#161: How To Turn Obstacles Into Opportunities! With Tanya Dalton CEO & Founder Of inkWELL Press
4 Nov 2025 · 39 min
Podcast episode featuring Heather Monahan interviewing Tanya Dalton (bestselling author and productivity expert) about productivity for women, living with intention, building systems for business and family balance, turning obstacles into opportunities, and practical strategies like habit stacking. The episode promotes Dalton's book On Purpose (released Oct 12, 2021) and includes personal stories, actionable exercises (reflection, projection, action, alteration), and examples (e.g., 'Frankenstein' warehouse product recovery).
Chapters
When is the last time that you went to bed and thought, good work today. You're amazing? Because far too many women are not saying that to themselves at all. I want women to feel more accomplished. I want them to feel more energized for life as a whole. Because we live so much of life on repeat, doing things that we think we're supposed to be doing, that we miss finding the happiness and the joy that's right there in our everyday moments. When we slow down, when we live life with intention, when we create time so it works for for us, not against us, that's really when we have that feeling of satisfaction. That's when we have that happiness that we're all chasing after.
I'm on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seat. I'm ready for my close up. Welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet my guest this week. Today we've got Tonya Dalton. She's a bestselling author, speaker, speaker, and nationally recognized productivity expert. Tanya serves as a growth strategist for leaders. Her highly anticipated second book, on Purpose, the Busy Woman's Guide to Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success, will be on sale October 12, 2021. In addition to having her first book, the Joy of Missing out, being named one of the top 10 business books of the year by Fortune magazine, Tanya's podcast, the Intentional Advantage, has received millions of downloads. She's also featured as an expert on several networks including NBC, Fox, VIP contributor for entrepreneur.com. she's been featured in the world's leading publications including Fast Company, Real simple, and Forbes. She's been awarded the Elite Enterprising Women Award and has been named the female entrepreneur to watch for the state of North Carolina. She's also the CEO of Inkwell Press productivity company, a multimillion dollar company providing tools that work as a catalyst in helping women to do less and achieve maximum success. Holy cow. Tanya, how do you have time to be here today? Thank you for being here.
I am so excited to be here. We're going to have a lot of fun today.
Okay, first, what is a productivity expert? Because I don't know. I clearly am not one. But I'm interested to learn from you.
Well, it's interesting because honestly, most productivity experts are men and I am one of the few female productivity experts which really most traditional productivity experts would say that they teach you how to manage your time or they give you Best tips for how to be effective or how to be efficient. And I like to say that I'm redefining productivity for women in that productivity is not about doing more, it's doing what's most important. I like to say that I use productivity as kind of the shiny object to get them in the door and then people come in and I'm like, it's really about being intentional. It's really about being mindful of what we're doing, really focusing in on what matters most. So that's what I do. I teach people how to use their time in ways that really benefit them, how to really focus their energy and how to really live their lives so that they're doing the things that matter most to them.
Okay, well, this all sounds very good. And I'm also so impressed with how living a purpose driven life is very important to you. That's obvious in your work and your writings. However, your business success is nothing to shake a stick at. The fact that you were able to create a multimillion dollar company with three employees in 18. I mean, what are some of the strategies that you deployed to achieve that level of success while still having a personal life?
Yeah, well, that's the big thing is, you know, it's not just about growing the business. It's also about still having a thriving personal life. Right. We don't go into business for ourselves so we can work 80, 100 hours a week. We do it so we can have the freedom lifestyle, freedom time, freedom, financial freedom. So really for me, it really is a lot about the system score. Creating systems so that the business works for you instead of you feeling like you're constantly working for the business. So really making sure that we have things in place so that things run really smoothly. When I was starting off my business and we only had the three employees being me, my husband John, who technically works for me, he's my cmo, and then one other part time employee. It really was important that I didn't feel like I was doing all the things. And I think that's one of the big things that we, especially as women, feel like we're supposed to do. We all the things. So really making sure that I'm giving my time to the different areas of my business that really make the biggest impact. So like on Mondays was my marketing day, marketing Mondays, and I would focus in on marketing. I didn't worry about everything else, operations and finance and product development. I worried about marketing on Tuesdays. That was my day to worry about product development and innovations. And things like that. Wednesday was a warehouse day where we worked on inventory and stuff like that. So really allowing myself to focus in and narrow in instead of trying to do all the things at all the same time, that made the biggest difference in growing my business that quickly.
Okay, well, I'm going to clearly have to do that because I try to do all the things. And it's funny, to your point, Tanya, I was in corporate America for the majority of my life and that, you know, the systems were already in place. Right. Because companies have been around for 50 plus years and you're just coming in and leading the company. So those structures are already created far before you get there. You can optimize them, improve them and innovate around it. But I, I never stopped to think right from ground zero, what is that right? System and structure. So going to work for myself. I always thought the deal was, yeah, you have to work 80 to 100 hours a week for your first few years if you want to make it.
That's.
Somebody served me that story and I was buying it.
Yeah, well, I think a lot of people buy that story, that in order to succeed you have to work hard or you have to work yourself to death, and you really don't. And it goes back to that whole idea of doing what matters most. And that means in your business, really figuring out what are the key tasks, what are the things that really make the biggest impact. We could apply Pareto principle, which is a principle that's been around for, it's been around since the 1700s, but really it's that the vital few make the biggest impact. So figuring out what are the tasks, what are the activities that really make the biggest impact in your business and focusing more of your time on those things. Same thing with our customers and our clients. Focusing in on those smaller amounts, like the bigger clients that are really generating the revenue. You generally like the top 10 to 20% and not spreading ourselves too thin. Same thing with our products and our offerings. Are we offering a thousand different things because we're trying to be everything to everyone else, or are we really niching in and really servicing a key customer with products that really are going to make an impact that allows us to have that thriving personal life while still making massive amounts of money in the office?
How do you do that? How do you figure out which are the right products or services to move forward with and when?
Yeah, well, that's a good question. And this comes down to that whole idea of really you as the leader of your company, being the Visionary, which means you got to step back from time to time. You got to get the bird's eye view. I call it the forest view, because a lot of times we're so deep in the forest, we can't see it because of the trees. Right. So stepping back and taking a good look, for example, with my products, what I would do is I would list out all my products on Post it notes, whether you have products or offerings or whatever it is that you have, listing them out on a Post it note and going through and really looking which of my products are my best sellers, which ones are giving me the biggest revenue? Okay, what are the ones that are not, which ones am I spending time on that are generating almost nothing? You'll be shocked when you do that. And then you start getting rid of post it notes, getting rid of, you know, those things on your, on your list that aren't really making that impact. And that's how you really start to dive in and dial in.
What about when you are faced with some of these challenging times like we're in now, right, where things, because of outside circumstances, things are changing your business? For example, live events was my main revenue stream. And that's just, you know, that's not nonexistent these days. So how do you allow yourself to pivot quickly to adjust to those challenges?
Well, I think that's why it's so important to first of all understand your North Star. What I call your North Star, your mission, your vision, your core values. Where is it you want to go? Why is it you do what you do and how is it you want to get there? And this ties in with that whole idea of living on purpose, right? Living bigger than today. Where is it you want to go? What is the impact you want to make in your world, not just for yourself, but also for your family and for your clients and your customers. And then using that as your guide to help you understand what you want, right? And then building in a little bit of grace and a little bit of flexibility. What happens is we have these ideas that we need to create plans that are really, really stringent. First I'm going to do this, then I'm going to do that, then this is going to happen. And we have this really like, very detailed map created for ourselves. And when we veer off course because, well, life happens, or maybe a pandemic happens, happens or something like that, we feel like we failed or we've done wrong. And really getting off that path, getting onto that detour, oftentimes brings us to where we're really meant to be. So building in some of that grace into our planning and not having a detailed step by step by itty bitty step of exactly what things need to look like. A lot of times we look around at what everybody else has done and we think our path to success needs to look exactly like theirs. When your path to success needs to look exactly like yours and it's going to be unique and different from anybody else's.
Oh, I so agree with you. And you just reminded me of a part in the book on purpose where you talk about and you use an image which just popped into my mind of the grace we give others compared to the grace we give ourselves. And it's so much less what we give to ourselves.
It is. It's so much less. We're so willing to. We look at people who put their necks out there and they fail or they tried to do something and we're like, wow, they're so amazing. Look how resilient they are. Look how strong they are. And those very same things, if they happen to us, we look at ourselves and go, oh, I'm the worst, right? We give this grace to everybody else that they're just out there trying, but we forget to give that to ourselves. And it's time to really take a look at ourselves with that same kind of viewpoint of when we put our necks out there, when we try something new and it doesn't quite work out. We haven't really failed because we've added to our little backpack of knowledge. I like to say, especially as a business owner, we're constantly, like, adding to our backpack. You know, this, did this, it worked. Added to the backpack, did this, didn't work. Okay, added some of that to my backpack. And we start accumulating a lot of knowledge and a lot of skills, not just from the successes, but oftentimes from those failures. That's really where our best learning happens. And then that means that the next time we go out there, the next time that we take a step towards our purpose, we put our necks out there a little bit. We. We have a little bit of a risk. We have a whole foundation underneath us of experience, of knowledge that's going to help us even more. It's going to build momentum.
When you want more, start your business with a Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business all in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest. Today, Northwest registered agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years. They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you in your business every step of the way. Build your business identity fast with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free resources, forms and step by step guides without even creating an account. Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer, drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale and more. All at no cost. Northwest is your one stop business resource. Learn how to build a professional website, what annual filings your business needs to stay in good standing and simple explanations of complicated business laws don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com confidence free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent@www.north registered agent.com confidence free. It's that time of year again. Everyone knows that the holidays can become overwhelming quickly, so the sooner that you get things done, the better. For both shoppers and businesses, the best time to score great deals during the holidays is Black Friday Cyber Monday Weekend. Whether you're an established business or someone who is going to experience their first Black Friday Cyber Monday this year, you know that the most important thing you need is a platform that can handle everything that's about to be thrown at you. You don't want to find out that your inventory's off as orders keep coming in, or that your point of sale system cannot keep up with the requests, many from new customers who are buying your products for the first time. You need to make sure that your tools and platform are ready for anything that comes your way during the busiest weekend of the year. And that's why you need Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names to entrepreneurs who will be particip participating in their first Black Friday Cyber Monday this year, including your girl right here. With creating confidence in everything that we put through Shopify, the one platform that manages it all, you don't have time to spend hours pouring over every little detail. Me neither. Shopify has thousands of templates and tools to help streamline website creation, making sure that your site isn't just aesthetically pleasing, but functional at the same time. Accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product description pages, headlines, and even enhance your product photography to help increase your reach during the busiest time of year. You can also stress less knowing that Shopify's award winning customer support teams on standby 247 to help with any issues that arise, allowing you to get back to business as fast as possible. This Black Friday join the thousands of new entrepreneurs hearing for the first time with Shopify. So sign up for your free trial today@shopify.com monahan that's shopify.commonahan go to shopify.commonahan and make this Black Friday one to remember.
This whole idea of on purpose is so interesting to me. I had a phone call from a friend of mine that I was in the media business with for 20 years and she's still in the media business now. She calls me this morning to say, I think I'm at a point in my life when I want to start living more intentionally. And she said, I'm setting a goal for myself. I said, she said, I want to do some like, more meaningful work. I want to leave legacy. I want more than just a paycheck. Right. Which I know is so much about what you talk about. And she said, and I'm going to give myself a goal. And I said, what's that goal? And she said, I'm going to do it in 2022. Tanya I was so disappointed because this person's always had these ideas of wanting more in the back of her head, but for some reason she's stuck. What do you say to those people that they know they want to live on purpose, they know they want more, but they can't bridge that gap. Yeah.
I think being stuck is one of those things that we like to blame the universe for. Right? Like, oh, I can't move forward because I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. Honestly, the opposite of stuck is not unstuck. There's not this magic moment where all of a sudden we're unstuck. The opposite of stuck is action, taking action. Itty bitty action, tiny action, little action, small action. Just taking action is what helps you start to get unstuck. Because once you make that first little step, it's easier to make the second step and then the third step and the fourth step and then we have that momentum and then we're able to really move forward. So when someone tells me that they feel stuck, I'm like, okay, let's take a step back again. It's really about zooming out and looking at that forest view. Where are you right now with your life? What do you think is holding you back. And then how can we look at that from all the different angles to figure out a way around it? Anytime we get to an obstacle, we have a choice, right? And when I picture an obstacle in my mind, I picture it as this, like, wall right in front of me. So when I hit a wall and we all hit walls, I don't care how successful you are, how successful you've been in the past, we all hit obstacles from time to time. My choices at that point, when I hit an obstacle are I can go around the wall, I can climb over the wall, I can tunnel underneath it, or I can pour some gasoline on that wall and light it on fire and burn it down to the ground, and it's ultimately up to me. But a lot of times we see that wall and we think there are no choices. And right there, I just talked about what, four or five choices we get. So really understanding that anytime we have an obstacle, it's an opportunity. How can we shift this and start looking at it from different angles and figure out one small thing we can do to move forward?
Oh, that reminds me of the Obstacle is the Way Ryan Holiday, which I completely love and couldn't agree with you more, focus on the solution. There's always a way around it, over it, or underneath it. So very well said. Thank you for. One of the things that you did in this book that I am a big fan of is separating the book into four different sections around reflection, projection, action and alteration, which I was hoping you could give us at a high level just some insight into why you did that and how it works.
Yeah, well, to me, those four steps, those four actions really are the basis for any goal, any dream, any big aspiration. So we start with that first step of reflection. You have to look backwards in order to move forwards, because, honestly, sometimes you have to see the breadcrumbs of where you've been to understand how far you can go. And I think reflection is so important because it answers that question of why. Why do I want what I do? Why do I think I want more? Why is it I am built the way I am? And I think when it comes to reflection, it's really easy to look at all the shiny trophies, all the things that we did well, all the things that we're like, we're really proud of. Honestly, it's the things we don't like. It's the areas of trauma and failure and frustration, Those are even more important to look at when we think about reflection, because when we know what we don't want. It's so much easier to push against that into what we actually do want. I like to tell people that failure is probably one of the most fertile grounds that we can grow from. So we start there with reflection, really understanding who we are and why we want what we do. And once we understand that, we move into that next section, which is projection. And projection answers what? Reflection answers why. Projection answers what? Okay, what is it I want to do? Right? Like, okay, now I know why I do the things that I do. What is it exactly that I want? And a lot of times, again, we look left and we look right, and we crane our necks over the fence trying to figure out what everybody else is doing, and we think that's what we should be doing. Well, now that you know why you are the way you are, let's figure out what it is that really fits what you want, what's unique to you. And so we project forward into the future and figure out what it is that might possibly look like. And then we get to the third section. We have reflection, then we have projection, and then we have action. And action answers the question, how? Okay, now I know why I am the way I am. I know what it is I want. How in the world do I get there? How do I create a little map for myself so I can move forward? So that's where we talk about creating an action roadmap, really understanding how we can build in our goals so they actually work for us. And then that last section is alteration. Alteration answers the question, what if. What if life happens? What if I veer off track? What if I have to take a detour? Because you are going to from time to time, as we mentioned, every one of us faces obstacles and detours. That is not unique to any of us. So we need to be prepared for that. And we can't plan ahead for what every obstacle is going to look like, but we can prepare for how we're going to react to them and how we can take action once those obstacles appear. So we reflection, we do projection, then action and alteration is woven in throughout all of those steps.
Oh, my gosh. That's so good and so powerful. You mentioned when you were describing the four sections, that when we reflect back, sometimes we'll see behaviors or patterns that we don't like that maybe didn't serve us well. How do you recommend we remove ourselves from repeating those patterns?
I love that question, because, to be honest with you, I think reflection is one of the most important things we can do, especially if you own a business I build reflection in, so I'm doing it at least every quarter, if not more often. Like a deep day of reflection to see where I've been. What we want to do is we want to look back at where we've been, and we want to look back without judgment. So I can share with you an example of how I've used this for myself in my own business, if you'd like. Because I think it's really powerful to understand that the things we don't like, the things that are painful, really can push us forward. So for me, I have physical products that I sell. And several years back, I had a shipment that came in thousands and thousands and thousands of products filling literally the warehouse from like floor to ceiling, wall to wall, jam packed. And I was very excited. Product was there early, ready for launch. Everything else opened up the first box, everything inside was damaged, every single item. I opened up a second box, a third box, a fourth box, a 20th box, 100th box. Everything is damaged. Now that's the time where I could crumple into a heap, or I can say, okay, alteration. We're going to figure out what we're going to do. And I did. We called it the great Frankenstein project. I pulled what I could to make it work. I reordered what I needed to. We couldn't get everything done at the manufacturer, so we had to Frankenstein everything ourselves. And so we spent we being me and my husband, we spent 60, 80, 100 hours a week during that three month period working every single day, seven days a week at the warehouse. Because I knew that if I just crumpled up in a ball and said, all these products are destroyed, I would have lost my business. It would have just never taken off from there. So I spent every day at the warehouse. The kids would get off the school bus, they'd go to the warehouse. We would spend weekends at the warehouse. We would eat dinner at the warehouse. We got to the end of that season in my life, and I wanted to stop and reflect. And the reflection process told me I was the world's worst mother. I felt terrible. I felt awful. I was like, this is not the kind of parent I want to be where my kids are literally not doing anything after school, they're not doing anything fun. We're eating fast food in the warehouse because we're working nonstop. And I very easily could have used that as an opportunity to just continue to beat myself about what a bad mom I was. That was the moment, because I knew that's not what I want. How can I push against that to create what I do want? I made a decision after that season in my life that I was going to leave work every day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 3 o', clock, no questions asked. I leave work at 3 o' clock on Fridays. I'm not going to work. So I'm just going to work four days a week till 3 o'. Clock. So that way I can really focus in on my family and put on my mom hat in the afternoons when the kids are ready for homework and snacks and those kinds of things. And I made that decision several years ago. And here I am years later, still holding those boundaries, really holding strong to when I work and when I don't work. And if I hadn't gotten to that point where I reflected and looked at that painful moment, I may not be where I am now, where I am, running a business on my own terms, running a seven figure business, not working seven days a week, but working four days a week till three o'. Clock.
Okay, first of all, the struggle is real. And I so feel for you on that whole Frankenstein event. I would have definitely been shedding some tears. So I completely empathize. Yeah, I'm sure.
Right?
That's so frustrating. And the hard, hard hit, however, I completely understand that you had in those windows of time, it's a grind and you know, there is an end, it's temporary and that you can get through it. Right. I also personally believe your kids learned massive business lessons from being involved in that.
Absolutely. I think that's a big thing too, that, you know, a lot of times we as women feel like we have to do all the shoring, all the holding up, all the foundation. We have to hold everybody else up. And really, I'm a big advocate for bringing your kids into your work, bringing your kids into your business, really letting them understand what you do on a daily basis. The trials, the tribulations, the successes and the celebrations, all of that. When I talk about my business, I talk about it as our business, which is why you'll hear me say we all the time. Because it's not just my business. Even though I'm the sole owner of the business, it belongs to my family. It belongs to all of us. So really letting my kids be a part of that has made a huge difference for us. I think as women, we have such a unique position in that we are able to really create new models for what women are capable of for our daughters. But I also think we're able to create new models of what women are capable of to our sons. I've got one of each. And so they have a really unique perspective as far as what women do for a living. My son thinks that all women are CEOs and that they're capable. They're able to run the show no matter what. And I think that's really powerful.
Oh, I do, too. I think that they're getting an MBA program by being in the warehouse with you. So congratulations on that one. That's my opinion now. You know, it sounds amazing what you did. You made this shift to say, okay, I'm changing my schedule. I'm going to create boundaries so I can show up as the mom that I want to be. However, I hear that, Tanya, and I'm petrified for you because I can't imagine how scary this is. Just how I think. Right.
Oh, my gosh.
To make that decision, how much revenue am I going to let go of? How much missed business opportunity did you go through those feelings when you made that shift?
Well, I'm going to be honest, it's not easy to make a shift like that. But, you know, we touched on that whole idea of your North Star earlier, your mission, your vision, and your core values. One of my core values is family. So I knew that I needed family to be front and center, not just for me, but also for my employees as well, where family could be front and center for them as well. Because, by the way, my team also doesn't work on Fridays. We do Fridays off because they're able to really spend time with their families. It was scary. That's not something we can enter into lightly. But at the same time, I knew that if I continued doing things the way I had been doing them, I wasn't going to be living that life on my terms. I went into business for myself because I wanted to have lifestyle freedom. I wanted to have time freedom. And if I have chained myself to the warehouse or the computer or whatever it is that I've chained myself to because of a story I'm telling myself about what a good entrepreneur does or a good boss does or what a good mom does, I've lost all those opportunities for freedom. So, again, you can look at time as an obstacle that I only have a certain number of hours in the day, certain number of hours in the week. 168. I look at that as an opportunity. You have 168 hours every week to do with as you wish. And again, if you go back to that whole idea we talked about earlier with the Pareto Principle of figuring out who are your key clients, what are your key products. You're not doing as much, you're doing fewer things, you're doing them better, you're doing them in a way that fulfills you and you're making a lot more money.
Oh, I love that. All right, I've got to be implementing this asap. As soon as we disconnect today, I'm on it. So you share a lot of great exercises and strategies in on purpose. One of the concepts that you share that was new to me is habit stacking. And I was hoping you could share a little bit about that.
Yes. Well, you know, I think sometimes we hear that word habit and we think about biting our nails or things that are not good. But habits can be really good things, things that are really healthy for us, things that get us closer to that life we want. A lot of times we look at these people who we think are accomplishing amazing things and we are like, oh, they have amazing willpower, they have great discipline. I just don't have that willpower. And I'm here to say willpower doesn't exist. There is no discipline. It's just creating healthy habits for yourself. That's what most of those people have done is they've created healthy habits for themselves that they do without even thinking about it. They're just things that habits are things that we do on autopilot. Right.
If you're like me, you're always looking for ways to feel stronger in your workouts, recover faster from working out, have more energy during your day and preserve your health, mobility and strength as we get older. And Mitopure timeline is giving me that life and it's happening right now and I want it to happen for you too. This supplement really can help you because it supports your health at the foundation by encouraging cellular renewal. Might Appear is a precise dose of the rare postbiotic urolithin. It works by promoting an essential cellular cleanup process that clears out dysfunctional mitochondria, AKA your cell's battery packs. Might Appear is the only urolithin, a supplement on the market clinically proven to target the effects of age related cellular decline. Hello. With regular use, you are gonna see and feel the difference in the form of improved energy levels, better workouts, faster recovery, more endurance, all of which are helping you achieve your New Year's goals and making you Feel your best. P.S. might appear shown to deliver double digit increases in muscle strength endurance without a change in exercise. For the win. Cellular health is a foundation of well being and longevity. Mitopure recharges your cells, supporting any goals by helping all of your system work better. I'm excited to share that you can now get 20% off your first timeline purchase. There's never been a better time to experience the benefits of Mitopure. Use my Code Confidence at checkout. To receive 20% off today, go to timeline.com confidence that's T-I M E L I N E.com confidence as the air turns crisp and the holidays draw near, comfort becomes the best gift of all. Quince delivers layers that last, sweaters, outerwear and everyday essentials that feel luxurious, look timeless and make holiday dressing and gifting effortless. Quince has it all. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters made for everyday wear. Denim that never goes out of style, silk tops and skirts that add polish and outerwear. Built to take on the season. Perfect for gifting or upgrading your own wardrobe. Honestly, Quint's Italian wool coats are at the top of my list. The cuts feel designer and the quality rivals high end brands, but without the high end markup. By working directly with ethical top tier factories, Quince skips the middleman and offers prices 50% less than similar brands. I mean if you want to look like you are wearing the highest end clothing out there without those huge price tags, Quince is the answer. Literally there's something for every single person on your list. The Mongolian cashmere sweater is the softest sweater I have and it is my go to every day. If you want to elevate your look without paying more, Quint is the answer. Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last from quints perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to quince.com confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com confidence to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com/confidence so if you want to create.
Some healthy habits for yourself, bad habits are really easy to stick to. The healthier ones take a little bit of intentionality. So you choose the habit that you want to focus in on and then you think about what's a habit I am already doing, what's something that I already do on a regular basis that I could stack on top of. So say for example every morning you get yourself a cup of coffee. It's something that you just do. You don't think about, you don't question it, you just get up and you get your cup of coffee, right? Well, you could say to yourself, what's a healthy habit? I want to stack on top of that. Let's say meditation is something you really want to do. What if you made the decision that, okay, I go to get my coffee and then I'm going to stack on top of that habit, That's a habit I'm already doing right next to my coffee maker. I'm going to place my meditation app, or I'm going to place my Tibetan bowls or whatever it is, I'm going to put it right next to the coffee maker. So when I go there and I'm going there already, because that's already a habit, it's right there. And I know, okay, this is what I do next. And then I just create this healthy habit of I get my coffee, then I go do my meditation. Or if it's journaling, put your journal right there. But really make it so it's an easier way to get started because you already have a habit you're already doing, so you just follow it up with something else that you really want to do on top of that.
Okay, this is crazy. It's like you have a hidden camera in my apartment. Because everything you just described is, I did it by chance, so I didn't do it by design, which so much about on purpose. It is about being intentional, and I just fell into this. But same thing you were saying. I wanted to start meditating and there isn't a good time in the day because, you know, once I get out the door to get my son to school, I'm home and I go to work out. Then it's race back to work, right? There just wasn't that window. However, somehow I thought of, you know, what about in that window, when he's in the shower in the morning and I'm drinking my coffee, I decided to bring my coffee with me to my couch with my Headspace app open on my phone. And at least even if it was just for four minutes, it was something. And to me, doing something good for me was better than nothing.
Yes. I mean, that's the thing is we think, you know, if I want to meditate, it has to be for like 45 minutes. No, no, no, no. Let's throw that. Let's throw that whole idea out the window. Four minutes counts. You know, we have this whole idea that in order to do something big, it has to be these big things, right? As we said earlier, it's the small steps, four minute meditation. And I can guarantee that four minutes makes a big difference. Right. And then eventually maybe you'll find that you want to build on it, maybe you won't, and either one is okay. But I love that that's exactly what you're doing. You're right. I must have a hidden camera.
Oh, gosh, I hope not. Because I'm always thinking I'm on Punk somehow and that it's going to be like something's going to show up in my house on tv. Okay, when you think back to on purpose and why you created it and what this was all about for you, what is it that you ultimately want people to leave? Having read the book, Feeling, understanding and doing.
Yes. Well, what I want, first of all, is I want women to feel successful. I think far too many women are chasing busy. We're doing everything we think we're supposed to be doing or we should be doing. We're checking a million things off our to do list, running ourselves ragged, doing this and that and everything and anything and just running ourselves crazy. And then we fall into bed at night, we're exhausted, and we are just frustrated, and our head hits the pillow and we go, ugh, why didn't I get more done? Right? Even though you were busy all day long, even though you checked a thousand things off your to do list, why didn't I get more done? Or I'm the worst, I didn't do nearly enough. Here's the truth. If we do things that matter to us, if we focus in on our priorities, if we do fewer things with more intention, that's when we fall into bed at night and say, you know what? Today was an amazing day? That would be a question I'd like your listeners to think about. When is the last time that you went to bed and thought, good work today. You're amazing. You're incredible. Because far too many women are not saying that to themselves at all. So really, that's what I want. I want women to feel more accomplished. I want them to feel more energized for life as a whole. Because I feel like we live so much of life on repeat, doing things that we think we're supposed to be doing that we miss finding the happiness and the joy that's right there in our everyday moments. I think there is joy and happiness that is hidden in cracks and crevices in our everyday life. When we slow down, when we live life with intention, when we create time so it works for us, not against us, that's really when we have that feeling of satisfaction. That's when we have that happiness that we're all chasing after.
It's funny you say that. This morning was very stressful morning. Running, running, running in no time. And I could feel my anxiety coming on as I'm getting in the car to make sure we make it to the bus, to the deadline so he gets to school on time. But now that when you're saying that and expressing the importance of gratitude and finding that happiness, I'm thinking of, you know, the funny things that he'll say in the car or, you know, whatever that kind of reminds you, like, oh, I'm so. What a. I'm so lucky I have such a great kid and what a blessing in this life. But sometimes we lose that in the anxious moments and running to catch the bus or hit that deadline.
Oh, without question, without question. And I think for many people, the life we have now, a lot of the things in our life that add stress were things that we once dreamed of, the things we once wished for and aspired for, you know, like your kids. And, you know, the whole idea of taking her to the bus was probably something that was really idyllic long ago in the throes of real motherhood. It's a stressful mess. It's a tough gauntlet some mornings, especially when they don't get out of bed, trust me, I totally get that. But there are just these little moments if you slow down and it's like that little funny comment they made or that look they gave you or the, you know, there's so much of that that we miss because we're so busy rushing, rushing, rushing and hurrying out the door.
Well, you also just reminded me that one year ago my son was on virtual school and I prayed for the day that I would be rushing out the door at 6am to get him on a bus. Truly, you just reminded me of that one year ago I was praying for today. And then today I was almost having an anxiety attack because I was so stressed out about it. So thank you for that. I'm going to reflect and I'm going to remind him about that too, this afternoon when he gets home.
I love it. I love it because I think that's so true. It's really easy to get caught up in the busyness of our everydays when really there are these little pockets, these little moments that really are filled with happiness. We just have to slow down a little bit. Can we. Can we stop feeling like the need to hustle? Can we stop feeling like we have to do more and choose what we want to do. That's really what living on purpose is all about. It's not about changing who you are. It's rising up and becoming the best version of you.
Oh, I love this. Everyone's going to want to check out on Purpose. Where can they find it?
It's available anywhere books are sold starting on October 12th. You can also get information on pre ordering it. If this comes out before it comes out@tanyadalton.com Onpurpose would be a great place to find all the places where you can.
Tanya, thank you so much for this reminder today. I appreciate you helping all of us live on purpose and making this world a better place.
Absolutely. This is a lot of fun.
Okay guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone.
You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.
Come on this journey with me.
More from Heather


Confidence Classic: Why Your Energy Attracts Everything Into Your Life with Heather!


Confidence Classic: Break Free From NEGATIVITY and Start Moving Forward with Heather!


Confidence Classic: The Goal-Setting Habits That Turn Dreams Into Reality with Heather!


Confidence Classic: The Mindset Shifts That Help You Break Out of a Rut with Heather!


Confidence Classic: How To Turn Setbacks Into Strength and Gratitude with Heather!


Confidence Classic: How to Go Bigger and Stop Holding Yourself Back with Heather!