#356: Embrace, Thrive, & Transform Your Life With The Power of CHANGE With Heather!

Come on this journey with me each week. When you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelt. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay. It's been a crazy, crazy week. I don't know how your week has been. It has been intense. But I'll tell you, it's funny because if you want great things to happen, you gotta swing for the fences, right? So you need to put yourself out there. You need to do a lot of things right. If success was easy, everybody would have it. I'm exhausted right now as I'm sitting here talking to you and I am telling you that I'm sitting here thinking, like, why in the world do I do all of this stuff? Why? What? So I can sit at home on Sunday and just be so tired I'm falling apart. But then when I think about what I accomplished this week, I'm so proud of me. Do you ever have those moments when you work super, super hard, you start getting some momentum, big things start happening, Nothing's guaranteed. You think it's going well, but you're not certain, right? You're not there yet. But it takes a lot of flipping work. So I just want you to know, wherever you are in your journey, and this was the same actually, when I was in corporate America, you know, I sacrificed so much for 14 years, I was traveling every single week and I gave up so much to make it to the C suite. It was not. It was not easy at all. And I know on the outside looking in, sometimes people assume it's easy or something looks easy. It definitely isn't that way. So this week was one of those weeks, you know, if you really want to go for something big, you're going to have to put in that extra work. Just push. And so this was a real big push week. I was in Arizona for three days. I went for Arizona. I had to write a speech, give a speech, do a live Q and A with a huge audience. Didn't know what that was going to be about. Then I had to film a course for four hours. I really didn't know what to expect walking in. And it worked out great. Everything. I'm so proud of how, you know, what we came up with in the end and how everything went. But those moments, I'll tell you, the only way those things come together are when you trust yourself, right? You have to put the work in for sure. It was not the first time I did a video course. I've done many, you know, it's not the first time I've taught the material I was teaching. I've taught it many times. I've given thousands of speeches, Right. So I've done the work to get me there. But still, when you're on a new stage, you're with a new team, there's going to be different pressure and new unknowns. But the more you put yourself in these uncertain situations, the more, the more you can trust yourself that, you know, okay, I've pulled it off before. I'm going to pull this off too. And pray, right? Definitely pray. Ask God for help and guidance, which I definitely did. So I'm super proud of how that went. It was a tremendous amount of work, but it went really, really well. Nothing's a guarantee, you know, some of it's still up in the air and you have to see how some of it comes together. And it's more on all of that soon. But I'm really proud of myself. But of course, I was really tired when I got back and I had one day to catch up on my email and write a speech and a workshop on change. Here's what's interesting is this is not something until the last month, I've done a lot of. When you do something all the time, it's a lot easier, right? Cause, you know, oh, I could totally trust myself on this. I've done it a million times. It becomes a little bit scarier, harder when you haven't done it, you know, thousands of times. So it's interesting. I typically get hired for speeches around sales, sales, leadership and confidence building. Right. Those are the three topics that I'm typically brought in for, sometimes for innovation. Right. Sometimes different variations around these topics. But the last month, the number one topics I've been brought in to speak for are change, which is really interesting because it tells me something, that there's something going on with companies right now. They're struggling with change. Right. And I've had to create new content to address that. And anytime you're gonna create anything new, you have to test and try. And it's funny, somebody was messaging me a DM on LinkedIn yesterday, asking me all these questions about should I give a talk on this and should I do this? And you just gotta test and try it. I don't have all the answers. I'm not your audience. Right. You gotta test the, the content in front of the audience. Data doesn't Lie, and it will show you which way to go. So you have to, on some level, trust yourself and be okay with failing or not nailing it perfectly at first, right? So that's why I love social media, because you can use it as a place and a platform to test and try your content. No one is nailing it every single time. Go look at anyone with massive audiences. Some of their posts aren't going to do as well. Just go look at Gary Vee, right? That guy has millions and millions of followers. Some of his posts just don't land. That's the way for everybody. If you're testing and trying and growing, and you need to be growing because everything is constantly changing. That is the one constant is change. And it just. It's so interesting to me that that's the biggest topic lately that I've been hired to speak on. So after I get back from Arizona, I came back to Miami for one day, and then I had to go give a speech and a workshop on change for a company, private company. So it was a much smaller audience than I'm used to, which is interesting because like anything, the more you get used to something, the bigger stages you take, right? The one in Arizona was a huge audience. So you take these big stages, you start getting used to that. So then suddenly it's a small group, right? I think it was 30 people. And it's an interactive workshop, which I've done, but I haven't done thousands of them. So suddenly I'm like, whoa, wait a minute. This is a little different, right? Oh, gosh, I hope this is the right material. So one of the things that I did, I had one day right when I got back, because one thing I've become really good at is I put a pin in things. So when I'm leaving Miami and I'm prepping the speech, the Q and A and the video course, I'm working on all those things the week leading up. I have a pin in that. When I get back, I've got a speech in a workshop as soon as I get back. But I know I trust myself because I've done it enough times that I can come up with that relatively quickly. So I just put a pin in it. I trust me and I say, focus on what's ahead of me for Arizona right now. I get there, I do that work, I focus 100% intently on that work. Then I come home and I know I have that day to regroup, unpack, repack, and organize for. What does this look like? So when I Got home, I remember thinking to myself, okay, I've done a talk on change before. So I map it out, right? I create like an outline and it's very time sensitive, right? It's in 24 hours, so you need to really laser sharp focus and get the work done. There's no time to dilly dally around. Now I had had a pre call with this client ahead of time and they have a new sales leader. So it was the owner, the CEO of the company, the founder and this new sales leader and myself. And I've given speeches for this company before, so I know the background on the organization. But we went through pre call to ask, what are your goals for the event? You know, what do you want this to look like? What do you want people leaving saying. And it was all around that we want people crystal clear that change is not always easy. In fact, there's many times it's challenging. But embracing the change, leading the company with change is going to be a win for you and for everybody, Heather, you know, make that happen. So I was really excited about it actually because it was a little different for me. And so the goal was to have me do a talk for, you know, 40 minutes and then do a live workshop, interactive workshop for 50 minutes. So it was kind of cool. Again, I hadn't done something like this in a while and had never done it on the topic of change. So that's a challenge, right? A personal challenge. Like I do get excited about challenges. And so when I had that 24 hours to outline everything and go through the speech part, I know that part I felt really good, confident and comfortable because I've done it many times. But the workshop part, the interactive part, I thought, well, this is a little different because I, I've done workshops, but not a lot on change and change management. So I want to test and try my material, right? And this happens to all of us. And so I reached out to one of the employees at this company, used to work for me years ago. And so I reached out to her privately and I said, can you jump on a call with me for 15 minutes? I want to run some concepts by you and just get your feedback.

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She was in a week long conference and so I was just closing the event out for them. And so she was in between her events at their work conference. We jump on a call and I said, how's it going so far? So she was able to give me a little color, which is super helpful. Right. Information is power. Right. And so I was hearing that it was all about change. And every meeting they were going into was so much change happening at the company and so. And so was let go and so and so was hired and there was new people everywhere and old people were gone and major, major change. So there's obviously a lot of back conversations and side stories going on. She was helping me to immerse myself in the event before I got there, which is super, super helpful. Right. The more we can visualize it, see it and immerse ourselves in it, understand it, the better job we can do because we have context. Right. Walking into something blind is never the best situation. Never for anything, for any meeting. You know, you want to have color and insight. It's just going to empower you to relate better to people and what they're going through. So she was helping me to put myself in their shoes, which was they're scared and uncertain and don't know what's happening. And when change like that happens, there's a lot of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of uncertainty, fear of what is that next change going to be like, when will a change stop? Fear of job security. There's so much unknown, so much uncertainty and so much fear swirling. And oftentimes there's one or two individuals that will get really scared or really negative and start spinning up negative conversations about the company and really pouring gasoline on something that doesn't. I've seen that many times in business and it can really dampen the culture and attitude of the team. So I knew that going into this, okay, she helped me paint the picture. I understood what's going on. I shared with her some of the questions I was thinking. She, she gave me some that she thought would be good. So I mapped out this outline I wrote out. At first I started with 10 questions that I could ask the team, but then after talking to her, I came up with another 15. So I had about 25. And again, I don't know that I'm going to use them all, but I like to be over prepared. I want to have more than what I'm going to need when I walk into an environment and give myself options. Because in real time you're getting feedback based on your talk and that might lead you to say, ooh, I don't really want to go this direction. I think this direction is better. I like to be able to do that. And again, you got to trust yourself. You just got to say, I'm not exactly sure how it's going to turn out. This is. So what happened in Arizona, too. Bouncing back to Arizona for a second. But just to share with you, it's always important to trust yourself, to listen to you, listen to your intuition. You will know. I had mapped out a few different options for Arizona in and around the course that they had me doing. We had four hours to film this course, and I had never worked with this team before. I'd never worked for this company before. I'd never worked in an environment like this before. It was very different. I didn't know what to expect, and I didn't have anyone on the inside, right. So I'd made some really close relationships quickly in the last couple weeks. But still, we hadn't known each other for years, and there was, you know, we didn't have huge trust amongst each other. So I got as much information as I could, but wasn't getting the kind of information that I got from my employee that worked for me for six years with the workshop. I was just sharing with you. So I was at a little bit of a deficit, not knowing what I was walking into. I mapped out a couple of different options in my mind. I thought, if it's going to be very scripted, I'm going to go this angle, and if I'm going to just kind of wing it and just speak from my heart and from my experience and expertise, I'm going to go this direction. So I had mapped out two different paths, not sure which way we would go. And I just trusted that the way will reveal itself when I get there. I'll know when I get there. And so they kept pressuring me. It was kind of funny. Leading up to arriving in Arizona, they were sending me messages like, heather, you need to submit this stuff to us ahead of time. We want to see it. And. And I didn't want to. I delayed on that because I wasn't sure which approach would be the right approach for me. And I basically told them that. I said, listen, I've done the work. Don't worry. You know, we're going to get everything done that day, and we'll get it done under time. I promise you that. I know that. I'm certain of it. However, I'm just not sure of which direction to go. And I said, I will send you an outline. I will send you My notes, but it's not like a script right now. I need you to trust me on it. And they did, and they were very gracious and so. But I could tell it was stressful for them because they're not used to working that way, so. So anytime it was the first time you work with someone, you need to build that rapport. You need to build that trust. It's easier to do that if you've worked with someone a multitude of times. They had not worked with me a multitude of times. This is our first time, so anyhow, so there was different people in charge of all the different events and different things we were doing. And the one woman that was in charge of the actual video course, I just asked her to trust me. And luckily for me, that was the last project we worked on while I was in Arizona. And so she had some exposure to me. So now at this point, she did have some trust with me.

Right.

And so it was cool because I said to her, we're walking into film right now, and I'm still not certain what the right approach is. I said, will you work with me and be fluid? Meaning if we don't like how it's going this way, can we switch it up and try it that way? And she said, yeah, okay, let's do it now. Of course, they don't want to be there for 10 hours and editing things.

Right.

I know that's their concern, for sure. They do this every, you know, couple of days with the people they typically work with. I was the new guy that no one really knew yet. And so it was just an interesting dynamic. She was great, Definitely was so fluid with me. What ended up being really cool is that at first I was just winging it and going by my gut, and it was working really, really well for maybe the first 30, 35% of the video course. And then it got to this other part, and I just didn't feel. Feel as confident. I said, can we try switching it up and go more to, like a bullet point type plan here instead of me just speaking from my heart? And so we switched that up, and then we got to one point, and I said, can we try it scripted? I just want to see how that feels. So we ended up trying it every single different way possible, which was shocking to me. I never thought that was going to happen. And each area, it worked out better that we tried the different approach. So it was great that we started with me just, you know, winging it and speaking. And I'm grateful for this podcast because that's how I record these episodes. I have experience doing that now, so I trust myself when I'm in an environment like that. And so there was a portion that worked, but then there was a portion that had to be really, really more tighter and bullet pointed. And so we used the bullet point outline on that one. And then there was a portion that really needed to be scripted. It was clear once we were there. And so we did the scripted portion. I can't wait to see the final end result. She loved it. She said she loved using the different approaches altogether. They hadn't done that before, or, you know, maybe one experience they had done that. So it was just unique. It was different. And I think it's so important to just trust yourself and trust the people you work with. And again, that happens over time. It was a lot of work, but it was a great experience. Cut to. I applied that same rationale and reasoning to this workshop. Going and saying, okay, this one, I don't have a lot of expertise or experience around, but I'm gonna go in and trust myself. And I built out more than enough questions, right? So I had that backing if I needed it to fall back on. I had done the work. I built out 25 or something questions, which you just do the math, right? 50 minutes. There's no way it takes a lot longer than two minutes to get through a question with a team of people. So I knew I had way too many questions. But that was good. I wanted to have too much and I wanted to focus on, you know, my top 10 that I really liked. And it ended up going incredible. I mean, incredible. It was so, so good, so powerful. And when you're in a smaller environment like that, what's cool is you get to hear people's answers. And so I'll tell you, this reminds me of during the pandemic. This is kind of where I pulled from. I had a really hard time with the pandemic. I'm a single mother and my business disappeared overnight and I really hit the panic button. My son, his dog died. He lost sports. He was isolated at home. It was awful situation. We were living in a two bedroom condo at the time. It was a challenge, right? It was challenging times and I was really freaking out. And a friend of mine sent me this really cool email from a shaman that he works with and gave me an exercise to help me let go of the past, the way that life had been before quarantine, and embrace what was happening in that moment. And I didn't want to do it. I didn't like it. Just like so much change. We don't like it. But I want to read a little bit from this email he sent me because this is what set me up to do my change workshop or this was the mental state I approached it from which was super helpful and it reminded me of back in this time during quarantine.

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Remember so this shaman had sent this email to my friend. It says, I drive my son to school on the same route every day. I picked the shortest, fastest route and I stuck to it. Recently, however, the city began a major road repair and utility project. Now, on each day of commute, we navigate a shifting landscape of blaze orange signage and cones as the workers move between several main thoroughways. Predictably, my first reaction was frustration. Sounds like me. The wrinkles that emerged on my forehead seemed to protest. How dare you upset my routine. We want our routine back. But now, two full weeks in, I know every back road and side street in this town that I didn't know previously. I pass countless gardens that I would never have beheld while blazing down the main drag. I'm reminded that there are no straight lines in the natural world. We know the why paths too well. The highways, the familiar brands, the safe path of blending in, the reliability of the conventional choice. We know the facts and figures, timelines and probabilities. That's knowledge. But I bet that you too hear the deeper Calling of the things we don't know. Wisdom is far more fluid than knowledge. The more we tighten our grip, the more it slips through our fingers. Wisdom can sometimes hide more in what is unsaid than what is said. Wisdom seeks the gaps and fissures so that it can freely unfurl. It takes humility to intentionally turn towards what we don't know. It takes courage to make space for the fertile soil of messiness and unpredictability. Where words and systems break apart. Wisdom can enter through the cracks. Out beyond what we don't know are many things that simply can't be known. Questions whose value is in their very unanswerability. Mystery is all around us. It's a long email. I'm not going to read the whole thing to you, but the whole point is that it's the mystery of the unknown, the embracing of. Instead of focusing on the frustration, it's sort of embracing that we do have a detour. And this detour has the possibility to be a really beautiful thing when our best laid plans are dashed. I'm reminded of the coyote. The trickster coyote is the animal medicine that can reveal our blind spots while teaching us to laugh at ourselves. Can we welcome the unpredictable and even the destructive as wisdom teachers? Can we make space for what we know to crumble? Can we find beauty in the breakdown? Let's pledge to remind each other that we can soften that blow with laughter. I love that and I saved it. So in the end. And in closing in his email, he said, so are we willing to get lost in order to find our way when something goes wrong? Notice your first reaction, then lay it calmly aside. Take that opportunity to experience the freshness of a moment not shaped by you. It is a mysterious gift of wisdom. I wish for you not mere ease and well being. No, I like you too much for that. Instead, I wish for you just the right amount of challenge to inspire your growth and propel you into your full potential. I love that. I just, I think it's so well said, it's so true, it's so beautiful. And one of the exercises that I gave to the team and it was actually, in my opinion, the best one, which really helps you to break connections to the past and the way things used to be, is to write out a list. And you should do this. If there's anything you're struggling with, like any change that you're being confronted with or that you've gone through that you're saying, gosh, I've got to figure out a better way to manage it. For me, this is what I did during the pandemic. It helped immensely. And for me in the workshop, this is what I shared with the team and had them go through this exercise so that they could see things differently for the people who were hanging on to the way that it used to be. And it worked in real time. I'm telling you, it was so exciting to see and to hear the feedback from these guys. Okay, so a list of the benefits as a result of the new changes you're facing. So for me in Covid, it was writing out a list of the virtual world and not being out of the home, you know, during quarantine. What were the list of potential benefits of those new changes? You know, so that's like, I could do so many more speeches because of Zoom. I was meeting people I typically would never have met before all across the United States and. And the world. There was a lot that I had to write out. I didn't like doing it, but I made myself do it. The second part of this exercise is a list of the drawbacks and disadvantages of the old way. So for me, that was a list of things that were bad about pre Covid. I traveled too much. I was always on planes. I spent a lot of time in airports. I was away from my son a lot. Now I got to be with my son every day. Right? Like, so it's forcing you to sit down and break the emotional attachment to how things used to be and embrace how things currently are. So for you, list out the potential benefits or the benefits of the new changes of what you're dealing with in your life. At the same time, list out the drawbacks and disadvantages of the old way. And during this workshop, one of the cool things that came up, and so many of the people said it out loud during the actual workshop, and then they also came up to me afterwards and told me privately was that prior to all the changes that had just been implemented at the company, which were causing uncertainty, fear, you know, all the things that when they look back on it now, after going through that exercise, they realized they weren't really that challenged the people around them. There were people who were complacent, which told them it was okay for them to not push themselves too much. There weren't real all stars on the team, so they didn't feel threatened at all or challenged at all. So they were not living up to their potential. Potential. Now that some people have been let go and new people and talent have been brought on, they felt they were pushing harder than ever. They were moving faster than ever. They were striving for more. They were going to have a better year. They were starting to reach their potential and they started getting really excited about it. So we sometimes have to take a moment and say, all right, these are exercises worth going through so I can start embracing this challenge or opportunity that's ahead of me right now with excitement, with joy, and finding that exhilaration within it, this unknown beauty that I don't know what it's going to be yet, but it has the possibility to be anything and go through those exercises to help you break that attachment to the past, because that ship has sailed and it is in Guam. Okay, so give those two exercises a chance. I think you're really going to enjoy them. They help me immensely. They help the team. In the workshop, I had so many others. If you want to hear more, let me know. I'll do another episode and go through all the different 20 questions on how to manage change and how to help you with managing change. But I think it's something that everybody deals with so people will tell you embrace the change. But we know it's not always that easy. Sometimes it helps to go through some different exercises so that you can start seeing what that potential possibility is, that potential opportunity, and start embracing that unknown that we all struggle with. Okay, if you have not heard yet, I am so excited about partnering with One Skin. It's the most incredible skin care company. I have never backed a skincare company ever and I back them 100. They are the only company that is proven to unwind the aging process. Literally. 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Stop all that. You don't even need to use retin A anymore. You can, but you need to use one skin first so that you can rebuild the skin and get back to healthy younger skin. Scientifically proven to be younger. They're the only ones that can say that. Don't believe me? Check out the link in the show notes below. It will take you to all the before and after all of the science backing it up. One skin is a game changer. And right now I've got 15% off for you. Do the subscription so that you get the 15% off forever. You can cancel at any point in time. You are welcome. We all feel a little bit more confident when we look good, don't we? I certainly do. I hope you do too. And you are going to be looking a heck of a lot better once you got one skin. Until next week, Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds. Seems alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.