#202: START Vibrating on a Higher Frequency With Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited you are back here with me today. Okay. We have a lot of new listeners lately, I'm finding because I've been getting a lot of dms and I. I wanted to just reintroduce myself in case we haven't formally met. I am Heather Monahan and I'm so happy you're here for my ride or die OGs. Please just indulge me a minute. Okay. So my background is I came up through corporate America and made it to the C suite. I was killing it in the media business for over 25 years. And after 14 years at one company and being promoted three times and being named one of the most influential women in radio, I was suddenly fired. And it was a crazy, unexpected turn of events, which in the moment sucked. It was awful. I don't know if you've ever been fired, but it is a major punch in the gut in the moment. But like anything, you know, in time, you know, I have this perspective now that I can look back and say, greatest gift I was ever given. However, it was not a painless road, right, to get here. But growth is not always easy. We have to step into the uncomfortable. And in fact, maybe that's where the actual magic happens. It is. So that's what I've learned is, you know, stepping out. I had an 18 month non compete, non solicit, which meant I could not go to a competitor, I couldn't work in the media business for 18 months, and I couldn't hire any of my former employees for 18 months. So basically, I had to start over somewhere as a rookie. I had to start over as a beginner somewhere. And somewhere along that way I figured out, if I'm gonna start over as a beginner, why don't I just double down and roll the dice on me? And it wasn't like an epiphany I had, by the way. I didn't just wake up the next day and decide that that process actually took a while too, because I was toggling back and forth between do I go back to a corporate environment in a new industry and try that, or, or do I keep trying to go to work for myself? You know, I was so uncertain and unclear. I didn't have this strong confidence and this knowing and this clarity at that point in time. And that's listen, there's gonna be situations in all of our lives where we have to muddle through that lack of clarity, that lack of knowing to find it. And I'm grateful I never gave up. I'm grateful I didn't go back and start over in a new industry and just, you know, sign up for. For something else. I'm grateful I listened to my intuition. I stepped into the unknown. I took messy action, made lots of mistakes, and lots of really great things happened. And I started asking for signs. I was asking God, the universe, please show me signs. I'm on the right path. And the more I've done that, the more amazing messages I've gotten, the more incredible things have happened. Okay, so here's the breakdown. I got fired. I posted that I had been fired. That post landed me on the Elvis Duran show. And halfway through that show, he says to me, well, Heather, obviously you're writing a book. But I wasn't writing a book. I didn't even know anyone could write a book. I thought you had to be anointed or a literary major. Turns out any jackball can write a book. So this jack ball did just that. I wrote Confidence Creator in five months time because I knew I needed a product to sell. And I launched that product. It trumped Donald Trump the first week. It came out for number one on the business business biography list. I had no idea that was gonna happen. Swear to you. And I laugh when people say to me, oh, of course you knew it would be a success. No, I didn't. I had no idea if anyone, if one person would buy my book, much less a lot of people. So I was blown away, super excited. But that happened from stepping into the unknown. That happened from showing up as a beginner author, having no idea what I was doing and taking that chance on me. And that's what I want, for you, to take that chance on you. Then I googled how do you sell books? And it said speak. And I thought, great. I've been speaking for 20 something years in corporate America. I just didn't know there was a speaking business. So I stumbled into the speaking business, which was amazing because there's billions of dollars to be made there. And I absolutely believe I was born to speak to audiences. I love it. That's when I feel like magic. If you aren't doing something for a job that makes you feel like magic, you have not found your passion, your purpose, and your mission yet. Keep looking. Keep asking God in the universe what that is. Keep looking for those signs and you will find that right path and that right place in time. It only took me, what, 43 years. 44 years. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so that speaking led to me interviewing Sarah Blakely live on Stage. Stage in 2019. And my speaking business blew up. My TEDx talk got promoted to TED killing it, and then Pandemic, and everything disappeared overnight. And I just said, take messy action. How can I solve a problem and create value from home? And something said to me, go read your DMs, see what people ask you for. And people were asking me, do you do consulting? Do you do coaching? So I launched a coaching and consulting program. Program, having no idea what I was doing. And that led to me getting appointed to the Board of directors of HealthLink Corp. Which has been an amazing experience. I get to work with amazing people, and I'm so grateful that would have never happened if the pandemic hadn't come. The pandemic also led to me writing and pitching my second book, Overcome youe villains, to HarperCollins leadership. And after 14 nos, finally, lucky number 15, we landed a deal, and we got to work on bringing Overcome youe Villains to life, which launched in November of 2021. That was super exciting. And then, oh, my podcast I launched. You're listening to it right now. I launched this in 2019, before the pandemic. You know, there's just been so many things. Messy action, jumping on opportunities, testing and trying and just moving forward. Just keep going and just go bigger and. And so, again, some of it's been great, some of it's not been so great. I definitely was not a fan of the Pandemic, but this year seems to be something so different, and business is starting to pick up, and speaking events and live events are coming back, and, you know, there's just this energy in the air that I'm really, really hopeful for the future. I'm so excited about the uncertainty, and I've truly become excited to know that I don't know what's coming tomorrow. And that's what means anything can happen. Everything's possible when you're completely uncertain. So I'm super excited about it. I hope you're excited about this year, too, and that you're stepping into your passion and your purpose on this ride with me. Okay, so a couple things that I wanted to share with you today. I have been coaching this woman for maybe about a month now, and she wants to be a professional speaker. And anyways, two weeks ago, she showed me some footage of her speaking, and she looked different Right. She was reading a script. Ugh, I don't like that. I thought to myself, oh, my gosh, this is not her best her. So we had a talk. I said, listen, I think you should wear your hair like you always do. It's so cute. And a bun on your head and, you know, really step into who you are. No more notes. I want you to. Even if you just forget what you're saying, it's fine. Just videotape yourself. This is how you get better. It's just like when you're in Little League as a kid. On day one, you're not going to be a VIP All Star, right? You're not going to be the best player on the team. Put the reps in the same way you would at the gym or on a team. And over time, you get better. Trust that process, right? No one shows up on day one. Amazing. I certainly didn't, right? The first time I spoke, I was in my early twenties addressing my sales team. And I'm sure I was terrible back then, but after years and years of doing it, Competence builds confidence. You get better and you start stepping into who you really are. And that's where the magic happens when you start just being you. So I challenged her to do that. I said, I just really want you to be you. And today we went through her new footage literally in one week. This woman stopped with and like, literally dropped it. She didn't read from a script. She was so powerful. So she looked so beautiful because she showed up as her real self and trusted herself. And that's always the answer. And it reminded me of when I recorded the audible version of Overcome youe Villains, which, if you haven't listened to it yet, oh, my gosh, the reviews on it are crazy good because I stole the David Goggins idea. And at the end of every chapter, I just go off and riff and tell you the true, real behind the scenes story on what's going on with that topic or chapter.

And.

And people have been loving it, super grateful that you love it. But I remember HarperCollins said to me, you know, you don't get to narrate the audible version of Overcome youe Villains. I said, what do you mean? I said, I narrated the audible version of Confidence Creator. And I've had a podcast since 2019. Yes, I will narrate it. And they explained to me, that's not how it works here. You have to audition for the role of Heather Monaghan. By the way, we have a couple of really good voices that we'd like to go with not me. I was so stressed out and pissed off, by the way. I didn't even know you could do that again. I had no idea what the traditional publishing world was gonna be like. So I text my friend that has a book with HarperCollins. She did the audible version and I text her this long thing saying, I'm so upset. They want me to audition for the part of myself. What advice can you give me? Right? I was looking to someone who's been where I want to go. Those are the people we want to ask for direction. And. And it was so funny. She wrote back, lol. Are you kidding me? Just be you. And her point was that if I try to be somebody else, I'm not going to be the most powerful version of myself. And if I try to be someone else on the audition and they hire me, it's not going to be who I really show up when I record the book. So then they'll be upset. The only answer is always to just be you. And I'll tell you, the only times in my life I've really fallen short is when I was in situations and work environments where people didn't like me and I was trying to get them to like me. I was trying to be different. I was becoming a watered down, B rate version of myself. And ultimately then I didn't like me and everything fell apart. Right? So do you just be you for you and you'll attract the right people to you, you'll attract the right opportunities to you. The right doors will open for you. Conversely, when we show up as someone we're not, we attract the wrong people to us, the wrong opportunities. And I so remember, and this is so crazy because it comes full circle this week. Okay, years ago, back when I was in corporate America, this is probably maybe eight years ago, my son was. Maybe he was five or, or six. I don't know. He was little. He could have even been four, I'm not sure. But he was little. And he was in the backseat of my car, my suv. He was in the kid's seat, buckled up, I jumped out. It was like noon on a Sunday, bright sunny day in Miami. I jumped out of my car to put gas in. We were at a really busy gas station. I was working with a woman that couldn't stand me. I was in a relationship that I was getting the run around in, you know, for too long. Just things were not going amazing in my life back then. I know now when I look back at it, I was surrounded by people who were essentially villains in my life. And I wasn't dealing with it. I was trying to ignore it. And it was just things were getting worse and worse to get my attention, to do something, and I still wasn't doing anything. So I'm pumping the gas and all of a sudden I notice someone had jumped into my car. A man. He had stolen all of my stuff. I had left my keys, my wallet, my phone, everything in the console and. And my poor little son in the backseat thought he was getting kidnapped because here this guy was, he was in the driver's seat. I was on the other side, you know, pumping gas. I was occupied with what I was doing, completely unaware of what was happening. It ends up being such a horrible situation. My house keys were gone. Everything was gone. It was a nightmare. My son was beyond distraught, right? He was so afraid. It really was a negative experience for him for years. He does not want to go to a gas station. I mean, he will now, but it's not his favorite place. He always thinks of that. We got robbed, you know, the police had to come. It was just awful. Really bad situation.

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I never stopped to think maybe I'm attracting negative things into my life because I'm just vibrating at a really low energy level these days because I was so down about work and working with this lady that hated me and showing up as this B rate version of me and just, I was just emitting negativity even though other people might not have seen it. There's no way I was vibrating at a high frequency. And I know that we all know that there's times in life when things are going great and you're feeling energized and things are work like things are just connecting and working. That was not that window of time for me. I wished I picked my head up to look around to say, what negativity am I allowing for that is consuming my life that is dragging me down and the energy in me down so I attract more negative energy. Cause that's exactly what was happening. Cut to this is so crazy. Cut to this week. We get up really early at my house. My son has to be at his bus stop at 6:45am the bus leaves. It's dark out at that point in time. So I'm up at 5:30am every day. He's up by 6am every day. We have to leave the house by 6. So it's a little stressful in the mornings around here. I'll just put it that way. You know, you don't want to miss the bus. Otherwise I have to drive him an hour to school and then an hour ride home and I miss everything in the morning. Okay, so we are rushing out to get to the bus. I'm being crazy, me singing in the car to my son, annoying him. And all of a sudden I said, oh my gosh, the bus isn't here. This is the first time we've ever beat the bus in the morning.

Yay.

And he says, oh my gosh, mom, you know what I just realized? Today's late start. Once a quarter. They have a day where they start an hour late to let the kids sleep in for, you know, just to be nice, I guess. And I said, you're kidding me. We raced out the door at six in the morning for a bus that's not coming for another hour. And he said, yeah, I was so steaming mad. I'm sure you can totally get it. I was so mad that he couldn't have told me this the night before so I could have woken both of us up an hour later and we could have slept an hour longer. Right? So I was so frustrated, I just said, don't speak to me right now. I need a few minutes. I'm super upset. I look at the dashboard and we're almost out of gas. And I said, oh my gosh, we have to go to the gas station. And he's like, oh, mom, really? It's still dark out. You know, I don't like going to the gas station where it's dark, it's negative. And I said, you know what, this is a different time in our lives. We're going to be fine at the gas station. Tactically, this is so interesting. I learned you have to take your keys, your wallet, your phone, and you're supposed to lock the doors while you pump your gas. Just FYI. It's a great tip, right? So that's a tactical thing that you can do to ensure you don't get violated at a gas station. I wasn't aware of that before. But then I also truly believe when you fire the villains in your life and you start stepping into your purpose and your passion and showing up as that real, authentic, true version of you, you start attracting the right people towards you, vibrating at a much higher level. And you know, all of a sudden you're going to see that the right people, the right things, like things just start going better for you, right? So for me, I'm like, you know what, we're going to go to the gas station, Things are going to be fine. Well, I pull in to the gas station and I take my tactical steps. I take the wallet and the phone and everything with me and go to lock the door. I start pumping the gas. It's pitch black out. No one's out in south beach, right? It's, no one's up that early. And in pulls a police officer on a motorcycle, so friendly, saying hello, good morning, so nice. And it just felt like he was just sent there to look over us so that my son would feel safe at the gas station. That's literally what I felt. And I felt so much joy in my heart. Pump the gas. I say goodbye to him. Have a great day. I jump in my car, I look at my son and I say, did you just see that. And he said, yes. And I said, what do you think? And he said, oh, mom, forget it.

You know, whatever.

Like, he was kind of dismissing. The point I was making was, when we're vibrating at a higher energy, when we're stepping into who we really are, when we're doing good in the world, when we're being positive from a true place, and we've gotten rid of the negative people, places and things around us, gifts like that are gonna show up, right? Just serendipitously. So I said, all right, you know what? Why don't I take you to Starbucks? Cause this is something he never gets to do during the week, and he loves to go there. I'm like, let's go. We'll be the only ones in Starbucks in South Beach. So we park, we walk into Starbucks. We get there, my son orders, and he doesn't get cheese on anything. He doesn't do great with dairy. And the woman says, well, let me ask a question. Are you lactose intolerant? And he says, yes. And she said, well, I want you to know I'm gonna be so careful to make sure I take care of your sandwich. And there is not a big. I totally respect that you have that issue. And I wanna make sure that you have a good experience here. We look at each other. That never happens. P.S. so many times. We'll order Starbucks. And the cheese is on there, and he can't eat it, right? So it was just, again, another moment that we're like, wow, everything is just going so unbelievable today. This is crazy. So we leave there, we get home, and we're just talking about, oh, my gosh, like, what an amazing morning this ended up being. Even though, you know, we. We could have slept an hour later, but that's fine. So then he's going to put his necklace on. He had forgotten it at home, and now we're back at home, and he says, mom, do you want to put this on for me? And I stand up to help him. He goes, you know what? No, I need to learn how to do this myself. And I'm like, good for you. Okay. So he says, can you see if I'm close? And I said, no, don't play this game of. Is the class closed? Like, either do it yourself or don't. Right? Or I'll do it. And he's like, no, I'm doing it. And then he starts saying, oh, I can't do this. I can't do this. And then he says to himself, dylan, stop. I can do this. I can do this. I can get this clasp on. I can get this on. I can do this. And wouldn't you know, he puts that necklace on behind his head without being able to see. And it was this moment for me of just feeling like, yes, I believe in life, there's business strategy and there's tactics, and there are proven solutions and better ways to do things always right, and we can always meet that next level partner and access more information. And all of that stuff is so valuable. But truly, our mindset, our thoughts and what we're feeling and what we're putting out to the universe is so flipping important. And for the majority of my life, I did not know that. So later on that day, my son's at school, I went to the chiropractor, who's a friend of mine, and I said to him, you know, do you believe in this idea of, like, energy and the thoughts that we put out there you know, actually create things? And he said, yeah, of course I do. He said, but, Heather, look at your whole career. Obviously you believe in it too, or you wouldn't have had so much success in your life. And I explained to him, I said, I do believe in it. Now, however, I didn't know that before. I've only been learning this the past, you know, couple of years and I still don't have it on lock. I wish I did, because I'd be manifesting $10 million in my account tomorrow and I'd have this giant house on the water with a boat. I said, but, you know, I'm learning it and I do believe it and I know it to be true. But no, I didn't know that my whole life. And he said, yes, you did. There's no way you could have done what you did if you didn't. Maybe it was just subconscious to you, but you put it into action and into play at various times in your life. And the more I thought about what he was saying, he's right. Right? Like, I remember there's times, whether it be when my nanny quit and I was having a nervous breakdown and I just screamed out, I know someone in here. I was at this is after I had thrown out my back and I was at pt and I said, I know someone in here knows an amazing nanny or babysitter. Please walk over here and give me her number. And I knew it. I'm like, someone has to know someone. There's too many people here. This is crazy. And out of nowhere, some young college girl came up to me and gave me my babysitter's. Phone number who's literally the nicest person I've ever met in my life. Like, this amazing person walked into my life. Cause I just had this certainty in knowing, this feeling that somehow someone great would show up. I couldn't not have a babysitter. That's just one little example. Or when I knew I would be the chief revenue officer back at that media company. Or when I knew in my early 20s that we were going to make a killing when we sold our company, when I was an equity partner, I had these moments of knowing and certainty and clarity and a feeling that for certain it was going to happen. But I didn't understand. I was in charge of directing it. I thought for whatever reason, that's how I felt in that moment. It's just about being conscious about what we're creating, being conscious about what we're attracting to us. And for me, that really goes back to ensuring that we don't have those negative people in our lives, that we don't put ourselves in those toxic situations, that we put ourselves first. We make ourselves our number one priority, and we're mindful of the thoughts and. And feelings we're holding in any situation. That is so important. Oh, my gosh. That is like. That's my game changer this year. And I'm telling you, the signs that I'm being shown are crazy. That same day, I went to spin, and as soon as I walked in, my instructor that's known me for almost two years now says, I didn't know you had a podcast. Heather, I've had so many people in the last week come up and tell me how amazing your podcast is and how I have to listen and. And she's going on and on, and it was just saying to me, I'm on the right path. This is validation. This is a sign from the universe that I'm on the right path, that I'm on the right journey. And this is so welcomed, right? Like, it's just so. It's so great to get those messages and those signs. So start looking for them, because I promise you, they are everywhere. It's that time of year again.

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Okay then I had this woman this week. I get a lot of DMs on social media and one woman sent me a note and she sent me her entire personal story about, you know, how much hardship she's gone through in her life. Which she has. Right? I'm not diminishing that at all. And it's awful. And I have so much empathy for anyone who's had really awful times in their life. I get it. If you've read my book Overcome youe Villains, you know I get it. Okay, so anyhow, so I. I'm reading this note and it starts off all about her situation and then it cuts to hey Heather, I just lost my job. I'm supposed to be a keynote speaker. I know it in my heart of hearts like it was her truth. She knows it and she said so I need to know. What do I need to Do. And also, can you connect me to all of your contacts in the speaking business so I can start getting some business? I get so many messages about people wanting to be speakers, right? All the time. So I actually recorded two podcast episodes on this so that people had a tool that I could flip to them and say, yeah, here you go. You know, go do the work. Go listen to the show. One was with Kendra Hall. The other was with Zach Nadler from Vayner Speakers, Gary Vaynerchuk's company. So I did two episodes on it, right? So I send this woman an email back and I just said, listen, here's. Or a DM back. I said, here's the thing. You need to find out who's your number one competitor on the topic. You speak about, whoever that competitor would be, right? Do your homework and research, then go to their website, write down a list of all the places they've spoken, and then reach out and start pitching yourself as another alternative. Because those people are hiring on that topic. They're interested in it. They've already spent money, invested in it. They'll do it again. That's the easiest way. You know, start speaking, even if you have to start speaking for free. Get footage, get recommendations of your work, right? And then I said, go listen to these two podcast episodes. Because I actually get asked about this so often. I created these resources for people so they'll have tools to help them. I hope that helps. She responds back to me. That does not help. Heather, I want your contacts in the business so I can pitch myself. Who are the companies I need to call and what are their names and numbers? And I didn't respond. And here's why. That person didn't even want to go do the homework. I handed her all these resources to go help her get started. She didn't even want to do that. She wanted someone to hand her an answer. But here's the thing. I don't speak on the topics that she speaks on, right? I speak on sales and sales leadership. I speak on confidence and resilience. Her thing was all about human trafficking and all very different topics. I don't even know who her number one competitor would be. I don't even know. And I'm not going to take the time out of my day to go research and work on a plan. This lady needs. She needs to go do that work. So it was one of those moments for me, and I'm sharing it with you because so often, you know, people feel entitled or that someone should hand them something that's not how it works, right? Like there's moments in time where somebody might hand you something and it's so nice of them and that's a gift and something to be so grateful for. And I thank God in the universe every day for any blessings coming into my life. I'm open to receiving them, I'm grateful for them, but oftentimes they might not show up. And you got to get out and do the work, right? You've got to figure it out. You've got to Google who is the number one speaker in the human trafficking business or topic or do the work. I did the work for the past four years to get to where I am today in the speaking business. And then I have 25 years of speaking that I put into becoming a great speaker, right? Like I've done the work, the work has been done on the topics that I'm in and on the business that I have. You're gonna need to go, I don't have some special thing. I gave her everything I had that was general enough that could apply to her. I don't have her blueprint, she's gotta go write it. And I just wanted to remind you that, you know, there are things that will be gifts that will be handed to you in life and then there's times we just gotta get out, grind it and do the work. And I know you know this if you've been here with me for a while. I'm all about receiving this year and being open to not have to white knuckle and make things so hard. But you do still need to do the work. You still need to take action. And my three step process and overcome your villains is back beliefs. Action, knowledge. Number two step is action.

Always.

We always have to take action. Someone isn't just going to come drop millions of dollars on your desk and drop the love of your life on your desk and say, you know, fly off and live your best life forever. I don't know anyone that has a life like that. Anyone that has success, whether it be personal or business or whatever, has put work into themselves first and foremost, work into their thoughts and feelings and acknowledgement and noticing these things and research and read the books and I can't tell you how many books I read now to better myself and grow. Learning is a continual process. And then there's these moments where, you know, they say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and you'll begin to see as you go down this journey and do the work and make the mistakes that suddenly some answers will just appear for you. And those are beautiful moments. Embrace them when you get them, and then do the work when you're not getting them. So I just had to vent a little bit about that because it really took me aback that that woman thought I was gonna stop my day. Like, I'm a nonprofit. No, I'm for profit. I constantly evaluate where is my best ROI spent during my days. And it's not in helping people that I don't know on topics I know nothing about. She's better suited to go do her work, not me. So before you ask for a handout, think, is this work that I could probably be doing myself? The answer's probably gonna be yes. And make sure you are doing that work, because along the way is where you figure out your best roi. Along the way is where you make those contacts, you make those connections, and you start piecing things together for yourself. I look back four years ago and I say, I had no idea where I was going to go when I got fired. I didn't know. I didn't know I'd write a book. I didn't know I'd write a second book. I didn't know I'd have a podcast. I didn't know I'd become a board member. I didn't know I'd be a top 50 keynote speaker, 2022. I didn't know any of these things, But I took messy action and I did the work. And when you do that stuff and you believe in yourself and you're willing to fall down and get back up however many times it takes, but you find that knowing within that you will move forward, that's when the doors start opening up for you. So do the work. Believe in you. If you haven't gotten overcome your villains yet, please go get the Audible version. It's incredible. I totally endorse it. Yes, I did narrate it because I was just being me in the audition, and that's what I want for you. Just be you. Okay, so today I want to do something nice for you guys. I don't usually look at the numbers or data on my first book, confidence creator, anymore because I look at everything around Overcome your villains. Because it just came out and the other day, something I got an email about my Audible book, confidence creator, and I clicked on it, and We've sold over 4,000 copies of the Audible version of my first book already. It's just crazy to me, right? I knew my second book would do really well, but I forgot about my first book. Well, apparently when I launched my second book, kind of relaunched my first one. A lot of people didn't know I had the book Confidence Creator, and they went and bought the Audible. So today I'm giving away 20 versions of my Audible version of my first book, Confidence Creator, which I narrate and I didn't have to try out for because I was a decision maker. Hello, Love when that happens. Okay, so here's what you need to do. If you post about this show, post about creating Confidence with Heather Monahan, tag me in the post. The first 20 people that tag me, you are getting the Audible version of Confidence Creator. Just put the post up wherever you want, tag me in it, and as soon as I see it, I will send you a DM and send you a code. You can share that code if you want to gift it to someone else or you can keep it for yourself. But I promise you, Confidence Creator is a blueprint to success and building confidence, blocking and tackling and taking life head on as that most confident version of you. You will love it and I can't wait to hear what you think. So the first 20 people that post about this show share it on social media. Tag me. Once you tag me, I will send you the code and you get the free Audible version of Confidence Creator as a big thank you. Thank you for being here with me, thank you for subscribing to the show, and thank you for leaving a review. It helps so much. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me.