#326: Turn Your Passion Into ACTION With Ellen Bennett, Sarah Pendrick, Tiffani Bova, Ashley Stahl, Brit Morin & Christmas Abbott

Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelts.

I'm ready for my close up.

Welcome back.

I'm so glad you're back here with us this week. I know how hard it can be at times to trust your deepest desire.

And truly believe you can pull it all off. But consider this your sign to bet on yourself.

It's time to take the leap, my friend. It's your turn to start taking action to bring your passion to life.

I put together some inspiration from some of my fave guests who've taken the leap and lived to tell about it.

I hope you feel super excited to.

Take a step towards your own dream after listening to this. Remember, take action and go for it.

Come on this journey with me.

So it's about starting to show up in some area, whatever it is that you want to do. If you want to become an architect, go intern at an architecture firm. If you want to be an artist, carve out time on your calendar where you're dedicating space to that. You just have to put time aside and show up in some way that gets you closer to that goal, whatever it is, big or small, but, like, baby steps to move it forward. And what you're really doing secretly is you're building your own confidence so that when that opportunity does come along, you can actually say, yes, I know how to do that, or, yes, I'm going to show up in this way. And I had many, many funny jobs before I started Hedley and Bennett. Like, I was the lottery announcer in Mexico City on television for, like, millions of viewers every day. And that was one of my many weird jobs to get myself through culinary school. But because I said yes to that, because I would show up, I just felt this, Yes, I can do it when other funny, interesting, unique situations came my way. So don't be afraid to show up and try things and do funny jobs and not have a perfect straight path. Like the straight path. Yes, we see it on tv, we see it in movies, but it's just not the honest to goodness path that everybody takes. There's a lot more people that have a windy road, and the windy road is a good road. So don't feel bad or think that it's a bad road to be on.

Oh, my gosh, I love that you shared that. I led that whole linear path back in corporate America and, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be that it was clear and well lit and straight until I got fired unexpectedly and was thrust into the windy path. And I'll tell you, Ellen, it's so scary when you think it's supposed to be one way and you get thrown into the other way.

Hundred million percent. And I'm trying to normalize that. The windy path is actually where you learn the most. It's where you make the biggest impact. It's where you become creative and you be responsible, you're resourceful, and you think outside the box. Because if you're on a straight path, that path has already been taken. You're just kind of following everyone else. Like, do you want to be like everyone else, or do you want to show up in the world and, like, make a difference? That's what it's about. It's about making that magic happen. And so I really, really, really am excited for people to pick this up and be like, damn, I can do this too, and it's totally okay, and it's going to be messy, and I'm here for it.

Oh, it's so good and so true. So tell me about the confidence belt and doing the things that scare you that you teach in the book.

Yes. There's a whole section on it where I talk about confidence is like a savings account. And every time you show up to do something that is a little bit out of your comfort zone, you're investing in that account and you're accumulating this feeling and it builds up over time, and you sort of, like, stretch your mental muscles to be willing to do this one thing thing. It's a little scary. And then you do it anyway.

Right.

A long time ago, I decided I wanted to be a runner. And then I signed up for the New York Marathon, and I got in and I was like, holy shit, I just got into the New York Marathon. I guess I have to train now. And then I started training and I did the marathon, and it was an incredible and terribly hard experience, but I showed up and I did it. And so it sometimes takes a big decision or a big moment or a big, this is scary, but I'm doing it anyway. And then you start working towards it, and turns out you're stronger than you think you are. So you get to the other side, and then you do bigger and crazier and better things. So you just got to, like, put yourself in situations where you're not just in the safety of your own little home and world and, like, branch out and make that talk to somebody that you Wouldn't have talked to. Call somebody that you're afraid to talk to, email somebody that you want to work for. Like, do those things that make you nervous and then keep doing it again, and if you fail, keep going anyway.

So one of the things that I noticed that you do just even in that description that you just gave us, is you hold yourself accountable at a really high level, which, for me, that's one of the ways that I'm able to push myself into fear. So you told the chef that you could take the order on the aprons when you didn't have the apron company. You signed up for the New York Marathon when you hadn't trained for it yet. You hold yourself accountable before there's proof that you can actually do it.

Yeah.

And that's been my way of just committing. It's like a commitment. You make a mental decision, and then you make a physical decision in some capacity, something that's going to thrust you there, and then you got to do it. You got to show up. What are you going to not do it? Like, that's not cool. You got to show up and do it. So it's a beautiful thing. But that is truly how I've created all these notches on my confidence belt. When I turned 18, I moved to Mexico City by myself. I had no family. I didn't know anybody. I went for two months. I stayed for four years, and it was the wildest experience I had ever had. But I learned so much about being resourceful, sustainable on my own two feet, and how to just get out in the world and make something out of nothing. And this was yet another notch on the confidence belt. Being the lottery announcer on television from Mexico, notch on the confidence belt. So it's just do those things that scare you, and it will lead you to bigger things that you are actually wanting to do something you're passionate about, that dream or that goal, whatever that is.

Oh, it's so good. I agree so much that you've got to start small and building that strength to go on to those next, bigger things. It doesn't come from 0 to 100. It definitely goes 0 to 10 first.

Yeah, exactly. And I break all those little moments down because people just think of the giant moment, the giant success, and then they were on Forbes magazine, and you're like, do you know all of the failed businesses that they had, the amount of pain and anguish, the loans that they had to take out, the things that they had to do that led to that moment? And so this is the beginning of the journey. I'm 33 years old. I started heavily in mind when I was 24 and a half. So it's the first chapters of business and how to get it. There's so that you can then one day be on the COVID of Forbes or be a successful person. But all of this is imperative to get to there. You need to take these first steps to make that leap. It's not some like easy path where it just like lands.

I'm on this journey with me, with me.

Came to LA and I'm like, what am I going to do? I was just thinking like, who do I know? What can I do here? Did the like hostessing thing and then hostess at night. And then I went and worked in the fashion industry with marketing because I had learned marketing. I knew how to talk to people. I just started gathering all these different skills. And then one day, actually after my first Tony Robbins event, I realized that this was fast forward, like two years later and I was successful in what I was doing in PR and marketing. I realized that I was building everyone else's brand, but still not doing something of my own. And that's when I came across that business plan from when I was like 13 or 14 and getting back from UPW and I'm like, o, once again, maybe this is my pattern. I kind of burned the boats. Like all my client contracts were coming to an end. I had this agency that was amazing and I'm like, you know, I don't have to worry about paying my rent. I'm doing amazing. Do I want to start all over again? And that's when I was like, yeah, I do. Because why did I come here? Why did I stop my PhD? Why did I move all the way to LA? I came here to have a platform and something that not only healed me, but also healed other people around me.

Wow, that is so powerful. And I love what you said about you are building everyone else's brand. And I so feel that. And for anyone listening right now, investing in yourself and even if you're working for another company or you're doing something different, still build your own brand, be in charge of that. What was that like for you? Starting to invest in yourself and build your brand?

I think that that is what's made me such a successful and fulfilled businesswoman is by like listening to my soul, listening to my intuition and taking those risks. And that's what's build my resilience and the things that I've been able to create. And also, even though at the time I Burned the boats again, I had already had success and I was doing those things on the side. So when I share the stories, I'm not saying everyone go like, burn the boats. But what I'm saying is when we really tap into what our soul knows and what we really want to be doing. I talk about this in the book. Like, think about what you wanted to be when you were younger, because there's a message in there for that. That's when you start really getting that success. And even more so, more important than success is that fulfillment.

Oh, it's so, so true. I love that idea of thinking about, what was it that you wanted to do? What were you drawn to do before people started telling you, you can't do that?

Exactly.

So what was the girl talk journey like? It sounds like success was just coming easy. Was it simple to create this?

You know what's crazy? The very first event that I put on was simple. I will say I did not have a social media following. I maybe had like 500 or a thousand people on my personal Instagram at the time. But what I did is I went old school. I went door to door. I had the event in Manhattan beach, where I live, which is right next to LAX outside of la. I got businesses involved. I brought value to each person that was going to support the event. And though it was hard work, it came together so easily and it sold out, which just doesn't happen. It has not been that easy since. I will say that it has. Not at all. And I think the reason it was that easy is because I was following what my soul knew and I was just trusting and it just all came together. And then, of course, as you continue to build and shift, you have more challenges that come with that. But I would rather be going through those challenges than anything else that I was doing.

But I would think to me, and again, I'm on the outside looking in. You have hundreds of thousands of people in your community, this massive community. I would think it would become easier as you went on.

You know what? I asked myself that sometimes, too. So I think it's different. It's different of what you're doing. Like when I was doing courses in the membership, because I built my community and was just so authentic and really had them not only, like, heal with me, but also just have them as friends as well. So courses and things like that were easy. What started to get more difficult was filling events because there's so many events out there. And so that's where I kind of started to sit back And I had my self doubt come in, which I write about in the book, and how to rise above that, where I was like, oh, there's so many events. Like, who am I to have another event? Like, is this event going to sell out? And I went down, like, that path for a while, and once I cleared that, it became easier again. Like, I just had my. My biggest event that I had right when the start of 2020 Girl Talk Festival and when I was able to clear that doubt and stop worrying and comparing, the festival sold out. And it was my most favorite event that we've done so far.

What did you do to clear that doubt?

So the thing that I do when doubt comes up, and this is why I wrote about it in the book, because it doesn't matter who you are, Doubt comes up, things happen. You have different seasons in your life. Instead of trying to talk it away or pretend that it wasn't there or just keep going down this road, I actually gave myself the space to dive deeper into where that doubt was coming from. And once you have that awareness and you're also just giving yourself, it's like with a relationship, if you ignore your partner, if you ignore your friend, you're not going to get anywhere. So I was ignoring myself and just trying to push through and be like, okay, well, this is what you do to sell at an event. And the minute I actually gave myself that time, there's something that energetically cleared also my energy and my. My care doubled. So I was able to come at things from a different perspective and just really clear that space for people to organically start finding the event.

That's so interesting to me because I am definitely the person that always thinks power through, power through. The idea of giving yourself the space to sit in. It actually sounds a little scary to me.

Yeah, I know it is. It is so scary to most people, and it's still scary to me. Like, I have to remind myself, hey, when you do this, it really pays off. Plus, you have so many different ideas. And all the things that we did at the event came from me being able to give myself that space.

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I'm on this journey with me, with me.

I accidentally stumbled into selling and realized I was good at it and then I could make some money at it. Well this is awesome like, great. I can make money doing what I enjoy doing. I'm a people person. You know, I was an athlete my whole life, and so I love the competitiveness of selling. Like, you know, winning that deal feels just as exciting today as it did 30 years ago. And then I realized, you know, that when I left the sort of sales leadership profession, I was burnt. I was burnt out. I needed a break. I had just been grinding for 15 years, and I had to get off that merry go round.

And I.

And I decided that I wanted to go and become an analyst and consultant on sales transformation. So to use what I had learned, and I didn't know how to do that, actually. Like, it's a very different muscle. So the first couple of years, I felt like I wasn't very good at it. But what happened was people started to share with me what they thought my superpower was. And it could be storytelling, it could be taking lots of data from multiple sources and being able to package that into a presentation or looking for signals and trends in the market. I didn't realize they were my superpowers until people started to tell me, you're really good at this. And once I realized that, then I said, okay, how do I do more of that? And so I think it was a process of elimination. Like, what do I want to do, but what am I really good at? And what do my clients actually value from me? And then how do I create a situation where I do more of that, where I do more of what people think I'm good at and that I enjoy and I love doing? And that's kind of how that happened. That was kind of the work is not just what you want to do, but also what people value in what you bring to the table. You know, why they hired you or why they invited you to a meeting. Like, ask the question, hey, you invited me to this meeting. Why'd you invite me to this meeting? And they may say, you know, you always bring a unique perspective. Oh, okay, thank you.

Right.

Then you go, okay, People think I bring a unique perspective. And then ask someone, why'd you invite me to this? Or, you know, give me some feedback in this meeting. And they might say, you know, you're really good at this, this, and this. Okay, I'm really good at this, this, and this. Or you could improve here. You have to ask so that you can kind of find where you want to double down. And that's why that vision board was really a creation of all the things people thought I did fairly well.

So I like that you called it the work. Right. Because as I'm three years into being an entrepreneur and I identify with what you just said still in the work of everything is evolving and changing and it's scary and hard and so different than being back in corporate America where it felt so much more linear. You knew what that next move, the path was already mapped out for you versus I feel like now I'm living in the work. How did you keep yourself further on and say, you know what, this is the work and I get it and I'm sticking with it versus getting frustrated and saying, gosh, I keep. I'm met with failure, I'm met with challenges. Maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this.

Well, there's so much in that I'd say more than anything for those of you listening that have children or get them into sports, doesn't matter if they're not very good at it. There's so many lessons I learned in sports. Winning with humility, losing with your head held high, being coachable, being a teammate, sharing, getting feedback, giving feedback. There's so many lessons in sports. So I think when you talk about the work, it's like you have to become a student of your profession, whatever that is. It's like if you want to get in shape, you have to go to the gym. You're going to be sore for the first 30 days, but don't stop going because if you stop going because you're sore and you go back again, you're just going to get sore again. But if you just keep working on it, eventually you won't be sore anymore. So now you either need to increase the weights or mix up the workout so you get sore again.

Right.

It's about getting a little uncomfortable every single day because sitting in comfort means you're not sort of challenging yourself to do other things. But I will also say through that process, you are going to find your non strengths, which is another word for weakness. You are going to find your non strengths. Now, do you want to double down and try to make yourself really good at those non strengths or do you want to say, those are my non strengths? I am going to surround my people who that is their strength. And I'm going to go focus on what is my strength.

Right?

I mean, that's a perfect setup, especially as an entrepreneur. Like I hear all the time, I'm trying to grow my business and then, you know, I'm just about to double my revenue. Are you the right leader to get you to the next place? Is your Strength, being able to do that or is it time for you to bring in another CEO or to bring in, you know, a partner or to bring in a chief financial officer or whatever it might be right to, to fill in those non strengths. And so I think that throughout the journey that's what you have to learn is fall in love with failure, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, find out what your non strengths are, surround yourself with people who could help fill in those gaps and then find a way to double down on what you're really good at.

Such good advice. Could not agree more. However, it does sound a little bit easier than it actually is. Putting it into practice, just like going to the gym, as you mentioned. So obviously growth is one of your superpowers, one of the things that you're able to identify right now, looking at so many business owners and employees of companies with this new crazy world that we're in. As you step back and take a look at industries and business today, what are some of the suggestions you have in ways that people can start to move forward to regain their footing and start moving to a growth plan?

For me, I feel like having been a sort of advisor and consultant for a decade on growth and sales at a company called Gartner, which is the world's largest analyst and consulting firm for tech companies, is the lack of investment that was made around technology pre pandemic really caught a lot of businesses flat footed because if you have to close your doors overnight and you don't have an E commerce presence, you're in trouble. If you close your doors overnight and your employees don't have the ability to use cloud based products to work from anywhere, you're in trouble. If you don't have the ability to communicate with your customers, I mean you even have to know who they are, you're in trouble. So I think what has happened was it kind of showcased and highlighted the lack of investments that had been made. But what has been really inspiring is over the last 12, 13, 14 months is how quickly small businesses entrepreneurs have pivoted to making those technology investments and doing the things they need to do to make sure their employees are safe and capable of doing their job. But getting back to growth requires a very different mindset today because the buying and selling engine is now all digital and it doesn't matter if you're selling a hard good or you're selling a service. Ultimately you have to figure out what do our customers want tomorrow from us or six months from us and it's not going to look the way it looked 12 months ago. So if you just sort of step in and go, we're just going to keep doing what we were always doing. Now the world's opening back up. You're going to be very disappointed because the customers are different, the habits are different, and more specifically, customers expectations have changed. We now are these super consumers that live in our and shop and educate and do healthcare in our homes. And now you want us to go back to work, to an office. But ultimately the behaviors we've now learned over the last 12 months are ingrained. And so if you try to just force the way it always used to be, you're not going to get those same results. So there's so many moving parts. But I would say, especially in the entrepreneur and small business, they have been so resilient and so dedicated to making sure that they open back up and continue to serve their customers if at all possible. Some weren't able to make it, but then it's what is the lesson learned and how do you set yourself up for success going forward?

Come on this journey with me.

I think there's other forces at play, like in addition to what you're sharing. It's like, here's the thing about clarity. If you don't have it, it's expensive because turns your career into sometimes a graveyard of trial and error. And trial and error is not a bad thing. The best careers are built on trial and error. I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is that they hold their career too seriously, too heavily, and they're not nimble enough to change. Like, it reminds me, having gone into the office at Pixar, there's a big sign on the wall. It said fail faster. And it's so true. The people who are nimble in their career, they're willing to make decisions, try something on, show up, see what feedback the universe gives them, get of limbo, make a commitment, and then course correct along the way. The people who are willing to stay in motion and not see the potential for failure as like this reason to stop or slow down so much. It's not to say to go so fast, but it is to say that some people are so afraid of failure, they stay paralyzed, you know, and I think that perfection paralysis is just a mask for fear of failure. And so yeah, it's like, what can we do to stay in motion? So in my case, I had an online course. I started, scaled it, it created an email list in just two months of a half million millennial women. We did millions of dollars of revenue in that two month period, after a year of me failing, by the way, I was negative 100k in when this thing turned. So I went from completely broke to credible wealth in two months. And then there's so many different things that happened. In the sales of my job hunting course, I had a Facebook ad specialist who wanted to push the envelope. I trusted him. I ended up going a half million dollars into debt after that. So spending three and a half years continuing to build my business and paying that off. And you know, if there's anything I've learned, it's that everything you do is serving you in some way. And I don't like it when people say that. Cause I'm like, really? My half million dollars of death, it's been such a buzzkill. But you know what, the amount of speaking engagements I've booked almost amounts to the amount of debt I took on because they want me to talk about the failure. So it's just, just really trusting your life. And I think when you can move through that lens of deep trust and it doesn't mean you resign, trust does not mean surrender, does not mean resignation, you know, but really trusting it. And I think taking that tactical action. So for example, not just following your passion, I'm not a big believer in that, but really taking a look at what are my skills? What are my gifts? And a good question for people to ask the people around them is, when have you seen me at my best? When have you seen me at my best? Because you'll be surprised what your parents will say about that. What a couple close friends, what a couple colleagues. It always helps to text people that or email them that so you can read their responses and maybe you can say, hey, you know this crazy career coach Ashley Stahl on this podcast wanted me to ask you this. Whatever it is that makes you ask them. But you will be surprised what people will respond to you saying. And from there you can ask yourself, what skill set are you using when you're at your best? What are you doing that would, I don't know, like relay to a skill set that you're using in your life? Because according to research, the people around us tend to know us better than we know ourselves. That's the case with divorce. People know if their friends are going to get divorced before their friends know. And it's a lot of the times the case with our career, we think we're good at one thing, but other people might notice something else. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that what you're great at, sometimes it's is too obvious for you to even notice.

Well, and it's like you said, you're trapped in the bottle so you're, you don't really see it the same way that everyone else outside says, wow, she's so much better at this than everyone else. You think, oh, everyone's probably pretty good at this, or this is, you know, something that comes natural to people. Oftentimes we devalue typically whatever it is that we're good at and just assume other people are good at it. To that point that you had reaching out and asking for emails from 10 different people in your life. I use that as a confidence building exercise because not only is it showing what skills you're great at, but also it gives you that boost of seeing yourself through the lens of someone else. And you're absolutely right. Keeping that in a file or an album so you can go back and reference it. Things change over time. Things evolve over time. It is important to look at those things and keep that feedback handy.

Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, if I'm being really candid, it's like we've got to trust ourselves and we've got to trust our intuition ultimately. But I think, you know, it's like whenever my business feels like it's plateauing, the thing I think about the most is how do I go have more conversations? Because that's where I get more information, more inspiration, and I get back more to myself. So even if you lead with your own intuition, I think collecting other information, just making sure you're coming from a good, good place when you do that. Some people are shopping for opinions because they don't want their own. They're scared of trusting themselves. Other people are collecting information to filter it through their own intuition. So I think knowing where you sit as you're taking feedback is huge in your career.

Oh my gosh, it's so huge. And who you're taking the feedback from is so important because so many people want to protect us and keep us safe and don't want us taking chances and they think they're being helpful offering feedback that's really paralyzing us or limiting us.

Yeah, absolutely.

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So what are some of the other ways that you get people to go from okay, I might not be in the job I love, but you know, I see that I have this skill set now. Where do I go from here?

Well, let me walk through if you're down for it. The 10 core skill sets I have in my book because I think in the U turn book there's an 11 step roadmap to get to clarity. My favorite thing is your core skill set. Obviously I go into it so much more in depth, but I think this is a starter for the note takers on the show would help them. So out of the 10, I want to just remind people it's an energy that you go into. It's not just a skill you use. These skill sets are energies. So the first one is innovation and the innovator can be the intrapreneur, it can be the entrepreneur. It's the creative person who is brainstorming, who is managing their own book of business. They are somebody that's whose creativity or self starter initiative is moving a business or a company forward. And it's very much so an energy. They're a problem solver, they're visionary. The second core skill set is building. So this is anything from that tactical side of things like a mechanic or a construction worker or it can be a little bit more concrete like a web developer who is building a web website in a more concrete way. And then number three, I think this might be yours too. Heather is words. So my core skill set is words. And that means you know, the speakers, the writers, the salespeople. And it's important to know as you're going through these core skill sets whether you're an introvert or an extrovert. And the reason I would say that is because there's different ways of expressing a core skillset. Like if I'm an extrovert, I'm probably going to be a speaker. If I'm an introvert and words is my core skillset, it would be so damaging and exhausting for me to be speaking on stage all the time. And I do believe in all of the research around ambiverts, but I do think most people default to one or the other when it comes to how they get their energy. Do you absolutely need time alone to get your energy or do you really feel like people are a battery charger for you?

I'm on this journey with me, with.

Me so often they get so afraid to put out their idea into the world. But literally, if you build a landing page that just like as a paragraph about the thing you're building, maybe a picture of it and a sign up now button, you can just see in the data how many people are interested and if it catches fire and maybe you should build 10 versions of that to see. Test 10 different ideas. A lot of people are stuck in between ideas. What should they choose? So just put it out there, test it. It's like Tim Ferriss, to your point about books, literally bought AdWords on his own dime to test the four hour workweek that was the most clicked on ad for his book. He tested like a hundred variations of that title. So it's so true. And as much as my like creative, artistic heart hates making data driven decisions.

Sometimes because I just want to go.

With my gut, the data doesn't really lie. And the best is when you compare those two things together.

Oh, it's so true. That's when it's pure magic. Okay, so how did you get yourself to walk away from such an amazing job with so much responsibility, with amazing people?

Very good question. My parents asked me the same thing.

I bet they were like rated the.

Number one place to work for like three years in a row while I was at Google. And like there was frozen yogurt like 10ft from my desk and like a bouncy house. It was just like the most insane thing ever. And the truth is I knew that at 25, I probably had a narrow window where I didn't have kids. At the time, I wasn't married. I had six months of savings under my belt and all these entrepreneurial ideas I'd wanted to try my entire life. And so worst case scenario, if I spent six months figuring out if I should be an entrepreneur and testing out one of the ideas and it failed. I knew I could go get a job either back at Google or somewhere else. Like I had something on my resume. I was a smart person, I could go back to the corporate world and if I didn't try at 25, when else would I do it? I knew that I would probably get into like getting married, having kids. It's so busy, I'm not sleeping like and, and I just wouldn't do it. And then I do think the naivete of being young really helps you sometimes. It's like pretty clear that a lot of young people start companies because they just don't know what they're getting into. And frankly I'm glad I did that back then. That's not to say though that you can't start a company at any age. I mean, I've worked with 70 year old women who are starting companies and it's just as powerful of an experience for them too.

So what was the final moment that you said, you know what now is I have to do it now. Was there an actual tipping point that occurred for you?

It was my four year anniversary. To be honest at Google it felt like I had literally done my college MBA or something like you know, every four years at that point I was also just like repeating patterns. I had built three different products within Google. You know, I knew how to launch a product, I knew how to work with engineers and product managers. But most importantly, back to the data. I saw in the data that how to search queries on Google and YouTube were always the top search queries of the year and they skewed female. And yet the search results behind them from like ehow.com and these like really boring websites were not really that interesting to me who at the time was 25. And I thought to myself, oh, I wish I could help women like me find like the tools and the instructions and how to get smarter and how to do things. And at the time also Pinterest had started and that was amassing a massive following with all women. And I was like, women want to learn shit. Like I can teach them shit. I like creating stuff. Like I should do this. I think frankly too, as I was preparing for my wedding, which was later that year, I fell back in love with diy. And actually the data does show now that we've done all this research that women on average get married at 26 and that correlates to the same time point where women start to believe in their creative confidence again. There are a bunch of studies on this and so I really do think that getting married and having babies pulls something out of women that forces them to be creative because they want to choose the flower arrangements and the colors and the event design and that sort of like can snowball into creating a more creative, creatively confident woman herself. And that definitely happened for me. And, and so all of those things just kind of triaged together and I was like, I think I gotta do this. And so I did.

So where did you start? You, you had this big idea with, and you mentioned this before, a lot of people have a big idea, but they say I, you know, I've got it. But now where do I go? Where did you begin?

Well, so originally it was after my wedding and a bunch of my friends who went to the wedding who were women were like, Brit, I've never seen anything like that. How did you literally make wooden flowers? Like, I wish I could be creative, I wish I could be creative. They kept saying that and I was like, but you can. And so I at first decided I would create this company that would talk a lot about creative ideas and how tos, but then it would really be like a multi pronged app strategy where we'd have like a wedding app, a home app, you know, a food and cooking app. And you know, you would download each one of our apps to use while you were cooking or decorating your home or whatever. And the content hub was just going to be like the central place where you learned about these apps and ultimately was a marketing vehicle to get you to download them. What ended up happening was like all the women loved the content and weren't downloading the apps. And this was a really big pivotal point in the Britain code journey because we had to at one point make a call to change directions. And we shut down our first app, it was a wedding app. And we decided to become a digital media company, which I had no prior experience doing. I didn't even know the difference between like a managing editor and an editorial director and all these fancy terms. Never knew how to sold sell ads to anybody. But it's what the data suggested the women wanted. And so onwards we went.

And what were some of the big lessons that you had from launching your own business that you want to share with people and that you do share with people in your new teaching programs?

Yes. So. Well, the first thing I would say again is trust the data and trust that you're probably going to be wrong when you first start your business. The hypothesis you have will probably be misproven or taken in a whole different Direction based on your customer's feedback. I think a lot of times entrepreneurs fail because they're so wedded to their idea being the only path forward, when in fact it might just be a clue on the trail to what your customers actually want or the problem you actually should be solving. And I think that's happened over and over again. Like Airbnb is a great example. You know, Brian, the founder, who actually is a friend of mine, was literally looking for a couch to stay on when he was traveling for different conferences. He didn't have that much money. And, you know, first it was couch surfing. That was the whole premise of Airbnb. But when it ended up happening was that the customers were like, it would actually be cool if I could rent an entire room or an entire apartment or house from somebody. And so they of course pivoted into that direction. If Brian would have been hell bent on a couch only rental program, I don't think Airbnb would have been as successful as it is today. And so listen to your users, listen to the data, don't be married to your idea. That's definitely a big step. The second step is to fake it till you make it. And I think this is particularly important for women for some reason, and I'm speaking generally, not for all women, we tend to be a little bit more risk adverse and a little bit more insecure when it comes to flaunting our talents and experiences. And oftentimes women don't take the leap into entrepreneurship because they think they're not smart enough. They've never done this before. You know, it wouldn't be perfect. They don't know the exact right idea. Like there's, there's just so many obstacles stopping them. It all comes back to self doubt. And so if you can quiet the self doubt and think about it as a six month experiment of your life where you're just going to try some stuff and put it out there, even when it's messy to see what sticks. I bet you will be really shocked by the outcome of that. And at the end of the day, not only will you feel more tied to one of your ideas and moving it forward, but, but so will actual real humans out there who want what you have to offer. And so I think just starting and sort of speaking with confidence about what you're doing, whether that's to your users, your friends, your grandma or investors, that's a huge step in the process.

I'm on this journey with me, it's very feeling driven. Meaning that like, if something Kind of interests me or piques my interest and kind of, like, tickles my soul, then I'm gonna say yes, Even if I'm not invited or, you know, like, if it gives me, like, this fear a little bit, then I say yes, because it's a new experience. And if I try it one time and I hate it, then I know if I try it one time and I'm not sure, then I'll try it again. And that's how I found, like, that's how I literally fell into nascar. Like, I went and said yes to a thing that I thought we were gonna be driving the darn car, and we went and hit lug nuts. And I'm telling you, I was mad. Like, I didn't want to be there. I was, like, trying to call my friend and tell him to get me out of here, you know, to be like, call an emergency. And so I was like, okay, I'll hang out for the day, like I said I would. And I'm telling you, if I had had more information, I would have definitely said no. And I showed up, and then I was like, what is this? And they were like, this is what we're going to be doing today. And so it literally changed my career path 100%. And I got excited, and it scared me, and so I had to do it. I just have to, like, get out of my own head and get out of my own way and just know that something really beautiful and unique might happen.

Oh, that sounds so exciting. And it's so funny that you were mad you weren't getting a chance to drive.

Oh, yeah, I was good.

So.

I was like, we're gonna be changing tires. What? And then, like, it was just the coolest day I can remember the day. So clearly, it was the coolest day ever.

And you ended up loving it.

Loved it. Had a whole career I went into. Actually, funny story is that when I started working on a pit crew, I was early 30s. And so, like, people in my position were retiring because of their age and, like, their inability to keep up with the sports demand because it's really hard on your body. And so there I am. There's another reason. One, I'm the only female that's ever done it. Two, people are retiring before they're my age. And I'm coming in as a new whippersnapper, you know, basically ancient old woman into this new sport that I've never done before. And it would be really easy to say, nope, not qualified. Nope, nope, nope. And I was like, screw it. Let's have some fun. Like, I love having fun, and that's why I love my workouts. That's why I love, like, trying new things. It's not always going to be a party, but you should enjoy it as much as possible.

That is so true. And no better time to be talking about this during a global pandemic, because I know for me, I have plenty of days. I just think I just need to survive this time. I just need to live through this time. And I'm forgetting about what you're saying. Like, no, it's not about just surviving. It's about thriving and enjoying your time. And it is easy to forget about that, given the situation that all of us are in with both of us having our kids at home where typically they would be at school and life would be very different.

You know, I used to say, put on your lip gloss and go have a fun day. But now it's like, put on the wing liner because you have the mask. And like I said, you know me, like, Loyal is home this week. He was home last week. Very unexpected through a few wrenches in my schedule, but it's fine. Like, we're going to have an adventure later today. He's going to try something new. I'm going to live through his experience. I'm probably going to try something new. We're going to have a blast. And it's just like, what's the point if you're not enjoying it, period?

That is so, so good. Thank you for that reminder because it definitely. I needed that one today. So one of the things that I noticed on your social media, which I am over here applauding you and cheering you on YouTube, are so confident the way that you show up on social and truly fearless. Right. How is it that you're able to do that? And I mean, one of the most recent photo shoots you have is freaking amazing. Off the charts, unbelievable. It's so proud of you. But I know just being another female that's on social media that you must get haters. How do you handle the haters when they come?

I feel like there's a few different types of haters. There's haters that are just gonna. They just talk down like, they're just mean and usually. Actually, it's really sad because a lot of them are young kids, like 12, 13, 14, you know, like early teens. Eight. I've gotten. Yeah, it's just wild. I have a lot of opinions on social media accountability, but for me, like, especially if somebody, like, I've had Really hateful messages sent to me. It depends on the tone. Sometimes I'll. I'll choose to educate them. Meaning, like, one person got upset because I was implied nude, and they were like, you're a mother. Like, first of all, I gave birth naked. That's what our bodies fucking do, you know, News flash, we were born naked. We're gonna leave this world naked. There's a lot of naked days in between. And like, what does that have to do with anything? Like, it was very tasteful. Even if it wasn't, it's still my right. It's my right whether I'm a mother or not. And so I went on a little tangent in the sense of, like, I don't push back in a negative way. I like to educate so people can take the information and go on or change their opinion. So normally I will kind of softly, but also very concisely, just, like, let them know, like, hey, look, this is one my Instagram. You're coming into my. My home. Yeah, I'm a public figure, but you came to. You click that follow me button. You clicked the comment. You clicked and decided what you were going to put out there through your voice on social media. That's on you. You don't have to participate in my world if you don't want to. And that's usually, like, the message that I, that I claim is like, I'm not asking you to follow me. I don't need you to. So whether I have a million followers or one follower, I'm gonna still be myself. And that's where my confidence comes, is because I'm not trying to be anything other than me. I think that's where, like, people deteriorate is when they're, like, trying to post for the masses and get likes by everybody. And I'm like, nah, I like myself more than just likes.

Or.

I decided to change that diamond dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while.

You could miss it.

I'm on this journey with me.