differently because When we're talking about being— getting that vibe of initiating a task or completion, some of us struggle with the initiation and others of us struggle with the completion. Bouncing those off each other, having us in the same community is helpful to help each other with the different pieces. Somebody else might say, oh, I'm having a really hard time getting started, and somebody who's really good at getting started might say, hey, have you tried this? Oh no, I haven't tried that yet. I'll give that a shot. Remember, there's no one way to do anything. So by helping you, helping everybody, with everybody helping each other, it can be much more helpful to have community members who can show you what works for them and give you some different ideas as well. Okay? It'll help you to get started, it'll help you finish, and it'll help you to stay on track for the things that you care about. Now, we can have dips in our motivation. And I know people like to call this procrastination. I really don't like the word procrastination for us specifically. There are times, sure, when I procrastinate about things, but for the most part, when I'm not getting things done, it's mostly because I'm overwhelmed. I'm generally overwhelmed because I don't know what step to take next or what's expected of me in these moments. So it's not that I don't want to do the things, which is what procrastination is, is you don't want to do them. It's more about being overwhelmed for me. So I like to kind of strip that word, but I know people see it and they think they're procrastinating. You're generally probably not. You're probably overwhelmed. But we can lose momentum in our projects. But if you're sharing the information with other people on a regular basis and you're talking about those things with people, the momentum continues because people are helping. They're saying, oh, what about this thing? Have you tried this thing? Oh, I forgot you were working on that thing. Tell me more about it. There's this energy that continues to help you. Because you're revisiting it on a regular basis with other people. Now, when we get overwhelmed, we can, you know, reach out to the group and say, hey, you know, even if you say, I'm procrastinating, I'll be the first one to say, you're probably not procrastinating, you're probably overwhelmed. Let's talk about it. Where are you right now? What's happening? I'll help you break it down. Get to a— it's more small, smaller manageable pieces so that you'll be able to actually move forward with the things that you're doing. Okay, hyperfocus. I did an entire episode on hyperfocus. Certainly, if you need some more information on that, we can definitely drop you the link to that as well. But when we are hyperfocused, it can lead to burnout. I talk about how we can actually use it to our benefit, but a lot of times we get hyperfocused and we go down these rabbit holes and then we burn out because we are overwhelmed and stuck inside that And we can be distracted by these fun shiny objects that take us off path, take us off course. Now we need to course correct and come back. So those kinds of things, when they come up as people inside the Rockstar Success Circle, they're like, oh, I've got this thing I'm doing. It's like, well, hold on a second, was that part of your plan? Oh no. Does it need to be part of your plan or is it not part of what you need to be doing right now? Oh, it is something I need to do right now. Okay, so if you need to do it right now, then are you still gonna do all those other things you were gonna do, or are there some things there that we need to change and adjust? Do you need to change something so that you can have the time you need to do this? Or is this a thing that's really cool and shiny, but we don't need it right now, and maybe we need to reschedule it for next quarter? Those are the kinds of conversations that we have on a regular basis to help you when you're trying to stay on track and going in the direction you're trying to go in. And help you so that you don't take on too much and burn out. Now, self-accountability can be difficult, and like, honestly, I know it's happened to you, it's happened to me, when we say, oh, you know what, the project is due on such and such a day, and we go, I'm gonna pretend that the project is actually due on this day so that I do it faster. But our brain knows that we're trying to trick ourselves, and we go, yeah, I know that's not really the date, never mind, I'm gonna ignore it. And that's that Self-accountability piece. So having a community of supportive people around you can help you when you say, this is my due date, or I'm trying to get this done early. Then there's that conversation that we can have. How are you gonna get that done early? Where are you putting in the information, or where are you blocking out time to make it happen? Those kinds of things, okay? Perfectionism and fear of failing, fear of judgment, all of those pieces can get rolled into one. But when we are in a supportive environment, when conversations often occur around letting things go, we talk about perfectionism as something that holds us back rather than something that we want to embrace. We talk about a phrase, better done than perfect. That is one of the things, the cornerstones of what we do inside the Rockstar Success Circle, is we want to get things done but not to the point where we're stuck in In that perfectionism. And to reduce the fear of judgment on things, you have people around you who are supporting you and you could literally say, ugh, I'm not sure if this is going to be a great thing. There's conversations. Well, what is this thing? Tell us about it. Either somebody's going to help you make it better because you're bouncing ideas off each other and you're going to feel more comfortable releasing it without the judgment, or somebody's going to say, oh my God, that's the most amazing thing I've ever heard you say. Yeah, go for it, which is also going to help you remove some of that judgment. So you have people around you who are supportive and kind and helpful and who are going through the same kind of stuff you are, which is gonna help you feel less vulnerable. You're going to be able to be vulnerable with these people because you know that they're gonna support you without judgment. Those are some really important tools for you. So figuring out what kind of accountability that you need is important. Do you need somebody who's gonna give you a gentle nudge? Do you need somebody who's gonna be your cheerleader standing on the sidelines? Or do you need a let's do this together kind of buddy? Those are some questions that'd be really good to figure out what works best for you so that you can make sure you find the right support for you. Alright? We do all kinds of amazing things inside the Rockstar Success Circle that'll help you to be able to stay on track, get the kind of support that you want, and see yourself through so that you can actually get the things done that are on your to-do list and actually achieve some of the goals that have been weighing you down, maybe even for a couple years. Who knows how long you've been working on those kinds of things. We always love to break our projects down into mini milestones. We take that whole year's worth of information, we break it down into quarters and then months and then our weekly non-negotiables. Those are some really, really important things to be able to make sure that you're not focused on the big thing. It can be really overwhelming to go, oh, there's this really big task out there. But if you're just focused on these things you have to get done this week, and then every month you say, oh, I got these things done, and what's next on the list? It becomes way more manageable for you to be able to do what you need to do and accomplish your goals. So we also have the ability to create some commitment with the people inside the community because everybody knows what everybody else is up to. Well, not, you know, just what they share, but you have the ability to Say, hey, I'm going to accomplish this, or I'm going to accomplish that. And people are then listening. Now we're not alone. We've told other people what our goals are. We've told other people what we're trying to accomplish. And so now that self-accountability isn't as weighing because now we've told other people. So now we're accountable to be able to come back to the group and say, I did or didn't, or this happened or this didn't. But there's a lot of support around what's going on in your life. For making sure that you're able to accomplish these things for yourself. So when you're looking for something to help you to be able to do these things inside your business, make sure that you're thinking, what do I need as a human being? If you don't know what you need, then you wanna start thinking about what works best for you. Think about the way people have interacted with you in the past. What works for you and what doesn't? What literally turns off your brain Versus the things that energize you. If this sounds like something that could be helpful to you, then I encourage you to join up below and get involved in our community. Be part of this amazing place where you can actually get your goals accomplished. We offer a variety of different ways to do this in terms of accountability. We are not a pushy group, but we are a group that will help you to stay on track and help you to figure out what you need to focus on next. And help you to stay on track, on point, and not so overwhelmed with all the things that are going on. We definitely are encouraging you to think about that. And as always, know that this is a supportive, understanding, caring, and loving environment where you get the support that you need. All right? So other than that, if you think this isn't the right thing for you, I just encourage you to think, What are the things that I need? What kinds of accountability do I need? What kind of support do I need? And then start looking for a group or community or a coach that can give you those kinds of things. Always make sure that you know what your trajectory is, you know what you're trying to accomplish. If you want help with this thing that we're talking about, you're talking about how you can actually accomplish your goals. If you want help with that, and if what I've talked about doesn't align with you, you're like, that is So not my jam, find something else that is. But take into account what works best for you and then go find the right program for you, okay? Hope you have a fantastic day and I look forward to talking to you next week. Have a good one. Bye for now. Thank you so much for listening to the Overgivers Anonymous podcast. Your support means the world to me. You can find show notes for this episode and other goodies at overgiversanonymous.ca. And if you enjoyed this episode or you enjoy the podcast in general, why not join us in the Overgivers Anonymous Facebook group where you can connect with overgivers from all over the world. Head on over to geekygirl.ca/group.