#120: How To Get Mark Wahlberg To Make You A Personal Video with Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelt. I'm ready for my close up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited you're back here with me today. Okay, so the last week has been beyond crazy. I have been under a book deadline for HarperCollins and you know when you have a bunch of things piling up on you and you snap? That's basically been the last week. My son has virtual final exams every single day. And being stuck in the house and working on the book, it's a lot of pressure and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a complete rookie at writing for a traditional publishing company. So they'll send me an email and it will say, hey, we need this back in seven days. Use this software program.

Hello.

I don't know what that is. I've never used it. So then I'll write back, can someone get on a zoom and teach me how to use this? I have no idea of what I'm doing. They forget that I've never done a book with a traditional publisher. They just assume I know and I don't know. And they'll say, use the sticker feature for edits. What does that mean? It gets very frustrating and overwhelming when you have. When you're 46 years old and have no idea what you're doing. Being a Rookie author for HarperCollins leadership has been wild to say the least. And then my agent emails me, hey, Heather, where are you at for the blurbs and reviews of your book? I don't know. No one told me anything about this. Should I do something? She writes back? Yes. Start reaching out to people asap. You need them by the end of the month. Okay, I didn't know that. So who would you like me to reach out to? It's just one thing after the next. And anyways, the last week I just, I somewhat snapped. I couldn't. I just couldn't take it. And between that and my son's school and finding out that it. His camp for the summer's canceled because of COVID and it was just, oh my gosh, I wasn't seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and I just felt like I was not succeeding at anything. It was a little bit frustrating. Okay, so here's a couple things I realized. One, your environment impacts you more than you might recognize or realize on a day to day basis. One of the problems with working from home has become I'm home so much that home symbolizes work to me. Now when I'm home, I'm just working. Where before I traveled for work, even just to record my podcast, I traveled to whatever city my guests lived in. So I was constantly gone. When I was home, it was about being home. It wasn't about work. The last year has completely flipped that. So now home is work. And I just started recognizing that whenever I'm here, I'm working, Whether it be writing, consulting, a company, giving a keynote, doing my podcast, I'm working. I'm constantly working and not taking a break. So the environment really started impacting me. Being in my apartment suddenly wasn't relaxing or wasn't like I was unwinding. It was the opposite. And then having my son in the next room, you know, doing his test and doing virtual school, it was really intense. So we decided for his birthday to go away for the weekend, which I was super excited about. He was bringing a friend of his. It was getting him back out around other kids outside. We're going to the beach. I was so excited and immediately went to my favorite place, which is the breakers in Palm Beach. I absolutely love it there. And so we've been going there his whole life. When we arrived, the place was packed, and it felt really exciting because no one had masks on. I'm vaccinated, so I felt totally safe. And I don't know where you. You stand on it. I feel like everyone should have their own beliefs and opinions and whatever works for you. Great for me. I was just excited to see people's face and feel like I was in some sense of normalcy. So it was my son, his friend, and myself. And my plan was to let the boys have a blast, do whatever they wanted, and I would finish my editing because I really was not achieving a lot back in my apartment. And I thought changing the environment up might put me in a different head space. I could feel more creative and be able to get some work done. Okay, you probably think I'm nuts, by the way, that I go to the breakers to work, But I did, and it worked. Okay, so we pull up, and the place is a mob scene. And I'm so excited. And I say to the boys while I'm checking in, guys, go put your name into the restaurant. There's a restaurant there that they don't take reservations, and you can just walk up, put your name in. And so they did, and they came back. We got checked into the room, and we Get a call. Your table's ready. Oh, great. So we go downstairs, we're all hungry, and we're walking into the restaurant, and who's walking out but Mark Wahlberg and some of his friends. And it was one of those moments where, you know, I hesitated for a minute to say, is that who I think it is? And he was looking right at us. And the boys, instantly, before I even noticed it, instantly knew it was him instantly were going crazy. They were so excited. But what was interesting is they didn't react and go chase him, right? And say, hey, Mark, you know, we're huge fans, or whatever. And they didn't. They hesitated. And I wondered if that's new because of COVID you know, if this awkwardness around going up to people is just something temporary right now. So we sit down to eat, and I say, guys, why didn't you go after him to get a picture with him or say hello, tell him what a fan you are? And they were all smiles. It was so cute. And they just said, I don't know. You know, Just didn't feel right. And again, I don't know if it's just the awkwardness of COVID or what. So I said, you know, I really think you have a missed opportunity here. The guy's obviously gonna be here for a couple of days. Cause it's a holiday weekend. So what I would do is get crystal clear on your intention to find him. And the next time you see him, run right up to him and ask him for a picture or whatever it is. It was my son's birthday that weekend. So I'm like, you know, don't hesitate. And this is just a reminder for you. If you want something, never hesitate. When that window of opportunity opens, jump on it. It was epic fail that they didn't go after him. So. And the guy was all smiles. He was super happy. And not in a situation where you thought, oh, this guy's trying to run out of here. Okay? So we go looking for him after dinner, the three of us. We can't find him anywhere on property. Obviously. He'd either left or gone back to his room, whatever. So the next day, my routine when I'm there is I go for a run. There's a really beautiful run. Oh, my gosh, it's so spectacular. I just. I could cry. It makes me so happy. And. And then I go to the gym. The gym there is gorgeous. It's huge. So you don't feel cramped by people. You feel safe. It just. It's wonderful. Gosh, that's like one of my favorite things to do there, especially after this crazy year.

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So I'm in the gym working out and then I go, you know, the kids are still sleeping and I of course shock her. And then I go to the beach and I sit under an umbrella. I ask for the quietest area possible and I sit under an umbrella and I just start editing. And when I tell that first day, I got a third of the editing done in my book. It was amazing. Second day, another third. So I had 2/3 of my book done just from sitting at the ocean for two. I mean I knocked out the work so fast. I was so happy. That change of environment and that piece of hearing the waves and sitting on the beach, it was unbelievable how much easier it was to work. So if you're struggling with getting some work down, think about the environment you're in and think about what could you move to? What environment could you change temporarily? It might put you in a totally different headspace. Certainly worked for me. Okay, so the second day I get up, I go for my run and I go to the gym and I'm working out and all of a sudden I see out of the corner of my eye mark Wahlberg standing 10ft away from me. He's working out with his trainer and unlike my child, I jump right up with my phone in hand and I'm looking a hot mess. Cause I had just gone for a run outside And I'm working out like a beast and I have no makeup on. But I didn't even think about that. I just walked right up to him and I said, I think I said, marky Mark from back in the day. I said, listen, I'm from Worcester. I hate to bother you while you're working out, but I've got to tell you, my son and his friends saw you and they're huge fans. And he said, why didn't they come after me? I said, I don't know. I guess they were intimidated that they didn't want to bother you. He said, it's no bother. He was so kind, so nice. He said, I have kids. I totally get it. No big deal.

He.

He said, well, why don't we call him? I said, well, he's sleeping. He's not gonna wake up. He said, then what are we gonna do? I said, I don't know. He said, give me your phone, I'll do a video for him. And he was just so sweet and so thoughtful and did a video for my son and asked him, why aren't you at the gym with your mother and listen to your mother? It was so cute, so, so nice. And I thanked him, you know, profusely. I was so grateful that he did that especially. Cause it was my son's birthday. But it just reminded me that, listen, here's the thing. When you get a shot at something, you've gotta just go for it. Seize that opportunity. Don't wait, don't hesitate.

And.

And luckily for me, and I think it was different than for the boys, I didn't feel that awkwardness of COVID Should I go up now? That doesn't mean. I had a meeting actually in person yesterday with some people I hadn't met before. And they went to shake my hands, and I didn't shake their hand. I thought, this is weird. I don't feel comfortable with that. So I do get the awkwardness. But when you really want something, get clear on it. And let nothing get in your way, especially not your mind or your hesitation. Just jump on it. Just go for it. Because you never know. You might not get that chance again. Hold tight. We're going to be right back. Meet a different guest each week. Okay. So I received a lot of questions in the past week or so from DMs on LinkedIn, on Instagram, and on my website. Heather monahan.com. here's one of them that came in. Hey, Heather. I just had a massive fallout with my boss. Basically, he told me if I Don't like it? Just leave. I want to, but I'm terrified. I have a mortgage on a single income as well as responsibilities. I don't know what to do. I've worked 70 plus hours a week at a job, let alone my own business for years. But I am having trouble with direction. After hearing you, I also realize I have a problem with confidence in myself. That's the core problem for sure. Any tips you have would be so appreciated. Thank you so much for your time. So here's the thing. You need to leave that job. If you have a toxic boss, someone who is not treating you well, you need to get out of there. Get clear on that you're leaving, right? Have that clarity and then start building the plan to get yourself out of there. Whatever that may look like. Maybe it's nights and weekends you're working on the side hustle. Maybe it's applying for other jobs, right? But start taking action. The actual practice of taking action and taking action steps towards a goal will build momentum for you. That will build confidence. Write down what your goal is. I am quitting this job. Give yourself a deadline in 30 days. Whatever it is, get clear on it and start holding yourself accountable to these goals. Taking action daily that will build confidence in you. Get a picture of a time in your life you were confident. Remember what that feels like. See that in your mind and know that you're creating it. Give yourself a 30 day plan. Practice gratitude each day. Write down the action steps that you're taking. Get clear that you're creating confidence. Go to my website heathermonahan.com and sign up for my free email Accountability Partner Program. You'll get an email from me every day giving you a reminder on what to do to create confidence within you and get clear on your goal. You're leaving that crappy job. You deserve better. So don't put up with what someone else is offering you or treating you when you know you deserve better. Get clear that you're leaving, that you're worth more and take the steps to get you out of there. Okay, that's my thoughts on that one.

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Okay, what do we got next? Here we go. Hey Heather, is there a blueprint that you use to prepare your outline for your TEDx talk? If you didn't find a blueprint. What structure did you use to create your outline? This is interesting and I'm bummed. Okay, next week I have Ron Friedman on the show. You have to listen to that episode. He actually does have a blueprint for TEDx Talk, so check that out. But I also remember Eric Mintz, who was the head of TEDx Boca Raton. He sent out to all of the speakers a video that TEDx put together. So you might wanna Google this TEDx talk outline. And it was a video that lives on TEDx that talks about the proper way to give a TEDx talk. And here's what I remember from it. They basically outline and evaluate the Martin Luther King speech. I have a dream. And it's all about going from possibility to what is possibility to what is this high, this low, high, low, high, low. And Rod Friedman and I actually get into this next week on my show. So definitely check that episode out. But it's about taking the audience from one place to the next, one place to the next, back and forth. Some people do it with humor, some people do it with personal story. There's a lot of different ways to do it. However, here's how I did mine. And this is how I do my talks in general. I open with a question, I open with a personal story. I want to pull people in. That is just my go to. That's how I always give my talks. Right. Think about what is your end goal in a TEDx talk. You want to share a big idea, communicate a unique idea. So somewhere in there, in the first minute or two, you want to identify and share with the audience what that big idea is you're sharing. Then you want to take them on that journey of from here to there, here to there, here to there. And then you want to have some big powerful clothes, right? So I brainstorm and I test and I try things because I speak for a living. So I'm constantly seeing what resonates with people. And I keep a file on my computer where I throw, oh, wow, that line did really well. Or people really love this. Never take direction from someone who hasn't been where you're going. And then I throw that in the file. So I have all of these quotes of myself that I know audiences connect with. And I would go through and see, knowing. My big theme was my TEDx talk was the MeToo movement, misstep or whatever. I forget what I called it, but basically my whole concept was we always target that men are the bad guys in the workforce. But it's actually, women are the biggest villains that attack other women. So stop just looking at men to be the ones to call out. We also need to call out women that truly don't support other women and try to hold them back. So I came up with my big idea. I wrote that down. I thought about what question can I ask? How can I pull the audience in? What story can I tell? And then how can I go back to this big idea and walk through what, you know, the teachings is or the messages that I'm trying to convey? That's how I did it. Definitely check out the Ron Friedman episode next week. He breaks it down in very specific, much more formulaic than what I'm doing right now. Okay, hope that helps. Oh, Heather. Hey. I didn't think you'd get back to me. Oh, someone emailed me at my website and I emailed them right back because they sent me the nicest. This woman sent me the most beautiful story about how my. I forget it was my book or if it was my TED Talk. I don't know. Something really impacted her. Here's what happened. So she sent me. She either read my book or I think she listened to Confidence Creator on audible and she said it changed her life and it made her realize that she needs to make a lot of changes in her. And she had been in a toxic work environment, too. That was something that she connected with me on. So she sends me this long letter and I wrote back to her, listen, you have a really powerful story. I'm grateful that I impacted you in a positive way, but now you need to pay it forward. You need to start telling your story. She had left the toxic work environment, but she didn't know what to do next. And so here she writes back to me. I figured my email would go into a sea of emails sent to an assistant and I would never hear back from you. Never thought of sharing my story. Thank you for the idea. My intent was just to let you know how impactful your story has been on me. Honestly, I wouldn't know the first way to go about doing so while I'm still working with my family. Not sure I'm ready to get out there full throttle in the world yet. I would welcome any guidance you have. I'm sure you must be busy. Please don't feel obligated to respond. So sweet. So, but here's the thing. Everyone has a story. And David Meltzer taught me this. The frequency that I run at and speak at is different than this woman. Right. She runs at a different frequency. She has a different story. It's imperative that we all share our stories so people don't feel alone. We're coming out of the freaking worst year ever, right? A global pandemic. I don't want people to feel alone. I want people to know that they're connected and there's like minded people out there cheering them on and that if they struggle, they're not alone in that. That, you know, everyone's had this struggle. So for this woman to feel so grateful that and impacted by my story that it helped change her life, she needs to pay it forward and make that, you know, that's her. Why is if one woman's story helped to change her life for the better, then her story can do the same for others. So I would say just start somewhere, do a post, right? Write down in your journal. Make the commitment that you're gonna start sharing your story. Share it with people in your lives, right? Just start taking action. So often people wanna have this big master plan and you know, here's what sharing my story looks like. That's not real. It's just about taking messy action. But taking action. Raise your hand and share it. Go on a podcast as a guest and share your story. Just go to your social media feed and post something and just share that. I wanna make sure people know they're not alone. I've been in a horrible work environment too, and I'm suddenly out of it. And I'm so grateful for that. If you're struggling with getting out of your terrible environment, this is the push you need. Go for it. Whatever that is, whatever that looks like to you. Be true to yourself, but also be true to your why. And if my story helped change your life, I'm challenging you to get out there and start changing others. I definitely didn't have some master plan. It's all unfolded one messy step after another and it will for you too. Okay, if you haven't yet, please rate and review the show. It helps so flippin much. I would appreciate it immensely if you will share it on social media. And whenever you do tag me. I will repost and reshare every one of your posts, as always, until next week. And make sure you tune in next week for that Ron Friedman episode. It's flipping unbelievable. Keep creating your confidence. You know, I'm your wingman, I'm doing the same. And yes, I am the girl chasing Mark Wahlberg down for my kid. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.