Women seek connection through conversation and eye contact, which releases oxytocin. Men get irritable without dopamine hits from activities like surfing or golf. The mismatch: she wants him to intuit her needs, he's lost in the details. Give him time away to recharge, and he comes back less irritable.
Chapters
Now, what do you say to the woman who says, my man should know that by now, I shouldn't have to tell him? Relationship skills, these aren't things that we are taught in school, and they're not instinctual because your man wants to solve a problem. In other words, one of the primary feel-good chemicals for the feminine is oxytocin. The way we get oxytocin is through connection and staring in each other's eyes, or simply talking gives us oxytocin because that's more connection. So you look at the way women talk in conversations and They'll often use way more words. They'll elaborate the conversation. They'll tell every single detail of this conversation. And the man is going, where is this going? What's the point? Because for the masculine, it's not oxytocin, it's dopamine. And the dopamine gets achieved by achieving a goal. There's a technique called give your man dopamine time. Like if you notice he's frustrated and he's kind of irritable, think back, when was the last time he went and hung out with the fellas or got time away going to do something active where he wasn't in his brain doing business or he wasn't connecting with family or being dad to the kids. And often one of the solutions is called dopamine time where you're like, look, you need to go surfing or golfing or go hang out with the buddies or like do something where you're actually competitive. And he will come back feeling a completely different way because his feel-good chemical had gotten depleted and now it fills back up.
