Life Changing Injury, Addiction and Divorce to Healthy Force: 21

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Heal, Nourish, Grow podcast. Today I am joined by Sarah Gagan Young, and you have already heard her bio at the start of the show here. But now I'd like to have Sarah just tell you a little bit about her and her background in your own words and kind of add some color to the bio that was already read.

Thank you so much. And Cheryl, I am so honored to be here and be on this podcast. Heal, nourish, and grow is part of my life. And, um, I think what you're doing is amazing, and I think your story is amazing. And so thank you for giving me time to introduce myself. And my, um, I've had two times where the foundation that I believed in crumbled beneath my feet, and it changed my life trajectory twice. The first time I handled it all the wrong ways. The second time I handled it the right ways. So that is what I am all about. I want to share with people the right ways, the right tools to be the best version of yourself. Um, growing up, I grew up in, uh, I grew up and I, and I did in a dysfunctional home. I had a real dysfunctional relationship with my mother, which resulted in a lot of, um, fear, a lot of feelings of I'm not enough, you know, and the, the, uh, a lot of hard times growing up. And that was when the first one of my tools is movement, and the first movement came into my life because when And I'm going to tell you this, I don't do anything small, okay? So I do everything big. And when I was having a hard time with my mom, I kept pushing back, push, push it back, pushing back. So I actually got grounded. And I was told, you can swim or you can play polo. You can swim or you can play, um, not play water polo, play field hockey. I chose to swim. And in high school, it got me out of my head. It got me out of the house. And allowed me to connect with my soul and gave me the tools to empower my life. I was able to place goals and achieve all of them. I walked into high school not knowing how to do a flip turn. I left high school All-American and being recruited all over the nation for swimming. I joined— or I, I took the scholarship to Arizona State where I proceeded to train and race, and that was my job. And I had one focus, was to go to NCAAs and Olympic trials. Everything in my life went on according to plan until boom, life comes in and throws a challenge at you. I was water skiing my junior year. I wiped out, hyperextended and dislocated my knee. I ripped my ACL, MCL, PCL, LCL cracked my tibia, took a divot out of my femur. I cracked my patella, your kneecap, and ripped all the cartilage. Usually with an injury like that, amputation is, is 99% of what happens. But movement, swimming, saved my life. My knee was so strong that it held the leg together. It held the artery together so I didn't have to lose my leg. Which is a wonderful thing. You know, I got to keep my leg, but my dreams were dashed. And when that happened, even though the knee, even though the accident had nothing to do with me, it was not my fault. I felt like a failure because the expectations I had put on myself. And my parents were doing the best that they could with what they knew, and they were going through an extremely horrific divorce. And so they were taking care of, of what they had to take care of. And I was left kind of on my own. And I, I didn't know what to do. I didn't. And so all those old fears that I spoke about earlier came rushing back. And all I wanted to do with the pain of feeling like a failure, not knowing where my future was going to take me, and then all the pain from my childhood that I never had really healed from felt horrible. And so I chose to self-medicate through drinking and using drugs.

Oh, Sarah, I like already with your story, it's like even if nothing happened after this, what an unbelievable story that you have. And I just want to thank you so much for being willing to share this with people because You know, there is a power in sharing authentically, and I think that people don't do it often enough because whether you have an embarrassing past or a painful past, um, when you first start dealing with those things, it can definitely be hard to share that. It can be hard to share it without emotion behind it. Um, and so it's obvious to me that you have done a lot of work at this point and that you are in a place where that you can share this to help others. And I'm just wanted to kind of call that out and thank you for being willing to share this because just childhood trauma is, is difficult. And, you know, so for those of you out here that this is sounding familiar to you and that you're finding, you know, initially you found sort of a what people would consider a healthier way to escape with sports and activity, but I would be willing to bet that it probably wasn't as healthy as it might appear from the outside because you were still using it as a coping mechanism. But anyway, more of your story will be revealed, and I'm sure you'll address some of that. But I kind of just wanted to take a pause there and thank you for being willing to share this, because what you're about to share next is kind of going into addiction stuff. And people that have heard me talk before, my minor is in actually in addiction studies, so I have a, a particular interest in this myself. And, um, I always enjoy, uh, you know, talking to people like you who are open and authentic about it and willing to help others in that way.

Oh, thank you so much. Um, and you're right, I was, I was ashamed for a long, long time about the way that I handled myself. And, and yet at that time, which you know from your, from, from studying it, is my brain wasn't even fully developed. You know, I was 18, 19. No, I'm sorry. I was 20 when it happened. I was a junior, junior in college, but even our brains aren't fully developed till we're 25. And which is one of the reasons why it's so important for me to share this story, because here I was an elite athlete. I was on the Dean's List. I had everything going for me. But guess what? I'm human and we all have fear. And that fear came and I didn't know what to do. And I did the only thing that made it go away that I knew at the time. And through drinking and using, I didn't— I never got out of my head. I knew I didn't listen to my soul. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I didn't listen to the whisper within that was telling me, this isn't you. These people you're hanging out with aren't you, you know? I just kept pushing it down because I didn't want to feel. And that can happen to anybody. And what I'm here to say is it doesn't have to be the rest of your life. You know, there was a time that I didn't know how to go one weekend, one week, one day without drinking or using, without being altered until Um, and that was 10 years. And in 10 years of drinking and using— what did I— were you gonna say something? Sorry.

No, just during that time, so you were still— you were finishing up school, which obviously you finished at that point. And so during this whole time you were struggling with addiction over that 10 years, what else was happening in your life at that point? I know, you know, it now shows on your bio that you're a life coach, but you're previously an attorney. So was being in law school part of this, and how did the stress of law school contribute to what was going on in your addiction process?

Well, obviously I am very high functioning.

I don't think a lot of people would have made it through law school doing that.

And looking back, I cannot believe that I did either. So I My drinking started my 5th year when I kind of pushed away the athletes. I started hanging out with the fraternity and sororities, and that's where drugs entered into my life, which at one time I never would have used, ever. It was against every moral and value that I was raised with and that I believed in. And so then I left again. I told you my parents were going through this horrendous divorce, 6 years. I had nowhere to go home to. There wasn't a home because it was so fragmented. So I moved to California, to Manhattan Beach, I coached 3 swim teams. I started a swim clinic program in Manhattan Beach Country Club that was flourishing. But I was alone. I was alone. And I know that there's people out there, you know, that you can feel in the midst of I was in the midst of this beach town, and yet I felt totally, totally alone. And I only was in California for less than a year. I had been away from the Midwest, Chicago. Don't ask me now that it's 19 below freezing why I came back. I do not know. But I— it was important to— for me to get back to my roots. So I went back to Chicago. After my parents' divorce was final, and I, um, I went to law school. So I was in law school and working down at the Mercantile Exchange. I went to law school in, in the evenings, worked during the day. Um, and anybody that knows anything about the Mercantile Exchange and the Board of Trade, that was not a very healthy environment for someone that might have an alcohol and drug problem at all. But I was able to get through law school and graduate. Um, and yet guess what was the only bar that I couldn't pass? The Illinois State Bar to get my attorney's license. So that came later, um, after I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I can remember the day that I was The day that I was laying on my bed and I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to kill myself, but I didn't want to wake up. And the tears before I even opened my eyes, I was laying on the bed. I was not laying— I was diagonal on the bed, on my king bed. The light was coming in kind of fragmented with the blinds were just slid a little bit. I could feel the sunshine on my face, and the tears were running down my face, and I was so hopeless. Um, and I said, God, help me do your will, not mine. And I got up and I called, and I, uh, went into treatment.

And so when you say you called, were— did you, um, just so that people that are familiar with this, a lot of people end up going to AA, but it sounds like you might have went a step further and gone to an in-treatment facility or in-house treatment facility.

I actually had been to, I actually had an intervention with my family. That's a story maybe for a different time. That was really fun. That was really fun. I thought it was a birthday party and I walked in and everyone's in a semi-circle and I was like, oh.

It's like how not to do it, right? This does not look like a party.

So I had been to rehab at Hazleton, which was a wonderful, wonderful facility in Minnesota. And I— that was the first time I kind of— I cleaned my body out. I got back in the pool, but I didn't go for me. And I believe that, like, I knew when I was there that I was going to go back out there, which I did for a very short time, very short time. Went back out there. And so it was right after that, that I was in bed and that I was at my bottom and I asked for help. In my bottom, I should have had so many other bottoms, you know. I got into a car accident. I overdosed. I had horrific things that people would think, oh, well, she'll get it now. No. Everybody has their own bottom. Mine was I betrayed a secret. I hurt someone that I love so fiercely by telling the secret. And that was it. I was done. I was done with myself. I was sick and tired of being the woman that I had turned into. And so I did, which is another tool for my toolbox, is prayer. I prayed. For some— for something outside of me to give me an answer. And so when I got up and called, I called. So I went to two treatment centers. I went to an outpatient treatment center at a hospital that was right in the suburb that I lived in. And, um, that's, that's when I made the decision and I, uh, got clean and sober. And that was almost 18 years ago, and I have never ever looked back. So you do not have to relapse. You don't. Um, and from the treatment center, I started going to AA religiously. And AA did for, um, it helped me heal my soul. So 18 years ago is really when I started self-development.

So this is, I think, an important, uh, you know, sometimes it's interesting to hear people's story just to hear their story. And I think there is a lot of power power in that in and of itself. But I think where this is kind of for you where the story really begins, right? And that 18-year point again ago, because you'd had so much adversity and so many crazy things up to that. Um, but that all makes you who you are today, and it all makes you have the insight that you now have to work with others and to help them improve their lives. So can you maybe share now how after you kind of had that aha moment. You had hit what people often describe in the addiction world as rock bottom. And like you said, it could have been a million times for you, but it just happened to be this one moment. I think a lot of people hear rock bottom and they think about, you know, laying in the gutter or being in a car accident or something like that. But to me, it has always been sort of a mental shift, a mindset shift that all of a sudden, one day you wake up and you realize, or maybe it's not all of a sudden, obviously this was years in the making, but something changes like in your soul, in your heart or something. And at least that's how it has felt for me with these little moments in my past, not having dealt with addiction, but other mindset shifts for whether it's weight loss or whether it's changing your life or changing the way you eat. It can be a million smaller other things too. But I guess, so what happened in your heart or in your soul that made you want to work with others and how did this— you know, you developed a whole system, you've started, you know, working with people on improving their lives. How did that all progress out of this one moment for you?

Well, I followed the plan of AA, and I was doing the next right thing, doing the next right thing. I got married, I had two beautiful children who have never seen me altered, ever, and they never will. They've never heard me slur my voice. Or be anything less than who I am right now. I still carried that shame. I, I, I was doing the next right thing, but my life wasn't making sense. And 6 years ago was when the foundation once again crumbled beneath me, and that was the end of my marriage. I realized that my marriage, um, was toxic. And people get married and they either grow aligned together or they grow apart. And my ex-husband and I had grown apart, and I was not the mother that I knew I could be. I wasn't the person that I knew I could be. And so when— but when— but with divorce, it's hard, like, to leave a life that you've that I put 13 years in creating and making. And Brian wasn't abusive. He wasn't. There were definitely issues and there always is. And there was, you know, an issue that this was, this is it. This is no longer acceptable. I left. But when that foundation fell beneath my feet again, I sat and I knew where I was. I knew where I wanted to be, and I wanted to collapse the obstacles. I knew other people were happy, joyous, and free. That was the second time that I felt so alone, and yet I was sober. I was— I knew the life that I had created wasn't working, and so I dismantled what wasn't working and I rebuilt the rest. That's, that's when my healing really started. My healing from my childhood, my healing from from all of the dysfunction that I grew up with, my healing from the feelings of being a failure. When I was a Division I scholarship athlete, I was captain of Arizona State swim team. I was captain of my high school swim team. Like, there was nothing that I failed at, but that was a story that I created in my head. So through the work of other life coaches that I hired and then were certified under, I created my own toolbox and I didn't change the content of my story, but I changed the context of how I viewed myself. And I knew that if I, so 6 years ago, I had another moment of clarity where I sat in the car and I thought, if other people can be happy, joyous, and free, I can too. There's no reason why I can't. And all I have to do is model them and work for it and do what I have— what all of these high performers, all of these successful people model and do what they tell me to do. And so I started doing that. I started rewiring my brain. The negative internal dialogue was deafening. And our brains are wired to go negative, but we being humans can change that. And that's what I set out to do. And it worked so well that I knew I only wanted to bring health and wellness in my life and I wanted to share it with others. I wanted to share it with others because I know people that are in recovery carry this shame. And yet there's no reason. To carry it. I was— if, if I was still drinking and using, then I can be as sh— as ashamed as— because I'm doing shameful things. But the fact that I was brought down to my knees and I rose back up is tremendously powerful, and I want to share that with— and the fact that I chose to leave a life with two little babies and start all over again at 44 is tremendously powerful. And we can all do that if we get the support and the belief in ourselves. And that's what I rebuilt up. So much so that I, 6 years ago, said, how can I get there? Same conversation. Other people are happy, joyous, and free. I have to work for it. And when was I the strongest? I was the strongest when I was an athlete. When I was racing, when I was supported by a team, when I had a coach. So I went back to the basics, and that's what I did. I started racing again, um, I started swimming again. As a single mom, I'd get up at 4:30 every morning. I found somebody, an ex-swimmer, to come over and watch my babies while I drove downtown. I swam, I watched the sunrise, I felt empowered every day to start my day. And I'd come back, I'd wake them up, I'd get them off to school, and then I went to work on myself, um, rebuilding, rebuilding my body, mind, and soul. And, um, just with racing, I ended up— I, I work for a nutrition company. I partnered with a nutrition company because that's what started— I started fueling myself on a cellular level that gave me the energy to move my body, that gave me the clarity to change my Mindset, and they had an elite athletic division, and I had 3 years to, um, to qualify for the elite athletic division. Within 12 months, I had smashed all the qualifications. You had to be top 5 in your, um, in your race or your meet. I was top 3 in every single meet nationally, um, we won. I set a record in the medley relay. I was All-American for the second time. And then I went to Pan Am Masters, which is a world championship race. And I used one of the tools that I use in my coaching, which is manifestation. And I primed and I created a vision board 12 months before the race, put my time that I wanted to go, 27.6. I looked at it every single day. I visualized my race. And guess what happened?

27.6?

27.6! I went the exact time. I'm not kidding you. And I won. I set a world record. And I've used these tools over and over. Then I brought the tools into my business. I brought the tools into my— into every aspect of my life. And that's what I do is help other people. Through one-on-one coaching, through workshops and, um, retreats. I just had my first, uh, women's retreat in Riviera Maya in November. It was absolutely fabulous.

Oh my gosh, you're literally making me cry with this right now because I just— what a story. And the thing that comes to mind is, knowing just what little bit I know of you now, this story would not surprise me at all. But I guess what I'm, what I'm thinking, and probably what some other people could be thinking as well. It's like, okay, well, this is all great for you because you have these strong tools, like having— whether people believe it or not, being in athletics, and I can appreciate this, especially at the college level, you have like a special toolset, right? You have a special sort of inner strength that's been developed that maybe not everybody has or hasn't learned about themselves to be able to tap into it yet, something like that. Just curious, now that you have been with coaching people and working with people on this stuff, I can see how they'd say, well, yeah, of course you can do that because you had that. What would you say to somebody that thinks that they can't make that kind of change because they don't have that sort of inner strength to draw on? What, what would you say to that person? Or how do you help them overcome? Because that's kind of just a story too, really. But how do you help people overcome that part of it, like get their mind and get their head in the right space to make these changes and actually believe in themselves?

And that's what my tagline is, the power to believe. And we all have it. I lost it. I lost it 2 times. So the Power to Believe Toolbox, which I, that's what I do with my coaching, are all the tools that guess what? You have, I have, everybody has. It's just a different way of looking at it and using these tools day in and day out to achieve whatever goal you want. Because what I have learned is everything in life is a process. Everything, every single thing. You have to master the skill to get the result you want. And we are all capable of mastering any skill. Maybe our timetables are different, but we all have it within us. And to master the skill is conditioning. That's it. Repetition. That is it. Repetition. Just like if you want to— if I— that's what I had. That's what I had first. I knew if I want to— I know how to build my muscles, okay? I know how to train. I knew the conditioning that went into training. I didn't fall out of bed and be an elite athlete. I had to work for it. I had to establish the conditioning and master those skills. So it took a long time for me to get that switch that because— so everything I did, I equated back to swimming because I knew that in my life, for example, starting my business was foreign to me and training my mind was foreign to me. But our brain is nothing more than a muscle. So if we can train our thoughts, our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our character, and our character creates our destiny. It determines our destiny. Now let's take it— let's, let's go back to my first time that the ground crumbled beneath me and I was left in a world of pain and I didn't know what to do. And I grasped the first thing that made me feel good, and that was drugs and alcohol. What did that do? Those were my thoughts. Drink to cover, drink to feel good, drink to not feel anything. And those thoughts became my words, and then my words became my habits, and drinking became a habit to What did that do? That changed my character. And what did that do? That changed the trajectory of my life. I was up here and went straight down. Second time, putting healthy, sustainable tools into practice that we all have, it did the same thing. My thoughts changed. My words changed. My actions changed. I began to be kinder to myself, loving myself, and giving myself grace. And those became habits, and those habits became my character. And now my— the trajectory of my life, my destiny has changed. So whether it's small, a small change that you're having problems with, or a big change, we have to give ourselves grace, and we have to love ourselves and quiet the noise in our head and learn to listen to our soul. And listen to our gut because our gut is never wrong. Have you ever listened to your gut and you're like, yes, thank God I did that, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, have you ever listened to your gut and been wrong?

Not very. I don't— not that I can think of, so probably no.

Um, but I have heard my gut and not listened to it, and then I— and then I'm upset because then the next action is wrong, you know, in hindsight. So when we can quiet this noise and really connect with our soul and move forward, we start to gain strength and clarity and confidence in the women or the men we are so that we can achieve whatever goal it is that we set out to, to, that we want to achieve.

So you briefly mentioned that you just had your first retreat in Riviera Maya, which is in Mexico. For people that aren't familiar, it's a beautiful area. Are you planning any future retreats, or can you just talk a little bit about the types of things that people can work on there with you, or what they learn? What, what was your paradigm for this, um, retreat?

It was the Power to Believe Retreat, and we are doing it again in November.. And it was myself was mindset. Diane Fither, who is a strategic partner and one of my very best friends. She's— she owns a Pilates-based physical therapy. She was the wellness factor or the wellness portion. Terry McCabe, who's a master Pilates teacher. She was the movement piece. And then we had a nutritionist come in. And so it was a place where you could go to remove yourself from distractions and excuses. Because when we're in the environment, it's hard to make a change, a shift. You know, when we're, when we're in our day-to-day to-do, it's hard. It's harder, I should say. It's not impossible, but it's harder to make a shift. So our retreat, we created it for you to remove yourself from distraction and excuses, reset in paradise with mindset, wellness, fitness, and nutrition, and return with overall renewed energy so that you can crush all your goals and feel good. It was all about— there was no drama, no judgment, no BS, only good vibes.

I love it. I think we all need that.

Yes.

Thanks. So before we— so before I forget, since we just talked about this, can you say where everybody can find you? Are you on social media? What's your website? The retreat's in November, but tell us all the rest.

Oh, thank you so much. So I am on Facebook, Instagram. Well, all right. First off, my website is Sarah, S-A-R-A, no H. S-A-R-A, Sarah, at sarahgogginyoung.com. You can find me there, you can sign up for my newsletters, um, connect with me there, or connect with me, um, on Facebook. I'm Sarah Goggin. I got hacked, so I had to create a new— so everywhere else I'm Sarah Goggin Young on LinkedIn, Instagram. My Facebook business page is Sarah Goggin Young, and my personal profile is Sarah Goggin. And Twitter, I'm Sarah Gaganyan.

Okay, perfect. And this is all linked at your website and I'll— it'll be in the show notes, obviously, for anyone who didn't catch all that. Look at the show notes and you'll have all the links. But two final things before we have to say goodbye for today anyway. And the number one is, since this podcast is focused a lot on obviously health and wellness in general, but a personal passion of mine is around nutrition. And you mentioned that that was a big part of your retreat. And obviously being an athlete still at our advanced— I'm going to call us advanced age, which is ridiculous to me, but we kind of are. So as being women in our age range, what kinds of nutrition things do you work on personally? What have you discovered works best for you, particularly when you're training a lot like you are?

I fueling with So 8 years ago, I changed the way that I looked at food, and I think of it as fueling my body. So I have 2 nutrient-dense, rich with mineral, all the macro and mineral vitamins, nutrients that you need, that our bodies need on a cellular level. I do 2 shakes a day, 1 snack, and a fork and knife meal that is lean meat, you know, complex carbs and veggies. And I implemented intermittent fasting, which helps me, my body, be able to oscillate between burning carbohydrates for fuel and burning fat for fuel. And those two things have, I mean, skyrocketed my my life. 8 years ago, I, I used them. My body is now, at our advanced age, is better than it was when I was swimming at Arizona State. I have a six-pack now. I did not have a six-pack then. And I partnered with the nutrition company, so feel free to look at my website and reach out to me, and I'd love to help anybody get on that plan. Um, when When I use New Zealand whey, so whey that's from New Zealand cows, um, and that has done incredible things to my muscles and my skin. Um, the adaptogens that I implant— that I implemented are amazing to, to help me balance stress, to improve my focus, improve my mood, and improve my clarity. Um, and then taking care of— I, I know I've looked at your— I've listened to your podcast and looked at all of your amazing research, but our gut health is so important. Um, so using probiotics to take care of our gut health and natural energy.

Yeah, I mean, you're speaking my language. I love it all. And obviously the results— I mean, you're very glowy and very strong and setting world records still, again, our quote-unquote advanced age. I mean, it's just, it's all so amazing. Um, so to wrap it up and, and Thank you again for sharing all of your time and your wonderful knowledge. But I just want to give you the opportunity, if there are any final thoughts or final takeaways that you want people to sort of leave this conversation with, anything that we have not talked about already that you just want to hit on before we go.

I would love to. Thank you so much, Cheryl McColgan. You know, I grew up thinking that I am going to go I'll grow up and I'll have it all together and, and life's going to be easy. And it's not. Life isn't meant to be easy. Through the challenges is where we grow. And by quieting the noise in our head and connecting with our soul, knowing who we are and what we stand for allows us to walk through those challenges with strength and grace. And when you through those challenges, which, let's face it, some people have more than others. That's the way life is. Quit wishing it was something else. Quit saying, why me? Why me? Why not me? And handle those with strength and grace and walk through till you get to the other side. And when you get to the other side, it is so damn beautiful. And that's what life is all about. And if you're having trouble, you ask for help. I was brought down to my knees and I had to ask for help. I had to get a coach. I had to create a plan because I didn't have it within me to do it myself. And when I did that, my life took off.

Such a beautiful final thought to end on. Ask for help. Ask for help.

Don't whine.

You know, don't just be sorry about it. Reach out and do something about it, right? So Sarah, thank you so much again for coming on this show, and I would love to keep in touch and learn about all of the wonderful work that you're doing, as well as hear about any other little athletic endeavors. I just think that's so exciting. And I think it's so especially fun for us, uh, us older ladies. It just, it makes me inspired. It makes me still think, okay, maybe that six-pack is under there somewhere.

It is. All right.

Hey, Kara, thank you.

Thank you so much, Cheryl. I'm so honored to be here.