#144: How To STOP Anxiety In Its Tracks with Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me. We are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seat. I'm ready for my close up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me today.

Thank you.

Okay, so a lot of stuff is happening. Some good, some not so good. I'll start off with the not so good so that you know you're not alone if you've been having a tough time. So here's what happened based on my memory, which is of course memories are distorted at times, but we're only looking back two weeks, so I'm hoping that it's not that distorted yet. So a couple of weeks ago I had my board meeting for HealthLinked, our quarterly board meeting which went great. And on my way over they are on the other side of the state for me. So I have to take a road called Alligator Alley to get there, which I've driven millions of times to. Takes a couple hours to cross. When I was driving over to the board meeting, halfway through the ride the highway was shut down for a horrible accident which is, you know, scary and awful and sad and so I had to take the side road, whatever. Okay, make a long story longer. I'm, I go to the meetings, I'm coming back the next afternoon, I'm driving back and there was some kind of racing troop or I don't even know what you would say, but they were really beautiful high end cars and they were racing one another and There was probably 10 in a pack and there were six different packs that went by. So on the way back, a couple hours back, there was these crazy racing cars and they ended up, one of them got in an accident and half the front end was on the highway. And when I tell you my nerves were rattled, that's an understatement. So it was ended up being this really hard drive back home for me and I've never had that happen to me before. I'm always a super confident driver and nothing really rattles me. I mean, I feel bad if people are in accidents, but I don't obsess about it or think about it. Well, I couldn't stop thinking about these race cars and how dangerous it was and I felt like an old person and really started obsessing about it. And as I was driving back, I could feel myself getting so nervous and really getting anxiety. And again, that's never happened to me in my life before. So, you know, I Slowed down my breathing. I ended up getting off the highway and walking around for a minute. I got a water, right. I did all the things that I thought I should do to calm down. I got back in the car and it came right back again. Ends up being a really hard drive home. I get home, I'm fine. Okay, fast forward to the next day, thinking, this is just an isolated incident. Well, the point is this is that now for the past two weeks since that situation, I sporadically will be driving and get anxiety and feel really nervous out of nowhere. So I thought to myself, this has got to be more than just what's going on with this car situation that I saw, you know, these race cars and that I felt scared. So I got really still and started thinking, what's really bothering you? And I kept asking myself that question, what's really going on here? And it came to me, which was, I remember last year thinking, okay, Q3, Q4, 2021, my speaking business is going to be blowing up. It'll become 100% back in person, which I get paid a lot more for in person than I do virtual. And I enjoy being in person. I like people, I'm an extrovert. I don't like, you know, having to be home and isolated all the time. It's not my thing. However, you know, from my work, everything has been virtual for over, you know, a year and a half now. And I've had one in person speaking engagement. One since the pandemic has gone to phase two or whatever it is, I don't even know anymore. So I started thinking about this, you know, what's really bothering me and what's really bothering me is I had, I'd created a hope or an expectation that come Q3, Q4 of 2021, I would be back, you know, jumping on planes, healthy, flying around, doing live events and loving it. And I will say up until a couple weeks ago, it did seem that things were going that way. By that, I mean, it seemed like, you know, I was getting booked for a lot of in person events. I had a lot of stuff on my calendar now that had come to. It looked like, you know, contracts were coming over, everything was happening. And then two weeks ago really aligned with this whole situation that happened with driving. All of a sudden I started getting cancellations. And what's happened is with this wave of the delta, you know, whatever variant, people are getting really nervous for fall events again. And I'm not saying everyone, right there's. This is not about judging. I'm just Sharing where I'm at with my business and the stress that I'm going through right now. So a number of live events that I had were canceled for September, October, and November over the last three weeks. And I hadn't really been sitting down and thinking about it until I started asking myself the question, what's really wrong? And at the same time, this is so crazy. About two weeks ago, SoulCycle, which is where I work out, announced that our studio would be going to max 50% capacity. And here's why. You're probably thinking, why is that a big deal? Well, it just felt like one more sign that things aren't getting better, they're getting worse, right? Because when we first started spinning after the pandemic, we were on a rooftop, and it was beautiful, and we were socially distanced. Then they put us in a warehouse, and we were still socially distanced, but it was getting more normal. Then you could only go to spin if you wore a mask. Then they put us back in the studio at 50% capacity. Then it went to 100% capacity. Then it went to no masks, and now it's back to masks and 50% capacity. So I feel like, all right, wait a minute. Things are unwinding again. Things were progressively getting better and better, and I was so optimistic and excited. Now, again, I wasn't sitting around intentionally processing this stuff. This is only now that I'm reflecting, because I started getting such bad anxiety. I had to ask myself, what's going on? So I just consciously didn't even realize all of this stuff was happening. But as my workout situation started unraveling, as all my live events started canceling, as, you know, all of these things that I thought were gonna be so different for right now and seeing that things aren't turning out the way that I thought and things here, there is another variable, this variant that nobody expected. And for some people, maybe it's not impacting them, but for my business, you know, it happens to be. And it just felt. As I sat there asking myself, what's really wrong? I got it. It just felt like I was so hopeful. Things were getting better. They did start getting much better. And now here we are, they're not getting better anymore. And it just. That roller coaster feeling of just being completely out of control and not knowing how to project, anticipate, and manage, you know, business going forward felt really out of control is the only way I can articulate this. So as I sat there thinking to myself, okay, so. So I'm feeling like everything's out of Control. And then I saw this whole racing situation on the highway and then the car accident that really was jarring to me. And then I had such stressful ride home the rest of that ride home that it didn't just disappear overnight. Now here, gosh, I don't wanna screw with you and make you feel nervous driving. Please don't take this on. However, I thought to myself, okay, I know I've had anxiety or stress at different parts of my life, right? And I know that in moments it's fine, that's no big deal, it's totally normal. However, you don't want it to get a death grip on you and drive you crazy and consume you. So you need to take action steps to address it. And this really goes back to my new book, Overcome youe Villains. It's all about the three step process to overcome any adversity back beliefs, action, knowledge. So number one, I identified the belief, right? This belief that I can't drive, I'm too nervous to drive, everything's out of control. That's not true, right? That was a belief that was occurring in the moment because I saw that accident. Because those race cars and because a lot of things in my life seemed to be going the complete opposite of what I had projected, anticipated and planned on and really expected to happen. Which I should know better. Can't expect things to go one certain way. But when I really got to the core belief here, I realized none of this is true. It's just all in my mind and it's all about this fear of being out of control. So the more I could process that and look at it for what it was, it helped. And then I say to myself, okay, belief identified. I dismantled the belief, the false belief. I got to fact, which makes me feel a little bit better. Now, what action can I take? And for me I just think, okay, I need to drive, right? Hello, get in the car and drive. And I also googled and researched this. And apparently it's a thing that when people, people go through really stressful events or see a car accident, that this can trigger something within them. Clearly it did with me. And so I just thought to myself, it's like a little kid, if you fall off a bike and never get back on, you're never gonna ride a bike again. And that's not okay. So I need to step into fear. I know that's the answer and I need, and that will help me to minimize it, to see it was never real. However, I'm sure, as you know, when you get anxiety or really nervous. It's hard sometimes to calm your body. So I was working on breathing. I started pulling out my Headspace app again. If you guys don't have this, please download it. So good. I think there's a free version and a paid version, but it's super helpful in regards to daily meditation, which I am not great at. I'm definitely not great at that. So I'm having to immerse myself in all these things that I'm not the best at, which is funny. And so I started, you know, pulling out my meditation app again. Pulling out. I have hypnosis tracks that I was using back when I worked in corporate America with that villain. And I was super stressed out all the time. So I'm like, pulling all these things from out in my recycle bin that I used to use when I was back in corporate America, super stressed. And now I'm using them to help calm me down in this instance. And so I know it will get better, right? And I keep focusing on that. So these action steps that I'm taking are going to help. And I know over time it will improve. And. And then finally the three step process. Beliefs, action, and knowledge. And then what knowledge are you surrounding yourself with to help support yourself? And so I kept researching more and more about, you know, how to manage really high levels of stress. And, you know, it's just. It's not unique to me, that's for sure. And it's not unique to this pandemic either. And then the other point is that we've all been living through a pandemic for a year and a half, and there is level of, you know, everyone can handle stress, but then when it goes on for really prolonged periods of time, you feel a little worn down or you're a little bit more vulnerable or susceptible to stressing yourself out too much because it's just been going on for a while. And I think all these things contributed. And I'll tell you that it's funny. Yesterday I had a great day, and driving was not a problem at all. And everything was good. And I felt like, oh, thank gosh, this is amazing. And then I woke up this morning just feeling a lot of stress. And I thought, wow, it's so interesting how from day to day, things can change so drastically again. I know this isn't permanent. I know it's temporary. I know if I keep doing the next right thing, it's gonna pass, it's gonna get better. If I ask for help when I need it, right? All the all these tools that we know we have, but it's just, it's so. It's so interesting to me at 47 years old to realize how things we take for granted, like driving or just not feeling stressed out, can suddenly change based upon things that are happening around us that we have no control over. So that reminded me, focus on the things you can control. Focus on gratitude. Focus on the positives. Focus on working out. Focus on deep breathing. Focus on knowing that other times in your life you went through really hard moments. They might not have been just like this one, but. But you survived it, right? It was temporary. This too shall pass. I know in my heart of hearts all of that is true. However, it is different, right? When you're like knee deep in it and it's just, okay, Focus on, you know, taking it inch by inch. Life's a cinch. That's what I was saying to myself the other day. I was saying that, and you are safe. Everything is good. Really trying to just really remind myself these basic truths that I know in theory, but for whatever reason, when I was getting stressed out, I was forgetting about them. I hope you can relate to that. So then I, as I mentioned, I had a ton of on site live speaking engagements cancel. And it happened really quickly. And I was so optimistic cause I was getting so many booked. And then I have my. This is my second in person speaking engagement. It's happening this week. Super excited for it. But I did just get a call from the woman who's in charge and she told me, she said, heather, I just wanted to let you know we're changing the venue because of COVID So many people are scared to be in person and they want to zoom in instead. She said, but I'm hoping you'll still be able to come. And we'll max the room out to 50 people. We'll have everyone socially distance. And I said, yeah, no, of course I'll be there. And looking forward to it. But it was kind of. It was sort of a bummer, right, to hear that. I was so excited, you know, maybe this would be a little bit larger, like more back to what I remember, you know, in 2019. And no, it was. It was unwinding. But still, it'll be a positive because I do get to be in person. And I am super excited about that because it's been a while. It's that time of year again.

Everyone knows that the holidays can become overwhelming quickly. So the sooner that you get things done, the better for both shoppers and businesses. The Best time to score great deals during the holidays is Black Friday Cyber Monday Weekend Whether you're an established business or someone who is going to experience their first Black Friday Cyber Monday this year, you know that the most important thing you need is a platform that can handle everything that's about to be thrown at you. You don't want to find out that your inventory is off as orders keep coming in, or that your point of sale system cannot keep up with the requests, many from new customers who are buying your products for the first time. You need to make sure that your tools and platform are ready for anything that comes your way during the busiest.

Weekend of the year.

And that's why you need Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of e commerce in the US from household names to entrepreneurs who will be participating in their first Black Friday Cyber Monday this year, including your girl right here. With creating confidence in everything that we put through Shopify, the one platform that manages it all, you don't have time to spend hours pouring over every little detail. Me neither. Shopify has thousands of templates and tools to help streamline website creation, making sure that your site isn't just aesthetically pleasing but functional at the same time. Accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product description pages, headlines and even enhance your product photography to help increase your reach during the busiest time of year. You can also stress less knowing that Shopify's award winning customer support teams on standby 247 to help with any issues that arise, allowing you to get back to business as fast as as possible this Black Friday. Join the thousands of new entrepreneurs hearing for the first time with Shopify. Sign up for your free trial today@shopify.com monahan that's shopify.commonahan go to shopify.commonahan and make this black Friday one to remember if you're like me, you're always looking for ways to feel stronger in your workouts, recover faster from working out, have more energy during your day and preserve your health, mobility and strength as we get older. And Mitopure Timeline is giving me that life and it's happening right now and I want it to happen for you too. This supplement really can help you because it supports your health at the foundation by encouraging cellular renewal. Mitopure is a precise dose of the rare postbiotic Urolithin A. It works by promoting an essential cellular cleanup process that clears out dysfunctional mitochondria, AKA your cell's battery packs might appear is the only Urolithin a supplement on the market clinically proven to target the effects of age related cellular decline. Hello. With regular use you are going to see and feel the difference in the form of improved energy levels, better workouts, faster recovery, more endurance, all of which are helping you achieve your New Year's goals and making you feel your best. P.S. myoPure is shown to deliver double digit increases in muscle strength endurance without a change in exercise. For the win. Cellular health is a foundation of well being and longevity. Mitopure recharges your cells supporting any goals by helping all of your system work better. I'm excited to share that you can now get 20% off your first timeline purchase. There's never been a better time to experience the benefits of Mitopure. Use my code Confidence at checkout. To receive 20% off today, go to timeline.com confidence that's T-I M E L I N E.com confidence as the air turns crisp and the holidays draw near, comfort becomes the best gift of all. Quince delivers layers that last. Sweaters, outerwear and everyday essentials that feel luxurious, look timeless and make holiday dressing and gifting effortless. Quince has it all. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters made for everyday wear, denim that never goes out of style, silk tops, skirts that add polish and outerwear built to take on the season. Perfect for gifting or upgrading your own wardrobe. Honestly, Quint's Italian wool coats are at the top of my list. The cuts feel designer and the quality rivals high end brands, but without the high end markup. By working directly with ethical top tier factories, Quint skips the middleman and offers prices 50% less than similar brands. I mean if you want to look like you are wearing the highest end clothing out there without those huge price tags, Quince is the answer. Literally there's something for every single person on your list. The Mongolian cashmere sweater is the softest sweater I have and it is my go to every day. If you want to elevate your look without paying more quints is the answer. Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last from quints perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to quince.com confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com confidence to get free shipping and 365 day returns.

Quince.com confidence my last in person speaking engagement was a few months ago so I am excited. It's going to be a challenge because now I've become so conditioned to doing everything on Zoom, which is so, so crazy. But like anything when you haven't done it for a while, you feel like you're starting over, but you're starting over with experience and it will get better and there will be some nerves, but I'll choose to see them as excitement, not nerves. And I am excited for it. So, hoping that things are going well for you this week. I also wanted to share. This was sort of interesting. As you know, my first book, Confidence Creator, I did the audio version. Of course I did the audio version. It was my book. Why wouldn't I, right? Well, back then I didn't have a podcast. Back then I wasn't on air all the time the way I have been now for the last two years. So what was funny is when I signed with Harper Cohen's leadership, I assumed I would be the voice of the book Overcome youe Villains. Well, come to find out you have to audition that not every author gets to be the voice. So I called my friend Kendra hall, cause she's been where I want to go. She is an author for HarperCollins leadership and she, she did the audio version and I said, what advice can you give me? They want me to audition. I don't know what to do. And she said, just be yourself and don't go too fast. Super simple. And so I took her advice. I sent it in, I got it. Well, this is crazy. So my first book, Confidence Creator, when I was working with a company called Scribe to help me self publish and they sent me to this one recording location. I mentioned this a couple weeks ago and I felt very uncomfortable there. I didn't like it and I ended up walking out, which I. So I'm so glad I did that. Right. Because if you don't feel safe, you don't feel comfortable, you're not going to be your most creative best self ever. Just that's the way it is. So always remove yourself. Trust your instinct. Listen to yourself. Right? This is not for me. I'm out of here. So I left. Fast forward to HarperCollins leadership sends me a note. Okay, Heather, you've got the green light to do the audio version. We're super excited. Here's the location we want you to go. What dates work for you. And I notice it's that place I walked out of that I didn't like. But I thought, okay, be open minded. This is a couple years have gone by. It could be New people. It could be everything. The vibe could be different. I'm different, right?

Who knows?

I'm going to try to be open minded and positive and not put too much concern to it right now. Well, what ends up happening is they call to schedule me and the place remembered me and remembered I walked out. So I get a call from HarperCollin's leadership. Oh, Heather, apparently you didn't like the recording studio or the people or whatever. And you know, we're a little concerned. And I was concerned because I didn't want to upset at, you know, new to Harper Khan's leadership. I didn't want to upset them, but it was true, right? I didn't like it and I didn't feel good there. Thankfully. They said, is there somebody else you would like us to consider to record your book and who did your first one? And that's when, oh my gosh, all the lights went on in my head. I was so excited because my first book, what I ended up doing was I worked in the radio business for over 20 years. And in Miami, I have a bunch of radio stations here that I ran for 14 years, right? So I know all these people really well. I called one of my old stations, I said, hey, is there any chance I could record my audiobook with you guys whenever it works for your schedule? You know, it would mean the world to me. They set it up. One of my really talented producers actually did it for me every day after work for a week until we got it done. I felt super comfortable, super happy. It was great, right? And back then I had never. I wasn't doing a podcast, right? I didn't, I didn't have any experience in this. So it was so wonderful to have someone I trusted with me, someone who I knew had my best interest at heart. And it really helped. So I told HarperCollins leadership I'd love it if I could do the recording with my old producer, Scotty. He did my first one here. He's incredibly talented and I promise this will be off the charts. Good. And they said yes. So this past week, I have been recording in studio with Scotty every day, and it's been great. And it's one of those funny things where the first time I did it, I was still a little nervous, right? I didn't know how I would sound or how it would come out. But this time I'm going in. I've already done an Audible book before. Confidence creator. I've had a podcast now for two years, so that's a lot of being behind the mic, being on your toes, coming up with things on your own. Right. Not scripted, which I think is super helpful. And then Harper Kahn's leadership said to me, heather, we're going to give you creative flexibility with the audiobook. And I said, so you're basically telling me I can do what I want? And they said, well, basically, as long as we get it back and it sounds good. Yeah. So what I did, I'm super excited for you to hear this. And I told Scotty about it. You know, HarperCollins leadership sent him what they wanted me to read. But then I told him, listen, I listened to the David Goggins book, and one of the cool things he did. I don't think he did the audible version of the book, but at the end of every chapter, he'd do a like, cut to behind the Scenes. Here's what's happening right now. Because I actually wrote this book now. It's over a year ago, right, That I really wrote it, probably even so, some of this stuff, there's more information that's been updated since then. So I thought it would be cool to add that in. So I told Scotty, I said, listen, I'll read each chapter. Give me a moment to take a breath, and then I'm gonna go behind the scenes and let the reader know what's happening now. So I did the first chapter. I cut to behind the Scenes, and I talked about my opinion on what I had written and what had changed and what was happening. And I stopped and I said, okay, that's chapter one. And the behind the scenes were good. And Scotty said to me, wait a minute. Where do you have this stuff written down for behind the Scenes? I said, oh, I didn't write anything down. I just thought it would be cool to read the chapter. Cause I haven't read the book now in a couple of months. Read the chapter and then just speak to whatever comes to my heart and mind, right? Talk about, oh, this is what stuck out to me. Or, gosh, it's so funny that this was a year ago, because here's what's happened since then. I said, I just figured it would be better if I did it on the fly as just the real me versus scripting something out. And he loved it, and I loved it. And it was so funny also, because I had this big idea in my mind that there was one chapter I was really gonna struggle with reading, and I decided that was gonna be awful and I was not gonna be able to do it. However, it did not go that way I was able to get through that chapter that I was afraid I wasn't gonna be able to read. But at the end of the book, the last chapters where I had a breakdown, I was bawling and I didn't realize that I was gonna respond that way. It was so incredibly emotional for me to read that chapter and it just wow. I wasn't prepared for it. So it was kind of interesting that in your mind you plan for these things like you think you know what's gonna happen and so often it is never the way that you foresee. Some of it was much easier than I thought, and then that one chapter was much harder than I thought about. And maybe it's because I was intentionally not trying to think about that.

So when you want more Start your business with a Northwest Registered Agent and.

Get access to thousands of free guides.

Tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business all in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years. They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you in your business every step of the way. Build your business identity fast with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free resources, forms and step by step guides without even creating an account. Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer, drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale, and more. All at no cost. Northwest is your one stop business resource. Learn how to build a professional website, what annual filings your business needs to stay in good standing and simple explanations of complicated business laws don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com confidence free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent@www.northwestregisteredagent.com confidence free.

Kind of crazy, but here's the big takeaway that I wanted to share with you, which is I wasn't a rookie going into this one. My first audiobook. I had never done audio before, right? So that was big to take that on and I'm so glad I did it because it set me up to be that much better this time. And then in the interim, doing two years of a podcast and being able to ad lib on my feet in the moment helped set me up to do a better job on the behind the scenes. So all of these different things, all the work that you're putting in, all the grind, everything that you're working towards every day, you can't always forecast where you're going, but when you get there, you can look back, connect the dots and see how it all made such sense and propped you up to be that best version of yourself in that next moment. So I'm super grateful. I'm grateful that you're listening to this today. I can't wait for you to hear the new audio version of my book. It is going to be the best. And then, oh my gosh, one other great thing I forgot to mention to you. My podcast is powered by acast and my team at Acast and I had a call about a week ago and they were telling me that Amazon was looking to make some selections and highlight some podcast hosts that happened to have new books coming out at the end of 2021. So luckily we were able to talk about my book and share, you know, what was happening with the book and they were able to pitch me. Now I have no idea if I'll get it, but these are those strange moments that you never know what opportunity could come tomorrow or what could happen today that you weren't expecting expecting. Because something like this could literally change the trajectory of your business, of your podcast, of your book or whatever it is you're working on. These small things that are out there that oftentimes we don't even know about. So we don't even get to submit for in this situation. I was submitted. I don't know if I'll get it. I'm sure thousands of people submitted, right? But it would be game changing, game making to get something like this. So keep your fingers crossed and, and if you could please rate and review the show, it would mean the world to me. I don't know if you've signed up yet, but when you pre order Overcome your Villains at overcome your villains.com you can join up for my VIP launch team there. I have live Zoom trainings, live Q and A every other week. We're doing. These are amazing. And also you get my free $500 bonus bundle which includes my $299 Confidence Creator video course, my 30 day email program, my Overcome youe Villains workbook, my oh, you get the first chapter of the book for free. So you get all this stuff for free. However, it will not be this way. You know, moving forward I will be pulling the free bonus bundle because we're trying to drive our pre sales so if you could pre order and I would suggest the Audible version for sure if you can. If you like audiobooks, you'll definitely like this one. Check it out. When you pre order, you get the $500 bonus bundle. And when you join the VIP launch team, you get an invite to all of my live Zoom meetings and Zoom trainings. And I would love to see you there. So until next week, keep creating confidence. And you know I'll be working that grind with you. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.