538. Read Out Loud with me! Dare to Lead by Brené Brown | Pronunciation & Vocabulary practice

Hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of Read Out Loud with Me, where we get to read excerpts from book that I love and practice vocabulary, pronunciation, and intonation. And today we are going to read from Dare to Lead by Brené Brown. Now, Brené Brown, whether you have read her books or watched her TED Talk, very famous TED Talk, or, uh, watched her Netflix show, I am sure that as a non-native speaker, you, there's a lot that you can take from her work. And if you don't know her, I highly recommend for you to check out her work. Now, if you're new to my channel, my name is Hadar. I'm a non-native speaker of English, and I'm here to help you speak English with clarity, confidence, and freedom. And reading out loud is one of the ways in which I love practicing English. With my students, I've actually prepared for you a playlist with other episodes of reading out loud. So if you like this one, make sure to check all the other ones. So let's get started with Dare to Lead. People often ask me if I still get nervous when I speak in public. Nervous, nervous. Speak, haiyi, speak. People, tense E, people. The answer is yes. I'm always nervous. Experience keeps me from being scared, but I'm still nervous. Okay, just follow me. Experience keeps me from being scared, but I'm still nervous. So she distinguishes between being scared, which seems to be a little bit more negative in the context of what she says, But she says, I'm still nervous. Okay? Suggesting maybe that it's not a bad thing. And now she's explaining. First, people are offering me their most precious gift, their time. Precious, precious, precious. People, remember? P and a high E. People are offering me their most precious gift. Their time. Time is, hands down, our most coveted, most unrenewable resource. Hands down is without a doubt or clearly the case. Time is, without a doubt, our most coveted. Coveted is desired by many people. Cuh, cuh. Even though there's an O here, you pronounce it like a cup sound, like company. Like love, coveted, coveted with a flap T. Most unrenewable resource. Once used, it cannot be replaced. Time is, hands down, our most coveted, most unrenewable resource. Notice what happens when I say this clause between 2 commas, hands down. So it's kind of like I'm saying time is our most coveted, most unrenewable resource. And for me to indicate that there is a clause there, that it's kind of like an insert, I change my pitch. Listen. Time is, hands down, our most, going back to the same pitch, coveted, most unrenewable resource. Try it with me. Time is, hands down, our most coveted, most unrenewable resource. Okay, that was fun. Now I'm going to read that part from the beginning, and I'm going to do it slowly, and I'm not going to pause. So if you need, you can pause and repeat, or you can just speak on top of me, right? I'm going to guide you through it. All right, let's do it. And remember the things that we have discussed. People often ask me if I still get nervous when I speak in public. The answer is yes, I'm always nervous. Experience keeps me from being scared, But I'm still nervous. First, people are offering me their most precious gift, their time. Time is hands down our most coveted, most unrenewable resource. If being on the receiving end of one of life's most valuable gifts fails to leave you with a lump in your throat or butterflies in your stomach, Then you're not paying attention. On the receiving end of something is to be the one who receives something. And a lump in your throat, I'm sure you know what that feels like. It's that feeling, that tight feeling in your throat when you have strong emotions. And butterflies in your stomach, probably I don't have to explain it, but it's that feeling of like nervous, but like nervous fluttery feeling. It's like nervous light. Nervous light. Nervous, excited sometimes. Let's read it again. If being on the receiving end of one of life's most valuable gifts, life's most, say it together, life's most valuable gifts fails to leave you with a lump in your throat or butterflies in your stomach, then you are not paying attention. So look at what she does here. She says, yeah, I'm nervous, right? Because we usually think that being nervous is a bad thing when you speak in public, but she's like, Mm-mm, no, I'm reframing it for you. Not only that I'm not nervous, I think you should be. You should be nervous because someone is giving you their time, which is a precious gift. And I think in the context of speaking a second language, I know that it's a real thing because a lot of people have this fear of wasting other people's time. Right? And, um, maybe not understanding someone or not being clear enough and then having to repeat it or ask them to repeat themselves, and it makes them feel nervous, probably for the very same reason. Second, speaking is vulnerable. Vul-nur-able. Vulnerable. I don't memorize my lines or have a set shtick. That I do verbatim. A set shtick is a fixed routine done in the same way each time, like a magician that has a show and the magician has a set shtick. And verbatim, this is a good word, probably not that common. Verbatim is word for word, exactly as said. Verbatim. Effective speaking is about the unpredictable and Uncontrollable art of connection. Very relevant for our work, I have to say. Unpredictable, unpredictable, and uncontrollable. Say it with me, uncontrollable art of connection. Okay, so the art of connection is unpredictable. You cannot predict it, and you cannot Control it, 'cause it's not just you. You are actually connecting. And she says that even in public speaking where you need, you have like your own thing to say, you don't want to necessarily control it 'cause you want to recognize what is happening in the room. So let's read it again. This time I won't be explaining. You just repeat after me, shadow me. Second, speaking is vulnerable. I don't memorize my lines or have a set shtick that I do verbatim. Effective speaking is about the unpredictable and uncontrollable art of connection. And again, I'm gonna take a minute and explain again why this is so relevant, because non-native speakers, they wanna get it right. They wanna say the words exactly how it's planned out in their head or how they've memorized them, not to make grammar mistakes, not to use the wrong words, not to go off on a tangent. And the thing is that when you try to control it, you lose the art of connection because something that happens when you're just in your head prevents you from being present and connecting with others. Even though it's just me on stage and possibly 10,000 people sitting in folding chairs in convention centers, I try to look into as many pairs of eyes As I can. So yes, I'm always nervous. Okay, let's do it again. Even though it's just me on stage. Notice the rhythm here. Even though it's just me on stage and possibly 10,000 people, 10,000, 10,000 people sitting in folding chairs. Oh, folding chairs in a convention center. Or convention center, I try to look into as many pairs of eyes as I can. So yes, I'm always nervous. I have a couple of tricks that I've developed over the past several years that help me stay centered. So developed, developed, developed, no O. I have a couple of tricks. We can connect it. I have a couple of tricks. That I've developed over the past several years. Notice the chunks that I'm reading it in, right? It's not word for word or word by word, but chunk by chunk. I have a couple of tricks that I've developed over the past several years that help me stay centered, or centered, and it's unstressed. Even though it makes event production teams crazy, event production teams Crazy. So we have production teams, that's like the subject. Event describes it, so it's a little lower in pitch. Event production teams, crazy, that's what happens to them. I always ask for the stage lights to be at 50%, percent. When they're at 100%, you can't see the audience at all, and I don't like talking into the void. The void is empty, dark nothingness. I can, by the way, so relate because when I teach, I love it when my students have their cameras on, and sometimes I teach in companies where they bring me to talk to their employees, and people are not that engaged. They don't know, and they don't have their cameras on, and I speak to pretty much myself, maybe one person in a bunch of black screens and I'm like, oof, I, I can't. I don't, I don't like talking into the void. All right? So I can relate. I need to see enough faces to know if we're in sync. If we're, we are, we're, and when you reduce it, we're, we're in sync. So to be in sync is to be connected and moving together in harmony. This is something you can't control because it's not just you, it's you and the other person. I need to see enough faces to know if we're in sync. Are the words and images pulling us together or pushing us apart? Pulling us together. Pull, push, pull, push. Pulling us together or pushing us apart. Pull together, push apart. 2 good phrases to know. Pulling us together is to bring people closer and to unite them, and to push them apart is to divide people Or create distance? Are they recognizing their experiences in my stories? Recognizing, Z, not recognizing. Don't turn it into an S. Are they recognizing their experiences in my stories? I'm going to read it again and you just shadow me. When they're at 100%, you can't see the audience at all. And I don't like talking into the void. I need to see enough faces to know if we're in sync. Are the words and images pulling us together or pushing us apart? Are they recognizing their experiences in my stories? People make very specific faces when they're hearing something that rings true for them. People, don't forget the people. Rings true is to feel genuine, real, or accurate. So they hear those stories and It's kind of like, oh, I see myself in it. And then they have that aha moment on their face. This is what she's looking for. They nod and smile and sometimes cover their faces with their hands. Okay? Nod, to move your head to show agreement, right? I see them nodding. When it's not landing, I get the side tilt and less laughter. When it's not landing, when they don't get it, when a message is clearly understood, right? Sometimes people might ask you, does it land? Do you get it? Am I being clear? I get the side tilt. I'm just gonna show you what that is, right? The side tilt, a sideway head lean, right? I don't know if I get it. And less laughter, clearly. Laughter. Okay, so let's read it again. People make very specific faces when they're hearing something that rings true for them. They nod and smile and sometimes cover their faces with their hands. When it's not landing, I get the side tilt and less laughter. I have another trick I use when anxious event organizers, anxious, anxious, anxious. Try encouraging me to up my game by describing the status of the audience members. Up my game. Up my game is to improve or to try harder. An organizer might say, hey, Brené, just so you know, the audience tonight includes top military brass. Top brass is the most senior, high-ranking leaders. Top military brass. So I'm gonna do it again. I have another trick I use when anxious event organizers try encouraging me to up my game by describing the status of the audience members. An organizer might say, hey, Brené, just so you know, the audience tonight includes top military brass. They'll mention the high-level corporate leaders. Listen to all those set phrases: high-level, Set phrase, stress on the first word. Corporate leaders, also a set phrase, even though there is no dash in between. And we have 2 of them together. High-level corporate leaders, elite members of this or that super special group. Super special, super special, super special group. The top glass ceiling breakers in the world. Glass ceiling breakers. Again, breakers is the noun, and glass ceiling is a set phrase that describes breakers. So listen to the rhythm and the intonation here. The top glass ceiling breakers in the world. Or my favorite, these actually are rocket scientists who will probably hate what you're saying, so stick to the data or data. You can say both. And to stick to is to stay with something and not to move away. So don't tell jokes, don't tell stories, just share the data. Now shadow me. They'll mention the high-level corporate leaders, elite members of this or that super special group, the top glass ceiling breakers in the world, or my favorite, these actually are rocket scientists who will probably hate what you're saying, so stick to— This strategy is often employed. Employed. Employed. To employ is to use a method, tool, or strategy. So this strategy is often employed When the audience seems somewhat resistant, resistant, because they don't know why I'm here, or worst-case scenario, that's a good phrase to know. Worst, worst, worst case, case. And when you connect it, worst case, you don't have to pronounce the T between 2 consonants. Worst-case scenario. Oof, such a good tongue twister. Or, Worst case scenario, they don't know why they've been forced to be there with me. They've been forced. They've been, they've been, they've been forced to be there with me. Now shadow me. This strategy is often employed when the audience seems somewhat resistant because they don't know why I'm here, or worst case scenario, they don't know why they've been forced To be there with me. In these cases, my strategy is a take on the classic picture the audience naked trick. Do you know this? It's like when people tell you that if you have the fear of public speaking, you should just picture the audience naked, and that would make you feel less intimidated by them. Uh, a take on is a personal version of something. Okay? And to picture is to imagine. Rather than picturing naked people sitting in the auditorium chairs, auditorium, auditorium chairs, which just doesn't work for me. Doesn't. You don't really pop the T. Which just, just doesn't, which just doesn't. That's a good phrase. Which just doesn't work for me. Work. Picture people without the armor of their titles, positions, power, or influence. She closes the circle really nicely because she says, oh, they're preparing me for it and they're telling me they're so important and they're this and they're that. And she's like, I'm just stripping them away from all of these titles in my mind. Armor, by the way, is protection in this Context is the shield of someone's status. So shadow me now. In these cases, my strategy is a take on the classic picture the audience naked trick. Rather than picturing naked people sitting in auditorium chairs, which just doesn't work for me, picture people without the armor of their titles, positions, Power or influence. When I spot the woman in the audience who has her lip pursed and her arms tightly folded across her chest— pursed, pursed, pursed. Pursed lips is lips pressed tight, showing disapproval. It's this. Do this with me. When you say pursed, you have to purse your lips a little bit. and her arms tightly folded across her chest, I picture what she looked like in 3rd grade. So again, when I spot a woman in the audience who has her lips pursed and her arms tightly folded across her chest, I picture what she looked like in 3rd grade. 3rd, 3rd, 3rd grade. If I'm hooked by the guy who keeps shaking his head and making comments like, winners aren't weak at work, Winners aren't weak at work. I try to picture him holding a child or sitting with his therapist. Therapist. So she says at the beginning, if I'm hooked by the guy who keeps shaking his head, hooked by is caught or bothered by something, right? Like when you see something in the corner of your eyes and you're like, this is bothering me, I can't stop looking at it. So she's like, okay, I see that he's disapproving and he doesn't agree with me, so I try to make him vulnerable, right? Picture him holding a child or sitting with his therapist, which again is such a good strategy, especially when you speak to someone that you feel intimidated to speak with. Maybe it's a native speaker, maybe it's a colleague, maybe it's your boss, and you're You feel like they're evaluating you or judging you. This is such a good strategy to use and to just make them vulnerable and them in need in a way, or just softer, or just without their armor, as she says. And continuing, or honestly sitting with a therapist I think he should see. That's a little joke. Maybe he's not seeing a therapist and he should see a therapist. If I'm hooked by the guy who keeps shaking his head and making comments like, Winners aren't weak at work, I try to picture him holding a child or sitting with his therapist, or honestly, sitting with a therapist I think he should see. Notice the kind of like sarcasm in my voice. Try to imitate that. Or honestly, sitting with a therapist I think he should see. Before I go on stage, I whisper the word people. 3 or 4 times to myself. People, people, people. To whisper. To whisper. I whisper the word people. Again, let's do it again. Such a beautiful part. Before I go on stage, I whisper the word people 3 or 4 times to myself. People, people, people. Why? Because They are just people. And even when we speak to someone else, even when we speak to someone who intimidates us, where we feel like we have to be at our top game or just to not make mistakes so we don't feel shame or humiliated, remember that you are a person and they are people. And that beautiful reminder is An opportunity to remember what this is about, not just speaking on stage, not just speaking in public, but just speaking, especially in a second language. All right, my friends, that is it. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, make sure to let me know in the comments, first of all, so I know. I mean, I need to know what's happening, and sometimes posting a video on YouTube is like it feels one-sided, and when you guys interact and comment and send me messages, then I just feel the connection. I love seeing you comment on my videos. Second, if you like this type of practice, pronunciation, intonation, vocabulary, I have a whole bunch of other videos that you can definitely check out. It's organized for you in the playlist in the description below this video. And if you want to follow me and find out more about the work that I do, then you can follow me on social media right here, or go to my website at hadarshemesh.com for a ton of free resources. Because remember, I'm here to help you speak English with clarity, with confidence, and with freedom. Thank you so much for joining me. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day, and I'll see you next week in the next video. Bye.