You Can Choose How You Feel with Susie Moore

All right, Susie Moore, welcome.

Hal Elrod, you are such a joy. I am thrilled to be on your show. Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah. In full transparency, this is take two. Because we were about a minute and a half into our conversation, and my computer's like, this is not recording. Start over again, yada, yada, yada. But it's all for a reason. So let's try to get back to what we were talking about. Number one is we wanted to start by acknowledging and thanking Kathy Heller, our mutual friend that introduced us.

Yeah.

And I wanted to. I'm just gonna read. I was texting her this morning and you said you were texting her too, so that's kind of funny. I was just texting her saying, I'm gonna be, you know, having Susie on the show finally. I think you and I have had a few reschedules. And here's what she texts me. This was on March 2nd, when, when I was first on your show. She said, susie loves you so much. She sent me a text about you too. You guys are sunshine. She is a beautiful soul. She's met other friends of mine and she's never texted me the way she wrote to me about you. She's one of my closest friends because she's so real and special. So that says a lot about you.

Oh, and you and me and Kathy. Right.

Like all three of us. I almost feel like Kathy should be here.

Right.

Like she's here in spirit for sure.

But you were, you were saying something. You were, you were sharing some wisdom. A gym. And then we ended up getting cut off. But you were talking about the universe being so generous. And then I responded by saying, I think it's our belief, or your belief specifically, that makes it so. If you believe the universe is out to get you, then it is. Right. Because you really create your own reality. And that is your expertise is around this topic of how to make life easy, how to perceive life in a way that, that allows you to let go of stress, experience more joy. And so back to you. Talk about what you were sharing with me earlier.

Yes. When you say when you believe it is, it is. So we hear this a lot in self help. And I think that a lot of people think that it's very woo woo, right? They're like, oh, I'll just believe that I'm this. I'll just believe that I'm that. And I mean, people have mixed opinions about it. But the way that I think about it is it's actually very practical. I think about it Hal, if I think that the universe is generous and safe and full of opportunities and kind people, then I'm probably more likely to go out and meet more people. I'm more likely to show up where new people are. I'm more likely to trust others, take a risk, you know, put myself out there in new ways. And we know that our actions create our results, right? So if my actions are being driven by possibility, thinking and by very. Coming from an expansive place, then that translates very practically speaking, into, like, real life. The same way people joke, you know, the more I work, the more I'm creative, the luckier I get, the more money I make. Right? It's not just, oh, I believe it. It's like I have a. I'm thinking about possibility here, and so that's going to drive me to take more action. And the action itself then becomes more effortless because you're not hustling and sweating. You're just like, oh, well, this is how it is. So this is a next natural action for me.

Yeah, yeah. It's so well said, and it is, in some ways, it's so simple.

But.

But I feel like very few of us maintain that realization that our perspective determines our quality of life right at the end of the day, and that life's as good or as bad. You know, it's like, I think it was Henry Ford, right? If you believe you can or you believe you can't, you're right either way. If you believe life's terrible or you believe life's amazing, you're right either way. I text this to my daughter the other day I mentioned to you she's 13 going on, you know, 20.

And she, I, you know, she's. For a long time, she's really been looking for a best friend, someone that she could really count on. And she feels like she's had friends that, you know, that, that. That she was there for, and then they. They weren't there for her or this and that. And she's truly. She's been longing for that. She's also been longing for, like, a big sister figure. And we had someone in her life that, like, thought she was going to be that and then kind of abandoned her. And so my daughter was really heartbroken over that. And then she had some. She developed some abandonment issues. When I got sick, which the other day, her and I just talked about this. She was 7 years old and thinking her parents were invincible. And then all of a sudden, oh, my gosh, Dad's lost all his hair on his body. He's lost weight, he looks sick, and he might die. And she talked about for the first time ever, how that created trauma. But anyway, here's the point exactly to what you said.

I. I just pointed out to her, I said, sweetheart, I want. And I actually sent it in a text so she'd have a record of it. I said, I want you to think about how amazing your life is right now. I know there's a million things that you think about that stress you out or worry you or this or that you were in school. And on and on I go, you have the best friend you've always longed for. You have the big sister in your life that you've always longed for. You have a mom and dad who absolutely love you and adore you. You are pursuing your passion in theater. Right. I'm like, how amazing is your life? And, you know, it just goes. Cause she's a typical teenager that's kind of morose very often, like, blah, blah. This is all, you know, like, she has. She has the typical teenager mindset, and it's like, just making her realize that, wow, your life's actually. You are so blessed. And she was like, dad, oh, my gosh, I didn't realize how. You're right. I am so blessed. Thank you so much for pointing it out. And so if you're listening right now to this, please let Susie's words sink in. Especially, I'm going to shut up here in a second. Let her keep talking. But really, to really apply this to how blessed we all are, if you're alive, you have so much to be grateful for. Susie, you wrote the book. Let it be easy. How can people let this, what is often a very stressful life, how can that become easier for people?

One thing that I've realized, Hal, along the way, is that nothing outside of us has to change in order for us to have a completely different life experience.

Okay.

Right. Like, you just shared, you know, the text message exchange with your daughter, your very open dialogue with her as a father, which is so wonderful. Like, truly, just listening to it makes me feel warm for your family.

Yeah.

When your daughter just has that context switch in her mind, right. Of like, I don't have this. I don't have that to. I've got my mom, my dad, my theater. I have everything. What outside of her changed?

Yeah. Nothing.

What, did something arrive? Did she get a big package saying, you know, here's everything. Nothing actually changes? And what I've noticed is that the reason that we suffer so much, we feel so much stress Is because we think that certain things need to be in place. People need to change. That's a big one. We think that things need to be different on the outside. And we think that that's where, like, that's where the magic is, right? Or that's where the power is. And if you put two people in any situation, say, an unwanted situation or an undesirable situation, the person who's like, this sucks versus oh, okay, what now? I'm a resourceful person. I'm good at figuring things out. You'll have completely different experiences, and number one, you have more fun in the process. But also, when we're stressed out or when we're really leaning into what can't be done, we don't. Our brain can't think of options. Yeah. And it's the person in any situation who acknowledges their options, who realizes that there's always A minimum of 3 in any situation. A minimum of 3. Truly think about it. You start to realize how actually powerful you are. So, for example, if you hate your job, sometimes you're like, well, I'm stuck with it. The market's bad. This is my fate. Well, think about what your options are. Number one, is that even true? We assume things are just true and fixed, and there is so much more flexibility often than we realize, but we're not even connecting to that part of ourselves. Maybe your job actually could be improved somehow, too. Could you make a lateral move? Could you make some cool connections at work that maybe open up some new opportunities for you? Could you have a conversation with somebody at work? Could you even go, you know what? I don't like it, but I only have to stick it out for one more year, and then I can do something else. And then you can even have a temporary mindset with it. What are your options? When we let things get really hard in our lives, often we're shutting down. We're not seeing the full possibility, and we're really limiting ourselves, and we don't intend to do this right. We think that we're being responsible. We think that, you know, this is reality. But I think that when an expectation isn't met or we think something outside of us has to be different, there's a lot of unnecessary suffering, and we're missing out on a whole lot of joy.

Yeah. Yeah. No, you're so right. I want to dive really deep into that. But I want to. I want to take a step back and talk about kind of you, your background. And here's what I. Where I want to go with this is that I know you grew up in a chaotic environment.

And now you're a world renowned life coach. But not just any world renowned life coach. Like, you've been on, you know, Oprah, today's show, right? Like, there's a lot of life coaches out there. I was a life coach back in the day. But you've really taken it to another level with, you know, books, sharing your coaching. You know, you have multiple books, you have a top rated podcast. And so I want to, I want to kind of understand your journey from what was childhood like, where did you grow up? What was that like? And then how did you evolve into who you are today? And this very, you know, literally light. L I G H T. You're a light.

You.

You bring light to people's lives. And how'd you go from. What was it like growing up and how'd you get to where you are today?

Yes, well, I, Hal had the gift of an early struggle.

Okay.

So I think that those of us who have maybe parents or a situation growing up that maybe is. It wouldn't be what you choose, like, if you could have your selection of, you know, what will my childhood be like? So I grew up in the uk. My father was addicted to drugs and alcohol. He died when I was 19 from addiction. Because there was. Yeah, because there was so much chaos in my family. We lived in various domestic violence shelters. We were constantly moving. I went to over like 25 schools. It was a lot of change, no stability. And anyone who's grown up in an environment like that, you. You kind of live on high alert. Like you're kind of like waiting for something bad to happen. Or even if there's like a calm or an ease in your life, you're like, well, this can't last, right? It's just something that's programmed into you and that's okay. It doesn't mean that there's nothing we can do about it, but it's something that can happen. And I knew even when I was really young, right? So like when you live on welfare, when you have, you know, living on, wearing clothes from donation boxes, right, from the church, from the schools that we went to, I had a very big desire, right, that gave birth to a huge, huge desire within me to be successful, right? To have a healthy marriage, to have really nice clothes, to even as a kid thinking those things, to have my own apartment that was just gorgeous that I could stay in one place. Like, I would even watch tv. I didn't even know it was called New York. Then. But I'd see like these business women in a big city with high, you know, high, tall buildings and go, oh, those women have it, like, figured out. They, like, they're important and they're in charge. And I remember thinking, that's it. That's, that's what I'll do. And look, I think we always love and respect our parents no matter what, but I just knew that that wasn't going to be my life, like, and if there was going to be any change or shift, it would have to be up to me. And so I, like, left home at 18, moved country, ended up working in New York when I was 25 and by the age of 30 was making half a million dollars in the tech sector. Wow. And I was like, I've done it. I'm like, this is it. And I support my mom financially, which I'm so thrilled and happy to do. I it, like all of my dreams have come true.

Does she still live back in the uk?

She's in the uk, yeah.

Okay.

And so when I even hit, you know, hit that kind of big goal, I was like, you know what? I want something else now. You know, and sometimes I think in life how we don't always give ourselves permission to want too much because we're like, this is enough. I should be grateful. I remember feeling guilty for wanting more because I was like, check. Got a great husband, got a great apartment, you know, got a nice income, etc. But then, I don't know. I think that life has so much more than we could even fulfill in our lifetime. There's so many. I think there's a stream of miracles that enters our life, like, daily.

You had me at miracles.

Yeah. My miracle morning. I know. And so I remember just making that transition slowly as a side hustle into life coaching. But I knew I was going to go big. I didn't want to become a life coach who was getting by. I was like, I want to be the best. I want to impact the most people. I want to use my time on earth with as much intention as possible. And so, yeah, I started leveraging the media really early, just telling my stories, giving advice, and how I have no formal qualifications. I love to make this very clear upfront, including no college degree. So if someone doesn't think something's available or possible, I just love to be a real life example of what can be, despite what some people might tell you is impossible or what isn't available.

So you, you dreamt really big. You could call that, you know, ambition, right? There was an extraordinary ambition within you to achieve more and contribute more. Was that born from how difficult childhood was? You kind of touched on that. But is that where you feel like that was born? Was there ever, like a mentor in your life that instilled that in you? I know for me, I had a mentor that really believed in me more than I believed in myself. And I credit him to me, kind of making those. That defining choice to, like, go after something more than I had done before. So what, what, what for you created that fire within you?

I think it's a couple of things, right, because I do believe that we come, you know, onto Planet Earth with a divine. Yeah, something divine for us to fulfill, whatever it is, and there is no hierarchy with it. It's whatever. Whatever is meant for you is like. Is meant for you when you feel it. So I do think we come onto Planet Earth with a specific intention and I think we're given the right environment that can highlight and allow that intention to be if we're not resisting it. So, for example, one of the reasons I think that the people who've worked with me or who do work with me like me is because they know about my history, right? They know that I've had some struggles. They know what I've. What I believe about them, what I believe about any struggles that come up in my life now. And that's been a match for me, right? And that just. That just works well. I said to my mum recently, you know, because parents, I think the relationships that we have with our parents are always changing and evolving. And I said, I'm so thankful for the life that we had because it's given me so much. It was such a gift to be so clear, so young, and to be able to also have compassion for people in situations, knowing that I've been there, like, knowing that I can. I feel very comfortable with. With people, I feel very comfortable no matter even what they're going through. I'm happy talking about a lot of topics that are uncomfortable for most people also. So I feel as if we. We have. There's something that's meant. Made for us. Many things, right, we know what they are based on our intuition. So. But then also the environment that we come into, it is meant to help us and it's kind of up to us to take the gems and the jewels from the past.

I love it. So what I love about your story that you shared is that you started out with a chaotic environment. You started out with an abusive environment. You lost your dad at A young age. Right. You had every excuse. There are many people that went through a, you know, had a similar background to you and that was their excuse for why they never were going to create the life they wanted and they be really adopted a victim mentality. It's very common. Poor me, I didn't deserve any of this life, you know, my life sucks. And it's. Right, it's difficult, it's hard. You know, most people would say life is hard, work is hard, marriage is hard, friendships are hard. You know, eating healthy is hard, losing weight is hard, on and on. But the paradigm shift that, you know, you're inviting us to. Right. Is let it be easy. So now that I feel like I have a better understanding, so does our audience of who you are and kind of what your journey was a glimpse. Of course, there's so much more. But yeah, let's dive into how do if someone's listening right now and they're like, my life is hard. All right, y', all, My marriage is hard. My spouse and I are fighting like crazy. We're, I don't think we're gonna make it. I, you know, my work is hard, finding money is hard. I can't make enough money. I'm, you know, I lost my job. Whatever, Whatever. Their hard is what? You know, right now I'm bringing you and I'm hiring you, Susie, as our life coach. Coach us? How can we shift our mindset to shift our results and improve our lives?

You're right, Hal. We are programmed to think that everything's hard. Right. So for example, people say, you know, oh, my gosh, having a newborn is so hard. Oh, toddlers are the worst. Oh, middle school. That's rough. Teenagers. Oh, look out. Oh, my God. It' so hard when your kids leave for college. Hell, when are you meant to enjoy it?

Where's the good part? I remember to a famous soccer player. I don't remember his name, but he said this. He's like, when you're at the very beginning, no one knows you. When you're in the middle, people kind of respect you, but they don't really care about you. When you're at the top, people are jealous of you. And when you're at the mega top, everyone wants to bring you down. Yeah. He's like, each stage has its struggle, so you have to enjoy every stage.

Yeah.

And I think that we're waiting or we're thinking that there's going to be an improvement or we want someone else to behave a different way. Like we are waiting for Something or we are. We're. We're pretty strict on thinking that it's not us, right? It is. If only my husband would, or if only my boss would, or if only my team would. So I have a couple of questions that I love to ask myself when I'm struggling with something that's hard, right? And people say marriage is hard. Being single is hard. Renting is hard. Owning a house is hard, right? There is no big employee is hard. Running a business, oh, that's so hard, Right? So we have to have, like, a little bit of a sense of humor about this, too, because I don't know where the good part is or why we're all alive if it's all just such a struggle.

Yeah, yeah. No. Amen.

So I love to ask, you know, if someone's going through something, and sometimes it is serious, you know, but I love to go, you know, this situation that. That's making you very frustrated right now or, you know, birthing this negative emotion, how serious is it really? Like, number one, like, how serious is it really? So sometimes there can be something small that consumes us, right? Our brains are like a dog with a bone, right? When there's a problem, there's momentum. We think about it. So just say you didn't get something that you want, or a competitor got something that you want, or someone criticized you and it hurt, right? How serious is this, really? We take things so personally, we think that they're so permanent. And when you look back at your life, a lot of the disasters, right, that we had, either there was a gift in them, they came to an end, or it turns out it wasn't that bad. Right off the perspective of time, the second question I love to ask is, what are my options? Like, what are my options? Because when. When we really believe that we're stuck, like, we have to stay here, there is no room for movement. Like, this is just it. Then that's when the real suffering is right? We think that we're powerless. We think that, well, this is it. Like, this is my life. This is the situation. I can't change that person. So I'm doomed to this relationship being this way. I don't know. I am yet to have a situation with anyone. When we've looked at it in a calm, with a calm energy, probably with a bit of loosening up to thinking, like, really, what are my options? And then looking frankly for the path of least resistance. So, like, you know, how can I let this be easy? Whatever situation, even if it's like a Flight delay, something like that. Or someone going through a big career shift that's unwanted because they were made redundant from a role. Like, hmm, how serious is this really? Right. Do you still have enough to get going?

Yeah.

Are you okay for a few months? You know, like, are you, like, is your health okay? Are you. Do you think that, like, we can probably get through the next six months? Cool, right? What are your options? Get on LinkedIn, make some connections, do this, call that person, start a little something on your own. Lease out your additional bedroom. Like, what are the options? We can only do this, though, when we're being open and creative, not when we're shut down energetically. And then what's the easiest or most obvious next step I even find? Hal, I don't know if you agree with this, but I almost feel like I don't even make decisions. I'm just. The next best option is just presented to me when I'm feeling like an open channel for the right thing. It's not like, what will I decide? We just kind of know we're guided to the right or the next best thing for us.

Now you look at the options, you just pick the. What's the easy one? What's the obvious one? What's the next. Yeah, yeah.

It's like a magnet. It pulls you there. You're like, oh, okay, huh. But I will say, most people are never taught how powerful their minds are. And they're never taught how many options actually lay before them. Even if they don't seem visible, even if your friends will agree with you that your situation sucks. Even if. Even if what actually else could be true? Because I think that so much of our suffering is believing a lot of lies.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. I gave a speech once, and this gal, she was 27 years old and she saw me speak and I was talking about the power of acceptance. And I shared this perspective that every painful emotion that we've ever experienced is self created by our resistance to reality. It's wishing and wanting. Resisting reality means wishing and wanting something. We're different, that's out of our control. And she emailed me like a week or two after my speech. And she, she said, hal, when I first heard you talk about that every painful emotion we've experienced is self created. I got angry because my dad committed suicide when I was 17 years old. And I've spent the last 10 years deeply depressed over it. And everyone. And what made me think of this, Susie, is everyone in my life told me it was good. I Was supposed to. Of course you're depressed, you poor thing. Look at what you've been through. And she said, so I thought it was my dad's death that was causing me to be depressed for a decade. And no one ever told me that I had the option to accept that he was gone and change what that meant for me. And she said, since I saw you speak, I've decided the memory of my dad will never cause me again. You know, anger, depression, you know, all these emotions it's going to cause, I decided, gratitude, because I have my life because of my dad. And so why not let that be the meaning and the mem. That the memory of my dad brings forth within me. And, you know, and so it's just really powerful to think that somebody could be depressed for 10 years over something as serious as the loss of their dad. And everything you're talking about today, Susie, to me, it's like this is simply shifting their perspective and realizing they have options, different ways of looking at it. They don't have to be angry and upset. They could actually be at peace with it, you know? And so, I mean, she went from 10 years to within a matter of days. Totally shifted her perspective around that. And so I feel like if somebody could do that for such a significant experience in their life, such a traumatic experience, one that had caused them pain for 10 years, and in a matter of days, applying a lot of what you're talking about, which is shifting your.

Perspective, how that is so beautiful and powerful. I'll tell you, in my own life, too, I was divorced in my early 20s. So I remember. And actually, it's. It's happened now. So I was the first.

Okay.

Advantage in my friend group. I was the first person to be divorced. When you're divorced in your early 20s, you're a bit of a rarity, right? It's not that common. People are getting married later now. But I've since had a few friends go through that. I'm in my late 30s now. I've had many friends go through the same process, right? It happens. It's reality. It's okay. And I'm like, all right, getting divorced, cool. Like, where to now? Like, let's. Like, what do you need? You wanna have a conversation about how you feel, or should we look at your options? Should we look at. And I think that most people expect almost like this. Oh, no. Like this. And look, everyone's life and decisions are different. Like, what makes sense for someone doesn't make sense for someone else, right? This is. We're here to be uniquely ourselves. But I think, huh, okay. If someone wants to really make some great changes and if they want to enjoy even something difficult that they're going through, then I'm the person to call. Probably not the person to call, though, if you want to talk for three hours about how miserable your life.

Yeah.

I mean, I just can't.

Yeah, I'm the same. I'm the same.

You look great. Your kids are healthy. You still got that great job as an attorney. Like, yeah, yeah. You've lost everything. You've just lost a relationship and an expectation of your future. But there are many potential futures. So. Yeah, yeah.

So. So don't. Don't call. Don't call you. If I want to bitch, moan and complain for three hours and have you tell me how terrible my life is and I'm a poor thing. So not. You're not the one to call.

Plenty of people who will listen, and they, like. There are plenty of people who will do that. But I think, yeah, I don't. You know how? I think that I program my friends this way, too. No one calls me with their problems like that. They do call me, though, if they want to, like, see some positive change and take some action.

Yeah.

And then we have fun.

Instead of a pity party, it's a progress party. Right. Like, you're like, all right, let's not focus on the pity. Let's focus on the progress.

Right. With cupcakes. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. No, it reminds me, someone brought up the other day, Byron, Katie, and I, you know, her work, loving, what is. And they said, like, what you just said about your friend in the divorce, Byron, Katie, something. I'm going to just paraphrase, but it was her. Someone asked her, hey, how's your mom doing? And she's like, well, she's dead, so she's great.

But, like, literally smiled, you know, And I think she'd only passed away, like, a few months before or something, but. But it's just this idea that, like, look, life's going to do what life's going to do, and you literally have a choice to be miserable or whatever the opposite of that is for you. Grateful, happy, at peace, whatever. Life's going to do what it's going to do. And to me, the best proof, anytime I'm, you know, you or I are talking to someone and you have the skeptic like, yeah, right. You can't just choose to be happy. You can't choose to be whatever. It's because we have this Paradigm that we've been conditioned to believe, which is, when good things happen, I'm allowed to feel good, and when bad things happen, I have to feel bad. And how about no matter what happens, you get to choose how you feel?

Like, that's what you're empowering people to realize that they have control. They can choose how they feel. What would you say about that?

I think that choosing how you feel is the ultimate superpower. And I think that if everyone on earth could know this, could know that you choose, could know that. Maybe not immediately, maybe not every single time, and maybe not perfectly, but more than probably, we all do. Choosing how you feel, like, with intention. Like, even the other day, how I. You know, sometimes you just wake up and you're in a low mood. This is why you need hell's books. And.

But it's not even an identifiable thing. Like, sometimes with women, it's to do with our cycle, too. Like, but we have the. I'm just feeling like. And I'm almost, like, looking for a reason to pin it on. Like, why do I feel a bit low today or a bit anxious or something like that? You know, I'm like, who can be at fault here? Who can I blame?

Yeah.

I remember thinking, you know, as I was just. I was like, lying down. I wasn't even out of bed yet. I was thinking, I'm not gonna feel this way today. Because I knew. I knew how the day would go, right? It'd be like, cancel my meeting or, like, oh, cancel my workout or put on the tv. You know, we can go there, right? And sometimes we need to do that, right? Sometimes we absolutely need to.

Sure.

But I was like, I. I'm not gonna do that, like, today. Today is not the day. There could be another day where I do that. But today is going to be a very good day. Today is a very good day. And I'm just thinking, then I start putting on, like, a Pepper YouTube video. Maybe some Abraham Hicks, maybe some Byron, Katie. And then I'm like, okay, what's coming? What. What's happening today? Okay. How all these things that I have once a dream, right? How I learned about your book when I still had a corporate job, right? Like, your book has been in the mix in my world forever. And here I am speaking to you. I mean, what a blessing. What a privilege. I mean, what am I gonna do? Go, oh, you know, I'm busy today. It's a summer Friday. I was like, no, what more can I. And I've got calls after this. I'm like, what a great day. Like, I dreamt I prayed for these things. Yeah, here they are. You know, a friend of mine said recently she's got twins. They're driving her crazy, you know, kids. And she's like, I prayed for them. She had a long fertility journey.

Yeah.

You know, and she's like, I prayed for these kids and now they're driving me crazy. And I'm like, yeah, but remember, like when it was all you want, you're not meant to be a Buddha all the time. But sometimes we can come back to how serious is this? Right? Like, yeah, you're exhausted or yeah, you feel a bit anxious today. It's okay. Like there's something else we can do. What's going. Right. What would you, five years ago think about your problem today? Because as you progress in life, your problems, they don't go away, but they get, they become better problems.

Yeah, yeah. And you're able to. It's how you look at them. Right. Again, the problem is if this is the, if you aren't capable of seeing it other than this all consuming, self destructing problem, then it's going to be challenging. I want to go through the questions that you asked for anyone that's struggling or having stress over how serious is it really? One of my mentors taught me the question, which to me is a very similar question, will this matter in five years? Right.

And most of the time it won't. But sometimes if it's a divorce or something, you might go, well, yeah, it's going to matter. But I think it goes to your next question, which is what are my options? And you talked about the ultimate superpower, and I agree with you 100% is to choose how you feel in any given moment, regardless of your circumstances. And to me, when it comes to what are my options, that's the first and most important option, which is how do I want to feel right now? What emotion, what mental and emotional state would best serve me in this moment to get through this experience? And it's usually not overwhelm. That's not the emotional state that would best serve you or depression or, you know, and to realize that you get to choose and then what's the easiest and most obvious next step? And you talked about something which is, right, you woke up, you know, you, you're feeling, you're just in a funk, right? I have those days where like, why am I in a funk? I have no idea. But I'm in a funk, right? And okay, now my, my choice, do I ride the funk Wave and keep going further down the rabbit hole and you know, keep getting funkier, getting, getting more upset and. Right. Or do I shift my focus and ask myself what do I need to do to feel empowered, to feel better? And I love what you talked about, which is you'll put on some Abraham Hicks, you know, some audiobook, some. And I want you to think about this if you're listening. If you are in a stressful, fearful state, right? Turning on the news, which by default will automatically cause you to feel more fear and more stress, because that's literally what the news does. It's selling fear, selling stress, so on and so forth. But if you go listen to a Susie Moore podcast, right, Or a Kathy Heller podcast or an achieve your goals, you know, what am I bought? Whatever, right. It's, it's now it is literally shifting your focus in a positive direction. And so in terms of an easiest and most obvious next step, Susie, that's what I usually do when I'm in a funky is I realize I need to read something or watch something or listen to something positive.

What's your go to? What's your go to? Hal, I'm curious, like, if you're like, oh, I'm not feeling that good, like, what do you do? Is it a video you watch? Is it a book you go to?

It's usually a book. So I actually keep, I'm glad you asked me this. So I keep in my bedside table, you know, next to my bed, it's a three drawer. It's got three drawers. One of the drawers is half a dozen of my favorite feel good books. So these are books that I've already read. So and when I read, I underline every line that I'm ever going to want to read again. And that usually is about, you know, 20% of the book. I mean, I underlined a lot. But now I can go back and reread that book in 20% of the time and get everything back or go to certain chapters. But the point for that, in the evening, when I read in the evening, I don't want to read a new book because I have to really focus and I have to really pay attention to use a lot of mental energy to, you know, and it can stimulate me because I'm trying to. Oh, I got to underline. No, I only read books that I've already read. And so for example, the Untethered Soul is one of those books.

Yes.

And speaking to the superpower that you address, Susie, you know, you said being able to choose how you Feel is the greatest superpower. Michael Singer, I think it was in the untethered soul might have been living untethered. Both of those books are in my drawer. But he said, and I'll paraphrase, but he said, what matters is learning how to feel good. He goes, if you could feel up all the time and feel light and happy and grateful, it doesn't matter what happens in life. If you went through your entire life and you got to the end, you're like, dude, I enjoyed it all. They're like, but wait, you had cancer and you got a divorce and you have, like, what do you mean you enjoyed it all? You're like, I just. I just chose to enjoy it all. I had a great life. They're like, interesting because I didn't have the problems that you had, but I had a crappy. I had a really stressful life. So it's all about how you look at it, right?

Oh, my gosh, Hal, you know what? I think this is like a vision I have. Okay, so whatever you believe, right, Just say that there is an off. Say there's a heaven that we go to, right? And everyone has different beliefs, but just say at the end of it all, so your soul leaves your body along with the other souls on earth that leave the precise same time. And just say you're walking towards heaven's gates, right? Or whatever you believe, believe. But there's a bunch of you and you're going towards, right, the next stage. Yeah, the next realm. Who is the winner in that group of souls, right? Is it going to be the person who's like, I, you know, I was a model, right? Or someone who was like, oh, man, like, I slayed in the stock market or, you know, I. I was on the COVID of a mag. Like, whatever. I had my own reality show, you know, but. Or is it the person who just says, you know what? I really enjoyed that I really enjoy. I really, like, think about if someone's. If there are people leaving a wedding or a party or anything, right? A cruise ship. The winner is the person who's like, I really enjoyed the cruise. Like, I really enjoyed that barbecue. I really enjoyed. Versus, oh, well, this wasn't perfect. And that was cold and she was mean and that wasn't on time. And oh, man, the weather rained. It's like, at the end of it all, isn't the winner the first is like, I had a good time.

Yeah.

Like, everything else that we want, right? Including maybe model looks or money. Whatever it is, it's because we Think we'll be like, oh, it'll give me a good time. Yes. Right. So you just, you. You cut out the middleman. Yeah, right. And you're like, hey, you know, I'm having a good time. Even, Even if there's a delay in your life, even if there is a. Like an unwanted outcome or sometimes people say failure, right. It's like, huh, like, what? You. You won't be up all the time, right. Naturally, we can't be. But what, what do. What. Can we drop some resistance around? Like, can we. We can have the. The experience, but without the whole story of, you know, the thoughts that will just continue to suck the life out of us. Like, I, you know, I'm bad at this. It's not going to get better. I. Someone told me once that I'm bad at these things, and they were right. Like, there is a situation and then there's the judgment. So, like, the judgment is everything, and that's up to us. And I think that's pretty great.

I love that. I love that. Yeah. The person that wins is the person that had the best time. Right. You know, if you're like, you're, you know, because think about. We see so many successful people that are stressed to the max, that are always comparing themselves to others. So, like, like, you know, right. The person making a hundred thousand dollars a year is looking at the, you know, it's like, oh, my gosh, they're spending $200,000 a year. And then they're looking at the millionaire, and the millionaire is looking at the 10 millionaire and the billionaire and on it, you know, and it's like, you see all these celebrities that turn to drugs and alcohol and vices and even suicide because they thought that what you're talking about was in the thing they were chasing. And then they got the thing and they're like, oh, it's not in the thing, it's in me.

And another thing, Hal, that adds to this is sometimes thinking that we have something to prove or that there is a particular person we need to prove something to. So I just read this story about the Juliban Metallica. Yeah, yeah, the main guy.

Not personally, but I know of them.

I mean, it's not my kind of music, but I read this story about how the main person in Metallica was actually kicked out of the band, like, unceremoniously one night. And he was so upset, he was so mad. He was like, I'm gonna go out and, like, just absolutely destroy Metallica by being the coolest, creating the new Coolest band ever. And he created this band called Megadeath. And I'm not into heavy metal music.

Yeah.

But Megadeth were huge. They still are huge. They sell out stadiums. They are extremely well known. They are. They've sold millions and millions of records, but they don't headline like Metallica do. So by any other stretch, right, this person who said, who created Megadeth, he's probably failing in his mind, right? Because there's something to prove, I think, gosh, if you've got to be prettier than that person or you've just got to like, make, like you said, make a bit more money. I even heard how statistic that we'd rather earn 70, 100k if our friends are earning 75k and earn 200k if our friends are earning 300k.

I've heard that before too. Yeah.

Isn't that madness? Like, it's. We would at the risk or at the cost of ourselves, at the cost of our own beautiful reality. Like, we, we would still rather have like a pecking order or like something that person has to see us and, huh. Like, I wonder if that's true. I wonder if we could. I can just picture this guy touring, being so successful, going, oh, but Metallica is still the head. I'm the supporting act.

Yeah.

Wow. You've actually achieved, like, you're a dream come true for like a budding musician, like, looking at you. So I think that the comparison and the how we judge our lives compared to others matters a lot. And one of my favorite questions to ask Hal is this. How much would you love your life if you knew nothing, not one thing about anyone else's life?

I love that.

Like, how much would you, like, if you woke up in your apartment with your family in your home, looking at your garden and you knew nothing? You weren't like, oh, well, that person sold a billion books or, oh, but that person, you know, she's. She's got three salons. I've got two salons. Huh. Like, what if you just didn't know, would you. Would you think your life is pretty good?

Yeah. Yeah. I think that that's. I think that that's. It's living in ice, like, enjoying your life in isolation, right? Not comparing it to others, just going, look, I'm living this blessed life and it has its ups and its downs and its challenges, but I can choose to experience and enjoy every moment, you know, and it's like, if I do that, like Susie said, then you win if you get to the end And Michael Singer said, you get back. You look back. I was the one that enjoyed it the most. You had the bigger house, you had the faster car, you had more money, the bigger bank account. But I enjoyed it more than you, so suck it. Right.

I don't even. I don't even care.

Yeah, I've never thought of it that way, Susie. But that's it, right? If you want to get competitive, enjoy it more than your. Than them. Right? Don't worry about having the bigger house or the more bigger bank account. Can you enjoy it more? And if you. If you enjoy it more than anybody else, you're the most successful person on the planet. And we can all choose that. It's like you said in the beginning, you're not changing anything on the outside.

Nothing.

We're just changing how we experience this one life we've been blessed to live.

I know. You know, I'm working on this piece right now for a media outlet, and it's called why Being Content is the Biggest Flex. It's like, I know that you're running around doing loads of cool things, but, man, you haven't slept. And wait, when was the last time you spoke to your wife? Like, what's going on? You know?

Yeah.

When was last time you took, like, three weeks off and did something wild, you know, just for you, huh? Like, you know, always an interesting thing to think about. Yeah, I had the. I had the best time. I think that I like that to be my tombstone. I had the best time.

Susie Moore, she had a best. She had the best time. That's right. So you mentioned working on this. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You mentioned you're working on this media piece. What else are you working on right now? What's. What is. What's the main focus? What's. What's lighting you up? What's exciting? Obviously, your book. Let it be easy. I mean, I'm sure, you know, you still want to share that with as many people as you can.

Yes. Yes.

What do you. What do you want people to. Yeah. What are. What are you working on? What are you sharing?

One thing that's bringing me a lot of joy right now, Hal, is frankly my podcast. I drop daily episodes, five minutes every day, where I just. I talk about things that, in my opinion, like, matter. Things that can make differences in our lives. Different shifts, small things that are easy to implement, different fun questions to ask yourself each day, funny anecdotes, conversations. I have things I eavesdrop. I love to eavesdrop. If you ever around me, be careful. I'M like, oh, what she's saying about food? Oh, what she's saying about what's happening over in Marbella? Like, I want to know. So I just share stories, anecdotes, like, taken from my own life experience. Like you, I'm a huge reader, so I share a lot of my best stuff and really enjoy my pod. That's probably my favorite thing right now. I have so much energy for it. Like, I can just keep going and going.

Nice. That's awesome. And the name of the podcast, Let It Be Easy. Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore. Two O's, M O O R E. So the book is Let It Be Easy. Y' all can get it on Amazon. The podcast is Let It Be Easy. I mean, if you enjoyed your time with Susie today, which I'm sure you did, because it's just, just Susie, you exude so much love and positive energy, and I love that you're doing the daily podcast. I think that having a little Susie Moore in our lives every day for five or 10 minutes, like, come on, that's one of those easy things you can do, those easy next steps that can enhance your life is go subscribe to the Let It Be Easy podcast, wherever podcast, wherever you like to listen to your podcast. And, Suzy, where's the best place for people to follow you or get in touch with you?

I would just check out my site. I have a lot of free resources around confidence, around feeling good, around managing your emotions. And it's simply my name, Susie dash moore.m double o r e dot com. Lots of goodies, lots of freebies there. And it's a candy store, right? Just like life. Like, let's have a good time. How I even think, whenever I create my own materials, whatever content I'm coming up with, whatever I'm working on, I'm just playing. And I think that. That. I don't know. I think that that's probably a bit of. A Bit of a dream, too, to have fun and be relaxed with what it is that you're creating and doing. And so long as something feels good to me, then I continue to do it.

Beautiful. All right, so if you're listening, go to Susie Moore. That's S U S I E.

M O O R e dot com for all the goodies that Susie has to offer. Well, Susie, it's been a blessing. I'm sure we will do this again. By the way, do you live near Kathy?

She lives like an hour when she's in Florida. She's like an hour and like 10 minutes away. So when she's in LA. No, but when she's in Florida. Yes. And we always get together when we can. It's like the most fun.

Awesome. What city are you in in Florida?

Miami.

Have you heard of the restaurant Planta?

I love vegan.

Yes, Vegan sushi.

Are you vegan?

I'm vegan by day, Paleo by night.

I like it. No, Planter is fantastic. You've been to the one on the beach or the Coconut Grove?

Coconut Grove, yeah. And I've been to the New York location three times. That's how I discovered it in New York. And then when I was in Florida, I went with a friend, but it's incredible.

Well, let me know when you're here. I'd love to buy you some vegan sushi.

Yeah. All right, Miami. Suzy Moore. I'm gonna make sure those are linked forever. Well, Susie. All right. I love you so much. Thank you for today.

Thank you, too, Hal. Thank you. Thank you so, so, so much. I'll stay in touch and I'll speak to you soon.

All right. And don't hang up yet. Goal achievers. Thank you for tuning in to the podcast today with Susie Moore and let it be easy. Go grab her book, subscribe to her podcast, and Visit her website, susie-moore.com. love you so much. I will talk to y' all next week. Take care, everybody.