The Remedy For Low Confidence and Awkwardness

How do people develop charisma? Are you born with it? Can you develop it if you don't have it? If someone doesn't feel like they're charismatic, what would they do?

So thank goodness, charisma can be learned. It can be cultivated. And researchers out of Princeton University studied what is charisma, what makes us drawn to certain people. And they found that charisma is a perfect blend of two traits, warmth and competence. The reason we like highly charismatic people is because when you see them first, they're signaling very high warmth, trust, likability, friendliness, openness. But at the very same time, they're also signaling competence. You can rely on me. I'm effective. I'm capable, I'm efficient. We love to be around people who quickly answer two questions. Can you trust me? And can you rely on me? This makes up 82% of our impressions of people. So when you ask, is it important, it is essential. People who signal high in warmth are interrupted more in meetings. They get more pushback on their numbers when they ask for salary or raise. They have a harder time closing in sales and negotiations. Or you signal too high competence without enough warmth. And people take you very seriously. People say that you're intimidating.

Cold.

Hard to talk to, you can't make friends, you can't click with people. People have trouble trusting you. They think you're smart. They have trouble trusting you. And the bonus of that is, once you begin to learn, there are 97 signals for warmth and competence. You also can decode people better. So you show up in a room and you can say, wow, this is a very high competence room. I have the choice to dial up competence to match if I want to, or the choice to dial up warmth if I have to. I think that control gives us a lot of confidence, and I think it's the antidote to awkwardness.