#162: How To Confront Your Challenges With Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seat. I'm ready for my close. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited you're back here with me today. Okay, so we are in November now, which, as you know, if you've been with me for a little while, this is go time. Our new book, Overcome youe Villains, is dropping live on the world this month. And that is crazy, stressful and exciting and did I mention stressful? Okay. I've got a lot of goals around the book, right? So I've self published my first book, Confidence Creator, which is very, very different than publishing with a traditional publisher. The traditional publisher gave me really large space, specific goals in regards to numbers of books pre, sold and sold and sold the first week. And, you know, very targeted, very grandiose, very big. Okay, we have not hit those numbers yet. No, not yet, but we are working on it. So anything you can do to help spread the word on Overcome youe Villains is so appreciated. And I've talked about this before, but it's been a big learning lesson for me to see so often. You know, first of all, the issue when you self publish is that you don't have distribution, right? Your only distribution point is primarily Amazon. So that's one opportunity to sell it from. When you work with a traditional publisher, you ultimately get the opportunity to have millions of distribution points, right? In different countries, in Barnes and Noble, in Target and Walmart. Everywhere. You are everywhere. Because they own those distribution channels. They have partnerships for years and years, they've created these partnerships and channels for business to be done. So immediately you've got a leg up in many ways because distribution is very important. And it's important in your business too. And it's something to just consider and look through that lens. How many distribution points are you accessing currently and what is that potential? There's always the potential to add more or optimize the ones that you're using. So to that end, you know, the other thing that I've learned that's very different this time around than last time. Last time was 2018, was I didn't consider this idea of one to one versus one to many. And let me explain to you what I mean by that. I learned from my publisher that I should be, whenever I have a speaking engagement, I should be selling those companies hundreds, if not thousands of books as part of what I negotiate my, my fee structure and so that was something that never crossed my mind before. I didn't know companies did that. Right. But a lot of companies do this, whether they're buying them for their customers for holiday gifts or for their sales team or just their employees as a way to invest in their employees and elevate their employees and show their employees that they care. It's very common practice. And yet again, the company that I used to work, you know, in corporate America for 14 years, they never did that. So often we just see things through the lens of what we've experienced and what we know, which is not right. It just isn't. Sometimes ignorance is just not knowing. And that's really where I was living is I just had this ignorance around. I had no idea companies had budgets for this or did this and made these commitments to take care of clients and employees in that regard. So it really opened my eyes. And I've had some unbelievable conversations in the past month with a number of my speaking engagements, events that I have coming up. And so many of them jumped in and bought hundreds of books or, you know, we're in negotiations right now for thousands with one, oh my gosh, be so excited if this one comes through. Because literally in that moment, if someone buys thousands of your book so that they can take care of their entire company, your entire situation as an author has changed. Because, you know, the way to make the Wall Street Journal list or the, you know, USA Today list is all around number of books sold. So it's just so interesting and a great reminder that so often we think, oh, I'm so far away from success. But are you really? Maybe if you're looking at it like I was on the one to one, right. DM people and ask people to buy one book, well, then maybe, yeah, 7,000 orders sounds like a lot. But is it a lot when you talk to a company that has 6,000 employees and they're looking to purchase 6,000 books? Nope. Suddenly it's not that much. Right. So think to yourself, are you approaching things one to one, or is there a way for you to approach things one to many? Because one to many helps you achieve your goals and find success so much faster. And I didn't think that way back in 2018 with the first book. I didn't realize that was an opportunity. And I, and I'm definitely starting to lean into that now. I can see why, like with anything, when you're a first time anything, or a rookie seller or a rookie author, you just don't know what you don't know, and that's the holdback, but that's the whole process about getting better and learning more and starting your way down the road to ultimately becoming an expert in something which, oh, my gosh, I am so not an expert in the book world. I'm still a rookie with this only being my second book. Another great example is I remembered the other day, oh, I wish that I had submitted myself for the Miami book event. There's every summer there's this big book fair, and all the authors go, and, you know, people who love books go. And it's just this really great opportunity to showcase your work. And I thought, oh, my gosh, this time I'm gonna be ahead of it. I'll be able to get in because last time they said they didn't want self published or whatever. So I reach out to this person that I'm only familiar with because back in 2018, I tried to get in and was told no. And I reached back out to this person to say, now I have a deal with HarperCollins leadership. My book's coming out in November. I'd love if there's a way to add me for your event. And, you know, gave her some insight into what the book was about. And she replied right away, oh, you missed the window. It closed a month ago. And so these are the things you just don't know. Trial and error. You know, create a word doc and save important dates around books. Right? So the next book that I do, I'll be able to submit it in time. But, you know, like anything, no one shows up on day one and gives you this. You know, here's all the important dates, here's the things. Make sure you don't use a strategy one to one. Instead, go one to many. You know, no one gives you that roadmap. These are the things through trial and error, through conversations that you have with other people. And then listen, I want to be innovating the process. I want to find a new way to hack and succeed that other people haven't found yet. I want to challenge myself and challenge my team to see and do things differently. And that's why it's important to work with people from different industries, different walks of life, different countries, and really try to lean into what is that one unique and special thing you can do different than everyone else. Okay, so I have this really interesting story that I came across the other day through a friend of mine, actually, that I want to share with you. I found it really powerful. I think you will, too, if you haven't heard it before. It's famous, it's from years ago. I don't actually don't know who originated the story. I don't see any documentation online about it, but obviously somebody did. Just not sure who it was. Okay, but I'm gonna share it with you. You can definitely google it online. I'm sure you'll probably have better luck than I will finding out who the originator was. But it's an amazing story in that it really resonates with me and how we can shift the way that we're thinking in any moment. Okay, I'm going to read this from just some clips online. This is reposted many places. I, for whatever reason, had never heard of it though before, so I can't assume you've heard of it. So I'm going to share it with you. Okay. It's a story of a Chinese farmer and it's really, really powerful. Very simple, but very powerful. Hang with me. A farmer and his son had a beloved horse who helped the family earn a living. One day the horse ran away and and their neighbors exclaimed, your horse ran away. What awful luck. The farmer replied, maybe so, maybe not. A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild horses back to the farm as well. The neighbor shouted, your horse has returned and brought several horses home. What great luck you have. The farmer replied, maybe so, maybe not. Later that week, the farmer's son was trying to break one of the horses and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbors cried, your son broke his leg. What terrible luck you have. The farmer replied, maybe so, maybe not. A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the the healthy boys for the army. They did not take the farmer's son because he had a broken leg. The neighbor shouted, your boy has been spared. What tremendous luck you have. To which the farmer replied, maybe so, maybe not. We'll see. It is really impossible to tell whether anything that happens is good or bad in that moment. You never know what the consequence of misfortune or good fortune can be, as only time will tell that whole story. And for me, this is really about. You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them after the fact. When you're looking back. Things might be looking great at the beginning, but over time it doesn't shape up to be the way that you had imagined and you start feeling bad about it and thinking you're failing. However, things continue to change and evolve. We can't judge things in the moment for right or wrong, good or bad. And the more we embrace that and embrace the story. Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see. I'm challenging myself to employ that rationale and that thinking when these low moments occur, which they happen for all of us, right? Beginning to trust that the universe is unfolding exactly the way that it's supposed to, instead of believing things have to be the way we thought they should be.

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So I hope that that story helps you. Maybe so, maybe not. I guess you'll see. Okay, so for me I am using that story in an interesting way in that of course things are not going as planned with my book launch. Oh my gosh, that's an understatement and I'll give you a specific example. I don't think I shared this with you yet, but I got a call from my publisher that it looks like my launch date is changing. Now, you might think, oh, that's not a big deal, but here's where I felt like, oh, gosh, why is this happening to me? You know, you create events and a sequence of things happening right up to launch. I've been promoting the heck out of November 9th as my launch date. It's posted everywhere. Everyone on my VIP launch team is talking about the 9th, right? We coordinated. Who would be posting an email list? And, you know, there's all of these planning and events and sequencing happening around the 9th, because that was the date. And then I got the call that it looks like it's gonna be the 16th. So for me, you know, that's where I like the story that I just shared with you around the farmer, the horse, and the son. The idea is that, is it bad if my launch date changes? Well, of course, originally I thought it was awful and that now everything's out of sequence and that's not going to work. And then I had to challenge myself to see it through this lens. Maybe so, maybe not. I guess I'll see. And so for me, I look back in my life and my career, right? I mean, the obvious one is getting fired in that moment. It was awful, right? And everybody was saying, this is awful, and I was saying, this is awful. And here we are, just a few years later, and I'm grateful I got fired. I certainly wouldn't want to go back and do all that work over again. It's been massive amounts of work, massive amounts of not knowing what I'm doing, trial and error, failing, getting back up, just having my ego kicked right out of my head, right? Just being a beginner after being an expert in a marketplace for so long. All these things have been hard, right? I just humbling and very, very difficult. And it's been not what I ever thought it would be. However, today, sitting here, when I look back and I remember myself saying, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I'm devastated. I've lost everything. You know, that wasn't true. Maybe so, maybe not. I guess we'll see. And what I'm seeing is it didn't go the way I had hoped, right? I didn't want to get fired. I didn't want to leave that company. But it went the way I. It had to be. I had outgrown that company, right? I was shrinking myself Trying to play small, to try to get someone else to like me. That is horrible for anyone. I was in a toxic work environment. Horrible. And I used to tell myself, I have golden handcuffs. I can't leave. And yes, of course, it was easier when you had that quote, unquote guaranteed PayCheck coming in versus navigating in the dark as an entrepreneur, having no idea how to write a book, having no idea how to launch a speaking career, having no idea how to do any of these things. But it really didn't seem it in the moment, but it is a blessing. And that is so crazy. And it's taken over three years to have that realization for me. So no matter what you're up against right now, know that. Maybe so, but maybe not. Maybe it isn't bad, maybe it isn't great, right? We don't know. You're gonna have to wait and see. And that whole idea of patience and the universe having your back and trusting that things are unfolding the way that they should, but maybe so much better. Maybe this date change for me is gonna be so much better than I could have ever imagined, and I'm gonna be so incredibly grateful for it. Right? Maybe that's the answer and I've gotta just start thinking that way versus thinking, oh, my gosh, everything is wrong. So one thing that came out of this that was really good, the whole reason why the dates are changing and this is super important for you in your life with many things, is that there are supply chain issues everywhere in the world right now. What does that mean to you? That means that paper is a commodity that's virtually impossible to access. So again, this is in the publishing business and I only know this stuff because I'm with HarperCollins leadership and they're sharing this insight with me that I'm lucky my book got printed. I'm one of the last books that got printed for the year. So many authors who are in situations like myself that had books coming out in fourth quarter of 2021 did not get their books printed. There wasn't enough paper. So there are scarcity issues, right? There are. And that's not just with publishing. That's with toilet paper again and paper towels again and some meats and foods.

Right.

There are many issues out there in the world. This is a big issue with shipping, with Amazon. So the way that I want to share this with you is that, number one, I'm just giving you some knowledge around this unique publishing world. I have information on, please go out and get paper towels and Toilet paper and any necessities you need in your house. Cause we don't know how long we're gonna have till literally the stores could be empty again, at least for a period of time. But the other thing is, if you have gifts that you wanna get people, especially kids and stuff for the holidays, I would so recommend doing it in advance because we don't know which product is going to be obliterated because of the supply chain issues. We don't know what shipping situation is gonna impact you directly. Just move sooner than later on anything that you do want to have shipped or bought or purchased. And again, I'm learning this firsthand from HarperCollins because they're dealing with it. They are changing book launch dates for so many authors, some they don't even have the books printed. And so I decided to see this as I challenge myself through the story that I just shared with you around the farmer, that, okay, maybe this is the best blessing. How could I see this as a blessing? And suddenly I remembered sales 101. Scarcity, right? Scarcity is a reason to buy now. And so seeing this in real time, that these dates are changing because their supply chain issues means, yes, my book made one run, right? They had, they were able to deliver on one print run. For me, when that print run sells out, which it will, I don't know when the next time is that that next print run will go because there's such an issue with paper products right now. So maybe it'll be months later. I don't. Again, I have no control over this. HarperCollins doesn't have control over it. It's the publishing industry overall and the issue with paper products. So I started changing that dialogue and conversation when I speak to companies now, one to many approach, okay. When I'm having that conversation with them, I apprise them. Hey, let me share with you in total transparency. My book was supposed to come out earlier and it's not. And here's why. There's major supply chain issues. There's an issue with a lack of paper products. Lack of paper, which means books aren't getting printed. I have no idea how that's going to impact my second book run. But I do know this. When this first run sells out, it might be delayed for that next print run. So if you have an event coming up in the next few months, buy now, create a sense of urgency now, ship now so we can guarantee you get them ahead of time. Let other people worry about their deal. But I want them for you and for your event. And so, you know, anytime we want people to move and take action, it is important to have some type of a potential scarcity issue. And this one just showed up and landed on my lap for me. I didn't have to create it. Right. I remember when I was in the radio business, I would have to structure deals or whatever and say, you know, at the end of the month, we're pulling this deal. We don't have the inventory for it, whatever it was. But there was always, here's a reason why you need to act now. Well, now the printing and publishing business gave me this gift. So at first I was really upset about moving the date, but now I'm realizing I can actually leverage that to put it to work for me. So I'm going to ask you this. Whatever challenge that you're facing currently in your business and in your life, how can you leverage that challenge, see it differently, but so that it's actually an advantage point for you, can you allow that situation to be a positive or turn it into a positive? And that's what I guess, you know, we don't know in the moment, but maybe if you start looking for it, you will be able to find it. And I am choosing to be grateful that my date looks like it's moving. Although I just mentioned to my publisher, hello, it still says the ninth on Amazon. Are you sure mine's been changed? And they were explaining that there's so many issues right now with crates and shipping and warehouses closing because of COVID and not having enough warehouse workers and everything is on delay, that some of this trickle down effect, they aren't positive on specific dates because things are getting bumped last minute. So again, for your holidays, for your home, for your business, be aware this is a very real issue and get ahead of it if you can and create a sense of urgency if you can. Just like this paper product issue gave me one, the delay has turned into a reason for people to buy and buy now because we don't know what will be available a month from now. And that is fact. Okay, it's that time of year again.

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So back to some other in other news, one of the things that happened in the last week since I spoke with you last is a really good friend of mine had his book launch party in New York. Now the last one he had was in 2019. The first one I ever went to that he had was in 2018. So I always go to his book launch events. I've been a contributing author for him. I wrote the foreword for one of his books and obviously last year's was canceled due to Covid, but this year he said I'm bringing it back, let's do it. And so I haven't been to New York in two years and it was so exciting to be able to go to his event to support him and to be back in real life with people I hadn't seen in a couple of years was an amazing experience. And it's funny, we all know that you stay in touch with people via email and Text and calls and even zoom and. But that's nothing like actually being in real life with people. And I was able to see one of my dearest girlfriends who I haven't seen since COVID And we sat for hours and just talked. And I was able to learn so much more around what's going on in her business and her life. Things that, you know, we just weren't sitting on the phone that long to talk about. And it was such a meaningful and important trip to me, and I was so gracious and. Or glad or grateful to be connected again to people that I just. Gosh, I love and just haven't seen. And the whole idea of showing up to support other people always comes back to you, and it's already come back tenfold. You know, a number of people that I saw there all asked and rallied around me, how can we support the book? How can we support your launch? And now we've actually put together on November 17, put it down in your book. From 7 to 9pm EST, we are going to put on the largest LinkedIn Live book launch party event that anyone has ever seen. It is flipping massive. It is gonna be unbelievable. And this is something that's so different and unique and cool and I've never seen anyone do. And so all of these things come from, you know, that date moving, which I thought was gonna be a negative, to this event, which I was kind of stressing out about with wearing the mask on the airplane and the vaccine cards in New York.

Right.

There's all these challenges along the way, but in the end, I'm so grateful that I went. I'm so grateful I was there to support my friend. And then in turn, so many people supported me. So, you know, do that next right thing. Show up for your people. You never know how it's going to come back and impact you. And I really had no idea about all of these occurrences that ended up being really, really positive. And again, of course, plenty of it is work and dealing with challenges and finding ways to overcome them. And of course, my son got sick while I was gone for 24 hours. Right. There's all these things along the way that make it challenging, but in the end, I'm, you know, checking with the one voice and opinion that matters, and that's your own. And I knew this was the right thing for me to do for my friend. I'm so glad that I went. And it, in turn, has opened up a lot of different doors and opportunities for me already. And I'm just one day back so pretty exciting stuff. And by the way, I haven't been to New York in two years, and LaGuardia is completely different. And it's so funny. I thought when I landed and I get off the plane, I was anticipating seeing regular laguardia, only to see it felt like I was in Atlanta. The airport was completely different. The best way I can frame it up is this. It's like the. You know, it's like a butterfly emerging. This place is gorgeous. It's unbelievable. And I guess over the last two years, while I was not in New York, I was stuck back in Florida because of COVID This airport has completely been refurbished. I'm sure I can't even imagine how much money or how many man hours went into it, but it's unbelievable. And it was so exciting just to see how the world is changing, even if we're not laying eyes on it. You know, you never know until you land what's going on in another city. Even though people might tell you it's always gonna be more impactful when you're the one that can see it through your own eyes. And I'll tell you, people have been saying to me, oh, my gosh, New York is back. Well, when you live in Miami, no, it's not people, right? So it's funny, depending on what building you go into, everybody's wearing masks. Or depending on an event you go to, no one's wearing masks. Or depending on if you walk into a restaurant, you have to show your vaccine card. So it's sort of. It's very different than Miami. Again, there's a lot more people there than there were for a long time, but definitely different. And if, you know, whatever you're used to, whatever you're accustomed to becomes your norm. I was on a Zoom call with 10 different people from a company that hired me to speak at their annual event, actually this month. And they had a representative from 10 different states around the country. So, I mean, there were people from California, there were people from New York, there were people from New Orleans, you know, all over, one from Florida. And when we went around, you know, just basically asking what's important for you and for your team for the event, you know, what do you want to achieve and accomplish? Asking those qualifying questions, the one woman in California said, I just want to see people. I don't see people. You know, and just to hear how different her world was versus the woman who spoke from Texas, saying that she's been around people forever, her kids are all back in school, everything is totally back to normal for her, it's just, it's so, gosh, we just have to give grace to people. We never know what people are dealing with. We always assume people are in the same boat that we are. And it was just eye opening for me to have heard from my friends from New York how normal New York was and then for me to go there and it was not what I expected at all. Again, just because my day to day reality is so different than theirs. And I'm sure, you know, when they come down to Florida, they'll feel the same way, that it's very different. But too often we just see things through our own lens, our own experience, and we think the whole world is that same way. And I was just reminded on this trip, it totally is not. And we just need to be grateful for what we do have. Grateful for the opportunities we create for ourselves and grateful to have friends that we can support. That in turn will probably support us too. And for sure I'm feeling that way today. So I hope that story today helps you in some way. I've been thinking about it a lot and it's helping me to get through the challenge first world problem of the book launch date change, right? I mean, come on, get over it. But maybe so, maybe not. I guess we'll see. So the next time you are confronted with a challenge, any kind of a challenge, any kind of a move, any kind of a book launch change date.

Hello.

I just want you to ask yourself, hmm, I wonder if this is bad or good. And really, should I even be putting either label on it? Probably not. Maybe so, maybe not. I guess we'll see. Okay, until next week. By the way, thank you so much for all of the reviews of the podcast. If you haven't yet subscribe, please leave a review. I so wanna hit a thousand reviews this year. It would be amazing. And we're getting so close. When you share the podcast with your friends, when you share it with one person that you think could benefit from it, you are literally changing a single mom's life. And that single mom is me. And I totally appreciate you and your support. Give me your questions, I'm always happy to answer them. Shoot me a DM on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or on LinkedIn. And I will always answer your questions on the show. So appreciate your support. Means the world that you're here with me. And don't forget, overcome your villains. Maybe it's coming out November 9th, maybe November 16th. Not sure which one. Maybe so, maybe not. But I will tell you this my bonus bundle, which is the $500 offer that I'm giving away for free. When you pre order, that's disappearing too. So again, call to action. Sense of urgency. We're giving deadlines and dates here. If you haven't pre ordered yet, you don't want to miss out when that first print run is gone. Who knows when it will be back in stock again. So please take action today. Go to overcomeyourvillains.com, pre order now. Download the $500 Bonus Bundle for free or send it to a friend. Send it to someone you love. And if you're thinking of buying the book for a gift for anyone in your life, please buy it now so that you aren't left empty handed because of supply chain issues come holiday time. Okay? Hope that helps. Hope everything is going well in your world and thank you as always for being here. Until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be too. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing inevitably somehow thing will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me.