#308: Answering Your Burning Questions With Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Hi and welcome back. So one of my favorite things has always been answering your questions and you've asked some great ones and I've answered them for you here today on the show. This is a special episode, just brief for you. I'm answering your questions and I want to highlight some of the best and my most favorite questions that you've asked me in this very special episode today. Now, I want you to know people have a lot of questions and they're not always getting answered. So if you want to get more of your questions answered by your girl right here, you need to join my Elite Mastermind. I'm only allowing 20 people in. It's a one year commitment. It's ride or die with the team of your life. You if you have major goals for yourself this year. If you want to be landing big stages and taking your brand and exploding it to the next level, I am going to give you the blueprint exactly how I did it five years ago when I got fired. I would have done anything to have access to this information five years ago, unfortunately, I had to figure it out on my own. But you, my friend, do not have to. So go to the show notes in the links below you will see apply for the Mastermind. Or you can go to my website, heather monahan.com and apply for the Elite Mastermind. I would love to hear what you're working on and love to find out if this is a fit for you. Now back to the show. Meet a different guest each week. Okay, here's the first one. Hey, Heather, hope you're well. I struggle to sell myself and my business. How can I overcome this and be more positive in who I am and what I have to offer? So typically, my experience, when people don't want to, quote, unquote, sell themselves and their business, it goes back to a more fundamental insecurity, right? They feel bad trying to promote themselves because maybe they don't feel promotable. If you don't feel great about you, you don't want to shine your light and showcase yourself. So I would say my first step or action step to someone in this situation is why do you not feel that way? Right? You need to ask yourself the question, what? Why is it you don't feel comfortable doing that because you don't feel a value. And if that's the case, that's not true. Right. So we need to work on your confidence and start writing down what are some of the things that you feel proud of? What things have you done that you know you shot out to do that you were able to accomplish? Start celebrating your wins. Start evaluating the people you're spending your time with. Maybe you need to fire some people in your life and start pulling in more positive, supportive people to help stretch you to grow. Start taking steps to. If you haven't read my book yet, Confidence Creator, now is a great time. It'll give you a roadmap on how to build your confidence. Because the only reason I can imagine someone doesn't want to highlight themselves, highlight their products and services because they're not really feeling good about themselves. So that's my advice there.

Okay.

I wanted your advice. I know your time is valuable. Oh, thank you. So I deeply appreciate it. Briefly, I'm a mom of two who was laid off from a bank 10 years ago after being an employee there for 10 years. That's. That hurts. I was seven months pregnant at the time. They had a reduction in staff and my boss was the first to go. I have been home since life happens. Parents were ill, two young kids. I truly devoted myself to all this. I feel so lost now because I've lost my way. I don't want to go back to banking. And I've been in search of my passion, my dream, if you will. I cannot seem to grasp what that is. I'm a very hard worker. I'm dedicated, I'm loyal. I would press hard if I only knew what it is that I should be doing and what fulfills me, what I could be good at. Just can't seem to find it. I cry and pray all the time. Oh my gosh, my heart is breaking. Okay, here's the thing. First of all, it sounds like a confidence issue first and foremost. So I would make the commitment to create confidence in your life. Just like losing weight, right? Like I need to do right now. If you want to say I'm going to lose five pounds, then we need to get on the scale. We need to give ourself a timeline. We need to lay out a 30 day plan. Do that with your confidence. I walk you through how to do that on my free ebook on my website, heathermonahan.com or or in my actual book, Confidence Creator. So, you know, sign up for my free accountability partner program for 30 days. You'll get an email from me directing you on how to create confidence in your life. Let's get Going on that one, first and foremost. Next thing, this is interesting. I won an award a couple years ago and it was called Unique Value Proposition Award, or, I don't know, something like that. And I thought, what is unique about me? I don't know. And I was serious. I didn't know. So I decided to send an email to 10 people in my life, some personal friends, some work friends, and ask them, hey, I just won this award and I'm trying to figure something out, what is unique or valuable about me that's different, that you can help me to understand, to see through your eyes. And I got back the most beautiful emails from people telling me what was special and different about me. And I didn't know people saw me that way. So I would say reach out to 10 special people in your life, get their feedback, see yourself through their lens, and you're going to learn real quickly some superpowers that you have that you didn't see because it happens to all of us. I remember a woman I worked with didn't see any value in herself and she called me and said, I just, there's no special anything in me. There's no unique anything. And I said, wait a minute, is this the person that I send any type of communication that I have to first? And it looks like trash when I send it to you. And you make it beautiful and gorgeous and fantastic in minutes. She's an editor and she was so talented and she said, oh, yeah, that's me. But anyone can do that. No, not anyone can do that. I can't do that. That's why you are priceless to me. And you are. Your superpowers are so different than mine. And I can't go out to market into the world without your help, just like I can't write my book without the editor.

Right.

So you need to ask other people sometimes how they see your value because you just might be taking it for granted. I certainly was, and I'm sure you probably are too. So definitely get some of that feedback. Tap some people in your life, ask them what's valuable and special and unique about you, because we should all be celebrating what that special trait is. Another quick story for you. A good friend of mine's been a lawyer for a long time, wasn't finding joy and passion in her life, but needs to pay her bills. We all know the drill. And she started doing pro bono work in the fashion industry because that was her calling. That's what she loved. And she wanted to incorporate passion in her job somehow. She went all in on that three years ago and working for free again, pro bono work. But that led her to meet a lot of people in the fashion industry, which led her to opportunities which ultimately led her to leaving that law firm that she was at and jumping to a new law firm and launching a fashion law business which has directly incorporated her passion with her mission, with her income, with her livelihood. She's living her dream now. Was it easy? No. She had to go through that time where she was doing it for free and it was a lot of hard work and a lot of naysayers. But to find your passion, sometimes you have to create it and oftentimes people will tell you it's not possible. It's on you to focus on the solutions and move through and over the obstacles. If success was easy, everybody would have it. So get committed to creating your confidence. Get committed to finding your purpose and passion. Remember what it was that you loved to do when you were a little kid and start chasing that now. The more you spend time doing it, the stronger you will get.

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So I've been getting a lot of questions around getting fired. How to stay positive. Even if you aren't fired, how do you continue to do business? Here's the thing. The more we immerse ourselves and watching the news and being around negative people, we will clearly be negative. So fire the villains right now might look a little different. And that may mean you need to get some space from people that you're spending time with. But spending time with like minded positive people that are looking for the bright side, that are looking for optimism and are looking to find ways to pivot. That's how you will change your mindset and change your future. There's just as much potential looking forward. Things are uncertain. They could be uncertain and negative or uncertain and positive. I believe that because things are uncertain, there's so much opportunity out there and I continue to focus on that. And then when I get stuck, I get on my peloton and I just let ideas come into my head and brainstorm and then I just take chances and move fast because speed to market is critical. Right now there are so many people creating content online, so many people posting online. If you're not doing that, why not now is the time to jump in. Now's the time to elevate your personal brand or create one if you don't already have one. Now is the time to put yourself first. Now is the time to curate the people that you spend time with. You know, now is that time, and I'm completely revamping my business. I have no idea if I'm doing it correctly. I'm sure I'm making mistakes, but it's about going all in and taking chances. And I remember when I first got fired a couple of years ago, I was petrified. I was sad, and it's okay to feel that way. I let myself feel sad for a day, and then I pick myself up and say, okay, now it's time to move, move on. I had a cry, I felt upset. But here we go again. You know, constant change is. The constant change will always continue. And the more we embrace it and jump ahead of it, the better opportunity we have to succeed and be happy. Okay, so say you find yourself, your business is completely dead or you just got fired. Number one, reach out to people. You know, the more that we can reach out to people and ask, how are you doing? It means a lot. You never know who's alone, who's struggling, or has a loved one potentially dying. You know, right now is that time to just show up, be a light. The more good you put out there in the world, the more good will come back to you. That is a fact. And the more you do for others in small ways, the better you're going to feel about yourself. So take the time to check in on people. Take the time to send the nice notes, let them know you're thinking about them. That's gonna go a long way when things change. And here's the bottom line, things will change. There's always gonna be different challenges. It's on us to find out what that opportunity is to pivot. Dig into what your value proposition is. Get your testimonials, your recommendations, and start shining them. Put them on LinkedIn, share them on social, and let people know you need help, that you're looking for ideas to pivot your business, that you're out of work and looking for opportunities. There are people hiring. You need to communicate with others. You need to nurture your network, and you need to shine your light and shine it bright. This is your time. If you haven't been investing in yourself, now is the time for you to start doing it. There are so many great offers online right now for different programs. I see so many people taking online Courses, learning new and different things. So just start thinking about, what is it that you always wanted to do? What would you do if money didn't matter? And let's try to figure out a bridge plan to get you there. In the interim, put out content, share your testimonials, shine a light on your unique value proposition, because when you start to do that, those dots will start to connect. I have been there and I'll never forget posting that I got fired. And here hearing from Froggy from the Elvis Duran show that he wanted to help. I converted that opportunity in the moment and I tweeted right back at him, please get me on the show. And he did. And that meeting and that interview led me to write my first book, Confidence Creator. Don't think that taking that risk and taking that step, as scary as it is, won't pay off, because it will. And that I guarantee you start speaking as if you're worthy, because you are. And one of the things I heard today, someone was saying, this is a stupid question. Heather. I know this is going to be a dumb question. And I had to catch this person and say, please don't say that anymore. And be self aware. If you start speaking negatively about yourself, that's how you're selling yourself to other people, they'll follow suit. They're going to start saying the same things. So instead, let's speak really highly and strongly and powerfully about ourselves so others can do the same. And it's breaking some bad habits and implementing some new ones, which I know all of you can do because I've done it. And if I can do it, you can do it too. Have you ever had someone get on a call with you and you talk about maybe having them on your show and then they just take over? No, I do not. But this happened to this woman. Okay, this guy sent me a meeting link for a time slot that we tentatively discussed. He's ignoring me on email and I am really turned off by this. Okay, should I tell him why he's not going to be a guest or should I just give a cookie cutter reply back here? Here's the thing. No is a complete sentence, right? It's your show. You do, you boo. You don't need to explain to anyone. So if you thought the guy was possibly a candidate to be a guest and then you decided he isn't any longer, shoot him a note and say, you know what? This isn't the right fit. Thanks, best of luck to you. Moving on. Keep it moving. We do not need to explain Ourselves. When it's your show, it is your show. Now, it would be different if you worked for a company, it was their podcast, and it was your boss calling you. Okay. Then you're probably gonna have to justify it, right? Cause you work for him, but you do not work for this guy. Ping, ping that person away. Bye. Bye. Okay. Hey, Heather, can I ask you a question? Over the last several months, multiple people and companies have been contacting me, trying to sell me virtual speaking programs where they promise I'll make a lot of money as a virtual speaker. Since you are much deeper into this speaking business, what do you think? Are they just selling me or is there really something there? Here's what I said back to this gentleman and here's what I want to share with you. If people are guaranteeing you things, then have them guarantee it. Right. So if someone's saying, I promise you this or I guarantee this, then great, go ahead in writing and guarantee it for me. What does that look like? Are you guaranteeing me five paid speaking engagements a month to the tune of $50,000? Put that in writing, give me the guarantee and I'll even one up you one better. The hesitation, apparently, is this guy doesn't want to make the investment or he's unsure if he should make the investment. I would flip the script on that. I would go back to these vendors or companies and say, you sound really convinced that you can deliver on this. To that end, I don't want to give you a front end retainer or front end fee. I'll pay you a commission on all the bookings. You land me, then everybody's happy, Right? You don't have to take the risk on investing in something that may or may not materialize. And these people that are so convinced they can deliver for you can. They're going to be motivated to do it even faster because they're going to get paid commission. And I'll guarantee you that they don't want to take that deal because the reality is they really weren't going to guarantee the bookings. That's. I've never seen that happen. Right. They'd have to truly believe in that person as a speaker and in their contacts and ability to close deals really quickly.

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Hey Heather, I have a question about what you would do In a situation I encounter frequently, I find myself having to pick up slack for coworkers or even other peers. Maybe in group projects that need to get done or whatever the case may be. I know I have to pick up the slack or else my grade or job will be affected. Therefore, I just say okay and I complete the task myself. This takes away from personal time, adds extra stress. What would you say or do in this situation? I heard you like to use these questions in your podcast. If you do, keep this anonymous. Okay, you got it. So here's the thing. People will treat you the way you teach them to. This person is saying this happens in her life frequently. She's allowing for it and she's teaching them to do it right. Here's a quick story. Thirteen years ago, my son was born. Ten days after giving birth, the CEO that I worked for called me and he said, hey, I need you to jump on a plane and go give a keynote speech for me at my alma mater. I can't do it. And I said, okay, that's ridiculous. Okay, here's what I would do differently today I say, oh my gosh, so great to hear your voice. Did you not hear I just had a baby? Hang on, I'm going to go ahead and email and text you the pictures over. Call me back when she get them and let's talk about how cute my kid is. Oh, by the way, I'm sure there's someone on the team that would be better suited to make a flight right now. And that's definitely not me.

Right?

That was easy. Okay, now if you haven't just had a baby, but you have no business in taking all the work on what it should be divided and equally spread. The first thing that I would say in that situation. I use this in any difficult situation that you don't want to be, you don't want to create additional conflict, but you need to call someone out. I always say this. I'm confused. Okay, that's non confrontational. However, we've got a problem, right? I've got a question. Hang on, I'm confused. When we started working together on this project, I was doing a third of the work. You were doing a third, Bobby Joe's doing a third. I've completed my task, Bobby Joe's completed theirs and you have not been able to get yours done. As you know, you're responsible for that portion. If we hand this in with just 2/3 of the work done, everyone is going to suffer. Where are you stuck that you're not able to produce this or get it done? Right. You've got to kick back in a non confrontational way to remind people of expectations and take it a step back even further. Are you setting clear expectations on the front end of work projects of school projects to say, guys, let's get clarity here and let's assign some deadlines and some responsibilities and let's go ahead and put it in writing. Okay, here's what we've agreed to. A week before the project is due, everyone will have their part done so that everyone can review the other parts. You're responsible for A, you're responsible for B, I'm responsible for C. We meet together and reconvene in 10 days and we all come prepared to the meeting. Here's what that will entail. Here's the deadlines, here's the responsibilities and I'll follow up with an email. The more specific you are with people, the more you're going to be able to hold them accountable, get agreement and buy in from everyone on the front front end. Set those expectations clearly and then those boundaries are really easy to hold because everything was in writing. I'm confused. How could you not have your your portion of the work done here? That doesn't make any sense. So definitely have to kick back there. And if it's happening frequently, it's because you're teaching people to treat you that way. Pump the brakes and stop. And P.S. you should totally check out my confidence video course. Go to my website, you'll see the link that's definitely going to help you. Okay. Hey Heather, I have your book since it came out and I love it. I wrote you a review too. Oh, thank you so much. I'm finally trying to get my book published and the question is about pr. Did you hire a firm to help you? Any advice would be appreciated. Listen, of course you want to hire a PR firm if you can, but it's a financial commitment, right? It's a big investment. And some of the companies are very expensive. So if you can go all in. I also used an element through the publishing company that I worked with, Scribe. They have some options there that are a little less expensive. But if you have a community that you've already built on social media through an email list, you also want to leverage that opportunity. You want to pitch yourself to go on podcasts, to go on shows, to get as much exposure as you can. Seth Godin was super smart about this. He did podcast guesting for months before his book came out. However, he would tell you, as he told me, you cannot drop this episode until I think it was October 4th to October 10th. That's it. That's your window. And so he had hundreds of podcast episodes come out right when his book dropped. So he didn't need a PR firm necessarily for that. He just had to put a lot of time and work in. So financially, if you can make the investment, of course, go all in and hire a PR firm. If finances are too tight and you don't have those resources, do the hustle. Put the time and pitch yourself for for everything and anything you can and get everyone to agree to allow that, you know, a tight window around right when your book drops to come out. Hey, Heather, I'm writing a book. All I ever hear about is I have to know someone in the industry to get published. I'm not sure what steps you took to get published. Okay, first of all, to get published, you can self publish. You can just upload to Amazon. You don't need to overthink it. When I self published, I hired Scribe Media, which I highly recommend. Go to their site, check it out, or I'll put a link in the show notes, and it's a la carte. You can pick the services you need or don't need, and it takes zero time. I mean, it happens so fast. So people try to make it really intimidating. Scribe for me, really simplified it and it was a great experience. That was my first book. Now my second book, which is coming out in November. I went and pitched an agent first, and then I pitched her 14 times on 14 different book proposals. Finally, on the 15th time, she said yes. Then she went out and pitched 10 or 15 publishing houses. During the pandemic, we got back a few yeses. We met with the different teams we decided on going with HarperCollins leadership that whole process as well as writing the book. This is the big difference, right? When I self published, I wrote the book and self published all within five to seven months. It was. The book was out under a year, far under a year. It was very fast, the traditional way, which I'm going now. It'll be almost a year and a half, two year process. It really depends if you want speed to market self publish. If you are really hooked on this idea of wanting to be with a publisher, you've got to find an agent, start pitching yourself to different agents out there and get ready for your book not to be out for a couple of years. I hope that helps. If it did, please leave me a rating and review hit subscribe and I need you to to get these episodes every week and if you could please promote it on social media. When you tag me I always repost and re tag and I can't wait to see you next week. I'll be creating confidence. Hope you will be too. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.