#281: TAP Into Your True Self With Wylie McGraw Founder Of Radical Performance Acceleration

Human beings have a hard time facing their own truth. It doesn't matter what industry you're in, doesn't matter what your background is, has nothing to do with how much money you have or your notoriety. At the end of the day, the majority of humans say they want to step outside their comfort zone, but very few actually know what that really looks or feels like. So they seek out resources that do challenge them slightly, do give them results through this outside in approach, as I like to call it, where they are problem solving from their own background and their own education and their own experience versus going into the life of the client and seeing what's really going on, where the difficulties truly come from.

I'm on this journey with me each week. When you join me, you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow.

Fasten your seat, I'm ready for my.

Close hi and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet our guest today. We're Wiley McGraw spent years as a professional baseball player, competitive bull rider, and also served as a combat veteran in three wars while leading soldiers in the most extreme situations. Today he is the founder of Radical Performance Acceleration where he works with Fortune 500 CEOs, top athletes, bestselling authors, Hollywood stars, public figures, and prominent thought leaders across industries to accelerate their personal and professional performance beyond what they had ever imagined possible before. His clients include leading personalities at Warner Brothers, the U.S. navy and Army, NBC, Whole Foods, the National Football League and Major League Baseball. Wiley has been helping high profile and prominent people optimize their performance for 10 plus years and to do this, he provides a Navy Seal like experience that reshapes them holistically. He started out working with fellow combat veterans who were struggling with PTSD while trying to transition back into civilian life. Wiley's success with them got him lots of referrals which led him to make himself more accessible to others looking for and asking about similar next level performance. Wiley, thank you so much for being here today.

Heather, it's a pleasure being here with you. Thank you for having me.

Okay, first of all, thank you for your service. I come from a family of a few different people who are service members, so thank you so much for our freedom. I so appreciate you fighting for our country.

You're welcome. Thank you for saying that. I appreciate that.

That's huge, huge deal. So I'm interested. Let's go back to you working with combat veterans to help them with ptsd. I can't. Number one, I can't Imagine something more rewarding or more needed. This is an issue that is not addressed at any type of scale. Tell me about what that meant to you and the results that you saw.

Yeah, that's a good way to start the conversation, is diving into those elements of. Where my work really just took off was the fact that being a combat veteran, coming home after three tours overseas, I saw the gaps in the performance of what the VA was offering to people like me coming home, the transitional resources that were lacking, different elements of family support groups and readiness groups, et cetera. So I felt compelled from this internal fire that I had inside about being a combat veteran. Having served with 101st Airborne Division with different units across the spectrum of the military, I found that ignite. And I drove myself towards having conversations, opening my mouth, going into places that, you know, I didn't care what the outcome was. All that mattered to me was getting these veterans an opportunity to actually heal and resolve their PTSD without it just being a pharmaceutical regiment or a talk therapy kind of approach. Again, this goes back to me recognizing a gift that I came to this world with and then uncovering and understanding that in the throes of war, coming home, I knew I had an ability to support others like me because I've been in their shoes. So I want them to know what it's like to accelerate and get to a place of peace, being able to sleep at night, being able to relate to their wives or children, their partners, sustain a job, college, whatever their goals were. So that really became my bread and butter for a little while, and it was where my heart was pretty much set. And I was creating such unbelievable results in a matter of weeks with these people. That's when the VA started to take notice and started to ask unofficially if I'd be willing to kind of take on some other veterans that don't want those therapies and those drugs and everything else that's thrown at them to get.

Results from PTSD in a matter of weeks. Sounds unbelievable. What were you doing? What is this gift? Give it to us.

Well, that's the thing, is it's putting these. It's putting people in the right environments that contain them properly, first and foremost. It's a big component in the personal development space that I find as well on my journey to that self mastery, learning more about myself when I got in military that I also saw a huge gap in where we're not providing containers that are powerful enough to challenge people. That causes a newfound level of healthier stress so that we can Erupt those unhealthier stresses that we carry around inside us. So the nature of my work with combat vets is, number one, I've already got the trust because I've been in their shoes. I've served in war with them, so they've got that connection right out of the gate. But number two is we are in a relationship together. They are in. In this container with me where I'm in their life on a daily basis for a certain amount of time, where I get to see what's really going on with them and providing them that container and pushing them and showing them the truth about the demons that plague them from war or family upbringings prior to combat service, et cetera. That's what's really allowing the acceleration to happen in the work that we did together. So it was really my ability that I came into this world with, Heather, is just to erupt this stress, these deeper demons that people carry and eradicate it through that containment that I provide them and through real world challenges as I'm starting to experience the different ways in which they are relating to life around them. So that's the nature of why we were able to create such accelerated results. But the biggest component to it was that I built. Started to build a big network of resources around me, from doctors to therapists to naturopathic medicine, all the way to chiropractic. I was creating this more holistic model that I found that human beings really need because we're not compartmentalized silos. We're these dynamic, natured entities, and we need to be able to tap into all areas of who we are and simultaneously optimize that as if we want to create that success in our lives. So that's why I was able to do it so fast with them.

It's so crazy hearing you talk. And obviously I've never faced anything like what someone at war has faced. However, I faced my own demons and my own challenges in my life. And when you were just describing what holistic healing looks like, I've spent my life building that. Right. It's so insane that we live in a world now that that isn't the solution for everybody and that people like me have to go out on their own and try to figure out, I only learned about a chiropractor a couple of years ago. Why wasn't that something that discussed when I was younger and was an athlete and, you know, why were people sharing all this information? How did you know that you were qualified to take something like this on? Coming from a Background of professional baseball and bull riding?

Well, that's the thing is understanding number one qualification should be viewed from the results you get, not from some studies or formal education. Because there are, there are many of educated, there are millions of educated derelicts out there, have Ivy League degrees, et cetera. So for me I would just say to qualify, really it comes back to what kind of results do you provide other people? And if you're experiencing those consistently, I think that would be the ultimate qualifier for anyone. I'd rather work with someone who's providing me an atmosphere, a relationship and the results that I need for who I am, rather than trying to find someone who's got all the pedigree and initials behind their name, but can't seem to solve whatever the simplest problems I might be facing with, first and foremost that's where I would go. The other part of it is being trained by professional athletes. Growing up, being in that mindset, learning how to discipline, focus, commitment, translating that into the competitive bull riding world. When I walked away from baseball because of the expectations of others, the pressures from my father had to be perfect no matter what to be that star pitcher. Competitive bull riding really ignited that more holistic nature of who I was. It introduced me to that warrior that it was inside me that was being suppressed by family dynamics and the stress of being perfect in baseball. I carried those elements with me into the military. I became a leader in the military, I went to war and I recognized this is why I experienced as a kid all of this stress that people would bring to me. This is why wherever I went, people were erupting around me. It makes sense now. So now I want to pursue what this innate ability is by going down through my own path of growth, holistic healing and discovering that as I tapped into different areas of life, different types of resources, I found my own performance accelerating. Which is why then I turned around and recognized it's time for me to build something to provide that type of environment for people that are looking for the same thing. Finding like minded people that want to optimize their lives because the byproducts of that will be success in business and success in relationships, et cetera.

So there wasn't a blueprint for this. Obviously you were, you're creating this as you go, which could not have been easy. What did those steps look like?

Yeah, that's. I don't even remember being steps. I think it was just this unbelievable, you know, dynamic movement through the creative process of learning how to build something around me and not necessarily being you're right, no blueprint. I didn't study someone else's philosophies. I didn't go to school to get my degrees for this business. I did all those little elements for my own personal desires, but really was just taking this gift, taking this innate ability to be an eruptor, recognizing that, hell, I'm a demon slayer. I meant I'm built to come into this world to challenge and put go into the trenches with people, to battle through that with them along their side. I took the philosophies and elements of military and sports along with me and just started to create an environment where I was meeting the right people. I was going to events, I was going to parties, I was being invited to conferences and masterminds. Never needed a website, never needed a business card. I never needed media or PR. I did that for 12 years before the pandemic hit. Now I've got the digital stuff coming out. But reality was it was just passionately staying connected to the beacon that we had, that I had about getting out there and really optimizing leaders. Because I saw that they're the ones that are infecting all of us. They're the ones that have the biggest impact on our policies, our laws, our rules, how things are operating in society as a whole. And to me, I recognize that, the connection there. So I just opened my mouth and started to go meet people and tell them. This is why I see the gap. This is what needs to have happen. And people just started to lean into that and recognize. I want to know what you can.

Do for me too when you want more. Start your business with a Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business all in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years. They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the U S with over 1500 corporate guides. Real people who know your local laws and can help you in your business every step of the way. Build your business identity fast with Northwest registered Agent and get access to thousands of free resources, forms and step by step guides without even creating an account. Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer, drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills of sale and more all at no cost. Northwest is your one stop business resource. Learn how to build a professional website, what annual filings your business needs to stay in good standing and simple explanations of complicated business laws don't wait. Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business Identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com confidence free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered agent@www.northwestregisteredagent.com confidence free. It's that time of year again. Everyone knows that the holidays can become overwhelming quickly, so the sooner that you get things done, the better. For both shoppers and businesses, the best time to score great deals during the holidays is Black Friday Cyber Monday Weekend. Whether you're an established business or someone who is going to experience their first Black Friday Cyber Monday this year, you know that the most important thing you need is a platform that can handle everything that's about to be thrown at you. You don't want to find out that your inventory's off as orders keep coming in, or that your point of sale system cannot keep up with the requests, many from new customers who are buying your products for the first time. You need to make sure that your tools and platform are ready for anything that comes your way during the busiest weekend of the year, and that's why you need Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names to entrepreneurs who will be particip participating in their first Black Friday Cyber Monday this year, including your girl right here. With creating confidence in everything that we put through Shopify, the one platform that manages it all, you don't have time to spend hours pouring over every little detail. Me neither. Shopify has thousands of templates and tools to help streamline website creation, making sure that your site isn't just aesthetically pleasing but functional at the same time. Accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product description pages, headlines and even enhance your product photography to help increase your reach during the busiest time of year. You can also stress less knowing that Shopify's award winning customer support teams on standby 24. 7 to help with any issues that arise, allowing you to get back to business as fast as possible this Black Friday. Join the thousands of new entrepreneurs hearing for the first time with Shopify. Sign up for your free trial today@shopify.com monahan that's shopify.commonahan go to shopify.com monahan and make this Black Friday one to remember.

What did that transition look like? How how did it go those first few times that you started working with people outside of Combat?

It was when I was working with the veterans. It's interesting that, how to say, this is when I accepted that I possessed this certain energy or essence about me, and I just allowed it to be. When I met my. My now business partner of 14 years, who she says, this is exactly the type of fires you're going to be fighting. And I thought, well, that's interesting. It feels right. That's the veil she pulled back. She's like, you're meant to go this direction. This is the power you carry with you. My first client showed up. A veteran just showed up and said, hey, I want to work with you. Help me. I want to know what it's like to be confident. I see you walking around, how you carry yourself. I see the happiness in your face. Can you show me what that's supposed to look like? And it just became this word of mouth thing where, hey, what's going on with you? Your life is completely different. What are you doing? And people are like, you've got to meet this guy that I'm working with. He's not a coach. Whatever we're doing is nowhere near the definition of a consultant, but it's radical, it's different, it's challenging, it's very intense, and it sometimes pisses you off. But at the end of the day, I'm getting results every single day and I'm starting to experience these changes that I want. So that's where the referral came from, where they were talking to the doctors, they were talking to the friends that were lawyers. And eventually I had a force recon guy that I was working with who said, I have a good friend of mine who plays professional baseball. He noticed my life transformed. Wants to know if you'll sit down with him and his agent. Have a conversation about how you can support him too, because he's going through the ringer right now. And then I just got passed into those industries and then it just became this popcorn effect.

And you're working with people across so many different industry situations. Are you seeing common threads or common issues that come up more than not?

Yes. Human beings have a hard time facing their own truth. It doesn't matter what industry you're in, doesn't matter what your background is, has nothing to do with how much money you have or your notoriety. At the end of the day, the majority of humans say they want to step outside their comfort zone, but very few actually know what that really looks or feels like. So they seek out resources that do challenge them slightly, do give them results through this outside in approach, as I like to call it, where they are problem solving from their own background, in their own education and their own experience, versus going into the life of the client and seeing what's really going on, where the difficulties truly come from. So what ends up happening here is that these leaders across these industries are in control of their resources. And my philosophy and how I look at it is the only way you're actually going to transform a human being because of the psyche and the ego that we possess is when they are absolutely out of control with the resource that's challenging them. They're absolutely vulnerable in a way they cannot close down on and hold on to. They have to surrender into those elements. And most people don't want to do that. So I've seen that time and time again. From Wall street to Hollywood, they're all humans that are just willing to suppress their stress, cope with life and override everything so that they can just consistently build a bank account. And most of them have built their empires on the back of chaos and trauma and have never done anything to face those demons and eradicate them.

I feel like that's the majority of people I know.

It's human nature, unfortunately.

Yeah. And it's our society too, right? I mean society's feeding into you that you're not supposed to burden other people with what your truths are. How are you doing? I'm fine. How are you? Everything very superficial. And everyone's supposed to kill themselves for work and that's just expected.

Well, then they look at it this way, is it's weakness. You know, that's the big thing, especially in the. When it comes to men. But I understand that there are women out there that unfortunately were infected by that. That mindset as well is that emotions equate to weakness, especially in a corporate job. I know your background as well. You know that very intimately. It's like you got to understand that we have all of these components of who we are for a reason. And the idea that we should surgically remove them through society's ideas of what it means to be successful is why people are very unhappy and unfulfilled. Why they suffer in silence and why we constantly have divisiveness in our society as a whole. And to me it's like that's the problem. But again, everybody wants the shiny feel good idea to personal growth and transformation. Transformation is ugly, it's destructive, and it happens in the dark corners. It will never happen. When you go to a concert like event or if you go over here and buy A program online. Not to say they don't have benefits and they don't create results, but if you're truly looking to be the best version of yourself, you really want to experience that grounded peace with your successes and feel that freedom that comes along with it and be able to manage and utilize stress in your life as an asset for you. It's a completely different mindset altogether. And you have to be willing to jump into those unknowns that you can't control. And that's the biggest piece that's missing.

When you were talking about women being conditioned this way too. Having been in corporate America for a very long time and getting to the level at which I was, you know, it was conditioned. There's no crying in baseball, right? And I just say that that was, you know, a joke that I used to always say. But there was no crying at work. And I learned early on because I cried once when I was a young leader. Never let them see you sweat. Never, you know, put this armor up around you, you know, pull the Zeiss and always know the answer. So how do you deal with someone like that? Let' me for an example. I was making a lot of money. I made it to this proverbial height of your career that you want it to be at. Everything on paper looks like it should be perfect. But I was not happy. I was not fulfilled. But I was not willing to make a jump to see what was out in the unknown. Where do you go with someone like that?

That's because you got used to carrying that rucksack, and I'll use a military terminology here with that, when you get used to carrying, that kind of weight becomes normalized, you actually don't feel it the way you first felt it anymore. So it's in those pivotal moments when someone is in your position that starts to feel the weight of that, it behooves them to take a moment to reflect. Okay, clearly me stepping into this role or this position or this industry is going to put a lot on my plate and probably a lot more than I'm willing to actually carry or I don't, you know, I'm not ready to carry. If you don't take that moment to self reflect, you become accustomed to that weight of that rucksack. And so if somebody comes up behind you, and I'll give you an example like we did in the military, I took a rucksack off one of my guys once who had carried after 32 plus miles. We were, you know, on foot during an operation. And when I went to take it off. He screamed, and it was the pain that he had in his shoulders from carrying it. So he was so used, he said, put it back on, please. So I put it back on him, and he's like, I'm good. And he's laid down with it. That analogy says everything about especially the corporate mindset is carry the weight, get used to it, suck it up, and deal with it. And at the end of the day, what ends up happening is you start to deteriorate from the inside out. And then what you do is you chase relief. You look for things to create coping. I've seen people use yoga as a coping tool, meditation as a coping tool, or you got all the way to the extremes of the alcohol industry, the entertainment industry. These are all forms of escapism. What ends up happening is nobody's willing to say the harsh things to do. The harsh stuff put people in the. In the right containers that squeeze them the right way so they can stop operating at a, like, asymmetrical fraction of who they really are and get to a place of balance. But again, it takes people willing to do that to change the culture, especially in a corporate job or a business like that.

Yeah, that is a huge, huge undertaking. I mean, I just. I can't tell you how many people that I know still back from corporate America that are still carrying that weight, that don't know it because they're still in it. And it's so bizarre that today, five years after I got fired, I'm so grateful I got fired, because I don't know that I would have had the foresight or ability to make that leap, which then allowed me to understand what my purpose and passion were, which allowed me to let go of this mask that I was wearing that allowed me to transition into a more real version of myself, which has brought peace into my life, joy into my life, things that. So I don't have to shop as much. Right. Like all these things, like you were saying, that we create to drive our. Fill a void or distract ourselves or whatever it may be, and we're not truly aware that we're doing it when we're knee deep in it. So do you have moments with people where they. I mean, they must look at you with the things that you're trying to get their attention with and want to kill you?

Oh, well, you know what? That's. If. If I'm not in a fight with my clients, I'm not doing my job. So at the end of the day, one of the things. And I Want to touch on something you just said too? It's like you had literally the universe, God, whatever, fired you because you need you. Your soul was dying to get somewhere else. You were already built for something else. Corporate's kind of like, I have a good friend of mine who's America's manager for a big multi billion dollar company and runs a team and he's like, they want to promote me and I don't know if I want to take it because I can feel all the pressures that come along with that. And he's got a relationship, he likes to play. You needed that yourself. Something extreme had to happen to redirect you. That's the only way you could transform to get to where you want to go. An extreme situation. So that's what I just wanted to touch on that. But to go back to what your question was around my clients is one of the biggest philosophies that I live by, that I always have, but I truly embody in my work is you only truly know someone when you fight them. That's when the real character is revealed. And Anne Frank was the one that said that. It's been used in like the Matrix movies as well. But for me, it's really a very deep truth that when you fight someone, you get the most vulnerable version of who they are. You get their real character, you get the truth, the actual ugly truth, not the truth that they're presenting to you. So in my relationships with my clients, because it's not a program, what I do is I'm in a dynamic with them. I integrate into their lives with them, I live with them, travel with them. And every aspect of their lives is completely optimized from the inside out. So if I'm not in a battle with them, I'm failing at my work. So at the end of the day, they're going to hate me. And I just met up with a former client of mine the other day when I was on a trip a few years ago, public figure guy. And he goes, you know what I realized all these years later? He's like, every single time I was feeling like I hated you, I was feeling this pain inside. It was my pain that you were helping me get out. It was my terror, it was my fears. Even though I've built multi million dollar 100 million dollar businesses, et cetera. He goes, I could not find peace and satisfaction. And it was because I carried all of these things that no one else would ever go after. My therapist wouldn't touch, my coaches wouldn't look at and you came after me and I hated you the whole process. But I knew you were here for a reason. So it's that dynamic where they can feel into who I am. They intuitively know I'm the safe, trusting place, but I am no holds barred and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get them to where they want to go. And that's why I'm able to confront these powerful people and get them the results in a very fast manner is because I battle them and fight them.

It's so interesting because I was a psychology major in college and psychology or traditional therapy is such a slow burn model. Years and years and years you can go. And again, nothing against traditional therapy. And I think people should do whatever works for them. I don't judge. But you know, it's just interesting to me later on in my life to be aware of so many different options that are out there and available to people now that we don't promote or shine a light on and give people that chance to say yes, therapies, it can be a great solution for you. But these other things are options too. What can you do? Or I would imagine most people don't know about the type of work that you do.

Well, that's the thing is they don't. And everything that I have done up to the pandemic starting was all behind the scenes, in the shadows. I felt good there. I thought that's where I belonged. I was going to be passed along. I was going to work with very specific types of prominent people, leaders that have impact in their industries. Because that's my job. That's how I was built. Impact the leaders, the masses naturally can grow in a more positive manner. But the pandemic hit and people were saying, hey, look, I have no idea how to talk about what you do. There are people. I had a PR gal friend of mine, she's like Wiley, she's a movie writer for Lifetime. She's like, look, you need to get out and talk about your work. Because there are people I know in my industry that don't even know you exist but have been looking for something similar. And that's the nature of why we're now out into this more digital space and talking about the work. But it comes back to the fact that leaders need. It's the capacity that they possess. Like you're a successful person, you have a different capacity versus someone who's starting out down here as a small business or working at Chipotle. We're all at different levels of Capacity. So it's meeting the capacity with the right type of work, the right type of environment that matters, that matches who the person is in their ability to perform at the level they are. When you have a CEO of a Fortune 500 company trying to hire a regular coach that doesn't match, because that coach is not going to be able to stretch that CEO's capacity based on who he is and or she is and how they perform to get to where they are. So it's about finding the right resources, which is why it's so prevalent today that people are constantly in those slow burn therapy sessions and coaching programs and spending more money and never really kind of get where they want to go is because it's not matching them and their capacity. And to me, it's like you've got to be willing to find the things that may scare the crap out of you and hire those things to do that kind of work.

You know, for me, it goes back to being curious too, and always being a constant learner that you want to be listening to a podcast like this one or reading the book or watching the TEDx talk, there's so much overwhelming amount of information out there that what you need is getting lost in those cracks. And if you aren't constantly asking and inquiring and trying to find out more, you will never get access to that solution that already. I'm sure your solution is the solution for people that are listening right now, but they had no idea about it before.

Right. And I want to add something you just said to it. I think it's important here, is that knowledge, and this is part of like even the, some of the stoics that I've studied over the years is knowledge without application is purposeless. It's pointless. And people will read and they will over consume books and seminars and podcasts, and it's great. You're building up a vast library of knowledge in your mind. Phenomenal. But those things are just, I would say they're assets to transformation. They don't actually stimulate real internal transformation. You need challenges that are outside of your control. You need to be able to embrace the fear of the unknown and yield to that and recognize that when those elements are showing up, the books and the seminars all have added value to your growth. But what people do is they forget this part over here, which is the challenge that the stuff that's intense and scary often, and they just want to stay over here with the things that, you know, stimulate the mind, maybe make them feel like things are kind of Shifting and they do. But again, when you want something more, it's going to require a completely different approach. Yes. And I'm glad that we're talking right now. I want people to understand that this kind of work is available to leaders and people in these positions have influence and power because you need to be at the top of your game personally and professionally. Together. They are not mutually exclusive. I worked with a hedge fund private wealth team where they were like thinking my, my personal life gets shut off at the door when I walk through work. I'm like, you're out of your mind. That's why you guys are failing right now. That's why you're about to lose your jobs. You guys are making three, four or five hundred grand a year in salaries and you guys are literally swinging in the red the entire time and panicking. But you think your personal life does not affect your professional life. And that is absolutely another thing in our society, Heather, that is completely false. You got to recognize that they go together and that when you optimize your life, if you're listening to this, you personally affects how you operate professionally. The byproducts you create then become exponential when you look at your life first and recognize you need to become a better version of yourself.

As the air turns crisp and the holidays draw near, comfort becomes the best gift of all. Quince delivers layers that last. Sweaters, outerwear and everyday essentials that feel luxurious, look timeless and make holiday dressing and gifting effortless. Quince has it all. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters made for everyday wear. Denim that never goes out of style. Silk tops and skirts that add polish and outerwear. Built to take on the season. Perfect for gifting or upgrading your own wardrobe. Honestly, Quince Italian wool coats are at the top of my list. The cuts feel designer and the quality rivals high end brands, but without the high end markup. By working directly with ethical top tier factories, Quince skips the middleman and offers prices 50% less than similar brands. I mean, if you want to look like you are wearing the highest end clothing out there without those huge price tags, Quince is the answer. Literally, there's something for every single person on your list. The Mongolian cashmere sweater is the softest sweater I have and it is my go to every day. If you want to elevate your look without paying more, Quince is the answer. Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last. From quints perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to quince.com confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com confidence to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com confidence if you're like me, you're always looking for ways to feel stronger in your workouts, recover faster from working out, have more energy during your day and preserve your health, mobility and strength as we get older. And Mitopure Timeline is giving me that life and it's happening right now and I want it to happen for you too. This supplement really can help you because it supports your health at the Fitness foundation by encouraging cellular renewal. Mitopure is a precise dose of the rare postbiotic Urolithin A. It works by promoting an essential cellular cleanup process that clears out dysfunctional mitochondria AKA your cell's battery packs. Mitopure is the only Urolithin A supplement on the market clinically proven to target the effects of age related cellular decline.

Hello.

With regular use you are going to see and feel the difference in the form of improved energy levels, better workouts, faster recovery, more endurance, all of which are helping you achieve your New Year's goals and making you feel your best. PS might appear as shown to deliver double digit increases in muscle strength endurance without a change in exercise. For the win, Cellular health is a foundation of well being and longevity. Mito Pure recharges your cells supporting any goals by helping all of your system work better. I'm excited to share that you can now get 20 off your first timeline purchase. There's never been a better time to experience the benefits of Mitopure. Use my code Confidence at checkout. To receive 20% off today go to timeline.com confidence that's T I M E L I N E.com confidence.

I remember when I first graduated college, my first decade in business saying all my friends were dating and getting engaged and I remember saying no link into work like focus 100 on work Heather make a name for this is your time right? And I did. I went on and I did. I did it really really well. But I look back on that now after last weekend being with my friends of 30 plus years and so many of them are with their spouses for 20 plus years that they dated and then married during that time that I was like locking in only business. Only business. And it was something that I thought that was a fine, you know. I the result, the results show that I was doing great. However, in the long run it definitely didn't. It made it much more difficult for my whole life in the long run. Although I thought in that short run it was the right decision.

Yes. And I love that you said that, because I want to add something into, Parlay into that message is success. People keep asking me when I run into them is you talk about as you climb the ladder of success, your stress goes up with you, but it should not. It should be going down the other way. And they say, how is that possible? Because when you have more responsibility, when you make more money, stress is naturally going to grow. And I said, that's the problem. That's the mindset right there, is what's the point of success when you're stressed out? What's the point of a bank account and nice material things when you hate yourself at night, when you go to bed, when you can't sleep well, when you're fried, when you're miserable, when you are drinking to deal with life, when you don't get to spend time with your friends as much as you want to, when you don't get to experience balance, what's the point of success? Success should be defined by how well you live your life and recognizing that that will power you and fuel your ability to make more money and have better notoriety and grow companies. But we're doing it backwards, especially in corporate America. It's all. That's the mindset, right? It's all about past clients and those big businesses, and they thought the same thing. I got to hustle and grind and I got to sacrifice my health, my relationships, my sanity, because I've got to grow the bottom line. Quarter reports coming in and the companies tell me I got to show up, I got to front load all my P and L and my balance sheets. I got to get these clients handled. I can invest more money here. And then they go home wondering why they're not living and feeling peace in their life. Like, what's the point of that? What is truly, what's the point of success if your stress is just going to join you? To me, it's unacceptable.

Well, it is commonplace, right? I agree with you. It's not the way to be. But it's challenging when that's what you know to say, okay, now I want to transition because now fear comes into, well, this what, that's what made me successful before then. How do I balance it? And what does that look like? But one thing I will say to what you just described, because I very much was living my life like that in corporate America, is Once I got fired, I became so much more, a more creative version of myself, which I did it. I didn't know that existed. Right. But that was something that just happened organically because I was just all of a sudden without all of those external forces on me, like you said, the piano and the stock price and like all this, it was so much. I couldn't think, I didn't have time to think. I just had time to do. And I had done it for so long, I could just go do it and get the results. But now that I was sitting on a couch, suddenly ideas started coming to me that I had never had before. And I thought, this is so bizarre. I always attribute it only to. I used to attribute it only to being around a negative person that was blocking a lot of opportunity for me. But then part of it also is like what you're saying, giving yourself the time to think, giving yourself moments of not constantly doing, doing, doing so that you can reflect on what else could possibly come to you or what idea could come to you.

Right. And one of the biggest philosophies with that is lead in leadership, is sometimes it actually behooves us to take a step back. Leaders do it in the military all the time. We don't go, go, go non stop because if we did, number one, we'd become tunnel vision and we actually could get people killed. Number two, it'd burn us out and burn our soldiers out, our marines or our seals, whatever. So a lot of SEAL commanders talk about this. One of the military people I talk about it with my team is sometimes taking that step back gives you a bigger sight picture to see really what's going on so that you can re approach it from a different place, take a deep breath, have a different mindset, shift your ideas, shift your ability to tap into that creative side like you just talked about. You were sitting there on the couch and having that space. You took a step back. What ended up happening was it opened you up and actually it unleashed that creative side of you that had been suppressed by this goal driven organization for shareholders or stockholders. Get it done no matter what. I don't care what you got to do. Work 80 hours a week plus make the money. And all you had was your creative side was focused only on that. You didn't get to explore that holistic side of Heather, which is why you experience that unleashing when you just had that space. It's powerful when you even take a moment as a leader in any company, even if you're the corporate Drone right now and take a step back, breathe, recognize. You're not going to lose track, you're not going to lose momentum if you do that. But it will start to shift just that internal side of you so you can become more creative in your corporate job or in your business or in your profession. It's amazing when we give ourselves just that space for a brief moment, how much creativity can come. Which is why when I work with these leaders, it's the same aspect. I pull them out of the chaos, and it's amazing what they start to see and recognize.

Oh, my gosh. A good analogy for that with chaos, I just went through it recently, is I just moved for the first time in 17 years. And when you live somewhere for 17 years and I'm not the most disciplined person with organization, this whole concept of outer order, inner calm. I suddenly had to get my house completely clean and organized and get rid of as much old, you know, as I could because the realtor said, this is what I need you to do. And upon doing that, it was such an amazing feeling. Letting go of so much that didn't serve me, that I didn't need. That was just clutch, cluttering up space. And again, allowing for more creativity, allowing for space for you to think it was a really powerful physical event that occurred that anyone can implement in their life.

Right? And you had that somatic release, too. Your body was like, wow, this is what it's supposed to feel like when I actually have space to breathe and get creative and experience life. And it's going back to a thought you just mentioned a moment ago is it's very hard transition for people in your industry to step out and kind of get into that more holistic living and get to a place of balance is because of the fear that shows up. But that's okay. You got to recognize if fear shows up when you want to get out of that. Which I had a client that did do that. He left after 15 years managing a billion dollars in assets for a Fortune 100 company. And he got scared. He jumped into the world of being a coach. But what he realized as we started working together, that the fear was telling me this is where real change is happening. And it's telling me I had too much of my identity tied into the job I was doing rather than being me working this amazing job. It's just that such a finite way to shift the mindset where stop attaching yourself to what you're doing and recognize you're a human being, you are the power source for the work you're doing. When you can shift that a little bit, it starts to create a little bit more resolve within you and your ability to then make massive life changes that are very scary for you.

So you see fear as that means you're on the right track.

I look at this this way, and in my experiences from being in the sports world, especially in the bull riding world, that was a big part life, huge transformation for me and my age was that fear is an inherent part of who we are as human beings. This idea that we could get rid of it is a fallacy. We can't. We might be able to quiet it down, we might be able to set it aside, but fear is inherently part of who we are as humans. It tells us we're facing something challenging, scary, different, transformational. Here's where real change is going to happen for you. When those feelings come up, that's fear. Scared of having to, you know, going out and speaking in public, asking for the raise, that's telling you you should do it anyway. What I have discovered and what I have learned to create with the work that I do is giving people the permission to learn how to yield. Like driving on ramp to a highway, yielding to the fear allows you to then utilize that fear as an asset for you to step into that challenging moment that's presenting itself. When you can embrace that fear and you can take it with you and say, you know what, you're here for a reason. I get it, and I'm still going to go execute on this. That fear will then take a. It'll take a seat, it will dissipate, but it will never go anywhere. And then when you step into that next big one, you will feel it come up again. You realize, oh, my goodness, this is a good thing for me. I am learning how to be comfortable in the discomfort of fear showing up. That means I'm on the right path. And then when I get to that place where I can respect that part of me, then I know what peace is supposed to actually look and feel like. It's amazing how that works. But it's right through that darkness that everybody wants to avoid. That's where we find those elements that we're looking for, that we're searching for as these seekers as human beings.

Oh, my gosh, that's so true. And the more you do it, like anything, the easier it begins to get. And you start to feel, oh, I've already seen this movie. I know I'm actually going to survive this. I don't know exactly what's going to happen, but I'm going to be okay. And when you start getting to that place, like you said, it's never easy. Just today I was interviewing someone who had. Has been a pastor and continues to be a pastor, but is one of the top keynote speakers in our country right now. And when we got off air and shut down, he said, heather, tell me how I can help you. And I said, oh, you know, I'm good. I didn't have any specific ask I wanted from him. And he said, have you ever thought of preaching, you know, in a church? And immediately my heart got so incredibly. I, I, you know, I wasn't. This wasn't something I felt confident in or something that I felt was, you know, expected for me. So fear came in immediately. But this time when I felt it, I said, you know what? That sounds incredible to me. Can you help take me down that path and see what that looks like? Because I knew it. If I leaned away, I'm going to shrink back and become a less, a lesser version of myself. But if I'm feeling fear and I lean into it, I'll figure something out along that way, right?

And you never know what's going to happen with that. You might go to his church, let's say, and speak in front of his congregation. And what you say might shift some of the people that are in that audience that are connected to these people. It's amazing the byproduct that can happen when you just step into that. He's not saying, hey, convert to this and do this. He's saying, just come speak, come preach, because you got a great voice, you're commanding. You know exactly how to keep a dialogue running. So come do that. You never know whose life you're going to change doing that. And then the next thing you know, you're actually being asked to come do these unbelievable events for these other organizations. So it's amazing that we call it a seed. You got to plant that seed and let it grow. But for me, it's just embracing and yielding to the fear of the unknown, like you did. You're like, I'm going to just say yes doesn't mean it's necessarily going to manifest. I may not actually go do that, but if I can just say yes to these moments where my capacity then stretches, opens up more doors for me as this natural, it's almost effortless byproduct. People don't realize that when we stretch our capacity through embracing those moments internally, energetically, physically, mentally, emotionally, like we do when we go to boot camp and specialty training to become elite soldiers is things actually start to show up for us without us really having to do so much extra work to make those things happen. Not saying that you don't have to actually create certain situations for you to have the conversations and relationships and business, but you start to notice like, oh, wow, why did that person show up the way they did in that moment that I said those things to these people? Great, let me embrace that now. Let me. You start to create this unbelievable flowering effect of your own success. And it's just a beautiful way to live your life because you can still stay in that place of balance and peace and happiness while you're doing it.

Oh, I'm so here for this. But Wiley, you continue to step into the unknown and continue to create. Now, with wise words and Whiskey with Wiley, your new podcast, tell us about it.

Yeah, it just launched today actually. That's why it's pretty exciting, I got to tell you. A ton of moving parts, but it's been a passion project that we've been talking about for the better part of half a decade. And everywhere I've gone people say, you know what, I want to see the side of Wiley that's kickback likes his scotch. You know, I'm a big single malt scotch guy myself, but I do like good, just really good whiskeys all around and I want to have low key conversations on all things high performance without it being such a hustle and grind type of atmosphere. And it was, it's taken me away from the intensity of my demon slaying work that I do and creating this atmosphere where people to kick off their shoes, pour a glass, hang out with us and just listen to a casual conversation with people that are really cool, that got great insights, provide these wise words for more optimal life. And that's why we decided to go ahead and execute on it. And today has been the magic day and it's unbelievable. But we're doing a whiskey giveaway as well for people to subscribe to the show. They can jump into that giveaway. It's a bottle of premium whiskey with a rocks glass set as well. So it'd be pretty cool to see what turns out from this. I'm excited.

So where can everybody get your podcast and where can they find you?

It's launched on Apple Podcast, Spotify and Stitcher. Those are the three places I know. Wileymcgraw.com I have a pop up there where they can jump into the giveaway and they can sign up for that whiskey giveaway. We might be doing that, actually monthly for a little while just to kind of entice more people to come hang out with us and have great conversations. So those are the places they can go.

Who doesn't want to hang out for wise words and whiskey? Wiley, thank you so much for all the work you're doing. And please keep it up. The world needs it.

Thank you, Heather. I appreciate it.

All right, guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

Come on this journey with me.